Oct

2025

When Your Feelings Surprise You at the Doctor’s Office

Posted on October 24, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

Here’s the thing –> I truly didn’t realize how I felt which is how I got to this photo. So yeah, holy moly do I have a story for you all! I have a *hunch* you all might just relate and maybe, just maybe (okay I hope lol) you’ve had a similar experience lately? If not, just fib and say, yes, Sheila, of course we have!

So yesterday, I had a doctor’s appointment to review my adhd medication and antidepressants. No shame there ladies (and gentleman or two I think.) Yep I have anxiety and situational depression that I deal with – it is what it is.

Anyway, standard question. “Sooo, how’s it going?” I hadn’t seen this doctor in three months. Like, I was going to answer this question quick and easy peasy?

I gave bullet points. “Well, let’s see. All my kids are giving me agita at the same time – this has never, ever happened in my life. (I proceeded to share details. Fairly certain heart rate proceeded to increase as well.) I am worried about each one and it’s impacting my sleep. I legit have stressmares where I am processing all the challenges.” I said.

“Okay….” She said, as I interrupted her.

“But wait, there’s more! The renovation has basically been an emotional and literal disaster even though I’m grateful. It is exhausting and taking up so much time. Plus I’m trying to kinda sorta launch a company which I could drop so I could focus more on parenting but honestly, I am already giving so much to parenting and I need to give to me too and my work is for me, it gives me hope, joy, life. You know?” I shared.

“Uh huh.” She kinda looked at me, like is there more. (Obviously, I’m truncating things here.)

“So basically, I’m just going moment by moment. It’s a lot. So much is urgent. I get through each day, wishing I had more laughter, more enjoyment even though I’ve had glimpses. The season is what it is. It’s going to get easier soon. And I know that. It is just hard right now. As I tell my community, it’s kinda lots of gray.”

Before we wrapped up the meeting I let her know that some lady yelled at me in the parking lot over the parking space I used, accusing me of parking illegally. Like what the what? I wanted to confirm I used the right spot for next time. News splash – I did. The lady just wanted to yell at me? I guess she was having a bad day, moment…aren’t we kinda all sometimes?

Kindness my friends. Ugh. We wrapped up, I admired the gorgeous pink and orange flowers in the reception area, and left. Hadn’t shed a tear even though I was close. “Huh, I guess I am handling this stress fairly well. Alrighty then.”

As I drove home, on a new path I didn’t know too well, I came to an intersection and all of a sudden, “oh shite! I’m in the wrong lane.” One angry driver next to me starts blasting his horn at me and flying his hands all around, screaming at me at the same time.

Facts.

I made a simple mistake.
It didn’t cause an accident.
It wasn’t going to – there was space for both of us to merge.
Calm the bejeebers down, I’m sorry, it wasn’t intentional.

I did arm movements to show it was an “oops” and mouthed “I’m so sorry.” He let me go and holy smokes –> I promptly burst, and I mean, burst into tears and said, “I’m just so tired of all the friggin’ challenges and mistakes! I’m doing my best darn it!”

Full blown tears people. As fast and furiously as he hit the horn. I was shocked. I wanted to blame hormones – because that is the internet’s go-to. Oh, menopause, hormones, crying for so reason.

But then I said to myself, “Sheila, screw that. Your tears are real. You are exhausted from how hard life has been. You have been go-go-going for good reason. It has been hard. Challenging. Frustrating. Disappointing. You’ve been doing your best. You don’t want to be yelled at for it. Of course that put you over. You want love. Care. Concern. You want people to show up for you— not put you down, as this man just did. As people in several of the projects you are working on have done recently. This was the straw that broke the gray rhinos back. You are human, girl. Maybe perimenopausal too, but human first!” I then wiped my tears. Laughed at myself because, perspective. I couldn’t believe that it took a man honking at me, something I can normally tolerate, to show me I need a break.

And then I promptly drove into the Wendy’s drive through for a fountain diet coke because the bubbles always taste good and I wanted to do something for me. SO this is where you go to the comments and say, “Sheil, me too. Been there, done that.” Pick any of these, tell me you get it, lol. Copy the emoji you get, or create your own.

1 the sudden crying because holy heck hit your limit!

2 the exhaustion from showing up because that is simply what you need to do right now

3 the telling yourself you refuse to let hormones be the answer to all your REAL feelings and experiences

4 the love of the bubbles in diet coke (now I want one and no seltzer is just not the same)

5 the knowing that people are showing up for you but at the same time, feeling a little unseen

This picture makes me smile, laugh, and also remember.

Girl, take a break. Get outside. Enjoy the sunshine and then take one small step to get something done because I do have things to do and letting them pile up will create stress and that is not needed. No thank you. It’s a balance.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if this photo and story are relatable – especially if point #5, is more than relatable. I get it. It might not seem like it, but I do see you.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Sep

2025

How to Make More Room for Fun When Life Becomes All Go-Go-Go

Posted on September 28, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

I realized something kinda major yesterday –> I’m not having as much fun as I’d like lately. Part of me wanted to wait to share this until tomorrow when more people will see this post but part of me also wants to reach who I can today because it’s Sunday and Sunday is the perfect day to receive this message. I’m *hoping* your Sunday is mostly open without work and therefore a lot of opportunity to hear this message and act accordingly.

Or even weekends when the kids are with me. Saturday morning hits, even Sunday, and my brain seems to have a mostly empty schedule and goes, “Yes. A day to get the 1,000 things I legit need to get done to keep this family going to where it wants to be and how it wants to feel.”

Yesterday, as I drove home from my son’s football game, ready to move furniture out of the pod in preparation for the last bit of the renovation, I realized: “Time out. It’s okay to go-go-go-getter-done when that is the season and that is what life demands. It happens. (Say it with me, gray happens….)

BUT girl… you are not having any fun lately.

Where’s the laughter? Where’s the smile? Where’s the joy? Where’s the enjoyment? The point was taken and my mindset was switched up. –> IT IS SO EASY to get into the habits, the rhythms, the goings of life and then to forget, to not see, that we aren’t laughing or smiling or living as much as we like, is it not?! I got my earbuds. Put on my favorite new spotify station, “90’s classics” and did all my work with a pep in my step.

I laughed at the memories that came back with each song. Like one that was with my college boyfriend and I liked…that came on when this younger girl was hitting on him, right in front of me. Oh the good ‘ole days. Or better yet, and good luck not singing this one, “Good Riddance” by Green Day. The lyrics are my theme song for life lately:

“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time
…It’s something unpredictable
But in the end, it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life”

YES. Love these lyrics and loved hearing them yesterday. My life is a test right now. Lots of challenges. Lots of obstacles. Lots of gray BUT how I reply, how I respond, or how I react is the real challenge, the real test.

When gray happens, it can define us. Been there, done that, don’t strongly recommend it -or- When gray happens, it can guide us by showing us what matters most to us and helping us find our ways there. -or- When gray happens, it can knock us down entirely, become our outlook, our everything and we miss out on all the other colors of life. Again, Been there, done that, don’t strongly recommend it -or- When Gray Happens, it can happen (as it darn will do no matter what) BUT we can happen too.

We Can Show Up. We can show up for ourselves..and for each other. We can show up and figure out how to get through the gray to a lighter, brighter place. We can challenge ourselves to make the gray brighter so that as we embrace it, it doesn’t feel so blech. Mindset and perspective shifts; action and reaction changes aren’t easy. Oh heck now. They take practice.

But the work is worth it. So today, this Sunday, I encourage you to ask yourself if you are having as much fun as you want? If the gray is way too overbearing (how dare it!) how you can add some fun to the day so it feels lighter? I’m about to do more housework. Not my ideal way to spend a gorgeous, sunny 80 September day, BUT I’m telling myself to stay focused so I can get it all done by noon so I can do the fun – sit on my tuckus and just enjoy the sunshine.

What about you? What are your plans today? If nothing, create them right now. Share them with us to keep yourself accountable. Make today fun. Laugh. Smile. Relax. Enjoy the bejeebers out of it!

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you too are feeling like more fun is needed in your day to day. I feel ya. I do. I do. Maybe we should order some silly string and just have silly string parties for the heck of it?!

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Sep

2025

How to Make More Room for Fun When Life Becomes All Go-Go-Go

Posted on September 28, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

My life has been go-go-go-getter-done. By choice. By necessity. By things out of my control. The weekends come when my kids are with their dad and my brain goes, “alright Sheila, GO. What can you get done? What do you need to get done so you can be more present when the kids come home?” Or even weekends when the kids are with me. Saturday morning hits, even Sunday, any my brain seems a mostly empty schedule and goes, “Yes.

A day to get the 1,000 things I legit need to get done to keep this family going to where it wants to be and how it wants to feel.” Yesterday, as I drove home from my son’s football game, ready to move furniture out of the pod in preparation for the last bit of the renovation, I realized: “Time out. It’s okay to go-go-go-getter-done when that is the season and that it was life demands. It happens. (Say it with me, gray happens….) BUT girl… you are not having any fun lately.

I laughed at the memories that came back with each song. Like one that was my college boyfriend and I liked…that came on when this younger girl was hitting on him, right in front of me. Oh the good ‘ole days. Or better yet, and good luck not singing this one, “Good Riddance” by Green Day. The lyrics are my theme song for life lately and are very. “Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road/ Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go/ So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why/ It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time/ …

It’s something unpredictable/ But in the end, it’s right/ I hope you had the time of your life” YES. Love these lyrics and loved hearing them yesterday. My life is a test right now. Lots of challenges. Lots of obstacles. Lots of gray BUT how I reply, how I respond, or how I react is the real challenge, the real test.

When gray happens, it can define us. Been there, done that, don’t strongly recommended it -or- When gray happens, it can guide us by showing us what matters most to us and helping us find our ways there. -or- When gray happens, it can knock us down entirely, become our outlook, our everything and we miss out on all the other colors of life. Again, Been there, done that, don’t strongly recommended it -or- When Gray Happens, it can happens (as it darn well do no matter what) BUT we can happen too.

But they work is worth it. So today, this Sunday, I encourage you to ask yourself if you are having as much fun as you want? If the gray is way too overbearing (how dare it!) how you can add some fun to the day so it feels lighter? I’m about to do more housework. Not my ideal way to spend a gorgeous, sunny 80 September day, BUT I’m telling myself to stay focused so I can get it all done by noon so I can do the fun – sit on my tuckus and just enjoy the sunshine.

What about you? What are your plans today? If nothing, create them right now. Share them with us to keep yourself accountable. Make today fun. Laugh. Smile. Relax. Enjoy the bejeebers out of it!

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Sep

2025

The Five Words I Keep Journaling Until I Actually Listen

Posted on September 17, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

I kept coming back to the same three thoughts yesterday. I sat outside, journaling in hopes of finding clarity. Sometimes when I journal, I give myself prompts, questions, to help guide me and uncover how I’m really feeling. Other times, I just write and see what comes out.

Yesterday, the same words kept coming out. Thinking I should start listening to them and I don’t know, do something to act on them?! Those words were: Live. Lighter. Help. Regret. Give.

I want to wake up excited that my day holds opportunities to give and help others, especially those who have been in my shoes; especially those who feel unseen, misunderstood, alone and doubting if it will get better or if they will get through the day. (News splash…it will and you will, it just might not be wrapped up in a pretty, perfect, package and just as you expected.) I want to wake up and know that I am going to really live – live fully, live freely; live aligned and live alive.

No more going through the day just taking random steps or doing what I think I should do. Nope.
I want to take intentional steps as often as possible because I remember what matters to me.
I want to take steps that take me towards the life I want to live and the me I want to be.
I want to go through the day feeling light because I didn’t let the weight of the day get to me or hold me back and especially not weigh me day.
I want to go to sleep without feeling shame or regret.
I don’t want to feel shame for how I acted; towards others, towards myself, towards my goals.
I don’t want to regret not being present because of how I acted (or didn’t act.)
It’s a tall order, all of these things. But is it? I don’t think it actually is. We can’t get to where we want to be without knowing where we want to go. This is where I want to go.

This is how I want to start my day, go through my day and end my day. Oh, and I want to do it all with the knowledge that it won’t always go this way, not even close. Nope. Not even close.

So I also want to go through the day with the reminder to just go with the flow, the best I can, knowing that the ups and downs, the grays and oranges, are all part of the day. And, I want to go through the day with a little nudge in my side reminding me of all of this because I keep forgetting it!!! For real. I keep friggin’ forgetting what matters to me. My mind is so overwhelmed and on overdrive and on automatic that I just go and don’t stop and audit and remember to ask…

WAIT. Is that what I want? Is this where I want to be? Is this moving me towards where I want to go? I don’t forget because I’m broken. And no, perimenopause and my ADHD aren’t helping. Neither are the demands of life.

But honestly, I forget because I’m human and it is easy to forget if I don’t make remembering a priority. LOL. Oh the irony. I have to remember to remember…what matters. OOF. As if. SO yeah. Working on a way to do just that.

Because I’m tired of ending the day and thinking, wondering, wtf?! Where did the day go? Was it a good day? Do I feel good about the day?

Because I’m tired of ending the day and feeling…yet again…like I’m not seizing the day, seizing the time I have with myself, my family, this life. I’m not talking hustle culture ladies. I’m talking heart-led culture. I’m talking following my heart to live the life I know I want and that is okay to want. There is so much unspoken pressure to not say, to not feel, that we want more.

Well, I want more. Not more things, but more from my day and from myself. I’m okay saying that. I need to say it more. In fact, I want to yell it from the roof tops. I don’t want to settle and just walk like a robot through my days. I want to skip. I want to jump. I want to twirl. I want to sit when I need to, when I want to. I don’t want to be on autopilot with shame or regret in the passenger seats. I want to be really connected to my goals and what matters to me, personally, professionally and as a parent.

I don’t want to lose sight of those goals. I want them to drive my day. Period. And I know I have to start standing stronger in that voice if I want to get out of autopilot. I have to stop feeling ashamed for wanting more and for having goals. It is absolutely okay to feel this way! I used to yell at my kids too much. I used to yell at myself too much. I still yell a little bit at all of us…always a work in progress, far from perfect.

But now, now I’m going to yell, as in to speak loudly, about what matters to me, so I hear loud and clear, and don’t forget. At least that is my goal;) –> What about you? –>What would you yell about, loud and clearly so you don’t forget?! –>What matters most to you that keeps getting pushed aside? Need help remembering? Just know that as you ponder these questions, you aren’t the only one wondering or struggling with them…and I’m not just talking about me!

Lots of us are. Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if this post hit a loving, sore nerve. Thinking of you extra. Tell me how I can help you, for real.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Sep

2025

Feeling Lost Can Also Mean You’re Ready for Something New

Posted on September 12, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

Here’s the thing –> I feel lost, alone and even dare I say empty sometimes. BUT… Here’s the other thing –> I realized just the other day that while these feelings can be heavy and oh so not fun, they are also kinda beautiful and exciting. Hear me out. Follow my lovely brain around as it connects random dots, as it does so well. Let’s start from the top with the feeling lost, alone and even dare I say empty sometimes.

When I was in high school, I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I had plans. Direction. I wanted to work in the nonprofit sector. I didn’t want to go to a liberal arts college. I didn’t really want to go to a business school but I realized that would give me the skills I needed to someday manage a nonprofit company.

So off I went. When I was in college, my plans changed a bit. I still knew what I wanted though. I had a vision, I had goals, I had plans. I felt grounded and I knew where I belonged and where I was. I knew who I was. I was far from lost.

When I graduated college and started my first job, which while it wasn’t in the nonprofit world, it did give me the skills I would need and allowed me to do nonprofit fundraising as part of it (saweeet), I still felt like I knew who I was and where I was going. I even knew who I wanted to be outside of work. I wanted to be a wife. I wanted to be a mom. Eventually I got married. Eventually we decided to move from New Jersey to North Carolina.

And eventually I got pregnant and I became a mom. It didn’t make sense for me to work for lots and lots of reasons. It was the right choice then. And continued to be with each son that was born thereafter.

But as each son was born, and each year that passed, somehow I started to feel more and more lost. I wasn’t used to having free time. I sure as heck didn’t really have it when I worked! And when I was in college and not working, I was working towards a goal and well now, now, I didn’t really have goals except get through the day. –>Who was I? What were my hobbies? What made me happy besides being a mom? I wasn’t used to not having goals.

Sure I had goals like “get kiddo to nap and hope he naps” and “get other kiddo to try new food and hope it isn’t sprayed across the room” and “get other kiddo to go pee in the potty and not on the floor.” But I didn’t have personal goals. Career goals. I’m a goal oriented person. Growth oriented. –>Where was I going? –>What do I want? –>How do I really feel about my life? I wasn’t used to asking all of these questions to myself…by myself, more and more often.

I had friends but as the years passed, my friend group got smaller and smaller. The divorce didn’t help. My kids going to different schools didn’t help. Life happening, didn’t help. Me having more kids than others, didn’t help. Me having kids with a little more energy than others, didn’t help.

So yes, as the years have passed, I have felt more lost, and more alone, and put them together and that has brought out feelings of emptiness at times. In the last month these feelings have surfaced. I’ve been so busy with getting my kid off to college and working on the home renovation that I’ve isolated myself. It hasn’t been intentional. Just reality.

Okay, and I could do a lot better about reaching out! And well, I’m struggling with the direction of my business. I thought for sure I knew where I was going and what I wanted, but I am doubting it and wondering if it will succeed. Lost. Lonely. And a little empty. At times. It happens. Gray Happens. It’s temporary. I know these feelings will pass. AND ALSO. They aren’t all that I’m feeling and there is an upside to them.

This is the dot…connecting part:) We are getting floors redone this week. The kitchen needed an entirely new floor because of 1,000 problems. Sweet. Long time coming to be honest.

But, we also moved one wall to create a pantry and a small office so other rooms needed weaving in of new wood. So the project became bigger than planned, because of course.

So anywho, I walked into the dining room the other day. It was physically EMPTY. Days before, it had been full of our temporary kitchen items. Days before, it had been full of our family, laughing, bickering, living.

Now it was EMPTY and yet…and yet…it wasn’t a bad thing, but it was… so PEACEFUL. so BEAUTIFUL. so INVITING. I had to sit down and take it in.

Okay, yes, it was sad at first. It reminded me of the first time my ex and I bought the home and moved in. The heaviness rolled in. Had I felt LOST? yes, a little. Had I felt LONELY? yes, a little. Was I kinda feeling that right now? Yeah, a little.

But also…how did I feel no longer carrying the weight of a marriage that wasn’t fulfilling, that wasn’t working? And how do I feel pursuing a company even though I feel lost?! LIGHTER a lot lighter. Lost, Lonely AND also LIGHTER all at the same time. Just like the room. It looked a little lost and lonely with no one and nothing in it but also…it was so much lighter and brighter! I quickly moved from the heavy feelings to seeing Opportunity.

It was like a big blank canvas. –> What would it look like next? –> How would I decorate it when the floor was re-done and we moved furniture back in? It was EMPTY but also EXCITING, promising. Every emotion has an equal and opposite emotion.

Okay, maybe not exactly, but that sounded good;) But it is close to the sentiment I am going for and I know you know what I mean. Somehow this empty, lost and lonely room, with its beautifully soft, sanded floor helped me to remember that.

So yes, I’m feeling a little lost, a little lonely and even a little empty right now as I try to find my way BUT I am reminded that isn’t all I’m feeling. I’m feeling lighter and excited too. And hopeful. HopeFULL. Both/and. Gray/Orange. What about you? How are you feeling these days? These months?

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you are struggling to feel lighter and excited these days. I get the struggle. It isn’t always easy to see both/and. In fact some days it is outright impossible. That’s okay. I hope it passes soon.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Sep

2025

When the Other Shoe Drops in College: What I Learned as a Parent

Posted on September 8, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

I’m still processing what happened yesterday. The range of emotions I feel is unreal. The event was scary, worrisome. It was also incredible, surreal, beautiful, uplifting, inspiring. It also gave me valuable insight into several things I need to do as a parent that perhaps you all already do but if not, here is your chance.

Okay, here’s what happened. First off, remember how I wrote Saturday that I was waiting for the other shoe to drop for my college freshman?

Well, it dropped. He ended up in the ER yesterday. He is fine. Why? Because of the amazing friends he has met that were raised by some amazing parents that I would love to meet. And because of an amazing school that I need to thank for having a great emergency system. My gratitude runneth over. Last January, my son had a cardiac event. It was scary to witness.

Yesterday morning, my son called to tell me about his night and again, how happy he was. I’m lucky that our relationship is strong enough that I got all the details about the night. Even the ones I didn’t want lol. More on that tomorrow. He sounded fine. We talked about how he was going to find a way to watch football that day. He hounded me for the Verizon password and yada yada. Two hours later he called telling me he didn’t feel well.

He was exhausted. He felt like his heart was racing. I told him to not drink any caffeine that day, but lots of water. To rest. To make sure to wear his apple watch and to check it on occasion but to not worry. That maybe he took his medicine twice by accident – that I’ve done that. It happens. He called an hour later. His heart rate was 165 when he walked. He felt hot.

“Mom did you pack me a thermometer?” Did I pack him a thermometer?

I held back my chuckle and remembered his snarky “you packed too much crap” comment when I moved him in. “Of course sweetie. It’s in your medical kit in your closet.” I said.

“Oh, by the pulse ox and my inhaler?” he asked.

“Yep.” I said, holding all loving sarcasm to myself, not the time;)

“No fever.” he said.

“Okay. Well, covid is going around. Let’s see if you spike a fever. You could be getting sick. Last time you had a cardiac event it was when you were sick. Take it easy. Call me if it gets worse or find a friend and go to the health office.” I said.

Phone rang again. “Mom. My friend and I couldn’t find the health office. My legs are weak. I can’t walk. I’m dizzy.” He said. I could tell he was about to pass out. He was practically slurring his words and barely making sense.

“Ok. Where are you?” I was oddly calm. Oddly friggin’ calm.

“My friend took me back to our dorm. We are in the lobby. He called Public Safety.” he said.

“Okay. Can you put him on the phone on speaker?” I asked, again, eerily calm. He did. I walked his friend through what he needed to do. How he needed to keep my son awake and upright. How he needed to stay with him but look around and watch for any stranger to help him.

How if he could, to call another friend to come help. He did GREAT. Great. I could tell he was nervous as my son was going in and out. Public safety showed up and drove them to Urgent Care. Urgent care eventually said he needed to go to the ER. Public safety came back and drove them the 5 min drive as Urgent Care said it would be cheaper, faster and he was stable enough. (Not sure about that looking back as his blood pressure was 158/98 when he arrived at the ER….) And then his friend called me saying that he and 4 friends had all forgone watching football and were in the waiting room with him.

Bless those kids. Be still my heart. I just can’t. My son – who struggled to have friends in high school – was surrounded by true friends…in a waiting room…on the kickoff day for football. I have no words. NONE. Parents, good job. You did good. I then had a major debate about whether or not to drive down. Do I let go? -or- Do I go? His friend asked me to come so I went. He was on the front lines so to speak and could see him.

I trusted him. Worst case I would be told to turn around and I would have had time in the car enjoying my choice of music! Friend #2 kept me updated as I drove down.

Honestly these kids. First class kids. The universe was on my side. No traffic. Perfect weather. I made it there in the shortest time ever. My son’s blood pressure was stable when I arrived and he was turning the corner thanks to IV fluids and time. The nurses and doctors were the kindest people ever. One nurse in particular. She also has a freshman in college. She validated my driving down and praised the kids for how well they did.

She talked to my son about how well he did for knowing he needed medical help and shared her experience with making a similar mistake. No shame. Just support. As it should be. Shame doesn’t leave room for learning. Shame slams the door shut real fast on any opportunity for connection and therefore learning. Beautiful, truly. Again, gratitude runneth over. And here is where I share advice, which I rarely do (at least directly) but feel moved to.

My son’s phone was at 10% by the time he got to the hospital. –> If his phone died, his friends would NOT be able to reach me because they would not have my number. Nor would the hospital be able to get the information needed to reach me. One of the scariest things about our kids being away is the “what if there is an emergency” bit. We all have “in case of emergency” in our phones…but… Do your kids’ FRIENDS have your number to call in case of emergency, especially your college kids?

I know our college kids just got there, and maybe don’t have friends yet BUT do they have 1 or 2 kids they trust enough? Does their roommate have your number to call in an emergency? Listen, I am not about bribes BUT kids “yes” us. “Yeah, yeah mom I will do it.” NO. Offer $20 to Wendy’s to have your child’s friend send proof and call you. IT MATTERS.

This applies to any kiddo with a phone, high school, middle school. Shoot. This applies to OUR friends. Do our friends have our partner’s phone numbers?! Why? My son’s phone died and his friend had my number and called to tell me what hospital he was at. I couldn’t locate him otherwise. It was one of the first things I did when I found out what was going on.

If your child takes medication, do they know the names and doses? My son was smart enough to write it down and bring it with him. (Also, WOW and I’m still in shock. Like, what?! Bravo kiddo. Bravo.) I’m going to write it all on a credit card size piece of cardstock and laminate it so he always has it. Along with his birthday and my phone number.

This was his second cardiac event. We think it was his medicine but…what if it wasn’t? If your child is over 18, do you have the necessary legal forms in place to be able to talk to doctors if needed? Luckily I did, BUT I forgot them;) Thankfully my fiancé scanned them and sent them to me.

I used Mama Bear Legal Forms. Super easy. So there you go. An uplifting Monday morning story with several nice little lessons too. I hope it made sense. I rolled in late last night and like I said, I’m still processing it all.

Today I have to figure out how to send cookies to these kiddos and find a way to let the school know how incredible their system is. And rest 😉 Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you’re worrying about your kiddos. Parenting is a lot and ain’t easy. End of story;) but even the hard moments have beautiful moments within them. Thinking of you all.

xoxo Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Aug

2025

College Move-In Is Coming — and I’m Already Grieving

Posted on August 17, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

I’m still a mess, six days later. And my son hasn’t even gone to college yet. The official move in day is Tuesday. 48 hours from now.

So, um, yeah. How about no?! Ugh, I just choked up…again. This isn’t far off from how I felt a year ago when I received the big manilla envelope from the high school about all the things “Senior” year related, like ordering a cap and gown. The anticipation of the year to come was brutal. It was a wake up call that time was going too fast. Too, too fast. It made me stop and think, “shoot, did I do a good job?” And not, “did I do a good job teaching him” but did I do a good job being the mom I wanted to be?!

Did I live up to my ideals, goals, dreams? Or am I filled with regret?! And there’s the pit in my stomach…again. Sending a kid to college is hard. Full stop. Period. Whether it’s the first time, the last time, whether it is your child or grandchild, it is hard. It. Is. Hard. This post though is also for anyone who isn’t sending a kid off to school…but is close or remembers college life themselves. This post is simply for anyone feeling the grays in life right now and feeling how this monumental milestone that we all see everywhere (every single store is screaming college!) is about a heck of a lot more than college.

It’s a friggin’ wake up call, forcing one to take stock in their life. And now I know why my gut called this month, “Au-dit-gust.” Blech. Do know, this is not a rah-rah, you’re going to be okay post. I don’t do toxic positivity around here. Nope. Not how I roll. I face the hard, the gray, the REAL tough and not-so-tough feelings head on. Otherwise they knock me down even further and getting up and getting going is that much harder. (And that isn’t even taking into account my joints or lack of flexibility these days) I don’t have time to be knocked down more than I already am, please and thank you.

I’ve got packing to do…so that I feel reassured my child is taken care of. I’ve got pictures to print…so that I feel confident I’ve set my child up in a space that feels like home. I’ve got letters to write…so that I feel satisfied that I’ve said all I want to say, mostly, “I’m so friggin’ proud of you and I love you. Have fun. I’m always here.

Also, don’t forget to return my texts or I’m showing up and will embarrass you.” I’ve got administrative crud to do…so that I feel content knowing I did my last job in this stage and my child can focus on adjusting. I’ve got moments to cherish the best I can…so that I don’t feel the weight of regret, which is a beast. I’ve got things to do so I feel the best I can in a hard situation. I don’t have time to pretend my feelings aren’t real and aren’t happening.

Ironic, right? So many people tell us to stuff our feelings and move forward. I agree with the moving forward – but not if stuff is not processed or at least seen and acknowledged. Moving forward will be a wicked workout instead of a walk in the park.

So here I am. Seeing all of you and the comments you wrote on my post about my firstborn going to college. I’m humbled by the attention the post received. As a “writer” I should be ecstatic. Want to know something? I’m not. I’m sad, heartbroken actually (and not just because of my kiddo going off to college officially, officially on Tuesday.) My post resonated for lots of reasons, but a few are because so many of us, too many of us, don’t feel fully seen -or- don’t feel fully free to express all the feels we feel -or- don’t know feel fully supported, but instead pressured to find the positive, feel better already, and just move on.

And this breaks my heart. I know how it feels to go through hard times alone. I know how it feels to have to bite one’s tongue, hold their feelings back, pretend everything is okay. I know how it feels to be misunderstood, judged, ridiculed for feeling fully. and I know how it feels to feel all the feels and wonder, how, how will I feel better and when will I feel better? It just doesn’t feel great and I wish, I wish we didn’t feel this way.

But…feeling sad happens….feeling lonely happens….feeling worried, overwhelmed, scared happens. and…feeling unsupported and misunderstood, sadly, happens.

But it doesn’t have to happen totally alone. All this to say, I see you all. I’m not joking when I say I wish I could be with you all in this moment and let you just be real. Let you feel seen.

But I can’t. Like I said, I’ve got packing to do 😉 So here’s what I’m thinking. This is what WE are all going to do, if we can.

We are not going to hide. We are going to keep feeling all the feels out loud, here, so others can see and not feel alone. This will bring comfort to so many. And if we have the strength, we will reply to another comment to show love and support and to spread warmth.
When we are out and about, if we see someone who has that same look we saw when we looked in the mirror this morning – maybe puffy eyes, maybe sheer exhaustion, maybe a sense of loss – we are going to share a gentle, loving smile. Maybe a tissue (lol, if we have one to spare.)
We are going to keep sharing the heck out of the post in the comments (about my firstborn going to college.) Not because I want it to go viral (lol, kinda busy right now for this to happen, but my son is THRILLED) but because it is clear that people need it.

They need to know they don’t have to rush through their emotions right now. They need to know they aren’t broken. They need to know they are surrounded by others who get it. We all need each other – in person and virtually. Let’s lift each other up, the Orange Rhino style. With compassion, understanding, and real, honest to goodness, vulnerability.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you are in the hard right now with me. I have so many more thoughts. They will be pouring out all week.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Aug

2025

Perimenopause According to My 14-Year-Old: The Conversation That Made Me Cry Laughing

Posted on August 13, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

I had the best laugh with my 14 year old last night and I have to share it. I am beyond sure you are all going to appreciate it.

Now, this conversation happened out of curiosity and everything was said with love, earnest, and well let’s face it pure honesty, gosh darn truth and genius. If you are in perimenopause or menopause, get ready to chuckle. A little back story.

Recently, one of my sons asked me why I cry so much lately. Another one nodded and said, “yeah mom, like seriously, what’s going on? Are you, like, all depressed or something?”

I explained to them the obvious – that I’m sad with their old brother going to college – but also that I’m going through perimenopause and a lot of physical changes are happening along with my hormones (like theirs) being all sorts of out of whack. I said this means I also cry a heck of a lot easier, sometimes I’m a little less energetic or down – not depressed, just down – and that I’m indeed a little bit snappier.

All that to say… Two nights ago, as I washed the dishes in pure silence (yes, it was beautiful and yes, I was far from complaining that I was doing it by myself, again, pure silence!) my 14 year old wandered into the kitchen. I don’t think I had been particularly moody that day or had cried a lot; at least not in front of him. I guess I was wrong. “So mom, how long does this menopause thing last?” he asked sweetly.

“Oh, I don’t know, a couple of years, I’ve heard. At least five of having full blown symptoms.” I replied. (I picked an easy, low answer. I didn’t want to, you know, scare the crap out of him)

“I see. And what exact year are you in?” He asked, again, in all seriousness.

I chuckled. “Oh sweetie, THAT IS THE BEST PART! I have no idea!! I could be in year 1, year 2, year 0 of 10. Isn’t this fun?! Oh and by the way, I’m actually in perimenopause which is the phase before menopause.” I replied, again laughing.

I didn’t take offense. What else can I do but laugh?! He looked at me and said as deadpan as can be, “Wait. So this mood of yours, like, we’re stuck with it for five more years?!”

I laughed and honestly, I really haven’t been that awful. “YEP! But I’m doing my best to manage it. Don’t forget, I’m also under extra stress with your brother heading out and running the house renovation. It’s gonna get better. Promise.”

“Uh huh. Yeah.”

As he walked away, I yelled after him, “Sweetie, don’t forget, I’m not in menopause, I’m in my METAMORPHOSIS!” The other night, this sweet child had accidentally called menopause metamorphosis when he couldn’t remember the word (he flips words around just like me.) And honestly, is that not the BEST mistake ever?!!!

Heck yes I am in a metamorphosis!!! I’m trapped inside a frigging (cold for me, hot for many of you) cocoon and transforming into a new version of me that is going to fly freer than EVER when I bust out. I’m coming out more colorful than before. I inched my way in because I wasn’t living my fully authentic self and was weighed down, but now?

Now that I am living more and more of who I want to be? And following my heart more? Oh, oh heck yes I am in a metamorphosis and transforming into the best version of myself. Bring. It. On. When Gray Happens we go there and add a splash of color to brighten it up! You know, years ago, I made a gray rhino orange. That was my first metamorphosis 😉 I decided to transform from charging when frustrated, overwhelmed, worried and well, angry to responding with warmth.

Gray–>Orange. And now, now I am more than ever paying attention to that transformation because perimenopause is indeed – as my son clearly has noticed – making me a little crankier 😉 Anywho, I hope these two little stories made you smile. They will always make me chuckle. Kids, teens, they say the darndest things. How goes your metamorphosis?!

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if today is feeling more inching forward than flying free.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Aug

2025

Sending a Child to College: The Excitement, Grief and Everything in Between

Posted on August 11, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

Here’s the thing –> I’m a mess. I know I’m not the only one here sending a child off to college for the first time. This post isn’t just for those of us in these shoes. It’s for anyone feeling all the feels except for the one of being able to freely share that they are. Maybe I’m the only one feeling this way and if that’s the case, well, alrighty then. I don’t think it is though. I think there is a lot of subconscious messaging out there that leads people to not fully share how they are really feeling because they worry it won’t be received well, won’t be understood, will make them excluded, will make them feel broken or even more alone.

Again, maybe it’s just me and my past traumas and life experiences speaking…but I don’t think so. For whatever reason, I feel like I have to put on a brave face and pretend everything is honky dory right now, or at least mostly honky dory, as I prepare to send my firstborn off to his Freshman year. Social media is flooded with sentiments around “it will be okay” in regards to first children going off to college for the first time.

I know that, but right now? Right now, I’m not there. Right now, I have more worry than feelings of ease. I’m inundated with inspirational messages about how hard it is, but that I’ll get through it. Or there are messages of: I know how hard it is and here’s advice. These are great messages; helpful, beautiful, SPOT ON ACCURATE.

But right now? I’m full of overwhelm, doubt. My child isn’t even on campus so I can’t even think that far ahead. And also, right now? I don’t want that. I just want the messages to stop at, “It’s hard.” Or at least be followed by something along the lines of, Hey reader, I see you. I know you are feeling all sorts of feelings around your oldest child going to college for the first time. You are both excited for the fun you know they will have…but also worried that wait, maybe they won’t?

You know everyone takes a while to make new friends and really find a groove, and that it does work out…but also, what if it takes too long and turns into real homesickness? Or what if, what if they don’t find their people and it’s a repeat of high school? You know you have done your best raising them and teaching them about the ins and outs of the world, how to be street smart and book smart…but also, what happens when push comes to shove and it’s the new environment when peer pressure is a beast?

What then? You know you will both rise to the occasion, work through the challenge, and that your child will learn from it and that it is part of the experience…but also, UGH it isn’t fun, and also, what if, what if?! You know they have picked a great school, a great match for them and you feel so confident they will be taken care of…but also, gosh, darnit, you are going to miss them so much. So. Very. Very. Much.

How are you going to keep going at home for your other kiddos when you are missing one so much? You know this isn’t forever, that they will be home for breaks and summer vacations but also…you know this is a massive change in the way life looks moving forward, that this is the beginning of a major shift in the makeup of the home and vacations overall and that is hard as heck. How do vacations look in the future, especially as a divorced family?

You know it will all be okay at some point, that you will be okay through it all and also will be okay at some point…but also, but also… Can I please just feel all the feels right now and not have to feel better right now? Can I not pretend? Can I be real? Can we not say how hard and bittersweet it is, even though we know the future is also beautiful…and also bittersweet? Why do we always have to sugarcoat?!

Sometimes the best way to help someone feel better is to simply meet them where they are at and to STAY THERE in that feeling without moving them through it right then and there. I am not looking to wallow. I am not looking to stay stuck. I just need to admit that this shite is HARD and I’m feeling so many frigging emotions – and not because of perimenopause but because this transition is GARGANTUAN and it deserves the full acknowledgement as such.

I’m excited for all the experiences and friends and memories to be made…I’m sad because my buddy won’t be flashing his smile at me daily or his smirk when I make a bad mom joke; but facetime is a good replacement. I’m confident in the school and my son’s ability to figure things out…and I’m nervous for the transition, the skills that aren’t there, the challenges that I do know will happen. I’m overwhelmed because there is still much to do and I’m reassured because there is always Amazon and Target after the fact.

I’m all sorts of everything. And if you are too, I see you. I’m standing right there with you in the moment and staying there with you.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially, especially if you are feeling for whatever reason that you can’t fully express yourself or feel all the feels. I get it.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Aug

2025

Perimenopause Brain Fog and Decision Fatigue Are a Brutal Combination

Posted on August 8, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

Talk to me! My brain power is non-existent between perimenopause, focusing on my kid going to college, renovation questions etc… but I need to make a decision. Yeah, not going so well.

So I’m crowdsourcing with the best of the best – you! I’m working on updating my website (super excited for it by the way) and I need to decide on the statement/sentiment that people read first. Imagine this. You are new to the Orange Rhino (and you are also you!) Chances are you have landed on the website (or Facebook page) and are having a typical day which means maybe a wee bit overwhelming in spots, definitely a little lonely at times, and you are totally feeling the vibe that “Gray Happens.” Or maybe you are having a perfect day in which case, awesomesauce. What do you want to read to feel a little bit better?

To help you keep going and not get stuck and ruminate and go to the land of blech? BETTER SAID…you are having an eh day. You run into a friend. What do you want her to say to you to make you feel a little bit better? Do you want her to say something that is uplifting, encouraging and gives a sense of how things will be? -OR- Do you want her to say something that meets you where you are at? That makes you feel seen and understood?

-OR- A combination of both? Talk to me. What kind of message would you want to hear first and foremost? How do you want to feel when you land on The Orange Rhino? What wonderful words has a friend said to you that you wish you heard on repeat on the hard days, even the good days? I have a few months to make my dream happen or I am heading to an office job…which isn’t the end of the world but I would so much rather make this place my job!

Thank you, as always. I know this isn’t a typical post, but it’s where I am. STUCK and lacking brain power and unable to make a decision. Pretty sure that is relatable. Sending my warmth to go with your strength, especially if you too are feeling stuck today and out of brain power!

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino