When Life Gets Ridiculous, Sometimes I Choose to Laugh

Posted on January 28, 2026 by The Orange Rhino

Honestly? I had to laugh. The other option was collapsing into a puddle of tears — from frustration, pain, annoyance, and full-on are you kidding me — and it just didn’t feel appealing. Not because crying is bad. You all know I cry. But because the situation was so ridiculous, I was past tears. Sunday night. Nearly a foot of snow. School already canceled. And somehow… I sliced the tip of my finger. You know, the place that never stops bleeding.

I’ve cut my hand once in my life. I’m pretty good with knives in the kitchen. Now I question that. No stitches were happening in a snow/ice storm, so I did what any rational person does: applied pressure, searched for “New Skin” that apparently vanished from my house, ignored good judgment and kept making fajitas (oops), and then texted every neighbor. Every husband replied: “Just use super glue.” Um…I’ve heard of that, but seriously?!

Even my fiancé was on board with the idea. Desperate measures? A neighbor saved the day. I trekked through unplowed snow, glued the finger, applied athletic tape (another suggestion) and somehow made it through without stitches. I’m grateful. I truly did not and do not have time for another doctor’s appointment. And to add a little lightness — I almost did end up in a puddle… not of tears, but of something else. I still struggle not to pee when I laugh too hard.

Now that is one doctor’s appointment I can’t wait to get to this month! Eech! So excited?! (How odd is that?!) Four kids later and here we are. Happy Wednesday. I hope you laugh a little today — and maybe don’t pee at the same time. Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Dropping My College Kid Off Again: Why Goodbye Still Hurt

Posted on October 25, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

I did not expect to respond the way I did. I thought it would be easy, seamless, but it wasn’t. I mean it was, until I was alone. Then it hit me hard. Since I dropped my son at college in August, I’ve had the privilege of seeing him four times before this past weekend! Granted one of those was the ER visit, and all were quick visits, but still, they were touch points. They were moments to see him, tell him I love him, laugh together, share a meal, care for him, etc.

I left each time feeling okay, so it was easy. I surprised myself each time I left. I didn’t cry, not even a tear. My son was thriving, happy, so I felt happy, good. But yesterday, something hit different and I cried the minute I got in my minivan to drive home. Maybe it was because this time as we drove up to campus – arriving together from our home, he said, “ah, feels good to be back home.” Ouch.

And also, yes. There was so much truth in his statement, and it was a statement he should feel, that I would want him to feel. I so very much want him to feel that the college he chose feels like home. Home *should* feel safe, welcoming, supportive, loving, fun and for my son, his college experience currently feels like home, and that is a mother’s dream come true. But it also hurts, a good hurt because he is good, but a sad one too, you know?

A total grorange moment. Sad because it reminds me of the truth of where we are in life; of the changing season. It reminds me that he now spends more time away from me, than with me. It reminds me that he now is on his own, as he should be, and that our togetherness is just different. Not bad, just different.

It reminds me of all the doubts I still carry about the times we had in our *home*

Did I get it right? (Is there even a right? Yes and no.)
Did I do good? (I did my best and still try, we all do.)
Did I do enough? (I did what I could with what I knew at the time, with what energy I had under the circumstances, at the time.)
Did I create a home that was just as happy to come home to as he feels about college? (I know not a fair comparison, I can’t and won’t compare to college friends!)
Did I create a home that felt safe, loving, welcoming, supportive, and all the good things a home should be? (I sure as heck tried and think I did an okay job. That I feel confident saying.)
Did I show up for him the way I wanted to as a mom? (Yes and no, but when I think of the no, I also think of how I then made changes and that counts. None of us are perfect.)

So yeah, lol a simple drop off yesterday was quite emotional afterwards. Who knew. –>That’s the thing. Big emotions, you never know when they are going to just appear. Gray Happens folks and that’s okay.

We still show up and work through ’em. Let’s be real, we show up because what’s the alternative? It’s one we don’t want. Ignoring the gray bites us in the arse later on, leaves us feeling even heavier, so showing is a good choice, even if it kinda stinks in the moment.

We show up because that’s who we are; because we choose to even though it’s hard. We choose to show up because we are determined to work through the gray – whatever it is, grief, challenges, obstacles, heavy emotions, feeling blech, light emotions, whatever – so we can get to feeling better, lighter.

So yep, I sat there, processing, wondering, questioning, enjoying the sun on my face as I cried softly, college kids walking by no doubt seeing me. Oh well. Eventually I was done:) I started the car and headed to the nearest 7-11 to get a diet coke and peanut m&m’s for my drive home, my go-to comfort foods for the longish drive. They feel like home to me;) A little while into my drive home, I called my kiddo, told him I loved him, how proud I was of him and how happy I am that he feels at home at college.

It was all true, even if the truth also feels a little sad. Grorange. Both/and. When Gray Happens, We Show Up. However you wanna say it. It’s all true. It felt good to talk to him. And no lie, it also felt good to come home to just 3 kids because I miss my oldest and also, 3 kids is easier in some ways! Oh the complexities of life;) How about you? How are you feeling today? Gray and charge-y? Orange and all warm and fuzzy and determined?

Gr—>orange? All of the above?

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you too are feeling a little off, but also perhaps a little lighter, after spending fall break with your kiddo.

xoxo Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

How to Make More Room for Fun When Life Becomes All Go-Go-Go

Posted on September 28, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

I realized something kinda major yesterday –> I’m not having as much fun as I’d like lately. Part of me wanted to wait to share this until tomorrow when more people will see this post but part of me also wants to reach who I can today because it’s Sunday and Sunday is the perfect day to receive this message. I’m *hoping* your Sunday is mostly open without work and therefore a lot of opportunity to hear this message and act accordingly.

Or even weekends when the kids are with me. Saturday morning hits, even Sunday, and my brain seems to have a mostly empty schedule and goes, “Yes. A day to get the 1,000 things I legit need to get done to keep this family going to where it wants to be and how it wants to feel.”

Yesterday, as I drove home from my son’s football game, ready to move furniture out of the pod in preparation for the last bit of the renovation, I realized: “Time out. It’s okay to go-go-go-getter-done when that is the season and that is what life demands. It happens. (Say it with me, gray happens….)

BUT girl… you are not having any fun lately.

Where’s the laughter? Where’s the smile? Where’s the joy? Where’s the enjoyment? The point was taken and my mindset was switched up. –> IT IS SO EASY to get into the habits, the rhythms, the goings of life and then to forget, to not see, that we aren’t laughing or smiling or living as much as we like, is it not?! I got my earbuds. Put on my favorite new spotify station, “90’s classics” and did all my work with a pep in my step.

I laughed at the memories that came back with each song. Like one that was with my college boyfriend and I liked…that came on when this younger girl was hitting on him, right in front of me. Oh the good ‘ole days. Or better yet, and good luck not singing this one, “Good Riddance” by Green Day. The lyrics are my theme song for life lately:

“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time
…It’s something unpredictable
But in the end, it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life”

YES. Love these lyrics and loved hearing them yesterday. My life is a test right now. Lots of challenges. Lots of obstacles. Lots of gray BUT how I reply, how I respond, or how I react is the real challenge, the real test.

When gray happens, it can define us. Been there, done that, don’t strongly recommend it -or- When gray happens, it can guide us by showing us what matters most to us and helping us find our ways there. -or- When gray happens, it can knock us down entirely, become our outlook, our everything and we miss out on all the other colors of life. Again, Been there, done that, don’t strongly recommend it -or- When Gray Happens, it can happen (as it darn will do no matter what) BUT we can happen too.

We Can Show Up. We can show up for ourselves..and for each other. We can show up and figure out how to get through the gray to a lighter, brighter place. We can challenge ourselves to make the gray brighter so that as we embrace it, it doesn’t feel so blech. Mindset and perspective shifts; action and reaction changes aren’t easy. Oh heck now. They take practice.

But the work is worth it. So today, this Sunday, I encourage you to ask yourself if you are having as much fun as you want? If the gray is way too overbearing (how dare it!) how you can add some fun to the day so it feels lighter? I’m about to do more housework. Not my ideal way to spend a gorgeous, sunny 80 September day, BUT I’m telling myself to stay focused so I can get it all done by noon so I can do the fun – sit on my tuckus and just enjoy the sunshine.

What about you? What are your plans today? If nothing, create them right now. Share them with us to keep yourself accountable. Make today fun. Laugh. Smile. Relax. Enjoy the bejeebers out of it!

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you too are feeling like more fun is needed in your day to day. I feel ya. I do. I do. Maybe we should order some silly string and just have silly string parties for the heck of it?!

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

How to Make More Room for Fun When Life Becomes All Go-Go-Go

Posted on September 28, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

My life has been go-go-go-getter-done. By choice. By necessity. By things out of my control. The weekends come when my kids are with their dad and my brain goes, “alright Sheila, GO. What can you get done? What do you need to get done so you can be more present when the kids come home?” Or even weekends when the kids are with me. Saturday morning hits, even Sunday, any my brain seems a mostly empty schedule and goes, “Yes.

A day to get the 1,000 things I legit need to get done to keep this family going to where it wants to be and how it wants to feel.” Yesterday, as I drove home from my son’s football game, ready to move furniture out of the pod in preparation for the last bit of the renovation, I realized: “Time out. It’s okay to go-go-go-getter-done when that is the season and that it was life demands. It happens. (Say it with me, gray happens….) BUT girl… you are not having any fun lately.

I laughed at the memories that came back with each song. Like one that was my college boyfriend and I liked…that came on when this younger girl was hitting on him, right in front of me. Oh the good ‘ole days. Or better yet, and good luck not singing this one, “Good Riddance” by Green Day. The lyrics are my theme song for life lately and are very. “Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road/ Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go/ So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why/ It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time/ …

It’s something unpredictable/ But in the end, it’s right/ I hope you had the time of your life” YES. Love these lyrics and loved hearing them yesterday. My life is a test right now. Lots of challenges. Lots of obstacles. Lots of gray BUT how I reply, how I respond, or how I react is the real challenge, the real test.

When gray happens, it can define us. Been there, done that, don’t strongly recommended it -or- When gray happens, it can guide us by showing us what matters most to us and helping us find our ways there. -or- When gray happens, it can knock us down entirely, become our outlook, our everything and we miss out on all the other colors of life. Again, Been there, done that, don’t strongly recommended it -or- When Gray Happens, it can happens (as it darn well do no matter what) BUT we can happen too.

But they work is worth it. So today, this Sunday, I encourage you to ask yourself if you are having as much fun as you want? If the gray is way too overbearing (how dare it!) how you can add some fun to the day so it feels lighter? I’m about to do more housework. Not my ideal way to spend a gorgeous, sunny 80 September day, BUT I’m telling myself to stay focused so I can get it all done by noon so I can do the fun – sit on my tuckus and just enjoy the sunshine.

What about you? What are your plans today? If nothing, create them right now. Share them with us to keep yourself accountable. Make today fun. Laugh. Smile. Relax. Enjoy the bejeebers out of it!

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Feeling Lost Can Also Mean You’re Ready for Something New

Posted on September 12, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

Here’s the thing –> I feel lost, alone and even dare I say empty sometimes. BUT… Here’s the other thing –> I realized just the other day that while these feelings can be heavy and oh so not fun, they are also kinda beautiful and exciting. Hear me out. Follow my lovely brain around as it connects random dots, as it does so well. Let’s start from the top with the feeling lost, alone and even dare I say empty sometimes.

When I was in high school, I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I had plans. Direction. I wanted to work in the nonprofit sector. I didn’t want to go to a liberal arts college. I didn’t really want to go to a business school but I realized that would give me the skills I needed to someday manage a nonprofit company.

So off I went. When I was in college, my plans changed a bit. I still knew what I wanted though. I had a vision, I had goals, I had plans. I felt grounded and I knew where I belonged and where I was. I knew who I was. I was far from lost.

When I graduated college and started my first job, which while it wasn’t in the nonprofit world, it did give me the skills I would need and allowed me to do nonprofit fundraising as part of it (saweeet), I still felt like I knew who I was and where I was going. I even knew who I wanted to be outside of work. I wanted to be a wife. I wanted to be a mom. Eventually I got married. Eventually we decided to move from New Jersey to North Carolina.

And eventually I got pregnant and I became a mom. It didn’t make sense for me to work for lots and lots of reasons. It was the right choice then. And continued to be with each son that was born thereafter.

But as each son was born, and each year that passed, somehow I started to feel more and more lost. I wasn’t used to having free time. I sure as heck didn’t really have it when I worked! And when I was in college and not working, I was working towards a goal and well now, now, I didn’t really have goals except get through the day. –>Who was I? What were my hobbies? What made me happy besides being a mom? I wasn’t used to not having goals.

Sure I had goals like “get kiddo to nap and hope he naps” and “get other kiddo to try new food and hope it isn’t sprayed across the room” and “get other kiddo to go pee in the potty and not on the floor.” But I didn’t have personal goals. Career goals. I’m a goal oriented person. Growth oriented. –>Where was I going? –>What do I want? –>How do I really feel about my life? I wasn’t used to asking all of these questions to myself…by myself, more and more often.

I had friends but as the years passed, my friend group got smaller and smaller. The divorce didn’t help. My kids going to different schools didn’t help. Life happening, didn’t help. Me having more kids than others, didn’t help. Me having kids with a little more energy than others, didn’t help.

So yes, as the years have passed, I have felt more lost, and more alone, and put them together and that has brought out feelings of emptiness at times. In the last month these feelings have surfaced. I’ve been so busy with getting my kid off to college and working on the home renovation that I’ve isolated myself. It hasn’t been intentional. Just reality.

Okay, and I could do a lot better about reaching out! And well, I’m struggling with the direction of my business. I thought for sure I knew where I was going and what I wanted, but I am doubting it and wondering if it will succeed. Lost. Lonely. And a little empty. At times. It happens. Gray Happens. It’s temporary. I know these feelings will pass. AND ALSO. They aren’t all that I’m feeling and there is an upside to them.

This is the dot…connecting part:) We are getting floors redone this week. The kitchen needed an entirely new floor because of 1,000 problems. Sweet. Long time coming to be honest.

But, we also moved one wall to create a pantry and a small office so other rooms needed weaving in of new wood. So the project became bigger than planned, because of course.

So anywho, I walked into the dining room the other day. It was physically EMPTY. Days before, it had been full of our temporary kitchen items. Days before, it had been full of our family, laughing, bickering, living.

Now it was EMPTY and yet…and yet…it wasn’t a bad thing, but it was… so PEACEFUL. so BEAUTIFUL. so INVITING. I had to sit down and take it in.

Okay, yes, it was sad at first. It reminded me of the first time my ex and I bought the home and moved in. The heaviness rolled in. Had I felt LOST? yes, a little. Had I felt LONELY? yes, a little. Was I kinda feeling that right now? Yeah, a little.

But also…how did I feel no longer carrying the weight of a marriage that wasn’t fulfilling, that wasn’t working? And how do I feel pursuing a company even though I feel lost?! LIGHTER a lot lighter. Lost, Lonely AND also LIGHTER all at the same time. Just like the room. It looked a little lost and lonely with no one and nothing in it but also…it was so much lighter and brighter! I quickly moved from the heavy feelings to seeing Opportunity.

It was like a big blank canvas. –> What would it look like next? –> How would I decorate it when the floor was re-done and we moved furniture back in? It was EMPTY but also EXCITING, promising. Every emotion has an equal and opposite emotion.

Okay, maybe not exactly, but that sounded good;) But it is close to the sentiment I am going for and I know you know what I mean. Somehow this empty, lost and lonely room, with its beautifully soft, sanded floor helped me to remember that.

So yes, I’m feeling a little lost, a little lonely and even a little empty right now as I try to find my way BUT I am reminded that isn’t all I’m feeling. I’m feeling lighter and excited too. And hopeful. HopeFULL. Both/and. Gray/Orange. What about you? How are you feeling these days? These months?

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you are struggling to feel lighter and excited these days. I get the struggle. It isn’t always easy to see both/and. In fact some days it is outright impossible. That’s okay. I hope it passes soon.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Perimenopause According to My 14-Year-Old: The Conversation That Made Me Cry Laughing

Posted on August 13, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

I had the best laugh with my 14 year old last night and I have to share it. I am beyond sure you are all going to appreciate it.

Now, this conversation happened out of curiosity and everything was said with love, earnest, and well let’s face it pure honesty, gosh darn truth and genius. If you are in perimenopause or menopause, get ready to chuckle. A little back story.

Recently, one of my sons asked me why I cry so much lately. Another one nodded and said, “yeah mom, like seriously, what’s going on? Are you, like, all depressed or something?”

I explained to them the obvious – that I’m sad with their old brother going to college – but also that I’m going through perimenopause and a lot of physical changes are happening along with my hormones (like theirs) being all sorts of out of whack. I said this means I also cry a heck of a lot easier, sometimes I’m a little less energetic or down – not depressed, just down – and that I’m indeed a little bit snappier.

All that to say… Two nights ago, as I washed the dishes in pure silence (yes, it was beautiful and yes, I was far from complaining that I was doing it by myself, again, pure silence!) my 14 year old wandered into the kitchen. I don’t think I had been particularly moody that day or had cried a lot; at least not in front of him. I guess I was wrong. “So mom, how long does this menopause thing last?” he asked sweetly.

“Oh, I don’t know, a couple of years, I’ve heard. At least five of having full blown symptoms.” I replied. (I picked an easy, low answer. I didn’t want to, you know, scare the crap out of him)

“I see. And what exact year are you in?” He asked, again, in all seriousness.

I chuckled. “Oh sweetie, THAT IS THE BEST PART! I have no idea!! I could be in year 1, year 2, year 0 of 10. Isn’t this fun?! Oh and by the way, I’m actually in perimenopause which is the phase before menopause.” I replied, again laughing.

I didn’t take offense. What else can I do but laugh?! He looked at me and said as deadpan as can be, “Wait. So this mood of yours, like, we’re stuck with it for five more years?!”

I laughed and honestly, I really haven’t been that awful. “YEP! But I’m doing my best to manage it. Don’t forget, I’m also under extra stress with your brother heading out and running the house renovation. It’s gonna get better. Promise.”

“Uh huh. Yeah.”

As he walked away, I yelled after him, “Sweetie, don’t forget, I’m not in menopause, I’m in my METAMORPHOSIS!” The other night, this sweet child had accidentally called menopause metamorphosis when he couldn’t remember the word (he flips words around just like me.) And honestly, is that not the BEST mistake ever?!!!

Heck yes I am in a metamorphosis!!! I’m trapped inside a frigging (cold for me, hot for many of you) cocoon and transforming into a new version of me that is going to fly freer than EVER when I bust out. I’m coming out more colorful than before. I inched my way in because I wasn’t living my fully authentic self and was weighed down, but now?

Now that I am living more and more of who I want to be? And following my heart more? Oh, oh heck yes I am in a metamorphosis and transforming into the best version of myself. Bring. It. On. When Gray Happens we go there and add a splash of color to brighten it up! You know, years ago, I made a gray rhino orange. That was my first metamorphosis 😉 I decided to transform from charging when frustrated, overwhelmed, worried and well, angry to responding with warmth.

Gray–>Orange. And now, now I am more than ever paying attention to that transformation because perimenopause is indeed – as my son clearly has noticed – making me a little crankier 😉 Anywho, I hope these two little stories made you smile. They will always make me chuckle. Kids, teens, they say the darndest things. How goes your metamorphosis?!

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if today is feeling more inching forward than flying free.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Adult Friendship: Why I Want More Than Three Local Friends

Posted on June 28, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

I don’t have a lot of friends, at least not locally. And I’ll be honest, I wish I had a few more than three. Not because I need a lot, but because it’s fun to go out to dinner with a group sometimes, you know? And share a bunch of laughs, instead of a few? And also because each friend has different interests that overlap with yours so it’s nice to have a few of ’em.

Because every friend brings different thoughts, perspectives, and more so it helps expand your own thoughts and perspectives.

So yeah, sometimes I wish I had more friends, or at least, more friends locally. Does it mean I don’t love the few friends I have? Nah. Love ’em to pieces and am so grateful for them. It just means, sometimes I long for a little more. Some of the friend situations are my own doing because I’m not very good at keeping in touch. I have a couple of close friends in town who I rarely see. Our schedules hardly overlap and even if they do, I’m not great at reaching out ahead of time to see IF they do have plans that week or even the next.

And some of it’s my own doing because I haven’t put the effort in to meet new people. I haven’t put myself out there. I haven’t gone to events or joined groups with like minded people that I would connect with.

But then again, if I hardly have time for myself and the great friends I do have, why would I add more things to my “to do” list? It kinda doesn’t make sense, but also kinda does, ya know? Human connection is a necessity. Not just a want, a necessity. Please tell me this makes sense lol. And some of my friend situation is my own doing because, well, I’m me and my family is my family. They say when you get older you meet people and make friends through your kids.

Well, my kids aren’t overly involved in local activities so there’s that. And me? Well, I don’t party. I am not married. I’m REAL and am not fake. I seem to just stand on the outside of things, welcomed, but then not included. I don’t know. I just don’t seem to be invited to things or reached out for my number to grab coffee. At least, not that much. I’ve accepted it. It just, well, stinks. ALL THIS SAID…I have an amazing, uplifting story to share from the other day. And before you ask, yes, yes it also brought tears at the end of the day, tears of gratitude.

A few weeks ago, I got a random facebook message. Long story short, a mom from the college my son is going to connected some dots between people she knew and pages she and I are both on and figure out that her son and my son might have some things in common. She had also found a few other moms with sons with similar journeys. All of us live within 15 minutes of each other and one lives in California. Six of us have been texting the last month.

Sharing our fears. Asking questions. Giving support. Celebrating graduations. Experiencing similar emotions, together, that others might not understand. Talk about a gift.

Well, Thursday I got to meet two of the moms. Ladies…rare is the time where I have walked up to two women who I have never met and felt at ease. Am I right? I know you know what I mean. Rare is the time where I have met new women and just felt, well, like I could be me; where I could speak freely about my journey as the mom of my son; where I could share freely, honestly, openly without fear of judgement. Rare is the time when I could make jokes and laugh with people I JUST MET not minutes ago.

I spent all day with these ladies. It was amazing. We took a picture at the end of the day and I joked that we will take one again in four years. We all laughed and said, well hopefully four and not five or six;) The thing is, I truly feel we will all be together again in four years (or five or six) to take that photo. Oh how I hope so.

We are all getting together with our sons tomorrow. I can’t wait. I have been longing for this for so long. Soooo long. What a gift. Which brings me to my final point. One of the sessions they actually spoke of just this desire… BeLong(ing) that is. That is how they showed it on the screen. Their wish, their goal, is to ensure all students feel as if they belong because they know everyone has a longing for it. I had been longing to feel accepted. We all have that longing. To get that feeling though, it helps to be around the right people.

Those people aren’t just kind, those people have similar interests, similar journeys, similar a lot of things. Some things are different for sure, that helps us all to grow (there is beauty in differences!!!!) but similarities help us to feel as if we BeLong. I hope you all feel as if you BeLong here.

And I hope if you get nothing else from yet another long post from me 🙂 you feel inspired to take action to build up friendships that I know you are longing for – or reinforcing the ones you have. Tell me, share with me, how do you feel about your friendship circle these days? I have a hunch many of you might be feeling similar to me…

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you totally got this post.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

The Surprisingly Simple Way I’m Connecting Better With My Teenagers

Posted on May 27, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

Yep. It’s true. I’ve discovered a secret to connecting with my teens: being playful. It is legit working wonders in our relationships. The challenge though? It seems they are returning the favor. See photo for evidence.

I woke up at 5 am per usual. The thing is though that as I have been caring for my fiancé all weekend (he had neck surgery and is recovering and not sleeping well) I am EXHAUSTED. Like beyond.

So when I sat down in my chair this morning to write, I promptly passed out. The half cup of coffee I had poured didn’t keep me awake (obviously.) Anywho, I called out to sweet son #4, “Oh sweet child of mine, would you mind pouring me some coffee? I feel asleep, I have to post by 7 and I can’t get up. I’m exhausted.” He started walking towards me, not a complaint coming out of his mouth. That should have been an alarm in my mind.

I looked up. I saw the twinkle in his eye. “Oh thank you sweetheart, you are the absolute best.” I said as he poured the coffee. Then I realized he WASN’T STOPPING. Then again, the twinkle in his eye wasn’t either.

And the smirk had started and it wasn’t going anywhere either. “There you go mom, how is that?” He was so proud of himself, his playfulness, his cleverness. It was adorable. I laughed. He smiled even more. WE CONNECTED. We both relaxed. We both enjoyed the moment. We both enjoyed each other. No bickering. No nagging. No nothing except joy.

This is becoming a regular – the connecting over playful moments that is. The other stuff still happens, I want to be very, very clear. Bickering? Me nagging on occasion. Him complaining on occasion. Us not getting along. Me wanting to call it quits on this parenting gig. Yes, all the not connecting is still present BUT so are these positive and playful moments. The difference? These ones are intentional. They are being made on purpose, by both of us. All of us actually.

My other boys are doing the same. They do stem from me. I admit it. I’m actively being more goofy with them. I blast songs they hate as they get out of the car. And I see their smirk. I unmake their beds when I can tell they will accept a playful silly gesture. I go into their rooms when the mood is chill and jump onto their beds and say, “What’s up doc?” I talk in their language but 100% intentionally WRONG, I mean lamborghini pork chops just sounds ridiculous anyways. If it annoys them, I take it up a notch and they actually love it. The eye rolls are plentiful but also have a sparkle to them.

I’ve lightened up and am stepping out of my comfort zone and it’s working. We are all having MORE FUN together and wow what a difference. Again, the yucky moments are still present but these lighter moments are making the other ones more bearable because (1) I know a lighter moment will come (2) I know our relationship isn’t just the yucky moments I rarely give advice, you all know that isn’t how I roll, but I am going to today.

Go be silly with your kids. Being silly isn’t just for kids or toddlers or babies. EVERYONE loves to be playful and laugh. Even your partner. *Edited to add…in a way that works for your family. Playful is different for everyone.

And that is 100% okay. i.e. I hate to be touched or snuck up on. That is 100% off limits. Playful can be singing together * I didn’t used to be as silly. I was afraid to be.

But my word, now that I am? Oh my gosh life is so much for fun. I mean duh, but not duh you know? Tell me what playful thing you did today. Share the joy with all of us. Inspire us. Maybe we can get 50 comments and then I can create a 50 Playful Things to do to Connect with Your Teens.

Okay that idea just came to me and if anyone steals it I’ll be annoyed lol. There – my not playful side came out 😉 but kinda being playful hahaha. For real though LET’S DO THAT. Goal set! Go! -OR- another edit to add, how did you connect with your kiddos in their, your families, love language? Everyone connects differently. For some of us, it’s cooking a favorite meal.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if you are wanting to connect with your kids or partner right now and are longing for it so very much. I know that feeling. I will probably be there at some point this week and then I will come to this comment thread for inspiration. Thinking of you.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Why an Orange Dress Made Me Feel More Like Myself

Posted on May 2, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

I got the message loud and clear. Buy the orange dress! So many of you sent me the link to this totally awesome orange dress from Quince. I was hesitant as they listed the color as red-something but turns out that it is 100% Orange Rhino orange and I love it. Do you know how I felt the moment I put it on?! HAPPY. Alive. Confident. Frigging awesome. It is so adorable and awesome and on brand lol. This picture isn’t the best one of me that I took (slight wardrobe malfunction, whatevers) but the best of the dress.

I will have to wear it again (easy!) and do a real photo shoot. But let’s step back for a moment and gain some perspective. I’m Sheila – a girl who from afar has loved clothes, especially dresses. I’ve loved getting dressed up. I’ve dreamed of dressing up more often. One thing I miss from my work days? My suits. My business outfits. My feeling sharp and put together. I’ve had a goal since January to “Put on Confident Clothes” every day.

No more just staying in workout clothes all day (except for when working around the house or in the yard or well, when life happens and other exceptions lol.) I finally listened to myself and leaned into my desire to dress up more. I finally listened and leaned into my desire to feel more confident on a daily, not a moment by moment basis. I finally listened and leaned into the fact I wanted to embrace: WHO CARES what people think if I go out in all orange and I am unapologetically, 100% bright?!

I’ve been putting on my “Confidence Clothes” (yep that is what it says as a task in my phone) daily and guess what?! Ladies, can I tell you how awesome it feels?! To listen to my heart, to lean into my desires, to have FUN?! To have a pep in my step?! I always felt clothes and fashion were unattainable for me because I am just not fashion forward, never really have been. No offense to my mom (who is totally reading this) but she wasn’t one to teach me about fashion.

We have very different styles. VERY different styles. I didn’t even learn about makeup or doing my hair. Any of that stuff. Not the end of the world, for sure. She taught me other things that mattered more – kindness, compassion, courage, yada yada (there you go mom, happy mother’s day.) But fashion, make-up, and accessorizing are things I’ve longed to learn about, to be good at.

And now I’m letting myself explore and have fun and I feel so much lighter as a result. What we wear matters. It does impact how we feel!

So thank you all for sending me the link to the dress! It truly energized me yesterday and made me feel better, helped me feel more me after days of feeling flat, dull and blech. May is mental health awareness month (should’ve made that my M, mental health!) Being honest with myself that I actually love clothes, honoring this insight and desire, and being 100% unapologetic about this side of me?! Oh it is so good for my mental health.

Being true to me – a key to my mental health. And as I write that, I feel I need to be even more honest with myself about other things. That includes sharing things with all of you. Hmmm, maybe next week. It’s been weighing on my mind and I’m ready to feel more free, more light. It’s Mental Health Awareness month after all and mental health matters to me, big time!

I’m curious…do you feel you are totally honest with yourself? Do you know when you aren’t telling yourself the truth? When you’re ignoring what your heart is saying? I do and ugh. I’m getting better at listening (only took a couple of years lol.) Happy FriYAY my friends! I hope you feel confident and comfortable and content in whatever you wear today – literally and figuratively.

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, especially if what you put on today, literally or figuratively, doesn’t feel right. I hope you can take one action to feel better.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino

Why I Don’t Want to Pack Away All the Color After the Holidays

Posted on January 5, 2025 by The Orange Rhino

As I sit here and enjoy the last morning by our tree until next December, I find myself wondering the same things I wonder every single year…

Why do I wait until the calendar tells me it’s “time” to bring a little extra color, sparkle and joy to my family room?
If I like having this little extra in my home, if it brings so much more positive energy to our room, why don’t we find a way to keep that feeling alive in said room all year long?
Okay Sheila, you know when the tree is down in a few hours, and the decorations are all gone later this week, the house will feel a little more empty and blah. Happens every year. What action will you take this year to overcome that? The little extra magic and sparkle doesn’t need to be felt just during December and just because of holiday decorations. What can you change in the house, what NEEDS to change in the house, to keep these positive, upbeat vibes going year long? What needs to change so that every morning you are beckoned to go and sit in your chair and cozy up with your coffee and blanket and relax a bit? Start your day off slower, calmer, and therefore wayyy better.

ALSO, and this is important. What the heck is that small beeping, almost whistling that is somewhere in my family room that I can’t find?!!! That needs to go and not come back or be replicated or enhanced;) Seriously though.

It’s the same when we clean up for a party and we think, “why didn’t we do this before?” Or when we pack up to move and we think, “why didn’t we declutter before?” Why wait? Why wait for the special occasion? And why return to the old way just because said occasion is over?! Just some fun thoughts for a Sunday. Tell me…what positive vibes from the holidays would you wish to keep going year round?!

Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, and especially if you aren’t feeling as many positive vibes as you wish right now.

xoxo, Sheila

🧡 The Orange Rhino