Tag Archives: Vacation

When Your College Kid Comes Home and the Transition Is Hard for Everyone

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I knew it would happen. And it did. Sometimes I hate being right. As much fun as I had picking up my college kiddo from the airport and having dinner together that night, I want to share another truth. Having him home was hard. For both of us. He (mostly) likes college better. He has friends there. No “quiet hours.” No expectations from me—directly at least;) Here, well… We all had school or work the next day so he had to be uber quiet at night.

And since the renovation, I’ve been slowly putting everything away. So he came home to a house where he suddenly didn’t know where any of the important stuff was. Phone chargers. Pens, pencils. Silverware. It was frustrating for him—to feel out of place. Literally and metaphorically. And honestly? It hurt a little for me too. I also wished he felt more at ease here, at home. Like he used to. You know, in the “before college” days. (Shite, those wet things on my face again.) It’s a strange feeling when your child comes home… and home to them feels different…and you know things are just no longer the same. Not bad, just changed.

Still, there were warm moments. We watched a new cooking show together. The next night, at his request, I made the meal from it and we both loved it. (Street tacos. O.M.G. Amazing recipe. This never would have happened before college, so there’s one, okay of many, upsides.) I introduced him to my mocktail, which he loved. We walked the dog together. It wasn’t all hard. By Saturday he was finally settling in… just in time for him to spend his last day home working on a school paper.

And that’s when the disappointment in myself started to creep in. I knew when I dropped him back at college the next day, I’d be bummed that I hadn’t been as present during his time home as I wanted to be. That I’d be bummed that I’d been frustrated when he’d been frustrated. I was also bummed that our time together was so short to begin with. He spent half the week in Florida with his dad (as he should) and his new friends.

At the same time, I was so happy he went on a trip with them, had a blast, and found a new level of confidence. Enough confidence to go skydiving. And yes, that was a long half hour waiting for the phone call that he was fine lol.

I know this is the new spring break normal. Trips with friends. I think this is one of the quieter heartbreaks of parenting older kids. They either come home on breaks, but not quite in the same way. Or they choose friends. Either way, you’re grateful they’re growing, gosh you are so grateful, and you’re happy they’re healthy and happy…but you’re also missing what was. Just because I know this doesn’t make it easier though.

Likewise, I know this summer, when he transitions home again, it’ll be bumpy at first. That doesn’t make it easier either. Knowing does help me plan ahead though. Not worry… just create some workarounds to ease the easing back into home.

Yesterday morning, I made him pancakes and bacon one more time. Then I drove him back to his second home. It wasn’t even a few minutes into my drive back home before I got this text: “I love you mom. I already miss you. I had a great time watching the cooking show with you. I love you so much and you’re a great mom.” Exactly the dose of orange I needed to make it home without bawling my eyes out. LOL. I pulled in the driveway and another message from him popped up.

It’s in the comments (assuming I can figure out how to share it haha) Cue the tears. Oh life… you sure are full of grorange. Parents of older kids… did this stage catch you off guard too?

Sending my warmth and a little oomph to you all today and always,

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

I Miss the Old Me: How I’m Finding My Way Back to the Parts of Myself I Love

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Somedays, I miss the “old me.” The one who once wore a Shrek costume, stood in the elementary school drop-off lane, and welcomed everyone (and I mean everyone) to school. It was Halloween. I was leading the play and wanted a fun way to promote the kick-off meeting. No hesitation. No shame. Absolutely zero fear. 100% courage and “what do I have to lose?” I’ve also used to be a live auctioneer at fundraisers. I once stood in front of most of my company, mic in hand, spotlight on, and called out my Chief Marketing Officer to raise his bid.

I was 22. Maybe 23. Not even a year on the job. Talk about courage — or audacity. Your call. I still laugh at the fact that I did that. Like, seriously Sheil?! Some days I wonder where that girl has gone. (News flash: she hasn’t gone anywhere. She’s just been on vacation. Rumor has it she’s boarding the flight home. Hopefully she will stay a wee bit longer this time.) Seriously though — she’s not fully here right now, as I type out this post.

Because I’m oddly nervous. Afraid to take a very simple step. With people who aren’t even my boss. (Okay. We can call it what it is. Fear of rejection. Fear of officially taking a step forward. So…we’ll add fear of failure to that list.) So I’m borrowing a little Shrek-level boldness and auctioneer confidence and going for it.

Also known as, Orange Rhino-ness (Just came up with the word. I like it. It stays.) –> I’m looking for 5–10 women who’d be willing to help me as I prepare to wear one of my new “hats” this spring. If that sounds fun — or even mildly intriguing — and you’re willing to publicly share a photo, comment below and send me a message. That way I won’t miss it (hi, ADHD!) If more than 10 reach out, I’ll randomly choose. Happy Tuesday!

And happy me literally wearing a hat again after a week. Even if I couldn’t properly rest it on my head lol.

Sending my warmth, today and always.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Why the Same Gray Day Can Feel Completely Different Depending on What You Need

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It always amazes me how I can feel two totally opposite emotions in the same situation. Take a gray, gloomy morning for example. If this were the summer, and I was on vacation, and I woke up to this weather? Blech. Boo! No thank you!! I want the sunshine! But since it is fall and almost winter? And my body is craving hibernation, calm, quiet? Since life has been loud? Since I have so much to do and need to be inspired to not really leave the house except to walk the dog?!

Oh gloomy gray mornings please come find me! Of course, since I’m me, when I realized this, it made me think of the gray moments in life.

The stressful ones (um, how am I going to get my house in order by Wednesday night?)
The worrisome ones (um, first semester college kiddo, kiddo applying to college, freshman in high school, and the sophomore in high school, all having their own gray moments.)
The heavy ones (can’t even go there now, too many to list, but I’ll add finances, life changes, concerns for lots of others.)
The complicated ones (dreams, goals, hormones!!!)

If gray weather can elicit two responses in me (yes please and no thank you…) then gray moments, gray emotions can too, right?

Yes. Maybe not instantly, in that same precise moment, but eventually, at my own pace. For those new here, I’m anti toxic-positivity. To be clear, I’m not anti-positivity. I’m just not for being so positive that real feelings are overlooked, dismissed. You know, the gray ones. There is a big difference.

I’m pro Grorange 🙂 I’m pro “Living the Grorange Life.” I wrote that the other day and liked it. or “Living The Orange Rhino Life.” Either or. I’m pro: acknowledge the gray, feel the gray, move through the gray, so you can see the orange and feel the orange. I’ve always been that way, even as a kid. –> This part of me was never understood and honestly, never really accepted. “Just be positive!” I was told.

But I was being positive…I was just also feeling the other feelings, first. Which is normal. And healthy. And okay. I wasn’t dwelling. I was moving through so I could fully feel the good stuff too. Otherwise the gray heavy emotions would just linger.

So yeah, I’m pro “Living the Grorange Life.” I wrote that the other day and liked it. or “Living The Orange Rhino Life.” Either or. And lol, in true Sheila fashion, don’t even know how I got here in this post. Not planned. Anywho, today until Wednesday night is a mad dash of unpacking. The kitchen renovation led to re-doing the floors on the entire first floor.

When they were installed in 2007, they were done wrong. They were fixed twice afterwards and nothing worked. My ex and I lived with it knowing it would have to be fixed. With the kitchen newly done, my fiancé and I realized now was the time to fix the entire first floor since so much furniture and what not was already packed and out.

Bottom line?! Kitchen is unpacked 100% But the dining room?! The family room? Our living room/my office? HAHAHA. This girl has work to do. And don’t forget dusting. Gotta dust. The gray that keeps trying to derail me and invite me to just sit and do nothing????

So much work –> Overwhelm. The orange? I’m feeling grateful and excited. The gray? Did I mention I don’t know how it will get done? The dust is getting to my asthma? I’m tired and overwhelmed???! The orange? I just keep telling myself to pick up one thing, one box at a time and to keep going. Either way, gonna show up and get it done. Here I go. What are you doing today? Traveling? Shopping? Resting? Flying to NJ to come help me?!

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you are feeling only the Gray in “The Grorange Life” today. That’s okay. It’s part of it. The Orange will come. There’s no rush.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

“You Have to Live to Live”: Why New Experiences Make Me Feel More Alive

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“You have to live, to live.” ~ The Orange Rhino® (or, if someone said it well before me and I just don’t know, then well, them.)

For some reason, this saying has been on repeat in my mind since the Superbowl. As I watched the commercials, my brain began churning, thinking about consumer behavior and the geniuses behind several concepts. I began to feel a little more excited and energized than earlier in the day. I distinctly remember thinking, “You have to live, to live.” How did I remember this?

Well simple, I wrote it down on a post it note. I remember writing it and thinking, well duh. But I also remember thinking, “well clearly you are writing it down because it impacted you so maybe not so duh.” Yes, I didn’t want to forget the saying, what it meant to me, and how I felt in that moment.

What it meant? Girl, you have to get out and do things, new things; things you love, things you miss; things that wake up your brain; things that make you grow, reflect; things out of the ordinary, mundane, everyday routine.

You need to live your life, not just go through it. And when you live it, actually live it by doing things in it – then you will find that you are actually, actively, living.

How I felt? ALIVE. Really, alive.

And it felt awesome. I felt energized. Joyful. Peaceful. Uplifted. Excited.

I felt the same way – and remember that saying – when I read a book a month or so on a quick vacation. The book had new ideas for self growth that got me thinking instead of just going along with status-quo about my life. I felt energized, hopeful, ready to try some new things.

I felt alive this past week when I stayed in a hotel for just one night with my son. Just one night, two hours from our home. We arrived and I had so much energy from being in a new place and from having just had dinner in a new type of pizza place.

I felt alive the next day, when we went exploring and had breakfast at this cute place and the walls reminded us to “start each day as if it were our birthday.” Yes! Start each day with joy and the extra pep in your step that *usually* comes with a birthday.

I felt alive just yesterday when I made myself put the monotonous house chores aside so that I could enjoy the rare, beautiful 80 degree day. We went shopping for some new plants and I researched different peonies and grasses. I then planted while listening to the birds.

And I felt alive last week when I chatted with the lady at CVS (see post from Saturday morning.) Anytime I have a random, kind interaction with a stranger or share a compliment, I feel alive. I want to live more. I want to be more intentional with my time. It is so, so easy to get into a standard routine. To not take breaks. To not nourish our minds or bodies with things we love or even new experiences. To just go about our days, quasi-really living, quasi just going through the motions.

I know. I do the quasi-really living a lot. Way more than I like. But everytime I really live, everytime I do something beyond the daily motions, I ask myself, why are you not doing this more? Why do you let yourself slip into the routine? It’s a great question.

But the bigger, perhaps better question, and easier to answer, is… What will I do today to feel like I really lived? To feel alive? To feel excited? To feel like I used the day well? What will you do? Just some Monday morning deep thoughts for ya;) Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always,

oxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino