Tag Archives: Organizing

Why I’m Organizing My Home for Peace and Productivity — Not Just Prettiness

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I’m not seeking prettiness, I’m seeking peace. And I’m not seeking prettiness, I’m seeking productivity. But really what I’m seeking are ways to soothe my nervous system, ways to feel better, ways to lift myself up.

I write these disclaimers because there is nothing lonelier than being misunderstood or rejected. And if I’m being honest, I fear that sharing my interest in organizing my home will lead to both.

But at the same time, I truly believe in the upsides of the story I’m about to share. Not just from personal, lived experience, but because I know research supports it.

Yesterday, I was feeling depleted and asked myself, “What do I need to feel better? What would make me happy?” My answers? Getting something done. Being creative.

So a pantry cabinet called to me to be organized at long last. As anticipated, I opened the door and things fell out.

Oh, has this one cabinet been driving me bat shite crazy. And oh, has it been bringing so much unnecessary stress to the end of my day, since it holds the broom I grab after dinner.  But organizing it? Oh, It. Brought. Me. So. Much. Joy!!!

Problem-solving to figure out where everything would go? Finding something in our house that would help organize things? Oh, my brain loved the challenge and the success of figuring it out!

Opening the cabinet door and not being attacked by falling paper towels? Or a falling broom? Heaven on earth. Seeing a finished project? Total dopamine rush. I love organizing. Not to achieve Pinterest results, but because of all I just mentioned.

The process.

The results.

The feelings.

The feelings that continue well after the job is done.

The feelings of ease of knowing where everything goes.

The feelings of relief of not over buying because I easily find what I need the first time.

The feelings of peace every time I see a visually pleasing cabinet. I’ve been organizing more and more since the renovation finished.

More systems in place. More stuff donated. Less to organize. Less to tidy. I feel lighter. Less gray. More orange. I want to write more about this, but my old brain — the part of me that has been told before that I’m a perfectionist and too anal-retentive, the part of me that is saying no one cares — is still popping in and saying, “I wouldn’t…” But I gotta tell you. I know there are so many ADHD brains, so many perimenopausal brains, out there like mine thinking:

I can’t organize.

I don’t have the time.

It really isn’t worth it.

But also… I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and annoyed by over-purchasing, wasting time looking for things, and clutter. I’m living the results of doing a little at a time AND it is possible, even for brains like ours.

And it is more than worth it. I want to scream from the cleaner cabinets all about it. I can barely contain myself. SO much so that I wonder if that should be my job?! No joke. BUT…

The truth? My organized cabinet?
It isn’t just about more clean, organized cabinets with some bins to boot. It really is about one way I’m finding ease and joy so that I feel lighter in general which is totally Orange Rhino oriented, so I guess I’ll stick around here.

Happy MonYAY everyone. I hope it has started off on a great note and if not, there is still plenty of time to create some orange. Sending warmth as always,

xoxo, Sheila.

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Sensory Overload, Clutter and Yelling: What My Teen Understands About Me

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My teenage son totally has my number. And it’s because I taught him well. Ever since I was little, I’ve been super sensitive to certain sounds, textures, and visual clutter. I used to sit in movie theaters thinking, When I grow up, I’m going to invent popcorn that isn’t crunchy sounding… and chip bags that don’t wrinkle when you put your hand in.

So yes…having four loud boys did not exactly help my sensory processing. When they were younger, my nervous system was often fried from the noise, the chaos, the constant touching, the overwhelm, and the exhaustion. A lot of my yelling came from that place. My body was screaming on the inside and it needed somewhere for all that overload to go. Once I started The Orange Rhino Challenge®, I began understanding that better.

And I started handling it differently. I took breaks. Splashed cold water on my face. Turned on music to dance out my energy. Put in earbuds to listen to calming music and tune out the noise. I talked out loud about what was happening in my body. As the boys got older, and it became more obvious we’re a pretty neurodiverse family, I tried to make two things clear: It is my job to take care of me (likewise goes for them!) If I’m overwhelmed, it’s my job to step away, get my earbuds, regulate, and do what I need to do to feel better and less snappy.

And that in a family, it’s loving to consider each other too. If someone says they’re overloaded, the kind thing is to be considerate, help if you can… or at least maybe not chew chips like you’re in a sound effects competition.

Well. Fast forward to last night. I was super off. Later I realized my ankles were massively swollen, so apparently my body was not happy. Then my son started eating potato chips. I was about to absolutely lose my mind. And this child looked at me and said: “Mom, stop telling me to chew quieter. Where are your earbuds? You need them.”

Then he got up, found them, handed them to me, and said with the most loving and playful as possible but irritated voice, “I’ve had enough of you. I want to chew my chips in peace.”

Honestly? Fair. I put them in… but not before I blasted music on my computer and he chewed as obnoxiously loudly as possible. It became a full-on sound off. We both ended up smiling.

And I told him, “Thank you. I appreciate it. And you’re right… it was my job to get up and find them. Sorry, kiddo. Enjoy your chips. But first, may I have one?!”

We teach them and hope it lands. And then one day, it does and you feel so grateful. For the loving help and the potato chips. Sending my warmth and a little oomph to you, today and always,

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Why We Say “I’m Fine” When We’re Absolutely Not

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Do you ever pretend you’re fine… when you’re absolutely not? (Rhetorical question) I have a serious case of the “I’m fine’s” right now. You know the ones: “I’m fine, really.” “It’s no big deal.” “I’m good. It’s all good.” (Andy Grammer may be good. But if I’m being honest with myself, honey I’m not good) Why is it so hard to just say: “Yeah… today sucked.” “I know I’ll be okay, but right now? This stinks.” “I’m frustrated. I thought I’d feel better by now.” Like seriously, why can’t I just be totally honest with others more often?

When my best friend called the other night and said, “Sheil!!! Why didn’t you tell me you were having another procedure?” My answer? “I didn’t want to be a burden.” Oof.

Here’s the truth: I’ve been told before that I’m “too much.” That I’m “seeking attention.” That I “just want to be sick.” So somewhere along the way, I taught myself: Keep it in. Say you’re fine. Don’t inconvenience anyone. Even though I know I can trust my real friends… Even though I know I can share my shite sandwiches… I still struggle. I’m re-teaching my brain that I can share the hard stuff. That I can be “not fine” and also know “I will be fine” at the same time.

Practice is exhausting. But it’s working. Every day I accept the gray a little more and still create orange anyway. Every day I practice being real with myself. Some days go better than others.

But most days? I feel lighter. I want us all to feel that way today. I want to try something. If this applies to you, drop one honest “not fine” truth in the comments. Just one. And let’s reply to each other with actual support. No fixing. No minimizing. Just: “I see you” or some other loving message.” I have a feeling a lot of us are carrying something quietly. Let’s all feel a little bit better today, together.

Sending my warmth to all of you, especially those who aren’t feeling fine and also (understandably) don’t feel comfortable yet sharing with others. I see you. I get it.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

How a Friend Helped Me Finally Let Go of What My House “Should” Look Like

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I had the most liberating, helpful phone call with a friend yesterday. Saweet! It’s amazing how we can know something, tell ourselves something, and yet it takes a friend saying the exact same thing for us to finally hear it and follow through, right?! –>Anyone else experience this? Lately, I’ve been juggling so much (aren’t we all?): parenting responsibilities, launching a company (did I just formally put that in writing?!), being a human, and re-setting up my house after a “kitchen” renovation that somehow took over every room.

Every day, I feel pulled in so many directions. Every day I ask myself, “okay, so what is most important?”

“What action will bring me the most peace?”
“What action will have the largest consequence if I ignore it?”
“What action will energize me the most so I can do everything else a little bit better, so I can go to bed feeling a little bit better about how the day went?”
And of course, the answers never match.

Work needs the most. Parenting matters most. Cleaning weighs on me most. Cue frustration, overwhelm, and hair pulling. In my heart, I knew the house was what I needed to say yes to and yet, I couldn’t. Enter my friend. I made myself a cup of hot chocolate in one of my favorite mugs (and not just because it’s orange, but because it is honestly the perfect size!) and gave her a call.

“Girl! ORGANIZE THE HOUSE! Forget work. Forget doing all the parenting stuff. You feel suffocated by the clutter, the chaos, the visual to-dos. You are drowning in the negative energy that every room brings. It’s okay to say yes to cleaning and organizing.” she said to me, all matter-of-factly.

So I did. After a doctor’s appointment (and a slightly embarrassing nap during my echo with a 25-year-old tech), I came home, rested, and voila—one room re-organized, one me re-energized. Holy shnikes, what a difference in my mood, my outlook, my everything. Cleaning, organizing can be given such a bad rap. Focus on the other stuff people say. Cleaning and organizing can wait. Sure, sometimes it can.

But sometimes, oh sometimes it IS the game changer, the foundation that makes everything better. So the question for me is, what will I tackle today?! Hmmm. Good news…the possibilities are endless since there are soo many boxes and dust is everywhere post floors getting refinished!

What’s your version of cleaning the house? The thing you keep pushing aside but deep down know would make you feel lighter, calmer, more like you again? The thing you want to do but feel like maybe you shouldn’t prioritize because of messaging out there that says otherwise?! Tell me below — I promise, no judgment, just solidarity and maybe a gentle nudge to go for it. Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you are going to tackle your version of “cleaning the house” today. I’m with you in spirit. Always am.

xoxo, Sheila
🧡 The Orange Rhino

Why I Don’t Want to Pack Away All the Color After the Holidays

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As I sit here and enjoy the last morning by our tree until next December, I find myself wondering the same things I wonder every single year…

  1. Why do I wait until the calendar tells me it’s “time” to bring a little extra color, sparkle and joy to my family room?
  2. If I like having this little extra in my home, if it brings so much more positive energy to our room, why don’t we find a way to keep that feeling alive in said room all year long?
  3. Okay Sheila, you know when the tree is down in a few hours, and the decorations are all gone later this week, the house will feel a little more empty and blah. Happens every year. What action will you take this year to overcome that? The little extra magic and sparkle doesn’t need to be felt just during December and just because of holiday decorations. What can you change in the house, what NEEDS to change in the house, to keep these positive, upbeat vibes going year long? What needs to change so that every morning you are beckoned to go and sit in your chair and cozy up with your coffee and blanket and relax a bit? Start your day off slower, calmer, and therefore wayyy better.

ALSO, and this is important. What the heck is that small beeping, almost whistling that is somewhere in my family room that I can’t find?!!! That needs to go and not come back or be replicated or enhanced;) Seriously though.

It’s the same when we clean up for a party and we think, “why didn’t we do this before?” Or when we pack up to move and we think, “why didn’t we declutter before?” Why wait? Why wait for the special occasion? And why return to the old way just because said occasion is over?! Just some fun thoughts for a Sunday. Tell me…what positive vibes from the holidays would you wish to keep going year round?!

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you aren’t feeling as many positive vibes as you wish right now.

xoxo, Sheila


🧡 The Orange Rhino

Why Parenting Teenagers Is Hard in Ways We Can’t Always Talk About

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Having teenagers is hard and not for the reasons everyone talks about. It’s for the reasons no one talks about. Or writes about. Because we can’t. Or at least, I can’t. Or rather, I choose not to.

When my kids were younger, you know, the infant stage, the toddler stage, the pre-school stage and maybe even all the way up to third grade, I could more easily write and talk about the struggles of parenting them. I could share discreetly about their struggles, my struggles, our struggles. There was less wider judgement of them, more understanding that they were kids, they were still developing. There was more grace for them, for me. (Well, for the most part.) And, my kids’ friends were not on social media then and couldn’t read what I wrote which yes, is a current, problem.

Now, given my kids’ ages, I respect their request to honor their privacy. We have a pact about what I do and don’t write. I ask permission when needed and well, they sometimes tell me what I need to write, should write. All that said, years ago… I could share more freely when I wrote as The Orange Rhino and even when I spoke with friends. Sharing my struggles, my doubts, my hurts, well, we all know that when we share those things, when we no longer carry those heavy feelings by ourselves, that we feel lighter, brighter, better. That we feel less alone.

On my way into the house yesterday, after a few moments to myself in my minivan, thinking of all my boys and all the different stressors, it hit me hard just how much I am not sharing. It hit me hard how I am feeling.

I am carrying A LOT by myself right now. So very, very much. There is so much my heart is carrying that I can not share. My heart is heavy from worry, from sadness, from hurt, from exhaustion. My heart is heavy from loving my kiddos so gosh darn much. Parenting is wonderful, but whoa, is it a hard and heavy job to carry. But alas, I carry it the best that I can.

Yesterday, at around 3:30, after the last activity of the day, I announced to my boys, “Guys, I don’t feel well. I’m coming down with my annual winter cold. I’m wiped. And I need to do some things for me so that I feel better. So I’m going to focus on me all afternoon. Dinner is take-out. No fighting over where. I need a peaceful rest of the day. I need to re-charge and just chill.”

I needed to lighten my mental and physical load because well, the load of my life is heavy right now and I am carrying it mostly alone (save a few very special people whom I am so grateful for.) I feel a little better today. Slept a lot. Organized some cluttered spaces that were weighing me down. But of course it wasn’t enough to outweigh all the heaviness. That’s okay.

Today, I will do what I’ve been doing. I will find beauty where I can to add brightness to my day. I will call a friend and share some good laughs to lighten my day. And I will remind myself to just keep going, one step at a time. I’ve got this.

Parenting teens might be hard, but it is worth it. They are worth it. If you are carrying a lot on your heart that you can’t fully share, I get it. I see you. I’m sending you and your kiddo(s) my love. Sending warmth and strength to you today and always,

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

The Never-Ending Dishwasher Cycle — and the Tiny Thing That Makes It Better

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This is my favorite time of the night <insert sarcasm> It’s when I realize that we need to empty the dishwasher so that we can…

load the dishwasher so that…

the counter is clear so that…

I can cook dinner only so that…

I can make a mess again and have more dirty dishes and pans so that…

we can empty the dishwasher and load it, yet again.

The only saving grace?! The dish soap. It’s a pretty blue. I look at it and pretend it is the ocean.

No joke. Ya gotta do what you gotta do to get through the monotony!

Oh the other saving grace? In between the loading of the dishwasher is Chicken Parmesan and what is better than that? Ooey gooey bubbly cheesy goodness coming up!

Oh, I know what is better. It is the ONE MEAL all my kids eat not only without complaining but with COMPLIMENTS. Compliments people. Actually, “Mom, this is the best meal ever, you are amazing!”

So dishes be loaded.

Counters be cleaned.

It shall be worth it. (She says on repeat so she doesn’t lose her sh*t in the process!)

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino