Tag Archives: Courage

When Your College Kid Calls Upset: How to Listen Without Fixing Everything

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Your college kid calls upset. You hear their voice on the phone. And you hear all the other voices in your head. The voices reminding you of how you’re supposed to respond.

Let them vent.
Let them share.
Let them be.
Let them fly.

The voices in your head remind you this is their chance to grow. To learn. That’s it’s okay to hurt. That they will heal and come out stronger, wiser. As you listen, you hear it. You hear their hurt. You hear their frustration. You hear their fear. And oh, do you feel it.

You feel it so very deeply.
And you want to give them advice. You really do.

Because you see the path to feeling better. Faster. Easier. With so much less pain. But you know that easing their pain today, right now, can just create more pain in the future. You know that letting them figure things out now, even though it hurts, might actually help them hurt less later.

And so you bite your tongue. And you fight like heck to hide your own pain.
To sound confident in their ability to figure things out.
To not sound concerned.

And you struggle right along with them because this is not easy. In the moment, their pain is your pain. You hurt with them. Oh, do you ever. And you worry right alongside them.

But you don’t offer advice. And you don’t ask leading questions. And you don’t dig for more hard stuff.

You offer love.
You offer a soft landing place.
You offer “uh huhs” and “oh, that’s hard” and “I’m here for you.”

And then you offer to make homemade chocolate chip cookies even though you simply do not have the time.

Because that is all you can do to make them actually feel better. And then you think, not to them or of them, but to yourself:

Who is making me chocolate chip cookies to help me feel better?

Because this stage of parenting? Honestly? It can be brutal.

He is okay, to be clear. This wasn’t a crisis. Just one of those tough, emotional, figure-it-out moments that comes with being away at college. Having our college-aged kids, especially our freshmen, far away from us, struggling, and not knowing which adults in their life are there to support them, guide them, help them find the answers they need? B.R.U.T.A.L. The letting go here is an incredible act of strength.

Of course I will lean in when I have to.
But I will also let my kiddo fumble a little.
I have to. It is part of this stage. This journey. His journey.

And also? My kiddo wants to. He is in his independent era. We have returned to the “I do” phase. Except now it’s a more complete sentence, not that of a toddler.

It’s: “I got it, Mom.”
I know you do, kiddo. I know you do.

He sent me this text last night:
“Good night. Love you. Thanks for the support (even though I keep denying I need it or want it. When I’m ready I’ll ask for it. Let me know when the cookies are coming.)”

Ooof. That hit hard and heavy in a wonderful way. That’s the whole ache of this stage. Being needed in a whole new way. A quieter way. A farther away way. Not to fix. Not to solve. Just to stay close enough that they know you’re still there.

Sending my warmth and a little oomph to you all this Monday morning.
You are all loved and appreciated, near and far.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

How Do You Find Your Voice Again After Years of Turning It Down?

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“How do you start turning up your own voice when it feels like it’s been turned down so much you can barely hear it anymore?” That question came from a fellow Orange Rhino. And my heart skipped a beat when I read it because… that was me. Circa 2016 until… well… still working on it. For years I slowly turned my own volume down. Pushing my thoughts down. Pushing my feelings down.

Meanwhile the “you’re not…” voices (fill in the blank with any doubting thought) got louder and louder. And the antenna of my intuition? It went from strong and upright… to bent and quiet. (cue: tears) Those weren’t fun years. In trying not to feel pain, I created more of it. I made decisions that honored others but ignored what my gut knew to be true.

And the outcomes almost always disappointed me. I took forever to make decisions because I forgot how to trust myself. I forgot how to believe in my abilities.

So I stayed stuck. Stuck feeling blech. Stuck living a life shaped by decisions that didn’t quite feel like me. And the self-doubt only grew because I kept asking myself: “Why don’t I trust myself?” “Why don’t I listen to myself anymore?” So yes. That question hit a nerve. A beautiful one. My friend, the answer is this: You start slowly. With love. With patience. And with the understanding that you won’t always get it right.

But over time, you get better. And that practice? That is getting it right. During my kitchen renovation there was a major mistake coming. I saw it before it even happened.

But my voice? I quieted it (and paid for it later. Sigh.) “Nah… trust the professionals,” I told myself. Right. Trust the professionals.

But here’s the thing I finally realized: I am the professional of my inner instincts. Of my feelings. Of the quiet voice inside trying to speak up.

When the renovation was finished, major mistake corrected, I stood in my cozy, bright white kitchen that I loved. I admired all the little details I had been told not to do.

And I said to myself: “You did this. You did this by listening to yourself.” I remember calling my mom and saying, “And you know what mom? I designed it. When am I going to start listening to myself more? Trusting my abilities again? Seeing what I’m capable of?” I wasn’t bragging. I was having a breakthrough.

So how do you start turning your voice back up and having your own breakthrough? You PR (don’t ask how my brain came up with that, but honestly, perfect here!) Practice. Reflect. Praise. Record. Patiently Repeat. Practice by showing up for yourself and trying to listen. It might be small. “I want tacos for dinner.” So… tacos it is. Reflect when something feels off. Ask yourself why. Then ask again. And again. (Often, if I’m honest, the answer hiding underneath is fear.) Praise and record the moments you do listen.

“See? I did it.” “See? I followed through.” “See? I trusted myself.” Give that quiet voice evidence. Proof that it’s getting stronger. Help it feel safe speaking up again. And most importantly… patiently repeat.

Because your voice doesn’t come back all at once. It comes back in tiny moments of trusting yourself. A decision here. A boundary there. A quiet “no.” A brave “yes.” Until one day you notice something surprising. You can hear yourself again. And you realize the voice you thought you lost? It was never missing. It was just waiting for you to start listening again. And you realize, my gosh, this feels great. Let’s start now.

What’s one thing your inner voice kept telling you… that you finally listened to — and it turned out you were right? I want to hear all about it and celebrate with you. For real.

Sending my warmth to you today and always,

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

I Miss the Old Me: How I’m Finding My Way Back to the Parts of Myself I Love

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Somedays, I miss the “old me.” The one who once wore a Shrek costume, stood in the elementary school drop-off lane, and welcomed everyone (and I mean everyone) to school. It was Halloween. I was leading the play and wanted a fun way to promote the kick-off meeting. No hesitation. No shame. Absolutely zero fear. 100% courage and “what do I have to lose?” I’ve also used to be a live auctioneer at fundraisers. I once stood in front of most of my company, mic in hand, spotlight on, and called out my Chief Marketing Officer to raise his bid.

I was 22. Maybe 23. Not even a year on the job. Talk about courage — or audacity. Your call. I still laugh at the fact that I did that. Like, seriously Sheil?! Some days I wonder where that girl has gone. (News flash: she hasn’t gone anywhere. She’s just been on vacation. Rumor has it she’s boarding the flight home. Hopefully she will stay a wee bit longer this time.) Seriously though — she’s not fully here right now, as I type out this post.

Because I’m oddly nervous. Afraid to take a very simple step. With people who aren’t even my boss. (Okay. We can call it what it is. Fear of rejection. Fear of officially taking a step forward. So…we’ll add fear of failure to that list.) So I’m borrowing a little Shrek-level boldness and auctioneer confidence and going for it.

Also known as, Orange Rhino-ness (Just came up with the word. I like it. It stays.) –> I’m looking for 5–10 women who’d be willing to help me as I prepare to wear one of my new “hats” this spring. If that sounds fun — or even mildly intriguing — and you’re willing to publicly share a photo, comment below and send me a message. That way I won’t miss it (hi, ADHD!) If more than 10 reach out, I’ll randomly choose. Happy Tuesday!

And happy me literally wearing a hat again after a week. Even if I couldn’t properly rest it on my head lol.

Sending my warmth, today and always.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Perimenopause or Just Life? Why I’m Tired of Blaming Hormones for Everything

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I’ve been getting flustered lately. Like…surprisingly easily flustered. I know, I know. Hormones. Perimenopause. What if I told you I’m tired of blaming perimenopause for everything? (lol, not just, I’m tired, that’s a given!) Hear me out.

When I was in elementary school, I had a saying. I have absolutely, positively no idea where it came from. It wasn’t my parents or a teacher. Not even a coach. I just said it one day and it stuck. “I don’t mind complaining, as long as you’re gonna do something about it. Complain to me all you want, but then you gotta act.” Apparently ten-year-old me was onto something.

Because I gotta be honest. When I keep blaming perimenopause — and then don’t actually change anything — I don’t feel better. I still feel frustrated with myself, my mood, and everything within a two foot radius. Make that one foot. And before everyone says to give myself grace (and you all know I’m all for giving myself and others grace)… I gotta be even more honest. There comes a point where giving myself grace becomes a crutch, an excuse.

I know. A little rhino tough. Hear me out again. There’s a difference between grace and avoidance. So, back to where this whole post started. Lately, I’ve been flipping out faster than I’d like. Overwhelmed in a light-switch kind of way. Fine one minute. Not fine the next. Are hormones part of it? Probably. Yes.

But I also know this: My nervous system is fried. I’m not prioritizing feeling at ease the way I could be. The caffeine isn’t helping (although my Costa Rica coffee really is excellent and is there anything better than a perfect Diet Coke, mini sized of course.) And yes, I need to make the appointment to at least explore HRT, even if the answer ends up being no for me. Hormones may be part of the story.

But they’re not the whole story. And I don’t want to shrug and just say, “oh well, there’s nothing I can do until my hormones are under control.” I don’t want to give myself a pass when I know I could be doing things to help myself. I know this is a wee bit more direct and blunt than I normally write. I’m writing them to myself with love actually — and from a place of strength. Along with these sudden mini-sized-panic attacks becoming a thing, Sheila getting her groove back is most definitely a thing.

And my spine 😉 When I started writing in 2012 about learning to yell less, I wrote without much fear. It was freeing. Then somewhere along the way, I shrank. Truly. I’ve been crawling out since 2018 ish. Last month was Fearless February. I’m going to carry that feeling all of 2026. I think you’re going to find that I’m writing a little more bluntly from here on out. It’s just so much more freeing to be less concerned with what people think 😉 and more concerned with attracting the right kind of people to this community.

I mentioned yesterday that I’ve got things in the works. I do. Like, I want 20-year-old energy Sheila who didn’t need sleep so I can easily raise my kiddos and launch my secret projects. I am *that* excited. Since that’s not happening lol, I’m gonna need a crash (a group of rhinos) behind me to make everything happen when I’m ready.

So yes, I want this place to grow. I used to be afraid to admit that. Afraid to admit that I want to take up space. Not anymore. It’s a new month, by the way. New month, new word. No fancy word this month. March speaks for itself. I’m MARCHing forward, one step at a time.

Sending my warmth to you today and always,

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

When You Feel Stuck, Unmotivated and Tired of Pep Talks

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I have two alternatives for you if you are feeling stuck. It took me this entire post to get to the second one, but hey, at least I got there!

I’m feeling stuck.
I’m having a hard time getting motivated.
I’m having a hard time making decisions.
I’m exhausted from giving myself pep talks and remembering mindset hacks.
I’m worn down from writing publicly, from being judged by an algorithm everyday and from worrying that my “being me” is “too negative, too really, not bubbly or positive enough to survive in social media.”

Being stuck is often seen as a big ‘ole negative. I know I often experience it as such. But here’s something I just realized this morning. –>What if I’m meant to be stuck right now? What if I’m struggling to move forward because the path I had set myself on was not the right path? What if my body, my brain, my everything knows that the path I have chosen is not actually the one that will bring me the most fulfillment? A life that feels the most aligned?

What if being stuck, spiraling out on some days, struggling, isn’t seen as a bad thing, but rather an okay thing, a helpful sign to stop and look closer? (You know, No-yeah-mber) What if the gray is actually a good thing? –>What if being stuck is seen as a big, bright, flashing sign that says, “HOLD ON. TIME OUT. Being stuck is simply giving you a chance to take a break, re-group, and plan your next intentional step instead of just roboting your way through life?”

Being stuck doesn’t have to stink, it is an opportunity to sit and think. Things get stuck in life for a reason (a jar lid that’s too tight, a puzzle piece that doesn’t actually fit, a car in a traffic jam because there’s just too many cars.) When stuck (gray) happens, things need patience and a little extra attention, a little extra effort, to get unstuck.

So extra patience, attention, and effort I will give to my so-called “stuckness.” I’m stuck –> I’m sitting –> I’m thinking –> I’m accepting –> I’m reflecting –> I’m realizing I will figure it out and feel a little lighter in due time. Is this easy? No. Do I feel answers bubbling to the surface? Yes. Do I think I need to quit it all and take an entirely different path? No. Do I feel like I need to adjust my focus, my energy, the balance of my time? Yeah, I do.

My heart knows the answer. I need to find a bit more courage to follow it. –> Can you relate to the last statement? Any of these statements? Which ones? Feeling stuck isn’t fun but it doesn’t have to stink and it definitely isn’t permanent. Remembering these two bits isn’t easy; nor is finding the courage to step out of it. I see you as you do all the hard work and experience the range of emotions that go with it.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you are sitting and thinking today (instead of being “stuck”)

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

How to Make More Room for Fun When Life Becomes All Go-Go-Go

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I realized something kinda major yesterday –> I’m not having as much fun as I’d like lately. Part of me wanted to wait to share this until tomorrow when more people will see this post but part of me also wants to reach who I can today because it’s Sunday and Sunday is the perfect day to receive this message. I’m *hoping* your Sunday is mostly open without work and therefore a lot of opportunity to hear this message and act accordingly.

My life has been go-go-go-getter-done. By choice. By necessity. By things out of my control. The weekends come when my kids are with their dad and my brain goes, “alright Sheila, GO. What can you get done? What do you need to get done so you can be more present when the kids come home?” Or even weekends when the kids are with me. Saturday morning hits, even Sunday, any my brain seems a mostly empty schedule and goes, “Yes. A day to get the 1,000 things I legit need to get done to keep this family going to where it wants to be and how it wants to feel.”

Yesterday, as I drove home from my son’s football game, ready to move furniture out of the pod in preparation for the last bit of the renovation, I realized: “Time out. It’s okay to go-go-go-getter-done when that is the season and that it was life demands. It happens. (Say it with me, gray happens….)

BUT girl… you are not having any fun lately.

Where’s the laughter? Where’s the smile? Where’s the joy? Where’s the enjoyment? The point was taken and my mindset was switched up. –> IT IS SO EASY to get into the habits, the rhythms, the goings of life and then to forget, to not see, that we aren’t laughing or smiling or living as much as we like, is it not?! I got my earbuds. Put on my favorite new spotify station, “90’s classics” and did all my work with a pep in my step.

I laughed at the memories that came back with each song. Like one that was my college boyfriend and I liked…that came on when this younger girl was hitting on him, right in front of me. Oh the good ‘ole days. Or better yet, and good luck not singing this one, “Good Riddance” by Green Day. The lyrics are my theme song for life lately and are very.

“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time…

It’s something unpredictable
But in the end, it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life”

YES. Love these lyrics and loved hearing them yesterday. My life is a test right now. Lots of challenges. Lots of obstacles. Lots of gray BUT how I reply, how I respond, or how I react is the real challenge, the real test.

When gray happens, it can define us. Been there, done that, don’t strongly recommended it -or- When gray happens, it can guide us by showing us what matters most to us and helping us find our ways there. -or- When gray happens, it can knock us down entirely, become our outlook, our everything and we miss out on all the other colors of life. Again, Been there, done that, don’t strongly recommended it -or- When Gray Happens, it can happens (as it darn well do no matter what) BUT we can happen too.

We Can Show Up. We can show up for ourselves..and for each other. We can show up and figure out how to get through the gray to a lighter, brighter place. We can challenge ourselves to make the gray brighter so that as we embrace it, it doesn’t feel so blech. Mindset and perspective shifts; action and reaction changes aren’t easy. Oh heck now. They take practice.

But the work is worth it. So today, I encourage you to ask yourself if you are having as much fun as you want? If the gray is way too overbearing (how dare it!) how you can add some fun to the day so it feels lighter? I’m about to do more housework. Not my ideal way to spend a gorgeous, sunny 80 September day, BUT I’m telling myself to stay focused so I can get it all done by noon so I can do the fun – sit on my tuckus and just enjoy the sunshine.

What about you? What are your plans today? If nothing, create them right now. Share them with us to keep yourself accountable. Make today fun. Laugh. Smile. Relax. Enjoy the bejeebers out of it!

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you too are feeling like more fun is needed in your day to day. I feel ya. I do. I do. Maybe we should order some silly string and just have silly string parties for the heck of it?! xoxo Sheila.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Doing the Scary Thing Anyway: What I’m Learning About Confidence

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***Am I really going to press post?! Yep. It’s April and April is for being audacious…in a positive way. Here goes nothing!***

So, I did a thing recently and last night, oh last night I was starting to question myself…big time. Discomfort rolled in and rolled over me. Self-doubt tried to flatten me.

And then, then I remembered what I wrote earlier in the day – my word of the month for April: AUDACIOUS. Ladies, let’s be AUDACIOUS this month. Yep, I want people to say “the audacity of her!” I want ME to say, “the audacity of you! GO YOU!” And so, so I share this message with this picture. I haven’t shared it because I was embarrassed by it. It feels too, well, not me, right? Too glamorous. It’s bold. It’s courageous to share it.

It’s out of my comfort zone. And so, so I share it with you all as a first step in being a little more audacious this month…

Now to post before I don’t – and then to come back and explain more;) Okay, it’s posted and I’m back. So the thing I did? I joined a group of women to support each other in building our companies. I’ve fully accepted I can’t do it alone. I need the mental, intellectual and communal support. There is nothing better than being surrounded by people who get you, fully see you, and lift you up. Asking people who don’t get you, your dreams, your challenges, for support can be defeating, soul-sucking and create more obstacles to growth.

Been there. Done that. Rinsed and repeated. No More. The bold part? The group I joined is a bunch of women way, and I mean, way younger than me. Hotter than me too. Like, these ladies, no kids yet. Youth is on their side. Energy is on their side. Time is on their side. I am intimidated by them for all those reasons. I don’t fit it. AT ALL. This scared me at first. I almost didn’t say yes.

And then I realized…I could learn so much from what I am afraid of. I could gain so much from their energy, their youthfulness, their knowledge. There is a saying, that I will now destroy lol, that you are a sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. There is so much truth to it. More loosely, who you surround yourself with – their mindset, their energy, their attitudes, their outlooks etc.. – they are indeed, and scientifically proven, contagious.

Choose wisely. Choose BOLDLY. Make choices that will brighten your day, lift your spirits, help you not just chase your dreams, but get you closer to your dreams. Make choices that will leave you feeling lighter at the end of the day, not heavier. Make choices that will help you break through any and all obstacles you face so that you can live the life you want, you need, you deserve. It’s April. Be Audacious. Be Bold.

Be Courageous. Be Bright. Feel lighter as a result.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you aren’t feeling it today. Your strength lies within you every day, some days more so than others.

But everyday, everyday it is there, growing or re-building. I believe in you. I believe in all of us.

xoxo, Sheila


🧡 The Orange Rhino

When You’re the Glue Holding Everyone Together — and You’re Exhausted

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A very personal, transparent post.

You know how sometimes you hold it together because you have to?

Because if you let go, something will fall and break?

Because if you stop moving, everything will come to a screeching halt and crash?

Because if you show your real feelings, others will reel in pain?

Because if you aren’t the glue, everyone comes undone and that is worse than being the glue?

So therefore, you aren’t really holding it together because you have to, but because you CHOOSE to, because you know it is the right thing to do, for the moment, for the season.

Well, I have chosen to hold it together for at least eight years, arguably thirteen. There have been moments where I have sighed and had some relief. Moments where I *gasp* dared to think to myself, “Yes, this is it. I’m done holding it together. We’re in the clear.” Hardy, har, har, har. NOT! I realized Thursday morning that those moments? They weren’t really as full as I thought. Thursday morning I realized what an enormous weight I’ve been carrying around all these years.

One of loneliness. Exhaustion. Doubt. Worry. Oh, oh such an intense worry. Sadness. Pain. It is a weight that comes with having a child that is neurodivergent and not widely accepted. (I write that with 100% approval and encouragement by my child by the way.) And this morning, I realize there are weights I carry in being a mom of divorce. Weights I hadn’t fully acknowledged to myself. Weights I cannot write about. Weights I need to work to put down because they are equally exhausting and equally filling me with fear.

I’m tired, my friends. Not just because I recently had shingles. But because of the weights I carry. It is no surprise that I got shingles twice within 8 months. Stress brought it on, I have no doubt. The pressures in my life right now, the demands, are immense. They are (mostly) easy to see and can be managed. They are just A LOT. They take a lot of time, planning, and mental management.

And they are compounded by the invisible stressors, the invisible weights we carry. The invisible weights are so much harder to manage. They can only be managed when we do the work to acknowledge them…FULLY. Like fully, fully.

But let’s be real…it can be hard to do so because they are sooo heavy and yucky. Thursday morning I found myself EXHAUSTED beyond words. I was so confused as to why. I slept well. The night before had been GLORIOUS. Beautiful. Hopeful. Incredible beyond words. It was then I realized all the “mental weight” I had been carrying for thirteen years regarding my son. All the weight I had not fully acknowledged on a deep, deep level…because I couldn’t.

Wednesday night my incredible, neurodivergent son was honored as an “Unsung Hero” in our community. One senior per high school in our county was selected.

He was seen for more than his “label.” He was seen for who he truly is. He was seen for who he is today and how far he has come. He was seen for his heart, his compassion, his resilience. He was seen in a way so many people don’t dare to see him, because they are stuck in the past, they are stuck on labels. He made it. We made it.

And actually, he didn’t just make it. He friggin’ crushed it and then some. He inspired people along the way. He’s changed lives. He is a beacon of hope. Truly. Thursday morning I finally put down one heck of a heavy weight. And my body has collapsed in exhaustion. I will share more as I recover. I have run a marathon with this dear child in ways I haven’t shared. It takes a toll.

But I have held it together because I had to, because I chose to. And I have kept it all in to mostly myself, because if I dared to fully acknowledge what I felt, I wouldn’t have kept running alongside my son, cheering for him and he needed a cheerleader. I gladly played that role; as we all do for our children. I always believed in him, even when others didn’t.

Yesterday was admitted college student’s day. He is becoming a special education teacher. As he says, it is his turn to give back to others, the way a few very special teachers gave to him. 

Recovery is a beautiful journey. It can be equally long and exhausting though because you must still heal from the past. Because you must let go of your past identity and embrace your new identity. I am rebuilding. I am breaking through. And I am exhausted.

And I still have other weights to put down…not to mention the new weights I gained yesterday as I accepted that come fall I will be letting him fly as a college student. This mom’s heart is oh so proud and oh so heavy and oh so light at the same time. This woman’s heart is oh so hopeful and oh so heavy and oh so light at the same time. And hence, she is exhausted. And coming a little undone;) And that is okay. It is more than okay.

There are seasons to hold it together and there are seasons to not. Both are beautiful and have their purpose. Where are you?

Here’s to breaking down, re-building and breaking through to where we want to go and who we want to be.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you too know the feeling of carrying extra weight because of some extra parenting – or life – challenges. With so much love, understanding, and encouragement,

xoxo, Sheila


🧡 The Orange Rhino

Make the Plans: Why Time With Friends Is Worth Prioritizing

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Okay, I normally don’t directly give advice because I firmly believe that within each of us, we know what we need and what is best for us and that the last thing we truly need is more advice. BUT, today, today I am giving you direct advice. More than advice actually. I am boldly telling you what to do.

Because I love ya 😉 I want you to read this post and then immediately take action to make plans with a friend or friends within the next week or sooner. I also don’t like to write just do it but…just do it!

Yesterday, I had so many positive interactions with friends that today I am overflowing with positive energy, strength, determination, courage and yes, even hope. And honestly, I just feel better. I feel renewed. Refreshed. I feel human. I feel alive. These are some needed and overdue feelings from these past weeks of back to school go-go-go.

Yesterday, I laughed so hard I cried. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. I laughed so hard I *almost* peed in my pants. I can not remember the last time any of this happened. Oh, oh how I missed this kind of connection. The kind of connection where I smiled so wide that my heart cried. It happily cried from being understood, from being accepted, from being validated.

My heart happily cried from not feeling *weird* or different or *broken.*

My heart happily cried from rejoicing that it, that I, wasn’t alone, that my feelings were shared by others, that I could share with others without being judged.

My friends (that’s you all!) I know we all crave and so very much need connection.I look forward to the day when we get together and laugh as we share stories from our days and cry from sharing other stories.

But until then, I encourage you, I tell you, to reach out to one person and meet with them in person this week. You will feel soooo much better from it. I know we are busy and sometimes hesitant or even afraid to make plans. I know for many of us, placing the call, writing the text, making the plans, will take effort and maybe even feel uncomfortable after all these months or years.

But I also know that the comfort that will come after the little get together will be worth it. Beyond worth it. I almost didn’t have the chit chats I had yesterday. I was too busy. Too worried to share. Too uncomfortable. Too afraid to be rejected. I am so glad that I decided to be uncomfortable and to go there.

Because the comfort I found in the discomfort has me floating today. Happy Saturday to my Orange Rhino friends. I am grateful for you just as much as I am grateful for the local gals in my life.

Sending my warmth to go with the strength I know you have, today and always, and especially if you too sometimes crave more in person connection and struggle to make it happen…but will this week;) hint hint (not subtle at all)

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Seven Things I’m Working On to Build a Life I Actually Want to Live

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Just a refresher…I’m taking some time with my boys for a few days, 7 to be exact. I’m trying to get in some last minute summer memories before the chaos of school starts. I decided to try planned posts for the first time to help me focus on being “away.” I looked at a bunch of pictures I recently took and the stories behind them to see if there was a theme, and lo and behold, yep. The theme is not surprising at all: 7 goals I have to help me live the life I’ve longed to live.

One big goal? I want to be more courageous; live with less fear, more confidence. In my eyes, Rhinos are courageous and confident. They aren’t afraid to charge when needed. I too, want to go after what I want more, to be less afraid. I’ve known for most of my life that I’ve avoided things out of fear. Fear of failing. Fear of succeeding. Fear of being teased. Fear of this, fear of that.

Shortly before returning I realized in therapy how tired I was of living a life in fear.
How tired I was of keeping my opinions to myself.
Of not standing up for myself just to keep the peace.
Of not believing in myself like I used to.
Of not going after my dreams, just because…of fear.
Of how tired I was of HOLDING MYSELF BACK.

I wanted, want, to be more courageous and have thicker skin (like a Rhino.) I wanted (want) to learn how to take things less personally; to let things roll off my back more. Returning to The Orange Rhino was the start of this.

It was the start of facing fears and overcoming them. I’ve made progress on the more courageous, more confident, less afraid front, but have ways to go. That’s okay. Baby steps. I mean these posts? They are taking courage 😉 They are new and different for me. Stepping out of my normal zone lol. And not sure if they are working, but I’m still trying.

As for these roses, it was a risk and it’s working. I re-planted them at the start of the summer. Two professional landscapers told my fiancé and I not to. “Roses are sensitive. Don’t move them. They won’t survive.” (Such an easy statement for me to identify with since people tell me all the time I’m too sensitive!) The problem with that statement? I wasn’t happy where the roses were. The garden area wasn’t entirely bringing me the joy or peace I hoped for. I wanted to take the risk, make the change and move the roses.

My fiancé and I did the research, re-planted the roses and now, just look at these beauties! They’re blooming and blooming and blooming. And absolutely gorgeous! I see these roses everyday now and I see “thick skin” and having the courage to grow in new places 😉 And I’m reminded of my taking the risk of doing something that might have totally failed.

But roses don’t bloom all year here. Orange Rhinos do though 😉 Do you consider yourself courageous? Or do you too wish you were a little bit more so? Or maybe you consider yourself courageous but, is there one area where you wish you were a little bit more so? Do tell!

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you are working up the courage to do something hard and important to you.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino