Aug
04
2025

Burnout and Life Audits: What I’m Reassessing Before a Big Transition

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I recently read an article about being burned out and well, that hit a nerve. I have absolutely, positively, no idea why. Shortly after I realized the month was coming to an end and as has been the case every month, a word came to me clear as day: AUDIT. I need to do an audit of my life. I need to step back and assess my life a bit – my actions, my choices, my everything.

So I give you… AU-dit-GUST. It’s a big month for me. My oldest goes to college in two weeks and I’m not ready. Maybe it’s by design. You know, I’ve been so busy I haven’t had a chance to stop and think about how I really feel. If I did, I would be paralyzed in sadness or overwhelm. Just last night it hit me real hard and the fear came in and knocked me over…

Have I taught him enough? Is he ready for all the peer pressure that comes with parties and this and that? How will he handle the workload? How will this and that and that and this? Did I do enough? Did I do a good enough job? Do I have enough time to do more? Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well.

But I have to ask myself, truly, honestly…why am I here? Why am I panicking – besides this is probably normal for first time moms? Well… My gut knows that I didn’t manage my priorities well this summer. That I procrastinated out of overwhelm, fear, and more. My gut knows that I am not doing well with my ADHD and figuring out how to work with it, especially as perimenopause makes it a heck of a lot harder. My gut knows that I am not doing a great job taking care of myself; that I haven’t been eating well, drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, or exercising – all things that help me feel well, be well and do well.

And by my gut, what I really mean, is I know. I don’t write this to be negative or self-critical. It’s the opposite. It’s actually self-love in a way. My self-reflection, my honesty with myself, will help me move forward to a place I’d rather be. Not being honest with myself, that’s not love. That would just keep me stuck and feeling heavy. I want to feel light, buoyant, and as balanced as possible. I want to feel as present as possible.

So I need to AU-dit-GUST to see where the obstacles are holding me back. Where can I subtract? Where can I add? Where can I keep things the same? Where can I ask for help? Where can I be more honest with myself? Where can I let go? One thing that I am considering, as you noticed, is writing a little less here this month so that I can really, truly focus on this big transition in my life. It’s hard for me to do this.

It means I will take a hit with Facebook sharing with all of you and I will have to bust my tuckus to get it back. It means while I will feel good about focusing more in one area of my life, I will feel a little unsure about another area. It means I will get out of habit which is hard for me as getting back into habits is always a challenge. It means being uncomfortable. Sometimes discomfort is needed for growth so I am going to accept being uncomfortable.

And besides, my first few days of AU-dit-GUST clearly gave me the decision to take a step back from writing and I think it is the right one for now. We’ll see. Life ebbs and flows. I think we all know that on August 20th (after drop off) I’m gonna be a mess and need to write about it 😉 What about you? Do you need an AU-dit-GUST as you prepare for back to school or the wrapping up of summer and the start of fall? Are you feeling a little misaligned and needing to do a reboot to feel a little lighter?

OR is your AU-dit-GUST leaving you feeling great? And remember, just because we self reflect and see growth, it doesn’t have to be negative. It can be done with compassion and excitement – and it should be done that way;) Off to breakfast as I am in a different city…again.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you totally get this and are feeling you need an AU-dit-GUST like now. Do you want me to post some questions daily? That is easy for me to do…lol…I think.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Jul
24
2025

The Christmas Gift I Never Forgot — and the Woman I Just Learned I Lost

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*Trigger warning, perhaps grab tissues, I know I should have* I wasn’t able to keep up with all the supportive comments yesterday as I received some devastating news midday. Oddly enough, it was right in keeping with the message of yesterday’s post – BE KIND. Every December I write a post (shoot, and here come the tears again, they kinda haven’t stopped since yesterday afternoon) about the first Christmas after I got divorced.

I got divorced in November. It was either a few days before or after Thanksgiving. How’s that for timing? Needless to say I wasn’t really feeling the holiday spirit and if you have followed me long enough, you know I LOVE Christmas. Like, it’s my favorite time of year. It was hard that year though, for obvious reasons. I felt lonelier than ever. I felt worse about myself, than ever. I felt more doubt about my future, than ever.

I felt more down, than ever. So yeah, it was hard knowing Christmas was coming and that I wasn’t in the spirit? Well that just made it harder. I didn’t want to miss out on something so important to me. I just couldn’t lift my own spirits. Christmas for me isn’t about getting presents; it’s about creating magic and memories for and with my kids.

That said, it is nice to receive at least one gift and know that someone is thinking of you, you know? I knew that year, there wouldn’t be any presents for me under the tree when I came down Christmas morning. I knew I would have to wait until my parents arrived later that afternoon. This was a hard pill to swallow and it was bringing my spirits down even more. Right before the holiday break though, a package was delivered to my door.

I was PTO president that year and had become close with the Principal. We shared a lot in common. She too was going through a divorce. She too loved talking about leadership and obviously education. She too had children with ADHD. And she too, clearly liked to do nice things for others because the package was from her. “DREAM.” How appropriate. That is what the handwritten ornament said that laid on the coziest blanket I had yet to own.

Included was also a gift card to Barnes & Noble, Victoria’s Secret, and one to Dunkin’ Donuts. It was a gift basket inviting me to get some cozy pajamas, a hot cup of coffee and then curl up and read a good book. It was a gift to ensure that when I was by myself over the break, I had something to do…that I wasn’t totally “by myself.” The tears came to my eyes then, as they do now, the minute I saw the gift. The thoughtfulness was second to none.

That was in 2016. Nine years ago and it still, STILL warms my heart. That gift got me through my first Christmas divorced. That gift made me

*feel seen
*feel understood
*feel supported
*feel a heck of a lot less alone.

That gift gave me a “flicker of light,” to get through the holiday season. It was the nudge I needed to keep going on the hard days, the days I wanted to crawl back and in bed and hide or just bawl my eyes out.

That gift was a lifeline. It invited me to dream of the future; of better moments, of better days, of better feelings. I learned yesterday that the gift giver passed away unexpectedly. My heart broke when I read the news. I used the phrase “flicker of light” directly from her obituary.

Turns out, she had been the recipient of many “flickers of light” in her own life, during many of her own challenges, of which she had plenty and honestly, way too many. Her family was as grateful to those who gave to her, as I was to her. It was those “flickers of light” that kept my “gift giver” going for all the years that life tried so hard to weigh her down. She was often misunderstood.

But to me? Well, I understood her. And to me she had been nothing, absolutely nothing, but kind, thoughtful. To me, she had been one of the few people willing to listen to me. BE REAL during a REALly hard time. There aren’t a lot of people who have the heart, the courage, or the willingness to do that. I will never, ever forget that gift. I won’t forget the physical gift either, but the gift of letting me be real? Of letting me feel seen and understood? I won’t forget that either.

So I repeat, Be Kind, you never know the power or impact of one small action. And to my gift giver, one last thank you. Thank you for the gifts, and thank you for doing what you loved to do in your last days – teach. Although I wish your passing didn’t have to be what made me really, REALly come to full realization of what I wanted to do with my life, it did.

You taught me what my heart has always wanted and gave me the clarity I’ve been seeking for years. You gave me a final gift. Thank you, again. Your kindness of spirit will continue, I promise. Rest in peace. You deserve it. And to everyone here in this community, thank you for being here. Thank you for being kind, because I know you are. You always show such kindness to me and to everyone here through your comments.

Here, I
*feel seen
*feel understood
*feel supported
*feel a heck of a lot less alone and that, well that is just amazing. I hope you feel the same.

Sending my warmth, to go with your strength, today and always, and today I also send the reminder that it’s okay if you aren’t feeling strong today. Here, here you don’t have to be. Here, you can breathe, be at ease, and let your guard down. You don’t have to have it all together here.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

To everyone who is new here since yesterday, welcome and sorry for such a heavy post as your introduction to this community!

That said, this is me! I write about everything on my heart. I don’t hide. I believe in being real and I don’t really know any other way;) Besides, I know that we must experience the ups and the downs in life; the grays and the oranges so that we can truly live the life we want and be the person we want. We need the warm, uplifting orange moments to make the grays bearable and the grays well, gray happens. We can’t ignore them.

We need to acknowledge them and move through them so they don’t grow and cast a huge shadow on the bright, orange moments.

Jul
09
2025

When One Sip Sounds Like a Good Idea: What Sobriety Looks Like on a Hard Day

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The bottle was leftover from the graduation festivities. It sat, open, but closed, in the bottom shelf of the fridge, and it called my name. Oh did it call my name. “Oh hey there Sheila. You didn’t know I was here, did you? Well, here I am. Chilled, open, ready for you, right when you are so incredibly stressed and ready to lose your ever loving mind. It’s just one sip. What’s the danger in just one sip?”

“Right,” I thought. “What is the danger in just one sip? I have already gone well over five months without a drink, so what is one drop, one sip? Does it really matter? It’s not like I decided to stop drinking because I had a problem. I stopped drinking for health reasons. I stopped drinking to show my sons that life didn’t need alcohol to be “delicious” and enjoyable. I stopped drinking because it is a problem historically in my family and I knew I could very well go down that path; that I sensed I might be going down that path.”

I grabbed the bottle. I twisted the lid off. The bottle was two weeks-ish old so the smell of the white wine was strong.

Inviting. Tempting. I lifted the bottle up. And I almost took that sip. I almost did. I was so, so, incredibly close. And then I stopped.

And I walked right to the sink and poured the entire bottle out. First, it was old and it wasn’t worth it. Second, it was just one sip but one sip and I knew that one sip would lead to two, and two would lead to three, and three would lead to a glass. And third, third, I was days away from celebrating 6 months of being alcohol free. I didn’t want to give up on myself. I didn’t want to give up on my commitment. I didn’t want to give up in a moment of weakness.

The pride I felt when I said no to the wine, and yes to myself, was immense. At the same time, the sadness I felt that I was so stressed that I felt I needed something to numb, well, that bummed me out. Why?

Because to me it proved that yes, yes, not drinking was indeed the right path for me. Alcoholism is a problem in my greater family. Not drinking is a part of my journey now.

And the fact that it is so hard some days just continues to prove how it is such an important part of my journey. And it is hard. Really hard some days. Some days the stress, the pain, the overwhelm is so much that I just want a drink to make it go away.

But the drink doesn’t solve anything. And what I really want? What I am really seeking in that moment is the ritual of the drink and the feelings the ritual gives me. The pouring, the creating, of a drink.

Ritual = Doing something just for me The sitting down, and taking a break to drink, the drink.
Ritual = Slowing down and relaxing The enjoying and fully savoring the drink.
Ritual = Filling up with joy after a day of feelings that have been the exact opposite.

So as I continue my journey of not drinking —which is a part of my greater journey of living a life that feels good, that aligns with who I am, who I want to be, what I want, and where I want to go— I will continue to find a new ritual for when I feel overly stressed and needing to numb. I will continue to try and create a reset ritual for myself that doesn’t include alcohol. Or rather, creating several reset rituals. (Side note: if only I liked drinking tea. I used to work for Lipton Tea and I know that tea drinkers find it to be very much a ritual type of thing. I can’t make myself like tea…at all. Ugh. And baths take too long. And exercising at night wakes me up. I’ve tried lots of things. And I will keep trying)

Until I find a reset ritual that works fully…I will keep doing what I am doing which is saying to myself, “Sheil, you don’t want the drink, you want to feel better and this ain’t gonna do the trick. Maybe in the moment it will, but only briefly. It isn’t worth it. Pour some water. Leave the room. Put some music on.”

While I know this post is about my journey to not drink, the truth is we all have things /actions/habits (yes, habits) we do to numb ourselves when we need to escape the frustration, the stress, the pain, the overwhelm, the chaos, the whatever-feeling-we-don’t-like that we are currently feeling.

What is your go to replacement action for said numbing habit? Do you have one? Scrolling is another one of my numbing go-to’s. Ugh. “Don’t scroll, go for a quick stroll” is one of my sayings/actions for that struggle (and yes, I still struggle lol) Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you are struggling with a numbing activity that you would really like to stop. I know it ain’t easy.

Gosh do I (especially since many of the numbing activities are generally everywhere we go!) 

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

P.S. Not drinking is officially part of my journey, my story, my life. I will be writing about it more. I can’t, not write about it. I hope you stick around in spite of this addition. Again, it isn’t a judgement of anyone who still drinks. It is just my journey and like I said, it is a reflection of any action we take to avoid feeling something we don’t like AND it is a part of my greater journey to live a life where I can walk lighter and feel brighter

Jun
28
2025

Adult Friendship: Why I Want More Than Three Local Friends

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I don’t have a lot of friends, at least not locally. And I’ll be honest, I wish I had a few more than three. Not because I need a lot, but because it’s fun to go out to dinner with a group sometimes, you know? And share a bunch of laughs, instead of a few? And also because each friend has different interests that overlap with yours so it’s nice to have a few of ’em.

Because every friend brings different thoughts, perspectives, and more so it helps expand your own thoughts and perspectives.

So yeah, sometimes I wish I had more friends, or at least, more friends locally. Does it mean I don’t love the few friends I have? Nah. Love ’em to pieces and am so grateful for them. It just means, sometimes I long for a little more. Some of the friend situations are my own doing because I’m not very good at keeping in touch. I have a couple of close friends in town who I rarely see. Our schedules hardly overlap and even if they do, I’m not great at reaching out ahead of time to see IF they do have plans that week or even the next.

And some of it’s my own doing because I haven’t put the effort in to meet new people. I haven’t put myself out there. I haven’t gone to events or joined groups with like minded people that I would connect with.

But then again, if I hardly have time for myself and the great friends I do have, why would I add more things to my “to do” list? It kinda doesn’t make sense, but also kinda does, ya know? Human connection is a necessity. Not just a want, a necessity. Please tell me this makes sense lol. And some of my friend situation is my own doing because, well, I’m me and my family is my family. They say when you get older you meet people and make friends through your kids.

Well, my kids aren’t overly involved in local activities so there’s that. And me? Well, I don’t party. I am not married. I’m REAL and am not fake. I seem to just stand on the outside of things, welcomed, but then not included. I don’t know. I just don’t seem to be invited to things or reached out for my number to grab coffee. At least, not that much. I’ve accepted it. It just, well, stinks. ALL THIS SAID…I have an amazing, uplifting story to share from the other day. And before you ask, yes, yes it also brought tears at the end of the day, tears of gratitude.

A few weeks ago, I got a random facebook message. Long story short, a mom from the college my son is going to connected some dots between people she knew and pages she and I are both on and figure out that her son and my son might have some things in common. She had also found a few other moms with sons with similar journeys. All of us live within 15 minutes of each other and one lives in California. Six of us have been texting the last month.

Sharing our fears. Asking questions. Giving support. Celebrating graduations. Experiencing similar emotions, together, that others might not understand. Talk about a gift.

Well, Thursday I got to meet two of the moms. Ladies…rare is the time where I have walked up to two women who I have never met and felt at ease. Am I right? I know you know what I mean. Rare is the time where I have met new women and just felt, well, like I could be me; where I could speak freely about my journey as the mom of my son; where I could share freely, honestly, openly without fear of judgement. Rare is the time when I could make jokes and laugh with people I JUST MET not minutes ago.

I spent all day with these ladies. It was amazing. We took a picture at the end of the day and I joked that we will take one again in four years. We all laughed and said, well hopefully four and not five or six;) The thing is, I truly feel we will all be together again in four years (or five or six) to take that photo. Oh how I hope so.

We are all getting together with our sons tomorrow. I can’t wait. I have been longing for this for so long. Soooo long. What a gift. Which brings me to my final point. One of the sessions they actually spoke of just this desire… BeLong(ing) that is. That is how they showed it on the screen. Their wish, their goal, is to ensure all students feel as if they belong because they know everyone has a longing for it. I had been longing to feel accepted. We all have that longing. To get that feeling though, it helps to be around the right people.

Those people aren’t just kind, those people have similar interests, similar journeys, similar a lot of things. Some things are different for sure, that helps us all to grow (there is beauty in differences!!!!) but similarities help us to feel as if we BeLong. I hope you all feel as if you BeLong here.

And I hope if you get nothing else from yet another long post from me 🙂 you feel inspired to take action to build up friendships that I know you are longing for – or reinforcing the ones you have. Tell me, share with me, how do you feel about your friendship circle these days? I have a hunch many of you might be feeling similar to me…

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you totally got this post.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Jun
21
2025

Letting Go as Your Kids Grow Up — Without Missing the Beautiful Parts

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I didn’t have kids so that I could be away from them; I had kids so that I could be with them. I didn’t have kids so that I could be around just for the tough times; I had kids so that I could witness, actively participate in the really beautiful times. The milestones. The celebrations. The achievements. Their excitement. Their joy. Likewise, I didn’t get married so that I could get divorced and then have to split up special days in my kids’ lives and therefore miss out on some pieces.

But here I am. Divorced and missing out.

Today, my second son is heading out for two weeks to go to a college for a science course he is wicked excited about. I helped him find the course, apply to the course, and pack for the course. I’m not taking him to the course though, his father is. I am taking him to another course later this summer, which is at my alma mater, so that’s cool. And we agreed to this arrangement for a few reasons so it kinda sorta makes sense that I’m not going today and also…and also…

It SUCKS. Like, a lot, a lot. I want to be there when his eyes go wide open as he sees how beautiful the campus is that he got accepted to for this summer program. I want to be there when he smiles with excitement as he sees all the events he gets to participate in. I want to be there to help him unpack and set up his dorm room. Sure, it isn’t “college” but it is a dry run. He’s my first kiddo going away for more than a weekend and well, it’s a big deal, for him, for me.

I want to be there to make sure he knows the this, the that, the that, the this. I want to be there to do the mom things, you know? To answer his questions. To ease his anxiety (which I know is high.) To support him in any way he needs. I just want to friggin’ be there.

But I won’t be. I’m missing out on a really, really big moment. And it sucks. It hurts. Like so, so much. I didn’t have kids so that I could be away from them; I had kids that I could be with them. I didn’t have kids so that I could be around just for the tough times; I had kids so that I could witness, actively participate in the really beautiful times.

The milestones.
The celebrations.
The achievements.
Their excitement.
Their joy.


And also, their worries and their needs, expected and unexpected. I had kids so I could be there for them. Life is both/and. Life is both orange and gray. We can understand something, and also not like it. We can support something, and also, strongly, strongly dislike it. Part of me is really friggin’ mad at myself for not saying I wanted to go as well but…it’s just the way the cookie crumbled. I just don’t like the crumbs.

Because that’s the thing, divorced or not, as parents, we do miss out sometimes. Even when not divorced, I missed out, rather, I opted out.

I remember my ex wanting to take the boys skiing for the first time. I really, really, REALLY wanted to go. But I was so overwhelmed with writing my book that I knew for me, I needed the day to myself to enjoy the quiet so that I could show up better for everyone that week.

So I missed out by opting out. MOOO lol. Even though it was my choice, it was still a hard call. The right call, but also the hard call. Same with the divorce. Same with today. And even though I have not missed a lot, and even though my ex and I have beautifully shared a lot, and even though I am so grateful for how well we have done, today, today is still hard and… I’m not feeling all the warm fuzzies about life.

I’m feeling them about my son though. I’m bursting with pride and excitement for him; with amazement at how he follows his heart time and time again. Life is both/and. If there is one upside to my divorce, it’s that because I do miss out on things now, I am much, much more intentional in living and much, much more intentional in my times with my kids.

People talk about FOMO oh so casually and almost make fun of it sometimes. Well for some of us, it’s real. So I make sure, when and where I can control things, I don’t miss out. I don’t want to miss out on anything because of my own doing, because of my own actions. Sure, I will opt out for my mental health so that I can show up better, so that I don’t get so burnt out or sick that I do miss out in the long run but… I won’t set myself up to miss out in the present.

I actively work to set myself up to be as present as I can in the moment. I didn’t used to be so good at it, but now, now I try harder than ever. It’s hard. (Okay Sheil, that is kinda a realllly big understatement lol. You couldn’t find a better word?!) And, it does put a lot of pressure on myself. No doubt. It’s extra hard now that I am actively working to effectively launch a new company. Trying to be the fully present mom I want to be so I “don’t miss a thing” while also trying to launch a company so that I fulfill my needs (which by the way, fuels my heart which helps me be more present) is a lot. It’s a juggling act, one I’m still learning.

This week, the company got dropped. It didn’t feel good. But I didn’t miss out on what mattered with my kids and that felt wonderful. My son and I packed all day yesterday. I was as present as I could be, pushing all my feelings aside to focus on him. Not easy. I’m going to post this and wake him up to see if he wants to go for breakfast, then send him off with his dad with a big hug and smile, and fight like heck to hold back my tears so I send him off with warmth, strength, and my confidence and happiness.

I don’t want to send him off with my baggage, just his. It won’t be easy. But when is parenting ever easy? Thinking of everyone today who is feeling the reality of life being both/and today knowing that we will all, yes all of us, get through these tough both/and moments. We will, we will. I promise. Truly.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you know all too well what I mean about missing out, divorced or not.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

May
27
2025

The Surprisingly Simple Way I’m Connecting Better With My Teenagers

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Yep. It’s true. I’ve discovered a secret to connecting with my teens: being playful. It is legit working wonders in our relationships. The challenge though? It seems they are returning the favor. See photo for evidence.

I woke up at 5 am per usual. The thing is though that as I have been caring for my fiancé all weekend (he had neck surgery and is recovering and not sleeping well) I am EXHAUSTED. Like beyond.

So when I sat down in my chair this morning to write, I promptly passed out. The half cup of coffee I had poured didn’t keep me awake (obviously.) Anywho, I called out to sweet son #4, “Oh sweet child of mine, would you mind pouring me some coffee? I feel asleep, I have to post by 7 and I can’t get up. I’m exhausted.” He started walking towards me, not a complaint coming out of his mouth. That should have been an alarm in my mind.

I looked up. I saw the twinkle in his eye. “Oh thank you sweetheart, you are the absolute best.” I said as he poured the coffee. Then I realized he WASN’T STOPPING. Then again, the twinkle in his eye wasn’t either.

And the smirk had started and it wasn’t going anywhere either. “There you go mom, how is that?” He was so proud of himself, his playfulness, his cleverness. It was adorable. I laughed. He smiled even more. WE CONNECTED. We both relaxed. We both enjoyed the moment. We both enjoyed each other. No bickering. No nagging. No nothing except joy.

This is becoming a regular – the connecting over playful moments that is. The other stuff still happens, I want to be very, very clear. Bickering? Me nagging on occasion. Him complaining on occasion. Us not getting along. Me wanting to call it quits on this parenting gig. Yes, all the not connecting is still present BUT so are these positive and playful moments. The difference? These ones are intentional. They are being made on purpose, by both of us. All of us actually.

My other boys are doing the same. They do stem from me. I admit it. I’m actively being more goofy with them. I blast songs they hate as they get out of the car. And I see their smirk. I unmake their beds when I can tell they will accept a playful silly gesture. I go into their rooms when the mood is chill and jump onto their beds and say, “What’s up doc?” I talk in their language but 100% intentionally WRONG, I mean lamborghini pork chops just sounds ridiculous anyways. If it annoys them, I take it up a notch and they actually love it. The eye rolls are plentiful but also have a sparkle to them.

I’ve lightened up and am stepping out of my comfort zone and it’s working. We are all having MORE FUN together and wow what a difference. Again, the yucky moments are still present but these lighter moments are making the other ones more bearable because (1) I know a lighter moment will come (2) I know our relationship isn’t just the yucky moments I rarely give advice, you all know that isn’t how I roll, but I am going to today.

Go be silly with your kids. Being silly isn’t just for kids or toddlers or babies. EVERYONE loves to be playful and laugh. Even your partner. *Edited to add…in a way that works for your family. Playful is different for everyone.

And that is 100% okay. i.e. I hate to be touched or snuck up on. That is 100% off limits. Playful can be singing together * I didn’t used to be as silly. I was afraid to be.

But my word, now that I am? Oh my gosh life is so much for fun. I mean duh, but not duh you know? Tell me what playful thing you did today. Share the joy with all of us. Inspire us. Maybe we can get 50 comments and then I can create a 50 Playful Things to do to Connect with Your Teens.

Okay that idea just came to me and if anyone steals it I’ll be annoyed lol. There – my not playful side came out 😉 but kinda being playful hahaha. For real though LET’S DO THAT. Goal set! Go! -OR- another edit to add, how did you connect with your kiddos in their, your families, love language? Everyone connects differently. For some of us, it’s cooking a favorite meal.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you are wanting to connect with your kids or partner right now and are longing for it so very much. I know that feeling. I will probably be there at some point this week and then I will come to this comment thread for inspiration. Thinking of you.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

May
02
2025

Why an Orange Dress Made Me Feel More Like Myself

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I got the message loud and clear. Buy the orange dress! So many of you sent me the link to this totally awesome orange dress from Quince. I was hesitant as they listed the color as red-something but turns out that it is 100% Orange Rhino orange and I love it. Do you know how I felt the moment I put it on?! HAPPY. Alive. Confident. Frigging awesome. It is so adorable and awesome and on brand lol. This picture isn’t the best one of me that I took (slight wardrobe malfunction, whatevers) but the best of the dress.

I will have to wear it again (easy!) and do a real photo shoot. But let’s step back for a moment and gain some perspective. I’m Sheila – a girl who from afar has loved clothes, especially dresses. I’ve loved getting dressed up. I’ve dreamed of dressing up more often. One thing I miss from my work days? My suits. My business outfits. My feeling sharp and put together. I’ve had a goal since January to “Put on Confident Clothes” every day.

No more just staying in workout clothes all day (except for when working around the house or in the yard or well, when life happens and other exceptions lol.) I finally listened to myself and leaned into my desire to dress up more. I finally listened and leaned into my desire to feel more confident on a daily, not a moment by moment basis. I finally listened and leaned into the fact I wanted to embrace: WHO CARES what people think if I go out in all orange and I am unapologetically, 100% bright?!

I’ve been putting on my “Confidence Clothes” (yep that is what it says as a task in my phone) daily and guess what?! Ladies, can I tell you how awesome it feels?! To listen to my heart, to lean into my desires, to have FUN?! To have a pep in my step?! I always felt clothes and fashion were unattainable for me because I am just not fashion forward, never really have been. No offense to my mom (who is totally reading this) but she wasn’t one to teach me about fashion.

We have very different styles. VERY different styles. I didn’t even learn about makeup or doing my hair. Any of that stuff. Not the end of the world, for sure. She taught me other things that mattered more – kindness, compassion, courage, yada yada (there you go mom, happy mother’s day.) But fashion, make-up, and accessorizing are things I’ve longed to learn about, to be good at.

And now I’m letting myself explore and have fun and I feel so much lighter as a result. What we wear matters. It does impact how we feel!

So thank you all for sending me the link to the dress! It truly energized me yesterday and made me feel better, helped me feel more me after days of feeling flat, dull and blech. May is mental health awareness month (should’ve made that my M, mental health!) Being honest with myself that I actually love clothes, honoring this insight and desire, and being 100% unapologetic about this side of me?! Oh it is so good for my mental health.

Being true to me – a key to my mental health. And as I write that, I feel I need to be even more honest with myself about other things. That includes sharing things with all of you. Hmmm, maybe next week. It’s been weighing on my mind and I’m ready to feel more free, more light. It’s Mental Health Awareness month after all and mental health matters to me, big time!

I’m curious…do you feel you are totally honest with yourself? Do you know when you aren’t telling yourself the truth? When you’re ignoring what your heart is saying? I do and ugh. I’m getting better at listening (only took a couple of years lol.) Happy FriYAY my friends! I hope you feel confident and comfortable and content in whatever you wear today – literally and figuratively.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if what you put on today, literally or figuratively, doesn’t feel right. I hope you can take one action to feel better.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Apr
10
2025

Saying Goodbye to a Home After Divorce: When Renovation Brings Up Everything

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Saying goodbye to the kitchen I designed with my ex-husband…the same kitchen where we celebrated birthdays and achievements, like my 365 days without yelling…the same kitchen where we stood and decided to end our marriage, where we decided to walk away from the dream we both so very much wanted, is turning out to be very, very hard. I am filled with both immense sadness and excitement. Life is both/and my friends.

I used to think it was black and white. I used to live in black and white, sometimes in gray. If there is one thing I’ve learned from my divorce, it’s the both/and. I’ve had to learn to hold space in the same hour for painful feelings and pleasurable ones. I’ve had to be an Orange Rhino day in and day out. I’ve had to really embrace that concept – that gray feelings are real and exist and need to be honored, and also that orange feelings, ones of warmth, positive energy, enthusiasm, ones that help us be present, be action oriented, be fulfilled, can exist too.

And the Orange feelings – they wrap the gray ones up with a big tight embrace so one can keep moving forward. Both/and Enthusiastic/Sad Orange/Gray And now I take my kiddos to school – literally using all the Orange energy I have to wrap up the gray with love so that I can be present with my kiddos and not snappy.

Sending my warmth to you, to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you too are working on wrapping up your gray this morning. Your gray is real. I see you.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Apr
07
2025

90 Days Without Alcohol: Why I Quietly Decided to Stop Drinking

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I have some news. I’ve debated sharing it but here goes, absolutely nothing, and absolutely everything all at once. This morning I celebrate a major milestone for myself. As of this morning, I have gone 90 days without having an alcoholic beverage. And ladies, I am so friggin’ proud and ecstatic and relieved.

Here’s my story. I haven’t really told anyone about this goal. It kinda just happened. I’ve been trying to get to a healthier weight to beat a type 2 diabetes diagnosis. My health coach suggested I cut back on my 1-2 drinks a week. “Many of my clients your age see a major difference when they do this.”

I knew this to be true, but 1-2 drinks couldn’t possibly make a difference. That’s when I started tracking my food intake. And drinks. And looked in the mirror. Big time.

The truth is, though, it wasn’t 1-2 drinks. Last November, it had become 3-4 a week and one week, it was 7, one nightly. Stress had been increasing, BIG time (clearly.) The end of the day came and my mind, my body, my everything craved a gin and tonic to relieve the stress, the pain, the everything and anything I hadn’t figured out how to cope with because I hadn’t figured out what was bothering me in the first place.

And that, my friends, was a big ‘ole wake up call. I knew that wanting alcohol to numb my pain and overwhelm wasn’t a good thing. You see… Alcoholism runs in my family and not just that – it has run over my family. It has changed lives, in many ways, and not for the better. I wish I could write more but I can’t without permission. For me though, it has always (until this past November) changed my life for the better.

It woke me up and made me say, “Never will I let alcohol ruin my life or my kids.” I have always grown up telling myself I would raise my boys aware of alcoholism and the impacts. I have been drunk less than 4 times as a result of what I have seen alcohol do. I have barely been buzzed for that matter. Even after someone told me, “You’d be a lot more fun if you drank,” I still stayed true to mostly avoiding alcohol. I have always known the negative impact alcohol holds and so I have kept it to a bare, bare minimum.

And so this fall, this fall when my body was practically demanding alcohol to feel better? And then my health coach said something along the lines of (and I am going to get this wrong and I am not giving medical advice): “Your body works harder to focus on removing the toxins that come with alcohol than fat.” Well, I decided that was it. I was going to give it a try. I mean, I’ve had 4 boys and collectively went 36 months without drinking.

I’ve gone years filled with only 1-2 drinks a week. There is certainly no reason I can’t go cold turkey. Oh, and did I mention at this time I was also starting to feel cruddy about myself more than usual? Feeling like a failure because I hadn’t hit some necessary goals? Yep. Let’s add that. I wanted to feel successful again. I yearned to feel successful. I knew that feeling successful would be contagious and would spill over into other areas of my life where I was struggling.

And I was right. Achieving one goal, one day at a time (which actually has been two goals – weight loss, and alcohol loss) has had a major waterfall effect in my life.

So today is a big celebration. I celebrate determination. I celebrate loving myself enough to try. I celebrate reminding myself of my goals every time I saw a drink and wanted one – including last night when the stress of wondering if I am going to meet my packing goal was omnipresent. I celebrate living a life aligned with my values, my goals. I celebrate showing my boys a lesson that matters so very much to me that I had temporarily walked away from.

I celebrate feeling a little more alive again, one day at a time. I celebrate because we should all celebrate any little or big wins we have. It is absolutely friggin necessary and not to mention, so much fun. Confetti is fun ladies. (Just do it in the garage, less mess haha.) I believe in all of us. I write that not to be cheesy or corny or whatever – I write that because I know not all of us have someone saying that.

We all deserve to have a hype person, someone telling us that. You are worthy of working towards the hard goal that you know will ultimately make you feel better. You are, truly.

Sending my warmth, to go with your strength, today and always. And if you need a little extra strength, I share that too. And if you are struggling and wanting to know more about this particular subject, I am a message away (a little preoccupied these two weeks with packing, but I am here.)

xoxo, Sheila


🧡 The Orange Rhino

Apr
01
2025

Doing the Scary Thing Anyway: What I’m Learning About Confidence

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***Am I really going to press post?! Yep. It’s April and April is for being audacious…in a positive way. Here goes nothing!***

So, I did a thing recently and last night, oh last night I was starting to question myself…big time. Discomfort rolled in and rolled over me. Self-doubt tried to flatten me.

And then, then I remembered what I wrote earlier in the day – my word of the month for April: AUDACIOUS. Ladies, let’s be AUDACIOUS this month. Yep, I want people to say “the audacity of her!” I want ME to say, “the audacity of you! GO YOU!” And so, so I share this message with this picture. I haven’t shared it because I was embarrassed by it. It feels too, well, not me, right? Too glamorous. It’s bold. It’s courageous to share it.

It’s out of my comfort zone. And so, so I share it with you all as a first step in being a little more audacious this month…

Now to post before I don’t – and then to come back and explain more;) Okay, it’s posted and I’m back. So the thing I did? I joined a group of women to support each other in building our companies. I’ve fully accepted I can’t do it alone. I need the mental, intellectual and communal support. There is nothing better than being surrounded by people who get you, fully see you, and lift you up. Asking people who don’t get you, your dreams, your challenges, for support can be defeating, soul-sucking and create more obstacles to growth.

Been there. Done that. Rinsed and repeated. No More. The bold part? The group I joined is a bunch of women way, and I mean, way younger than me. Hotter than me too. Like, these ladies, no kids yet. Youth is on their side. Energy is on their side. Time is on their side. I am intimidated by them for all those reasons. I don’t fit it. AT ALL. This scared me at first. I almost didn’t say yes.

And then I realized…I could learn so much from what I am afraid of. I could gain so much from their energy, their youthfulness, their knowledge. There is a saying, that I will now destroy lol, that you are a sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. There is so much truth to it. More loosely, who you surround yourself with – their mindset, their energy, their attitudes, their outlooks etc.. – they are indeed, and scientifically proven, contagious.

Choose wisely. Choose BOLDLY. Make choices that will brighten your day, lift your spirits, help you not just chase your dreams, but get you closer to your dreams. Make choices that will leave you feeling lighter at the end of the day, not heavier. Make choices that will help you break through any and all obstacles you face so that you can live the life you want, you need, you deserve. It’s April. Be Audacious. Be Bold.

Be Courageous. Be Bright. Feel lighter as a result.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you aren’t feeling it today. Your strength lies within you every day, some days more so than others.

But everyday, everyday it is there, growing or re-building. I believe in you. I believe in all of us.

xoxo, Sheila


🧡 The Orange Rhino