Written on Facebook November 4, Day 7 without power…
Hello again! I’m on night 7 of no power and I appreciate you all staying with me and sharing such supportive comments the other night. While what I am going to write right now is theoretically about my current situation it actually applies to this challenge too, and any difficult situation in life. As grateful as I am feeling, I have finally hit the wall. I spent lots of moments today feeling angry and frustrated and annoyed at the situation.
Both my husband and I are fed up and tired and I am pretty sure we are going to lose it with each other and the kids soon if we don’t see at least 1 truck working SOON. As in, like first thing tomorrow morning. But in the middle of all my silent b****ing and moaning this morning, in the middle of a moment when I really wanted to scream at my kids just because I am that on edge, I remembered something I learned at the beginning of this challenge. I have a choice. I can spend all day pissed off and yelling and feeling really miserable as I wallow in self pity OR I can choose to feel only partially miserable.
For so many years of my life I opted for the really miserable. That seemed easier and more comforting at the time. Looking back I am not sure why I ever thought that! But today, and the last 267ish days I’ve CHOSEN the better choice for me, the less miserable choice. It’s hard to make – but it does feel better. How do I make that choice? I find whatever I can to feel positive about (like unexpected family time together). Hokey I know. Again, its taken YEARS to train myself to think this way (and to admit that my mom, who has been drilling this in my head for years, was right). But it works. So that’s what I have for you tonight. Not feeling cranky is a choice. I chose it today. Not yelling is a choice. I also chose that path today, like a thousand times I think! Under the circumstances, both choices were hard as h*ll but equally rewarding as h*ll. And tomorrow morning when I wake up cold and cranky and pissed the kids again missed the memo about daylight savings (argh!) I’ll re-read this. Until then, a nice glass of wine and a fire await. Sleep well!