The Fortune Cookie That Made Me Laugh on a Terrible Day

I almost spit out my wonton soup. We don’t wait until dinner is over to open our fortune cookies. I know, I know. Dinner first, dessert afterward. Whatever. Chinese food is awesome, but the fortune is the best part. And Saturday night’s fortune was priceless. Quick rewind. Saturday was beyond a shite storm. I returned from vacation to life beyond life’ing. All vacation vibes were gone within hours. Isn’t it fun when that happens?!

Some “highlights.” Flight was delayed so we got home at midnight. Woke up late to rush and pick up a sick dog at 8 am. Kids came home early (which is great, I just wasn’t ready for them.) And an ER vet visit at 10:30 pm. WOO HOO! Fun times! Between the kids coming home and the ER vet visit, it was dinner time.

But because of the flash floods and our sick Hope, we hadn’t made it to the grocery store. And with the rain, my honest-to-goodness exhaustion, and lack of shower, I had zero desire to go to any restaurant.

But we had to eat. And I (and a few teens I happen to know) were HANGRY! So we ordered Chinese food and I crossed every finger that some lovely soul would be willing to deliver food in this rain. And yes, all of these seemingly irrelevant previous details matter. Why? I was spent. Kaput. Total gonzer. Vacation away from my home had been great.

But I always struggle on vacation with the pull between relaxing and catching up. Divorce has plenty of curses and a few hidden blessings. Oh, hello there, gray and orange! One of those blessings is occasionally having a week when my kids are away and I can truly choose how to use my time.

And I want to utilize the heck out of it. I want to 1000% soak up the quiet and the ability to do whatever the heck it is I want, or need.

But sometimes what I want and need doesn’t look like traditional self-care. It isn’t always walking on the beach, reading a book, or enjoying the quiet. Sometimes getting something done is what helps me feel better. I had plans to work on well, work;) I had plans to read a few educational books on subjects I’ve been wanting to learn about. I had plans to be productive. Self-care has lots of forms. I didn’t check a lot of the boxes.

I checked some on my vacation, but not a lot. I came home relaxed, yet also a little disappointed in all I didn’t get done in my week off.

And then stress kicked up 1,000 notches with all the gray that happened. So here I was. At the kitchen table. Relaxed from vacation, but not totally. And stressed from the day’s gray happenings.

And I opened my fortune cookie. And I almost spit out my wonton soup. I couldn’t even read it out loud. So my son did. It said, and I shite you not, “Invest in quality self-care products.” Oh, okay, let me get right on that. Oh wait, I already had. After I swallowed my soup, I admit it, I laughed. The irony was so good. So, so good. Just as good as the meal I did not cook and the plates I did not clean. That was the self-care I purchased that day. What non-traditional self-care are you doing today? Sending warmth to you today, especially if surviving shite storms are currently your speciality as well. Solidarity my friends, solidarity.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Why I Miss Chit-Chat With Friends More Than I Expected

I miss having more time chatting with friends. Whether it’s about the weather, celebrity gossip, personal challenges, whatnot, I miss having that connection outside of my family. No offense to my family, of course. I love them. It’s just that chit chatting with friends and other non-family people lands differently, you know? Lately, I’ve been having the same talk with my sons. Not about chatting with friends, but about how no one can really read minds, especially when it comes to communicating.

How assuming makes an arse out of you and me. How sharing what’s on our minds, respectfully, is often a good thing to do. –> That the biggest loss and risk is doing nothing and remaining uncomfortable, unhappy, wanting change. And yet…here I am, not taking my own advice! It made me laugh out loud yesterday as I walked alone on a beach filled with people. It. Was. Awesome. What I haven’t been fully direct about? Why I want to do these Thursday chit chats so badly.

It’s simple. I know how hard it is for me—and I’m guessing for you—to schedule time with friends. And while I know chit chatting on the internet in a Facebook community isn’t the same as chit chatting in a corner booth at a restaurant, I think it is a great start.

Because I miss my friends and I miss the chit chatting. The laughter that follows. The “uh-huhs” and the “yep, me too” and the inevitable tears that quietly fall that you didn’t know you were keeping inside. I know we are all busy. I know how hard it is to have a phone call longer than five minutes in the car between drop-offs or errands. I know how hard it is to make dinner dates happen, and I, for one, really, really miss those times.

When my kids were younger, it was so much easier for me to go out for dinner with my friends every once in a while. And my gosh, those were some of the best times. Even if we didn’t go out but had a girls’ night in. They got me through the long days of parenting younger kiddos. The connection and the laughter were the escape from the day in, day out of being a mom. Whether we talked about the mundane. The celebrity gossip.

What troubled us. What mystified us. Whatever was on our minds. Those times with friends were golden. Are golden. Because friends? They get you on a different level than family. Friends? They have things in common with you that family doesn’t. Friends? They can make you laugh, feel seen and get you through the day in a different way. Now?

Now it is hard to get those times. Whether at night, during the day or in the car. Schedules are busier. After dinner is busier. There always seems to be a kid with an appointment. I’m always having to cancel, hop off the phone or leave early. I take responsibility for not having enough of these connection points right now. I do my best to plan and follow through, but I fall short sometimes. SO anyway, I really would love to be here once a week to just get us all chit chatting with each other, you know, back and forth like friends.

The Orange Rhino Chit Chats. Maybe we swap recipes. Share favorite new pages we follow—instead of TV shows because I hardly watch TV anymore, to be honest. Share what made us laugh this week. Whatever we chit chat about, at the end of the day, hopefully we all feel just a little bit better. Less alone. More connected. Maybe more normal, whatever that means, because heck knows I am not normal.;) I’ve picked Thursdays because, well, we survived good ol’ Hump Day Wednesday.

We need a boost to make it through the end of the week and then through the weekend. I think we can have some really great chit chats filled with: “OMG, me too!” “I didn’t know that. That’s awesome!” And… “I peed my pants, I laughed so hard.” Okay, maybe that wouldn’t be you.

But it might definitely be me lol. Thursdays can be something to look forward to. To keep checking in on throughout the day as a connection point, a touch point. A little (big) boost amidst all of life’s day-to-day heaviness. I know, this is also the goal of everyday here. I’m hoping Thursday is guaranteed a little lighter and also where you all give me ideas and specific requests on something you would like to chat about.

We’ve had two chit-chats the past two Thursdays, but I’m calling today the first official one. Because, why not?! I’m keeping it light and asking about something many of us do every day anyway: Scroll. (Wait, that is kinda not so light, is it? I know many of us wish we scrolled less.

Okay. This might actually make it better!) What pages are making your scrolling time better? More worthwhile? Easier to hop off scrolling and not get sucked in? I need some new pages to follow. I don’t really watch TV except for The Mentalist with my son and Hallmark Christmas movies in the winter. And I’ll catch The Devil Wears Prada 2 when it streams.

So my equivalent is scrolling. Which I think is the same for many of us. But I want my scrolling to be intentional, you know? Value added. I want the pages and posts that pop up for me to make me smile or teach me something I’m interested in or make me feel good about myself. I’m into organizing, the beach—obviously—cooking, neuroscience and the nervous system, home design and decorating, acts of kindness, feel-good stories and laughing.

I’m trying to get away from overly toxic-positive pages—this should be of no surprise—and parenting pages that shame and preach—also should be of no surprise. Any suggestions? What are you enjoying online? Let’s do a page swap. Seriously. Like… “OMG, you have to follow this page…” BUT if you have a great TV show I have to watch that will make me chill the bleep out at night because it is soooo good, I’ll take that too!

And, if you have any questions or topics you want to chit chat about on Thursdays, share those too:) Sending warmth to you today, especially if you are also wanting more connection and knowing inside you that you are partially responsible for it not happening. I feel ya. Let’s chat here today:)

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino