I was scrolling social media last night (numbing myself if I’m gonna be totally honest) and stopped suddenly. A post about “how to avoid burnout” really ticked me off. It was well intentioned. Had great ideas. And yet, it just rubbed me the wrong way.
Maybe it was my state of mind since I’m doing everything I can to avoid burnout as we speak and the last thing I needed right then was to read about how to avoid it. I wanted to be seen. Supported. Listened to. Understood. I wanted everything “burning me out” to disappear. I didn’t want to do more; I wanted everything causing me stress to go the blippidy blip away!
Which made me think. There is a self-care message that I feel isn’t said enough, especially in the social media world. (Wait, is there even another world of communication these days?) Maybe the message is out there but I don’t see it because I’m just bitter because I know in my heart I don’t “do self-care” well enough and I feel “shamed” by all the “you should do these things” messages.
Or maybe I miss the one message I seek because I’m just bitter because my life isn’t as “easy” as others who are able to “do” all the “self-care” things one “should” do to feel good as they take on modern day challenges.
Or maybe, it’s that I’m down to earth, and honest, and real, and I want people who are struggling, overwhelmed, tired, craving a break, really near burnout and in need of all these “self-care” suggestions (like me!) to feel really seen and not inadvertently shamed.
Most likely, it’s all of the above (as it always is of course!) The message? Actually messages, that I wish I saw more of?
(1) You can do everything you are “supposed” to do to avoid burnout, to take care of yourself, and still burnout. Maybe not total, complete burnout, but close enough.
And it isn’t because you failed or did a lousy job at “self-care” it’s because there are simply seasons that are overwhelmingly, massively HARD. They are so hard that the hits just keep coming at a rate faster than your well-intentioned self care actions can overcome. Again, it isn’t for your lack of trying or because you’re broken that you burnout. It’s because life can be unrelenting sometimes. So you do your best and love yourself fiercely through all the challenges; that is the ultimate self-care that will keep you going.
(2) All of these supposed ways to avoid burnout: – Set boundaries – Incorporate healthy sleep habits, exercise habits, etc… – Make life simple – Connect with friends Well they take time to learn so it’s not as easy as “do these things and you won’t burn out!” So again, let’s be kind to ourselves as we work to “not burnout.” But also, as you learn them, you might burn out along the way.
See point one once more 🙂
Also, once again, there are simply seasons where these can be hard!
When I tore my ACL? Yeah buh-bye sleep and exercise and simple life and HELLLO burnout. Divorce? Lost friends, sleep out the door, lost energy to remember to do the other things. HELLLLO burnout.
Do you see where I’m going? Again, loving ourselves through the hard is the ultimate self-care and yet, and YET that too is so hard to do sometimes because it’s also a skill that for some of us takes time to learn.
I “may or may not” have had some unkind things to say to myself last night. I’d like to blame my hormones but…I also know I can be kinder to myself and should be.
So I guess the third message? The one I really would have loved?
(3) Hey there. I see you scrolling. My guess is you are close to burn out. I know you’re working hard. Doing all the things to avoid burnout. To feel good. To parent well. To live well. To be well. To love well. It’s A LOT of work, I know.
Because right now life is A LOT of work. Some days I bet it feels like a battle, a battle I bet you wish would just get easier. Keep doing whatever little bit you can do today – it does make a difference. I’m thinking of you. I’m not going to tell you what to do to avoid burnout; you already know.
And I know you are trying so hard. I’m just going to tell you I’m here, with you, lending my hand if you need help. (Oh but I will tell you to be kind to yourself because I’m pretty sure you might be forgetting that part right now.) Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if this post resonated with you,
xoxo, Sheila
🧡 The Orange Rhino
