Hurricane Sandy – filled with emotion and gratitude

Written on Facebook November 2nd, day 5 without power

Hello friends and shall I say family? Because in many ways you all feel like family as I have told you and trusted you with many of my deepest emotions! I tried to write today “formally” but am honestly too overwhelmed with emotion to get what’s in my mind and my heart out. So alas, as I sit here in the dark listening to the crackle of the fire and the buzzing of the generator that we were able to rent and run a few hours a night so we can keep the house at 55, I thought I would write to you all “casually.” Hi. We are holding up. I find myself wanting to cry a few times a day though, I’m not going to lie. You all know me to be emotional and this devastation certainly has brought that part of me alive. I keep asking myself why do I keep fighting back tears? Why? Is it because the house is cold, the food blah, the kids stir crazy, my routine gone? NO. I want to cry because I am so grateful. Because I am so lucky. I see trees on houses all around me. I hear sirens every 20 minutes. I see moms with week old babies waiting in line for coffee, food. I get stopped by an elderly man to get directions to the hospital because his wife, in the front seat isn’t feeling well, clearly from the cold, the stress. I, we, my family are lucky. And for that I feel so grateful, yet so guilty. Because while it is bad here and no sign of a power truck in sight, I know it is worse elsewhere. And that just breaks my heart. Do I write this to make you all feel guilty? NO. Please don’t!!! I write because it helps me process the craziness that is around me. I write because it is what I normally do and right now, I crave just a little bit of normal more than anything…(P.S. Thanks for reading and letting me emote.)

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