Tag Archives: Work

College Move-In Is Coming — and I’m Already Grieving

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I’m still a mess, six days later. And my son hasn’t even gone to college yet. The official move in day is Tuesday. 48 hours from now.

So, um, yeah. How about no?! Ugh, I just choked up…again. This isn’t far off from how I felt a year ago when I received the big manilla envelope from the high school about all the things “Senior” year related, like ordering a cap and gown. The anticipation of the year to come was brutal. It was a wake up call that time was going too fast. Too, too fast. It made me stop and think, “shoot, did I do a good job?” And not, “did I do a good job teaching him” but did I do a good job being the mom I wanted to be?!

Did I live up to my ideals, goals, dreams? Or am I filled with regret?! And there’s the pit in my stomach…again. Sending a kid to college is hard. Full stop. Period. Whether it’s the first time, the last time, whether it is your child or grandchild, it is hard. It. Is. Hard. This post though is also for anyone who isn’t sending a kid off to school…but is close or remembers college life themselves. This post is simply for anyone feeling the grays in life right now and feeling how this monumental milestone that we all see everywhere (every single store is screaming college!) is about a heck of a lot more than college.

It’s a friggin’ wake up call, forcing one to take stock in their life. And now I know why my gut called this month, “Au-dit-gust.” Blech. Do know, this is not a rah-rah, you’re going to be okay post. I don’t do toxic positivity around here. Nope. Not how I roll. I face the hard, the gray, the REAL tough and not-so-tough feelings head on. Otherwise they knock me down even further and getting up and getting going is that much harder. (And that isn’t even taking into account my joints or lack of flexibility these days) I don’t have time to be knocked down more than I already am, please and thank you.

I’ve got packing to do…so that I feel reassured my child is taken care of. I’ve got pictures to print…so that I feel confident I’ve set my child up in a space that feels like home. I’ve got letters to write…so that I feel satisfied that I’ve said all I want to say, mostly, “I’m so friggin’ proud of you and I love you. Have fun. I’m always here.

Also, don’t forget to return my texts or I’m showing up and will embarrass you.” I’ve got administrative crud to do…so that I feel content knowing I did my last job in this stage and my child can focus on adjusting. I’ve got moments to cherish the best I can…so that I don’t feel the weight of regret, which is a beast. I’ve got things to do so I feel the best I can in a hard situation. I don’t have time to pretend my feelings aren’t real and aren’t happening.

Ironic, right? So many people tell us to stuff our feelings and move forward. I agree with the moving forward – but not if stuff is not processed or at least seen and acknowledged. Moving forward will be a wicked workout instead of a walk in the park.

So here I am. Seeing all of you and the comments you wrote on my post about my firstborn going to college. I’m humbled by the attention the post received. As a “writer” I should be ecstatic. Want to know something? I’m not. I’m sad, heartbroken actually (and not just because of my kiddo going off to college officially, officially on Tuesday.) My post resonated for lots of reasons, but a few are because so many of us, too many of us, don’t feel fully seen -or- don’t feel fully free to express all the feels we feel -or- don’t know feel fully supported, but instead pressured to find the positive, feel better already, and just move on.

And this breaks my heart. I know how it feels to go through hard times alone. I know how it feels to have to bite one’s tongue, hold their feelings back, pretend everything is okay. I know how it feels to be misunderstood, judged, ridiculed for feeling fully. and I know how it feels to feel all the feels and wonder, how, how will I feel better and when will I feel better? It just doesn’t feel great and I wish, I wish we didn’t feel this way.

But…feeling sad happens….feeling lonely happens….feeling worried, overwhelmed, scared happens. and…feeling unsupported and misunderstood, sadly, happens.

But it doesn’t have to happen totally alone. All this to say, I see you all. I’m not joking when I say I wish I could be with you all in this moment and let you just be real. Let you feel seen.

But I can’t. Like I said, I’ve got packing to do 😉 So here’s what I’m thinking. This is what WE are all going to do, if we can.

  1. We are not going to hide. We are going to keep feeling all the feels out loud, here, so others can see and not feel alone. This will bring comfort to so many. And if we have the strength, we will reply to another comment to show love and support and to spread warmth.
  2. When we are out and about, if we see someone who has that same look we saw when we looked in the mirror this morning – maybe puffy eyes, maybe sheer exhaustion, maybe a sense of loss – we are going to share a gentle, loving smile. Maybe a tissue (lol, if we have one to spare.)
  3. We are going to keep sharing the heck out of the post in the comments (about my firstborn going to college.) Not because I want it to go viral (lol, kinda busy right now for this to happen, but my son is THRILLED) but because it is clear that people need it.

They need to know they don’t have to rush through their emotions right now. They need to know they aren’t broken. They need to know they are surrounded by others who get it. We all need each other – in person and virtually. Let’s lift each other up, the Orange Rhino style. With compassion, understanding, and real, honest to goodness, vulnerability.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you are in the hard right now with me. I have so many more thoughts. They will be pouring out all week.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Perimenopause Brain Fog and Decision Fatigue Are a Brutal Combination

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Talk to me! My brain power is non-existent between perimenopause, focusing on my kid going to college, renovation questions etc… but I need to make a decision. Yeah, not going so well.

So I’m crowdsourcing with the best of the best – you! I’m working on updating my website (super excited for it by the way) and I need to decide on the statement/sentiment that people read first. Imagine this. You are new to the Orange Rhino (and you are also you!) Chances are you have landed on the website (or Facebook page) and are having a typical day which means maybe a wee bit overwhelming in spots, definitely a little lonely at times, and you are totally feeling the vibe that “Gray Happens.” Or maybe you are having a perfect day in which case, awesomesauce. What do you want to read to feel a little bit better?

To help you keep going and not get stuck and ruminate and go to the land of blech? BETTER SAID…you are having an eh day. You run into a friend. What do you want her to say to you to make you feel a little bit better? Do you want her to say something that is uplifting, encouraging and gives a sense of how things will be? -OR- Do you want her to say something that meets you where you are at? That makes you feel seen and understood?

-OR- A combination of both? Talk to me. What kind of message would you want to hear first and foremost? How do you want to feel when you land on The Orange Rhino? What wonderful words has a friend said to you that you wish you heard on repeat on the hard days, even the good days? I have a few months to make my dream happen or I am heading to an office job…which isn’t the end of the world but I would so much rather make this place my job!

Thank you, as always. I know this isn’t a typical post, but it’s where I am. STUCK and lacking brain power and unable to make a decision. Pretty sure that is relatable. Sending my warmth to go with your strength, especially if you too are feeling stuck today and out of brain power!

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Burnout and Life Audits: What I’m Reassessing Before a Big Transition

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I recently read an article about being burned out and well, that hit a nerve. I have absolutely, positively, no idea why. Shortly after I realized the month was coming to an end and as has been the case every month, a word came to me clear as day: AUDIT. I need to do an audit of my life. I need to step back and assess my life a bit – my actions, my choices, my everything.

So I give you… AU-dit-GUST. It’s a big month for me. My oldest goes to college in two weeks and I’m not ready. Maybe it’s by design. You know, I’ve been so busy I haven’t had a chance to stop and think about how I really feel. If I did, I would be paralyzed in sadness or overwhelm. Just last night it hit me real hard and the fear came in and knocked me over…

Have I taught him enough? Is he ready for all the peer pressure that comes with parties and this and that? How will he handle the workload? How will this and that and that and this? Did I do enough? Did I do a good enough job? Do I have enough time to do more? Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well.

But I have to ask myself, truly, honestly…why am I here? Why am I panicking – besides this is probably normal for first time moms? Well… My gut knows that I didn’t manage my priorities well this summer. That I procrastinated out of overwhelm, fear, and more. My gut knows that I am not doing well with my ADHD and figuring out how to work with it, especially as perimenopause makes it a heck of a lot harder. My gut knows that I am not doing a great job taking care of myself; that I haven’t been eating well, drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, or exercising – all things that help me feel well, be well and do well.

And by my gut, what I really mean, is I know. I don’t write this to be negative or self-critical. It’s the opposite. It’s actually self-love in a way. My self-reflection, my honesty with myself, will help me move forward to a place I’d rather be. Not being honest with myself, that’s not love. That would just keep me stuck and feeling heavy. I want to feel light, buoyant, and as balanced as possible. I want to feel as present as possible.

So I need to AU-dit-GUST to see where the obstacles are holding me back. Where can I subtract? Where can I add? Where can I keep things the same? Where can I ask for help? Where can I be more honest with myself? Where can I let go? One thing that I am considering, as you noticed, is writing a little less here this month so that I can really, truly focus on this big transition in my life. It’s hard for me to do this.

It means I will take a hit with Facebook sharing with all of you and I will have to bust my tuckus to get it back. It means while I will feel good about focusing more in one area of my life, I will feel a little unsure about another area. It means I will get out of habit which is hard for me as getting back into habits is always a challenge. It means being uncomfortable. Sometimes discomfort is needed for growth so I am going to accept being uncomfortable.

And besides, my first few days of AU-dit-GUST clearly gave me the decision to take a step back from writing and I think it is the right one for now. We’ll see. Life ebbs and flows. I think we all know that on August 20th (after drop off) I’m gonna be a mess and need to write about it 😉 What about you? Do you need an AU-dit-GUST as you prepare for back to school or the wrapping up of summer and the start of fall? Are you feeling a little misaligned and needing to do a reboot to feel a little lighter?

OR is your AU-dit-GUST leaving you feeling great? And remember, just because we self reflect and see growth, it doesn’t have to be negative. It can be done with compassion and excitement – and it should be done that way;) Off to breakfast as I am in a different city…again.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you totally get this and are feeling you need an AU-dit-GUST like now. Do you want me to post some questions daily? That is easy for me to do…lol…I think.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

When One Sip Sounds Like a Good Idea: What Sobriety Looks Like on a Hard Day

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The bottle was leftover from the graduation festivities. It sat, open, but closed, in the bottom shelf of the fridge, and it called my name. Oh did it call my name. “Oh hey there Sheila. You didn’t know I was here, did you? Well, here I am. Chilled, open, ready for you, right when you are so incredibly stressed and ready to lose your ever loving mind. It’s just one sip. What’s the danger in just one sip?”

“Right,” I thought. “What is the danger in just one sip? I have already gone well over five months without a drink, so what is one drop, one sip? Does it really matter? It’s not like I decided to stop drinking because I had a problem. I stopped drinking for health reasons. I stopped drinking to show my sons that life didn’t need alcohol to be “delicious” and enjoyable. I stopped drinking because it is a problem historically in my family and I knew I could very well go down that path; that I sensed I might be going down that path.”

I grabbed the bottle. I twisted the lid off. The bottle was two weeks-ish old so the smell of the white wine was strong.

Inviting. Tempting. I lifted the bottle up. And I almost took that sip. I almost did. I was so, so, incredibly close. And then I stopped.

And I walked right to the sink and poured the entire bottle out. First, it was old and it wasn’t worth it. Second, it was just one sip but one sip and I knew that one sip would lead to two, and two would lead to three, and three would lead to a glass. And third, third, I was days away from celebrating 6 months of being alcohol free. I didn’t want to give up on myself. I didn’t want to give up on my commitment. I didn’t want to give up in a moment of weakness.

The pride I felt when I said no to the wine, and yes to myself, was immense. At the same time, the sadness I felt that I was so stressed that I felt I needed something to numb, well, that bummed me out. Why?

Because to me it proved that yes, yes, not drinking was indeed the right path for me. Alcoholism is a problem in my greater family. Not drinking is a part of my journey now.

And the fact that it is so hard some days just continues to prove how it is such an important part of my journey. And it is hard. Really hard some days. Some days the stress, the pain, the overwhelm is so much that I just want a drink to make it go away.

But the drink doesn’t solve anything. And what I really want? What I am really seeking in that moment is the ritual of the drink and the feelings the ritual gives me. The pouring, the creating, of a drink.

Ritual = Doing something just for me The sitting down, and taking a break to drink, the drink.
Ritual = Slowing down and relaxing The enjoying and fully savoring the drink.
Ritual = Filling up with joy after a day of feelings that have been the exact opposite.

So as I continue my journey of not drinking —which is a part of my greater journey of living a life that feels good, that aligns with who I am, who I want to be, what I want, and where I want to go— I will continue to find a new ritual for when I feel overly stressed and needing to numb. I will continue to try and create a reset ritual for myself that doesn’t include alcohol. Or rather, creating several reset rituals. (Side note: if only I liked drinking tea. I used to work for Lipton Tea and I know that tea drinkers find it to be very much a ritual type of thing. I can’t make myself like tea…at all. Ugh. And baths take too long. And exercising at night wakes me up. I’ve tried lots of things. And I will keep trying)

Until I find a reset ritual that works fully…I will keep doing what I am doing which is saying to myself, “Sheil, you don’t want the drink, you want to feel better and this ain’t gonna do the trick. Maybe in the moment it will, but only briefly. It isn’t worth it. Pour some water. Leave the room. Put some music on.”

While I know this post is about my journey to not drink, the truth is we all have things /actions/habits (yes, habits) we do to numb ourselves when we need to escape the frustration, the stress, the pain, the overwhelm, the chaos, the whatever-feeling-we-don’t-like that we are currently feeling.

What is your go to replacement action for said numbing habit? Do you have one? Scrolling is another one of my numbing go-to’s. Ugh. “Don’t scroll, go for a quick stroll” is one of my sayings/actions for that struggle (and yes, I still struggle lol) Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you are struggling with a numbing activity that you would really like to stop. I know it ain’t easy.

Gosh do I (especially since many of the numbing activities are generally everywhere we go!) 

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

P.S. Not drinking is officially part of my journey, my story, my life. I will be writing about it more. I can’t, not write about it. I hope you stick around in spite of this addition. Again, it isn’t a judgement of anyone who still drinks. It is just my journey and like I said, it is a reflection of any action we take to avoid feeling something we don’t like AND it is a part of my greater journey to live a life where I can walk lighter and feel brighter

Why an Orange Dress Made Me Feel More Like Myself

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I got the message loud and clear. Buy the orange dress! So many of you sent me the link to this totally awesome orange dress from Quince. I was hesitant as they listed the color as red-something but turns out that it is 100% Orange Rhino orange and I love it. Do you know how I felt the moment I put it on?! HAPPY. Alive. Confident. Frigging awesome. It is so adorable and awesome and on brand lol. This picture isn’t the best one of me that I took (slight wardrobe malfunction, whatevers) but the best of the dress.

I will have to wear it again (easy!) and do a real photo shoot. But let’s step back for a moment and gain some perspective. I’m Sheila – a girl who from afar has loved clothes, especially dresses. I’ve loved getting dressed up. I’ve dreamed of dressing up more often. One thing I miss from my work days? My suits. My business outfits. My feeling sharp and put together. I’ve had a goal since January to “Put on Confident Clothes” every day.

No more just staying in workout clothes all day (except for when working around the house or in the yard or well, when life happens and other exceptions lol.) I finally listened to myself and leaned into my desire to dress up more. I finally listened and leaned into my desire to feel more confident on a daily, not a moment by moment basis. I finally listened and leaned into the fact I wanted to embrace: WHO CARES what people think if I go out in all orange and I am unapologetically, 100% bright?!

I’ve been putting on my “Confidence Clothes” (yep that is what it says as a task in my phone) daily and guess what?! Ladies, can I tell you how awesome it feels?! To listen to my heart, to lean into my desires, to have FUN?! To have a pep in my step?! I always felt clothes and fashion were unattainable for me because I am just not fashion forward, never really have been. No offense to my mom (who is totally reading this) but she wasn’t one to teach me about fashion.

We have very different styles. VERY different styles. I didn’t even learn about makeup or doing my hair. Any of that stuff. Not the end of the world, for sure. She taught me other things that mattered more – kindness, compassion, courage, yada yada (there you go mom, happy mother’s day.) But fashion, make-up, and accessorizing are things I’ve longed to learn about, to be good at.

And now I’m letting myself explore and have fun and I feel so much lighter as a result. What we wear matters. It does impact how we feel!

So thank you all for sending me the link to the dress! It truly energized me yesterday and made me feel better, helped me feel more me after days of feeling flat, dull and blech. May is mental health awareness month (should’ve made that my M, mental health!) Being honest with myself that I actually love clothes, honoring this insight and desire, and being 100% unapologetic about this side of me?! Oh it is so good for my mental health.

Being true to me – a key to my mental health. And as I write that, I feel I need to be even more honest with myself about other things. That includes sharing things with all of you. Hmmm, maybe next week. It’s been weighing on my mind and I’m ready to feel more free, more light. It’s Mental Health Awareness month after all and mental health matters to me, big time!

I’m curious…do you feel you are totally honest with yourself? Do you know when you aren’t telling yourself the truth? When you’re ignoring what your heart is saying? I do and ugh. I’m getting better at listening (only took a couple of years lol.) Happy FriYAY my friends! I hope you feel confident and comfortable and content in whatever you wear today – literally and figuratively.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if what you put on today, literally or figuratively, doesn’t feel right. I hope you can take one action to feel better.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Saying Goodbye to a Home After Divorce: When Renovation Brings Up Everything

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Saying goodbye to the kitchen I designed with my ex-husband…the same kitchen where we celebrated birthdays and achievements, like my 365 days without yelling…the same kitchen where we stood and decided to end our marriage, where we decided to walk away from the dream we both so very much wanted, is turning out to be very, very hard. I am filled with both immense sadness and excitement. Life is both/and my friends.

I used to think it was black and white. I used to live in black and white, sometimes in gray. If there is one thing I’ve learned from my divorce, it’s the both/and. I’ve had to learn to hold space in the same hour for painful feelings and pleasurable ones. I’ve had to be an Orange Rhino day in and day out. I’ve had to really embrace that concept – that gray feelings are real and exist and need to be honored, and also that orange feelings, ones of warmth, positive energy, enthusiasm, ones that help us be present, be action oriented, be fulfilled, can exist too.

And the Orange feelings – they wrap the gray ones up with a big tight embrace so one can keep moving forward. Both/and Enthusiastic/Sad Orange/Gray And now I take my kiddos to school – literally using all the Orange energy I have to wrap up the gray with love so that I can be present with my kiddos and not snappy.

Sending my warmth to you, to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you too are working on wrapping up your gray this morning. Your gray is real. I see you.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Doing the Scary Thing Anyway: What I’m Learning About Confidence

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***Am I really going to press post?! Yep. It’s April and April is for being audacious…in a positive way. Here goes nothing!***

So, I did a thing recently and last night, oh last night I was starting to question myself…big time. Discomfort rolled in and rolled over me. Self-doubt tried to flatten me.

And then, then I remembered what I wrote earlier in the day – my word of the month for April: AUDACIOUS. Ladies, let’s be AUDACIOUS this month. Yep, I want people to say “the audacity of her!” I want ME to say, “the audacity of you! GO YOU!” And so, so I share this message with this picture. I haven’t shared it because I was embarrassed by it. It feels too, well, not me, right? Too glamorous. It’s bold. It’s courageous to share it.

It’s out of my comfort zone. And so, so I share it with you all as a first step in being a little more audacious this month…

Now to post before I don’t – and then to come back and explain more;) Okay, it’s posted and I’m back. So the thing I did? I joined a group of women to support each other in building our companies. I’ve fully accepted I can’t do it alone. I need the mental, intellectual and communal support. There is nothing better than being surrounded by people who get you, fully see you, and lift you up. Asking people who don’t get you, your dreams, your challenges, for support can be defeating, soul-sucking and create more obstacles to growth.

Been there. Done that. Rinsed and repeated. No More. The bold part? The group I joined is a bunch of women way, and I mean, way younger than me. Hotter than me too. Like, these ladies, no kids yet. Youth is on their side. Energy is on their side. Time is on their side. I am intimidated by them for all those reasons. I don’t fit it. AT ALL. This scared me at first. I almost didn’t say yes.

And then I realized…I could learn so much from what I am afraid of. I could gain so much from their energy, their youthfulness, their knowledge. There is a saying, that I will now destroy lol, that you are a sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. There is so much truth to it. More loosely, who you surround yourself with – their mindset, their energy, their attitudes, their outlooks etc.. – they are indeed, and scientifically proven, contagious.

Choose wisely. Choose BOLDLY. Make choices that will brighten your day, lift your spirits, help you not just chase your dreams, but get you closer to your dreams. Make choices that will leave you feeling lighter at the end of the day, not heavier. Make choices that will help you break through any and all obstacles you face so that you can live the life you want, you need, you deserve. It’s April. Be Audacious. Be Bold.

Be Courageous. Be Bright. Feel lighter as a result.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you aren’t feeling it today. Your strength lies within you every day, some days more so than others.

But everyday, everyday it is there, growing or re-building. I believe in you. I believe in all of us.

xoxo, Sheila


🧡 The Orange Rhino

Why You Shouldn’t Put Off Your Own Doctor Appointments

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I had an unexpected medical procedure Friday afternoon. Nothing serious but…it sidelined me, has sidelined me a bit. It has forced me to sit all weekend and rest as I am physically uncomfortable. All this said, a few takeaways that are floating around in my mind that I thought I’d share. Don’t put off doctor’s appointments. Your care matters just as much as your kid’s care. I know, I know. Annoying to hear but I care and so I’m lovingly putting it out there.

I had scheduled and rescheduled and rescheduled this appointment because of kids and life and then never rescheduled it. Ooops. Should have had the appointment years ago. I’m lucky nothing serious happened these past too many years to count. Note to self: Ruminating and worrying does no good. The appointment was supposed to be a consult about whether or not to do the procedure (sorry to be vague, it’s just a weird situation).

If it had been an actual appointment for the procedure, I wouldn’t have gone because I would’ve talked myself out of it out of fear. I would’ve told myself the current pain was okay, manageable. However, this doctor, this new, lovely, kind, gentle doctor explained everything. The pros, the risks of not doing it (which are kinda high) the after care etc. She was so much nicer than a past doctor I met who was part of the reason I had hesitated to reschedule the appointment over the last few years.

This lovely doctor had time to do the procedure (well obviously Sheila lol,) so we did. And I made it through (again, duh) Had I had time to think about it, I would’ve worried myself right out of it. Anxiety is a beast. I struggle with it a lot. I’ve thought a lot this weekend about whether or not I was impulsive in saying yes to the procedure BUT then I say to myself, “Girl, if you thought more about it you would have said no out of fear.” Point being: anxiety is real but not always the best guide and not always right.

We can’t let it always win. Apparently, I’m not superwoman. I was feeling frustrated yesterday that I couldn’t do my daily walks which are so key to my feeling good. I had hopped on the treadmill and after one minute I was all, “yeah no, this ain’t happening.” I texted a friend who has supported my current health goals and she replied, “You need to rest. Your body needs to heal.” Wait, what? The procedure was quick – 10 minutes, maybe 15.

It was in office. It was minor. Heal? Rest? These words hadn’t even crossed my mind. I was going to go on as I normally do. I left the office walking. I drove myself home like no big deal.

Except it kinda was. I had local anesthesia for pain. And it still hurt LIKE HECK. And it was a biopsy which always takes a mental toll, you know? And again, shocker, I’m not superwoman;) Yes, I needed to rest and heal. I did not need to power through. Point being: sometimes the smallest things are still BIG and we don’t need to minimize them, but we still need to heal from them. Point being: sometimes we’re tired and can’t move forward because our body needs to heal and process from the inside – for reasons we know or don’t know…and we need to listen.

Point being: I’m so used to powering through and “doing it all” that slowing down – even when in pain – didn’t even dawn on me and that is an opener worth working on, big time, wouldn’t ya say?!

So there are my Sunday thoughts, from my cozy chair that seems to have my name written all over it this fine January. But hey, at least I have such a chair.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if any of these points hit close to home. You aren’t alone.

xoxo, Sheila


🧡 The Orange Rhino

Why I Don’t Want to Pack Away All the Color After the Holidays

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As I sit here and enjoy the last morning by our tree until next December, I find myself wondering the same things I wonder every single year…

  1. Why do I wait until the calendar tells me it’s “time” to bring a little extra color, sparkle and joy to my family room?
  2. If I like having this little extra in my home, if it brings so much more positive energy to our room, why don’t we find a way to keep that feeling alive in said room all year long?
  3. Okay Sheila, you know when the tree is down in a few hours, and the decorations are all gone later this week, the house will feel a little more empty and blah. Happens every year. What action will you take this year to overcome that? The little extra magic and sparkle doesn’t need to be felt just during December and just because of holiday decorations. What can you change in the house, what NEEDS to change in the house, to keep these positive, upbeat vibes going year long? What needs to change so that every morning you are beckoned to go and sit in your chair and cozy up with your coffee and blanket and relax a bit? Start your day off slower, calmer, and therefore wayyy better.

ALSO, and this is important. What the heck is that small beeping, almost whistling that is somewhere in my family room that I can’t find?!!! That needs to go and not come back or be replicated or enhanced;) Seriously though.

It’s the same when we clean up for a party and we think, “why didn’t we do this before?” Or when we pack up to move and we think, “why didn’t we declutter before?” Why wait? Why wait for the special occasion? And why return to the old way just because said occasion is over?! Just some fun thoughts for a Sunday. Tell me…what positive vibes from the holidays would you wish to keep going year round?!

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you aren’t feeling as many positive vibes as you wish right now.

xoxo, Sheila


🧡 The Orange Rhino

Sometimes Life Is Hard “Just Because” — No Explanation Required

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What if? What if we don’t explain away why we feel what we feel, what if we don’t analyze why we’re crying again, but instead we simply say, “it’s Just Because.” And by this we mean, sometimes our feelings and our response simply reflect that life is hard sometimes.

After I shared with you all yesterday about my frustrating medical situation, I dropped the kids off at school and came home to read an email with more frustrating news. “Ugh. Why can’t anything be easy?!” I said out loud, maybe a little too loud. Hope, my dog, looked at me. She was frustrated too. We were off schedule because I had to wait for a worker to come to the house. As soon as the worker came and I got them settled, Hope and I headed out in the oddly warm December weather.

My mind immediately returned to thoughts about how nothing was going smoothly lately. “It’s not that I feel like a victim. No, no this isn’t victim mentality.” I thought to myself. “It’s just, I *wish* things could go a little easier. I *wish* I wasn’t bumping into so many barriers.” I found myself tearing up. It reminded me of the day before when something happened and tears started to form.

Before my son could say anything I said to him, “I know, I know, I’m crying again. It’s what I do lately. The tears just flow.” He laughed and replied, “You beat me to it.” I continued my walk, wondering why I cry so easily lately.

Before my brain could even go there, I said to myself… “Girl, I know you like to analyze everything and have an explanation for everything. But sometimes, sometimes there isn’t an explanation -OR- sometimes one isn’t needed. You don’t need to say ‘it’s what you do lately’ and right now you don’t need to explain away your tears by blaming perimenopause. Just be. Let yourself cry JUST BEcause your body needs to. Just because life is hard sometimes and that’s okay. Sure hormones make it easier to cry 😉 but that’s not always the trigger or even the only trigger.

Life. Life can be a trigger. Life can be hard, and overwhelming and exhausting. Period. Yes, life is good. Sure, everyday should feel good. But sometimes it doesn’t. It’s okay that tears seep out as a response. Let them.”

I sighed a sigh of relief, of feeling free, of feeling more accepted by myself. It’s not that I have anything against crying, I don’t. You all know that. Crying is needed – it’s a way of the body cleansing itself, of helping calm itself, so it doesn’t burst. It’s just, anytime I explained away my tears I also invalidated my feelings. I didn’t leave room for my feelings or experience.

Blaming every tear on a hormonal week or perimenopause, or even exhaustion, didn’t give me a chance to see if something else was going on. Something else that needed space to be seen and fully felt. The rest of my walk was nice and peaceful. I mean 50 degrees in December in NJ? Yes please! The minute I got home a friend called and we started chatting about how exhausted we are from parenting and well, everything 😉 Ironically (or not) we ended up talking about how tears just seem to be natural lately.

She was like “why? just why?” I replied, “Just Because life can be freakin’ hard.” We laughed because we were both also so tired of everything being blamed on anything but our real experience in life. Life can be good. Everyday can have moments that feel good. And also, it can be hard. Not because you’re doing it wrong but just because, it can be a lot. Remember that.

So just keep being you. Keep showing up the best you can in the moment, tears or no tears. You’re doing great.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and also sending tissues (the nice kind with aloe added so your skin doesn’t get rough). Thinking of you all,

xoxo, Sheila


🧡 The Orange Rhino