Category Archives: Overwhelm & Stress

June Burnout: How to Survive a Busy Month and Still Experience It

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June is notoriously both exciting and exhausting. The challenge? Having enough energy to survive it and soak it all in at the same time. And if I’m brutally honest with myself? May took more out of me than I realized.

And then June showed up anyway, in all its glory. It’s going to be a tough month ahead emotionally, which means it will be physically draining too. Not to mention it’s going to be draining in general because it is naturally busy, busy, busy. And since May really did a number on me, even with so many highs, I’m totally depleted.

But this June, this month, I really don’t “want to miss a thing.” (Thank you Aerosmith for that line forever living rent free in my head!) My second son is graduating high school. I want to be rested. I want to feel relaxed. I want to feel good. I want to be present. SO…this borderline burnout and mental/physical whatever-it-is I’ve been battling that has me sleeping more than usual? I’d like to get a better hold of it.

And since it’s the first of the month, it feels like the right time for…

A restart.
A reset.
A reflection.

As I look back at May and get real with myself about what went well, and what made my gray a whole heck of a lot heavier than it needed to be, a few things stand out.

Some of my hard? Well, it was just hard because it was truly hard. And I got through it.

Some of my hard? Lack of sleep didn’t help. Lack of self-nourishment didn’t help. Lack of fresh air, exercise, and social connection didn’t help.

And some of my hard? Taking on too much without asking for enough help. I am SUPER good at that. Anyone else excel at this too?

This is an upside of being a dreamer, by the way 😉 So as I sit here and wonder what word will help guide me this month, a random word came to mind. JUNIPER I smiled when I looked up the meaning and symbolism. (Because yes, I had no real clue.) Juniper is an evergreen shrub or small tree with needle-like leaves and small berry-like cones that survives and thrives in harsh, cold winters. Perfection! It gets better… Juniper often carries meanings like: Protection.

Clearing. New beginnings. Hope. And my favorite? Staying green through hard seasons. I’d say this is a pretty perfect mnemonic for JUNE, a notoriously wonderful, celebratory, emotional, and exhausting month, wouldn’t ya say?!

JUNEiper. The reminder to protect my energy.

JUNEiper. The reminder to clear out what makes the gray heavier.

JUNEiper. The reminder that I can start again at any given moment with doing what I need, for me, to feel more at ease.

JUNEiper. The reminder that even in a hard season, I can still stay green. Scratch that. I can still create and help the orange stand out.

JUNEiper. So refreshing. Makes me want to go outside in nature and just breathe in fresh air for a bit. Which is exactly what I know I need to do more often. Because I don’t want to miss June.

 Happy JUNEiper my friends. Sending warmth which by the way is also what JUNEiper is known for. How about that for a random word coming to me?!

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

When Challenges Interrupt a Productive Day: How I Try Not to Add More Gray

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I said I wouldn’t hide. So here I am. Struggling, and sharing how I’m refusing to stay stuck. I wrote this yesterday. I was excited(ish).

Finally, a non-rushed shower. Makeup. Hair actually blown out. Time dedicated to me, my work, my goals. I sat down. Focused. Motivated. BOOM. Orange emotions disappeared. Gray happened.

Here’s what I wrote in my more personal, diary-of-sorts.

* I’m tired of feeling like a failure. I really, really am. I’m tired of watching everyone around me move forward while I move at a snail’s pace.

*I’m tired of so many interruptions in my schedule.

*I’m tired of being jealous of others, even when I know jealousy can be a useful indicator of what matters to me. Even when I know comparison is the thief of joy, it has been my reality this week, and I’m trying to honor it so I can work through it.

*I’m tired of seeing “understand your nervous system, manage your nervous system, it’s all about your nervous system!”

And “manifest more, manifest better, manifest clearer.” I know, I know, I know. And also, sometimes there is truly more to it. I’m drained. I’m trying.

* I’m tired of hearing everyone suggest I’m not doing it right or not doing enough. I know that is likely my mind playing tricks on me. But still, I feel criticized more than supported.

* I’m tired of being told, “be patient” and “it’s your busy season, your time will come” and “but you’re a stay-at-home mom and that matters.” YES. AND…

*I’m tired of parenting solo and all that comes with it.

*I’m tired of my stories, my histories, and all that got me to this parenting-solo bit. I have dreams I’m trying to make happen. Dreams beyond being a mom, because that is only one of my dreams. I have dreams that would fulfill me in other ways and, honestly, help make me a better mom. But right now? They feel really hard to make happen.

* I’m tired of having ADHD and a late diagnosis. Of learning how to manage it late while also raising boys with it and trying to help them understand it, process it, and manage it while I do the same.

* I’m tired of feeling alone and also, lonely. Of craving connection, nights out, more laughter. and also… Of knowing I need to reach out more. I need to connect more.

Of knowing some of my loneliness is on me… and also, some of it isn’t.

* I’m just tired.

But mostly?

Mostly I’m tired of knowing the logical, rational, mature answer to all these heavy, gray feelings. I know they will pass. I know I will get through them. I’m not a failure. I’m not stuck. I am making progress. I know my truth. I know my nervous system realities. I know my goals, my limiting beliefs, the stories I tell myself that aren’t helping.

I know all about mindset and that what we focus on grows, for better or for worse. I know I have good friends. I know I’m tired of parenting sometimes and also fully love it sometimes and will miss it when my boys fully move out. I know all the gray emotions can be true.

And I know all the orange emotions can be true too.

This morning, when I sat at my kitchen table not wanting to do a darn thing, I did what I did yesterday. I asked myself: What do I need to feel better right now? What will help me get going? Not forever. Just this moment. What one step can I take?

Yesterday, I got up and took a short walk. Around the house. And today, I made myself get on the treadmill. eMOTION is one of my favorite mnemonics I learned a few years ago.

Best way to change an emotion? MOTION.

And later today, if life feels overwhelming again, which it likely will as I go from doctor’s appointment to doctor’s appointment and feel unproductive while my to-do list plays in my head, I will do the thing people think is cheesy but is actually wicked effective.

I will remind myself of the 7 things I’ve learned that help me get unstuck: I’m not broken or alone. This will pass. I can handle this. I can give myself compassion. I only need to take one step. What do I need to feel more at ease? Gray doesn’t get to win. Let the orange stand out. Sending warmth,

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

I’m Tired of Being Resilient: What I Finally Told My Therapist

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Yesterday was a hard day. I finally shared with my therapist what I’ve been feeling since February; what’s been growing slowly but heavily. “This whole repeated skin c@ncer, now high-risk situation has me feeling depressed. It’s growing. I think we need to add it to the weekly topics. I’m tired of being resilient. Of laughing with my doctors that I’ll see them soon. I’m tired of coping. I’m tired of putting on a brave, I’m-fine face.

I’m tired of pretending I’m all good. I’m tired. So, so tired.” And I am. Situational depression isn’t new to me. I’ve been there. Here. I’ve let it linger for months. I’ve fought back.

After therapy, I went back to the couch and promptly slept from 10 to 3. Healing this go-around is seemingly harder. As I went in and out of sleep, a popular thought came to me. Repeatedly. “Depression is a liar.” Depression was trying to tell me that I’d have no energy for days to come. Depression was trying to tell me that I’d lost my groove altogether. Depression was trying to tell me that it would win. Ha!! My mind knows better.

It has learned better. It, I, fought back. I refused to go back to 2016, when depression did indeed win. I started to think… What if… What if I did something bold? Years ago, almost ten to be exact, when depression rolled in, I stayed hidden and didn’t share. I figured my way out eventually and came back online in 2022.

But what if this time, I don’t hide? What if this time, I keep writing? What if I share the tools I’m using while I’m using them?

Because here’s the thing. Depression isn’t always the big “D.” Sometimes it’s a little “d.” Sometimes it lasts for days. Or weeks. Or months. Or even years. And honestly, the tools I’ve learned to deal with the depression I face are the same tools I use when the gray in life hits in general. The heavy, blech moments that just happen because well, life happens. The ones that weigh things down. The ones that try to convince us we are stuck there.

And we all face those moments. Depression or not. I know they aren’t unique to me. Life is wonderful. It truly is. And also, life can weigh us down sometimes. I remembered yesterday — as my mind and I fought back the gray — that it is easier to begin feeling lighter when someone sees us. Shows up with us. For us. Yesterday, my fiancé sent me flowers celebrating an accomplishment I’m yet to share with all of you. Little did he know that seeing me, reminding me of the orange I’ve been working toward, would help me take one step forward.

One of my favorite tools. And honestly? One step forward counted. We are all in this together. When gray happens, we show up. With you. For you. For each other.

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Sending my warmth as always, xoxo, Sheila (Changed the order up today and soon it will make sense as to why it made sense today)

When Parenting Overwhelm Makes Sobriety Feel Hard

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Sometimes the hardest part of parenting isn’t the moment. It’s managing your own overwhelm when all you want to do is escape.

Last week, mine had me reaching for a glass of scotch after 450+ days sober. That’s when I knew just how overwhelmed I really was. Two of the three boys were hangry, hangry teenagers. I couldn’t breathe right. I couldn’t blink right. I couldn’t be anything… right. And yes, they are good kids having human moments.

I mean, I get hangry too and um my mood swings are fun at times. This said, I’ve parented from this philosophy for years: De-escalate, don’t elevate.

Don’t elevate emotions.
Don’t elevate tension.

Which also means: de-escalate, don’t evaluate.

Trying to assess what is actually going on, trying to figure out how to help them when they are amped up? Useless. Not gonna work.
Trying to “teach” them how to do better next time when they are amped? Also not gonna work. That will definitely just escalate.

I mean, try telling me how to better handle my emotions during a sudden moment of hormonal rage. Ask me how well I will listen and take in your lesson plan. Amirite?

So when they were stomping around the kitchen, nitpicking at each other, complaining about my meal (the one I was so excited to have made them) and my efforts to de-escalate were not working…

And I realized I was getting frustrated and starting to make things worse, so I left the room. I needed a break. Leaving the room was easy.

“I will not be treated this way.” Turn and walk away. Easy.

The hard part? I still felt all the overwhelm.
The sadness that we weren’t having a family dinner over a meal I thought they would love. The letdown. The clearly other emotions about other stuff I apparently wasn’t aware of.

On the way to the safety of my couch, I saw my fiancé’s glass of scotch. I guess I was bottling up more stress than I realized. I picked it up without hesitation.

What’s one sip? That doesn’t destroy my 450+ days of not drinking, right?

I immediately spit it out, poured the drink down the drain, and the tears fell. Dammit. Parenting is exhausting. I love my kids and still, it’s exhausting. They are human, they act human, and so I give them grace and still, it’s exhausting.

This happened last week. It had been a hard week. As I sat curled up on the couch, crying, letting all the stress out, I decided I needed to change clothes. I needed cozy. I needed to regulate myself so I could handle them better. So I could ooze out more comforting, chill vibes. Sweatshirt and sweatpants on, I returned to the kitchen.

They had fizzled out, thank goodness. One had left. The remaining one apologized, thanked me for going out of my way to make his favorite dinner and get cookies. The other one appeared shortly thereafter and said thank you for the cookies too. (Lol, not dinner. I knew it would be hit or miss with him.)

Walking away was the right thing.
Spitting out the scotch was the right thing.
Neither was easy.

Naturally, I decided to take a picture. The one who hadn’t lost his shite with me saw the glass. “MOM! What are you doing? Put that down! You aren’t drinking.” Oh bless my heart. He was so worried I had taken a drink. That moment made spitting out the scotch, made deciding to be sober, worth it. One of the reasons I’ve chosen to be sober is to show my kids that life is okay without alcohol; that it is not needed to numb during hard times.

My son witnessed it in action. May he remember this. And may I keep remembering that I can do it because honestly? Seeing how quickly I wanted to numb when parenting hurt so badly… when I hurt so much… even after 450+ days? That’s why I personally have chosen to be sober. I know I need to be.

Sending my warmth and a little extra oomph to you all today and always,

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Perimenopause or Just Life? Why I’m Tired of Blaming Hormones for Everything

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I’ve been getting flustered lately. Like…surprisingly easily flustered. I know, I know. Hormones. Perimenopause. What if I told you I’m tired of blaming perimenopause for everything? (lol, not just, I’m tired, that’s a given!) Hear me out.

When I was in elementary school, I had a saying. I have absolutely, positively no idea where it came from. It wasn’t my parents or a teacher. Not even a coach. I just said it one day and it stuck. “I don’t mind complaining, as long as you’re gonna do something about it. Complain to me all you want, but then you gotta act.” Apparently ten-year-old me was onto something.

Because I gotta be honest. When I keep blaming perimenopause — and then don’t actually change anything — I don’t feel better. I still feel frustrated with myself, my mood, and everything within a two foot radius. Make that one foot. And before everyone says to give myself grace (and you all know I’m all for giving myself and others grace)… I gotta be even more honest. There comes a point where giving myself grace becomes a crutch, an excuse.

I know. A little rhino tough. Hear me out again. There’s a difference between grace and avoidance. So, back to where this whole post started. Lately, I’ve been flipping out faster than I’d like. Overwhelmed in a light-switch kind of way. Fine one minute. Not fine the next. Are hormones part of it? Probably. Yes.

But I also know this: My nervous system is fried. I’m not prioritizing feeling at ease the way I could be. The caffeine isn’t helping (although my Costa Rica coffee really is excellent and is there anything better than a perfect Diet Coke, mini sized of course.) And yes, I need to make the appointment to at least explore HRT, even if the answer ends up being no for me. Hormones may be part of the story.

But they’re not the whole story. And I don’t want to shrug and just say, “oh well, there’s nothing I can do until my hormones are under control.” I don’t want to give myself a pass when I know I could be doing things to help myself. I know this is a wee bit more direct and blunt than I normally write. I’m writing them to myself with love actually — and from a place of strength. Along with these sudden mini-sized-panic attacks becoming a thing, Sheila getting her groove back is most definitely a thing.

And my spine 😉 When I started writing in 2012 about learning to yell less, I wrote without much fear. It was freeing. Then somewhere along the way, I shrank. Truly. I’ve been crawling out since 2018 ish. Last month was Fearless February. I’m going to carry that feeling all of 2026. I think you’re going to find that I’m writing a little more bluntly from here on out. It’s just so much more freeing to be less concerned with what people think 😉 and more concerned with attracting the right kind of people to this community.

I mentioned yesterday that I’ve got things in the works. I do. Like, I want 20-year-old energy Sheila who didn’t need sleep so I can easily raise my kiddos and launch my secret projects. I am *that* excited. Since that’s not happening lol, I’m gonna need a crash (a group of rhinos) behind me to make everything happen when I’m ready.

So yes, I want this place to grow. I used to be afraid to admit that. Afraid to admit that I want to take up space. Not anymore. It’s a new month, by the way. New month, new word. No fancy word this month. March speaks for itself. I’m MARCHing forward, one step at a time.

Sending my warmth to you today and always,

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Why We Say “I’m Fine” When We’re Absolutely Not

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Do you ever pretend you’re fine… when you’re absolutely not? (Rhetorical question) I have a serious case of the “I’m fine’s” right now. You know the ones: “I’m fine, really.” “It’s no big deal.” “I’m good. It’s all good.” (Andy Grammer may be good. But if I’m being honest with myself, honey I’m not good) Why is it so hard to just say: “Yeah… today sucked.” “I know I’ll be okay, but right now? This stinks.” “I’m frustrated. I thought I’d feel better by now.” Like seriously, why can’t I just be totally honest with others more often?

When my best friend called the other night and said, “Sheil!!! Why didn’t you tell me you were having another procedure?” My answer? “I didn’t want to be a burden.” Oof.

Here’s the truth: I’ve been told before that I’m “too much.” That I’m “seeking attention.” That I “just want to be sick.” So somewhere along the way, I taught myself: Keep it in. Say you’re fine. Don’t inconvenience anyone. Even though I know I can trust my real friends… Even though I know I can share my shite sandwiches… I still struggle. I’m re-teaching my brain that I can share the hard stuff. That I can be “not fine” and also know “I will be fine” at the same time.

Practice is exhausting. But it’s working. Every day I accept the gray a little more and still create orange anyway. Every day I practice being real with myself. Some days go better than others.

But most days? I feel lighter. I want us all to feel that way today. I want to try something. If this applies to you, drop one honest “not fine” truth in the comments. Just one. And let’s reply to each other with actual support. No fixing. No minimizing. Just: “I see you” or some other loving message.” I have a feeling a lot of us are carrying something quietly. Let’s all feel a little bit better today, together.

Sending my warmth to all of you, especially those who aren’t feeling fine and also (understandably) don’t feel comfortable yet sharing with others. I see you. I get it.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

When You Feel Stuck, Unmotivated and Tired of Pep Talks

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I have two alternatives for you if you are feeling stuck. It took me this entire post to get to the second one, but hey, at least I got there!

I’m feeling stuck.
I’m having a hard time getting motivated.
I’m having a hard time making decisions.
I’m exhausted from giving myself pep talks and remembering mindset hacks.
I’m worn down from writing publicly, from being judged by an algorithm everyday and from worrying that my “being me” is “too negative, too really, not bubbly or positive enough to survive in social media.”

Being stuck is often seen as a big ‘ole negative. I know I often experience it as such. But here’s something I just realized this morning. –>What if I’m meant to be stuck right now? What if I’m struggling to move forward because the path I had set myself on was not the right path? What if my body, my brain, my everything knows that the path I have chosen is not actually the one that will bring me the most fulfillment? A life that feels the most aligned?

What if being stuck, spiraling out on some days, struggling, isn’t seen as a bad thing, but rather an okay thing, a helpful sign to stop and look closer? (You know, No-yeah-mber) What if the gray is actually a good thing? –>What if being stuck is seen as a big, bright, flashing sign that says, “HOLD ON. TIME OUT. Being stuck is simply giving you a chance to take a break, re-group, and plan your next intentional step instead of just roboting your way through life?”

Being stuck doesn’t have to stink, it is an opportunity to sit and think. Things get stuck in life for a reason (a jar lid that’s too tight, a puzzle piece that doesn’t actually fit, a car in a traffic jam because there’s just too many cars.) When stuck (gray) happens, things need patience and a little extra attention, a little extra effort, to get unstuck.

So extra patience, attention, and effort I will give to my so-called “stuckness.” I’m stuck –> I’m sitting –> I’m thinking –> I’m accepting –> I’m reflecting –> I’m realizing I will figure it out and feel a little lighter in due time. Is this easy? No. Do I feel answers bubbling to the surface? Yes. Do I think I need to quit it all and take an entirely different path? No. Do I feel like I need to adjust my focus, my energy, the balance of my time? Yeah, I do.

My heart knows the answer. I need to find a bit more courage to follow it. –> Can you relate to the last statement? Any of these statements? Which ones? Feeling stuck isn’t fun but it doesn’t have to stink and it definitely isn’t permanent. Remembering these two bits isn’t easy; nor is finding the courage to step out of it. I see you as you do all the hard work and experience the range of emotions that go with it.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you are sitting and thinking today (instead of being “stuck”)

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

When You’re the Glue Holding Everyone Together — and You’re Exhausted

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A very personal, transparent post.

You know how sometimes you hold it together because you have to?

Because if you let go, something will fall and break?

Because if you stop moving, everything will come to a screeching halt and crash?

Because if you show your real feelings, others will reel in pain?

Because if you aren’t the glue, everyone comes undone and that is worse than being the glue?

So therefore, you aren’t really holding it together because you have to, but because you CHOOSE to, because you know it is the right thing to do, for the moment, for the season.

Well, I have chosen to hold it together for at least eight years, arguably thirteen. There have been moments where I have sighed and had some relief. Moments where I *gasp* dared to think to myself, “Yes, this is it. I’m done holding it together. We’re in the clear.” Hardy, har, har, har. NOT! I realized Thursday morning that those moments? They weren’t really as full as I thought. Thursday morning I realized what an enormous weight I’ve been carrying around all these years.

One of loneliness. Exhaustion. Doubt. Worry. Oh, oh such an intense worry. Sadness. Pain. It is a weight that comes with having a child that is neurodivergent and not widely accepted. (I write that with 100% approval and encouragement by my child by the way.) And this morning, I realize there are weights I carry in being a mom of divorce. Weights I hadn’t fully acknowledged to myself. Weights I cannot write about. Weights I need to work to put down because they are equally exhausting and equally filling me with fear.

I’m tired, my friends. Not just because I recently had shingles. But because of the weights I carry. It is no surprise that I got shingles twice within 8 months. Stress brought it on, I have no doubt. The pressures in my life right now, the demands, are immense. They are (mostly) easy to see and can be managed. They are just A LOT. They take a lot of time, planning, and mental management.

And they are compounded by the invisible stressors, the invisible weights we carry. The invisible weights are so much harder to manage. They can only be managed when we do the work to acknowledge them…FULLY. Like fully, fully.

But let’s be real…it can be hard to do so because they are sooo heavy and yucky. Thursday morning I found myself EXHAUSTED beyond words. I was so confused as to why. I slept well. The night before had been GLORIOUS. Beautiful. Hopeful. Incredible beyond words. It was then I realized all the “mental weight” I had been carrying for thirteen years regarding my son. All the weight I had not fully acknowledged on a deep, deep level…because I couldn’t.

Wednesday night my incredible, neurodivergent son was honored as an “Unsung Hero” in our community. One senior per high school in our county was selected.

He was seen for more than his “label.” He was seen for who he truly is. He was seen for who he is today and how far he has come. He was seen for his heart, his compassion, his resilience. He was seen in a way so many people don’t dare to see him, because they are stuck in the past, they are stuck on labels. He made it. We made it.

And actually, he didn’t just make it. He friggin’ crushed it and then some. He inspired people along the way. He’s changed lives. He is a beacon of hope. Truly. Thursday morning I finally put down one heck of a heavy weight. And my body has collapsed in exhaustion. I will share more as I recover. I have run a marathon with this dear child in ways I haven’t shared. It takes a toll.

But I have held it together because I had to, because I chose to. And I have kept it all in to mostly myself, because if I dared to fully acknowledge what I felt, I wouldn’t have kept running alongside my son, cheering for him and he needed a cheerleader. I gladly played that role; as we all do for our children. I always believed in him, even when others didn’t.

Yesterday was admitted college student’s day. He is becoming a special education teacher. As he says, it is his turn to give back to others, the way a few very special teachers gave to him. 

Recovery is a beautiful journey. It can be equally long and exhausting though because you must still heal from the past. Because you must let go of your past identity and embrace your new identity. I am rebuilding. I am breaking through. And I am exhausted.

And I still have other weights to put down…not to mention the new weights I gained yesterday as I accepted that come fall I will be letting him fly as a college student. This mom’s heart is oh so proud and oh so heavy and oh so light at the same time. This woman’s heart is oh so hopeful and oh so heavy and oh so light at the same time. And hence, she is exhausted. And coming a little undone;) And that is okay. It is more than okay.

There are seasons to hold it together and there are seasons to not. Both are beautiful and have their purpose. Where are you?

Here’s to breaking down, re-building and breaking through to where we want to go and who we want to be.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you too know the feeling of carrying extra weight because of some extra parenting – or life – challenges. With so much love, understanding, and encouragement,

xoxo, Sheila


🧡 The Orange Rhino

Why Burnout Advice Can Feel Like the Last Thing You Need

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I was scrolling social media last night (numbing myself if I’m gonna be totally honest) and stopped suddenly. A post about “how to avoid burnout” really ticked me off. It was well intentioned. Had great ideas. And yet, it just rubbed me the wrong way.

Maybe it was my state of mind since I’m doing everything I can to avoid burnout as we speak and the last thing I needed right then was to read about how to avoid it.

I wanted to be seen.
Supported.
Listened to.
Understood.
I wanted everything “burning me out” to disappear.
I didn’t want to do more; I wanted everything causing me stress to go the blippidy blip away!

Which made me think. There is a self-care message that I feel isn’t said enough, especially in the social media world. (Wait, is there even another world of communication these days?) Maybe the message is out there but I don’t see it because I’m just bitter because I know in my heart I don’t “do self-care” well enough and I feel “shamed” by all the “you should do these things” messages.

Or maybe I miss the one message I seek because I’m just bitter because my life isn’t as “easy” as others who are able to “do” all the “self-care” things one “should” do to feel good as they take on modern day challenges.

Or maybe, it’s that I’m down to earth, and honest, and real, and I want people who are struggling, overwhelmed, tired, craving a break, really near burnout and in need of all these “self-care” suggestions (like me!) to feel really seen and not inadvertently shamed.

Most likely, it’s all of the above (as it always is of course!) The message? Actually messages, that I wish I saw more of?

(1) You can do everything you are “supposed” to do to avoid burnout, to take care of yourself, and still burnout. Maybe not total, complete burnout, but close enough.

And it isn’t because you failed or did a lousy job at “self-care” it’s because there are simply seasons that are overwhelmingly, massively HARD. They are so hard that the hits just keep coming at a rate faster than your well-intentioned self care actions can overcome. Again, it isn’t for your lack of trying or because you’re broken that you burnout. It’s because life can be unrelenting sometimes. So you do your best and love yourself fiercely through all the challenges; that is the ultimate self-care that will keep you going.

(2) All of these supposed ways to avoid burnout: – Set boundaries – Incorporate healthy sleep habits, exercise habits, etc… – Make life simple – Connect with friends Well they take time to learn so it’s not as easy as “do these things and you won’t burn out!” So again, let’s be kind to ourselves as we work to “not burnout.” But also, as you learn them, you might burn out along the way.

See point one once more 🙂

Also, once again, there are simply seasons where these can be hard!

When I tore my ACL? Yeah buh-bye sleep and exercise and simple life and HELLLO burnout. Divorce? Lost friends, sleep out the door, lost energy to remember to do the other things. HELLLLO burnout.

Do you see where I’m going? Again, loving ourselves through the hard is the ultimate self-care and yet, and YET that too is so hard to do sometimes because it’s also a skill that for some of us takes time to learn.

I “may or may not” have had some unkind things to say to myself last night. I’d like to blame my hormones but…I also know I can be kinder to myself and should be.

So I guess the third message? The one I really would have loved?

(3) Hey there. I see you scrolling. My guess is you are close to burn out. I know you’re working hard. Doing all the things to avoid burnout. To feel good. To parent well. To live well. To be well. To love well. It’s A LOT of work, I know.

Because right now life is A LOT of work. Some days I bet it feels like a battle, a battle I bet you wish would just get easier. Keep doing whatever little bit you can do today – it does make a difference. I’m thinking of you. I’m not going to tell you what to do to avoid burnout; you already know.

And I know you are trying so hard. I’m just going to tell you I’m here, with you, lending my hand if you need help. (Oh but I will tell you to be kind to yourself because I’m pretty sure you might be forgetting that part right now.) Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if this post resonated with you,

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Back-to-School Overwhelm: When Everyone’s Emotions Are Bouncing Off the Walls

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This was me. Last night. Trying not to lose my holy loving mind. Last night = second to last night before senior year, junior year, freshman year (hello new school) and eighth grade start. Last night equaled total and utter, well, I don’t even have the words. Everyone was bouncing off. of. the. walls. and their emotions right there with ’em.

Excitement for a new year.

Stress from getting everything ready (finishing summer work included!)

Anxiety from the transition of summer to school, the land of work and more responsibility (and double transition, so double anxiety for my freshman as he starts a new school).

Sadness that summer is wrapping up and there was one week of amazing and a bunch of other weeks of eh. Summer 2024 was what it was. As JLo said, “Oh, it was a summer.” I share ALL of the emotions plus a few hundred more;) Okay, maybe just a few more.

Sadness and worry are at the top of my list. I’m feeling so bummed that summer vacation is over. I’m often like, “when does school start?” but not this year. I have never wanted to freeze time and also add time more in my life. The fall = mega stress and I am simply not ready for it. Not. One. Iota. And worry? Oh I am worried for each of my boys for different reasons. Not nervous, but mama worried, like my heart hurts worried, and back to school is kicking it up too many notches to count.

So as they bounced off the wall, I REALLY wanted to join them, but tried ever so hard to be the non-bouncy one. But oh, oh it got to a point where it was just too much.

So I took this picture instead of losing it. You know, “capture the moment, capture the yell.” The photo made me laugh. My kids were all, “what is she doing?” Three of them were literally standing around me, ALL talking to me at once as I started to take the selfie.

After I took the picture, I somewhat successfully encouraged everyone to each take some “lets each chill by ourselves” time. It settled everyone down for a little bit. Emphasis on little:) But it was something.

And I needed that little something. So did they. Today will be as overwhelming to my nervous system as last night. And tonight will be worse. Heck, this week is gonna be tough. Knowing this though, is a win. It makes it all easier as I can plan to (1) take care of myself so I’m in a good place and quasi ready to deal and (2) manage the expected triggers like exhausted kids, hangry kids, and adjustment to a new schedule and having to rush.

Here’s to knowing the challenges and being able to therefore mentally prepare for them the best we can. Do you have a challenge you are preparing for this week?

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and also wishing everyone in the U.S. a Happy Labor Day.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

* not the best of picture of me lol, but woefully accurate of how I felt