The Orange Rhino Challenge to Start Yelling Less begins Thursday, January 18th!
* THIS CHALLENGE HAS NOW ENDED. Sign up for Waitlist for next one is at the bottom of this post *

I know that many people set the New Year’s Resolution to Stop Yelling at their kids…I sooo get this. I know how awful it feels to yell at your kids. You are not alone in the feeling. Over 50,000 people are part of this community based on the desire to learn to yell less.

I used to yell at my four sons a lot more than I liked. So much so that I set a personal goal to stop yelling at them for a year. I achieved that goal and learned a lot about how to keep yells at bay and also about myself and why I yelled in the first place.

Even though I wrote a book about how I stopped yelling, I am still human. I am not perfect. Life is not perfect. Life can be hard and relentless. I can do everything “right” to make sure I don’t yell and yet, I “slip up” and yell on occasion because while I am “The Orange Rhino,” again, I am still human. I am not meant to be perfect. You are not meant to be perfect. Yells happen. And when they do, I repair and move onwards others I feel even worse about myself.

I want to help you feel better about yourself as a parent and as a person. We all deserve to love ourselves more, to love time with our kids more and to love our lives more.

I am offering this 4 week program so you can start or enhance your journey to yell less. Because I want to help you – and not add any weight or stress or disappointment to your life – I won’t make promises I can’t keep. I won’t tell you that you are going to stop yelling in four weeks. Learning to yell less is truly an ongoing journey. BUT I will share with you my go to 4 “tools” that I focus on over and over and over again to ensure that I am best prepared to not yell in situations where I normally would.

*This is different than the 30-Day Challenge I did a year ago. Some information is the same, but the four themes and conclusion are slightly adjusted and it is simplified.

The Journey to Start Yelling Less begins Thursday, JANUARY 18th. It is FREE. (For now. In the future, I might change that because again, being honest. I put a lot of time and effort into the program and well, my 4 boys who I used to yell at a lot, a lot are now teens and drink so much milk I might need to buy a dairy farm.)

FORMAT as of right now…
– Every THURSDAY you will receive an email with a video explaining that week’s TOOLS and action and that week’s printable pdfs.
– For the rest of the week you will get daily emails with a motivational quote and reminder of the tool/focus.
– on SUNDAY, I will offer a tweak to the tool (if applicable; we all operate differently so what works for me, might not for you) or an enhancement.
– I will write about that week’s focus at least once (probably more) on The Orange Rhino main Facebook page

You do not need to own my book “Yell Less, Love More” to participate. That said, it does have extra tips that are helpful and supportive as well as stories to connect to and that have helped others feel less alone. It is available as an audiobook and hardcover on Amazon.

So come join us! Start your journey to yelling less right now! Sign up below. You will get a confirmation email and then an email Tuesday or so with more details. So excited to be on this journey with you.

Sending warmth and strength,
Sheila a.k.a The Orange Rhino

Questions? Email me at TheOrangeRhinoChallenge@gmail.com

I sat down at the kitchen table and mumbled, “Finally, sitting down for the first time today.”

And then I part laughed, part sighed to myself.
This wasn’t the first time I was sitting down.

I sat in the minivan driving for an hour.
I sat at the soccer game for an hour and a half minus a walk to the bathroom.
I sat in the minivan earlier, not just driving to the soccer game, but driving this kid here and that kid there.
I sat in the same spot writing the grocery list before that.
And before that I sat helping a kiddo with their homework.

In fact, I did a lot more sitting than I liked that day. A lot more. Why was I so excited to be sitting down…again? Didn’t all the sitting down earlier in the day count? Wasn’t it exciting?

I have this elusive belief that “finally sitting down” = rest.
But honestly, that is hardly what it means in my life.

Rarely does sitting down ever mean rest if I am in mom mode; or even if I am not in mom mode but my kids are awake and I am waiting to be in mom mode.

Sitting down at the dinner table?
My mind is still going and I am keeping the peace and working with my children how to resolve their conflicts on their own so we can have a civilized meal

Sitting down in the car?
I am asking for a little quiet so I can focus on the directions to the field in the middle of absolutely, positively nowhere.

Sitting down doing math homework?
I don’t think I need to explain that and I am a math dork and this stuff isn’t straightforward anymore.

Sitting down watching a tv show?
I am interrupted with dog barking, a sudden need from someone in my house, etc…Honestly I am making a shirt that says, “A mom at rest stays at rest, unless acted upon by a child.” Trademarking that now.

Sitting down by myself, kids all out and about?
The phone rings because someone needs to be picked up early.

This isn’t a bad thing. I love all of the times sitting in the car with my kids (okay, most all.) I love helping them and attempting to have family meals together. We will get there…. And also, it just isn’t exactly restful. It’s exhausting sometimes and it takes a lot of energy.

The only time my mind is at rest is when I am asleep and even that isn’t a guarantee. See Exhibit 4:58 am when I woke up before my alarm. And the only time my body is truly at rest when sitting? Is if I actively make it be and that, lol, takes work too…so then my mind isn’t at rest either.

Good news? I am aware of this predicament. I am actively working to be more restful when I can be during the say. See Exhibit photograph. I’m tired. My face isn’t healing well from skin cancer surgery. I’m getting irritable. I continue to put “intentional rest” on my priority list, or in Orange Rhino language, re-charging.

I am actively working on boundaries at home too – if I am sitting and resting – leave me be for a bit.  There’s another product. I’m going to make a hat and the back will say: “Re-charging. Do not Interrupt.” I will put it on, go to my kitchen table, sit down, put my head down, and let my message read loud and clearly.

Today, this is going to be hard. It’s go-go-go from 8:00am until 10:00pm (yeah, club volleyball is back!) So next small step? Look at my calendar and find just 5 minutes to take a break and re-charge. I can find five minutes. Or even five, one-minutes scattered throughout the day. What about you?

Sending warmth and strength today to you as always,

Love,
The Orange Rhino

Feeling tired too? Needing to re-charge? Join us in The Orange Rhino Community where we support each other and connect daily – one of the best forms of re-charging there is!

“Are we there yet?” Except it wasn’t my kids saying it, it was me thinking it, which believe it or not, is just as exhausting to hear! Why? Because the real question I was asking, “Am I there yet? Am I done?” I was exhausted responding to my mental questioning and trying to keep myself motivated.

I just didn’t have it in me yesterday.

I love my walks, truly, especially this time of year but yesterday for some reason, I just couldn’t fully get into it and well, I just wanted to take a short cut and go home. I was getting bored. I was getting antsy. I was slowing down. Even my favorite podcast wasn’t motivating me.

I just wanted to stop pushing myself to achieve my goal of an hour towards a healthier me. But did I really? No, of course I didn’t. But oh I was close. The stairs to home were right there. Calling me, “Come on Sheila, come home. It’s all good.” It would have been easy to just go left, climb the stairs, and call it a day. But then I would have been disappointed in myself and that wouldn’t have been easy.

Just then, a woman ran past me on the track, from the other direction. And it hit me, what if, what if instead of “giving up early” or “short cutting” what if I just changed direction? What if all I need to keep going was a new view, a new perspective? What if I turned around and simply started walking the other direction, following the woman?

So I did.

And wow. Same place. Same track. Same me. New view.

GORGEOUS view.

Expansive view.

Peaceful view.

I found myself re-motivated to keep going. And going. And going. I finished my hour easily. And with so much satisfaction and pride.

I didn’t short cut my goal (or myself); I achieved it – all I had to do was change direction.

This realization was powerful, and simple, and well, familiar. So often on the way to achieving goals, I get stuck. When I do, it is hard to remember to change it up, to try something new, to find a new perspective. But when I do, voila! My mind opens and I become unstuck and I reach a new level of motivation or problem solving.

If you are trying to yell less…
and finding yourself wanting to give up, don’t give up on the goal, just change direction. Perhaps choose a new trigger to work on. Or choose a new mantra to help you in tough moments. Or start giving yourself grace if you haven’t yet, remembering you are human and the goal isn’t perfection. Just try something new.

If you are trying to improve your connection with your teens…
and want to give up and accept it will always be this way, don’t give up on the goal of a close connection, just change direction. Perhaps try a new time of day to connect. Or a new means of communication, perhaps a hand written note? Perhaps over Dunkin’ coffee instead of in the house? Or simply cook a favorite meal that says, “I love you” and leave it at that.

If you are trying to achieve a life goal…
and you want to give up, don’t give up on the goal, just change direction. And this is where I am struggling so these next words should be interesting and fun to read. Perhaps I should try a new perspective. Perhaps I am looking at the challenges I am facing in the wrong light. Perhaps I need to add some new tools to my motivation and resilience mindset. Perhaps I need to simply slow down and accept the speed of the process, much like I appreciated the view around me as I walked the new direction. Hmmmm….

Whatever meaningful goal you are going after, itsy-bitsy, small, big, gargantuan, if you feel like giving up on it, don’t.

Simply change direction, change your mindset.

Same goal, new approach.

It won’t be easy, but then again, not going after a goal that matters to you won’t be easy either.

(And yes, there are times when our heart knows that it is indeed time to stop or even to take a pause, a break. That isn’t giving up. That is honoring your instinct and yourself. Your heart will know which direction to go. Trust it. And yes, Sheila, read your own words and take them to heart, will you?!)

Sending warmth and strength to you today and always,
~
Warmth because it is Monday and who doesn’t need some warmth at the beginning of a week?
~
Strength because going after goals is hard, hard work. Fulfilling work, but hard work. It takes determination, courage, often times composure, and strength.

You are resilient. More resilient than you realize.

*Tissue warning*

Ah, the good ‘ole “Lost and Found” basket at schools, at homes, at wherever.

I, of course, naturally thought about this basket soon after I thought about myself being “Lost and Found.” Because well, you all know the random connections my brain makes and also, with the end of the school year approaching way too quickly, the “Come check Lost and Found one more time” email reminders are as plentiful as ever.

The emails always make me chuckle as they reflect the trends for the year; you know, the things the teens absolutely had to have. This year? Well this years’ photos were especially funny; fancy water bottles to keep water super, duper, wicked cold, next to “hoodies” to keep one super, duper, wicked warm and cozy. Lol. I love teens. And kids. Especially my kids. Why? Lots of reasons but mostly because of alllll the photos…between all the schools…and yet not one of our missing water bottles can be found. Where oh where did they go? To the land of the spoons and phone chargers? One shall never know….

But I shall always know this.

And this deep thought came to me as I ended my walk on Sunday and it led me to tears. So here is where you grab the tissues (I had none, so sleeve it was.)

The beauty of the “Lost and Found” basket in the schools – and at hotels, and concerts, and everywhere you go, is that everyone knows that they exist. Everyone knows that there is a place to go when you lose what matters to you. And additionally, there are always meeting points and places you know to go when you are literally, lost.

I want to be the “Lost and Found” basket for my sons.

I guess I am the basket already (literally at night and figuratively otherwise.)

I am always there.
Even when empty,
when my kids are doing fine
and are on their ways
and doing well in their worlds
and not lost at all, I am there.
I remain.

Like a “Lost and Found” basket,
I am never put away.
I patiently wait for when I am needed, for when my children feel lost
and need help finding their way, however that looks.

Whether it be when they feel overwhelmed and lost in school, and need help studying so they feel confident again.

Whether it be when they feel confused and lost in a social matter, and need help navigating it so they feel comfortable.

Whether it be when they feel down and out and lost in life in general, and need help… NOPE… just need a listening ear so they feel less alone.

Or, whether it be when they feel frustrated because they literally lost something that mattered to them and need help finding it, so they feel less anxious. (Oh I get this. And oh I want to lecture on responsibility but my kids are as human as I am when it comes to misplacing things – it simply happens sometimes and when it does, I am there to help them.)

Whatever it is, whenever it is, I hope to always be the “Lost and Found” basket for my sons – the place they know that is always there to go to when they feel lost.

And I hope that when they move on to college (way sooner that I am ready to admit) and then onto their own lives and go on walks like I did and realize they are lost on a greater scale, that they still call me.

And I know that what I do today, will directly impact whether or not I get that phone call in the future. So I continue to focus on developing a strong, trusting, loving relationship with my teens (as I did when they were little ones.)

I continue to work on…

Connecting before “correcting.”
~
Listening more, lecturing less. (oof this is hard)
~
Working with them, not against them. (Same team!)
~
Taking things less personal, period, so I don’t overreact and escalate matters.
~
Remembering they are humans too – with good days and bad days, just like me.
~
Focusing on what matters, what really, really matters.
~
And making relationship repairs after I have yelled or made a mistake because if I don’t, my “Lost and Found” basket will end up with lots of rips and tears and holes in it. And I don’t want that. It is a privilege to figuratively be my childrens’ “Lost and Found” basket and I so want to remain as such. So repairs I make, as frequent as needed.

Finding my way as an adult is hard.
Finding my way when I was a teen was hard.
Finding my way AS A PARENT of a TEEN is hard.

I can only imagine how my teens feel finding their way in this world.
And so I remain.
As the “Lost and Found” basket.

Always there.
Always waiting,
even when not needed,
so that I am ready for the moment I am.

Sending warmth and strength to you today and always,

Warmth today if you are feeling the feels of the thought of your kiddos going of into the world soon,

Strength today if your child is feeling lost and you currently are there for them, remaining, listening, supporting, just being. I know how hard it is to be there. It is heartbreaking. So I send you strength (and love, lots of love, to you and your child.)

All my best,
The Orange Rhino

(And fear not dear Fellow Orange Rhinos, this lovely sign does not always exist so crisp and perfect. In fact, it doesn’t exist! It was made solely for the purpose of this picture. I wrote this post as part of yesterday’s post and decided to make it its own. Then I decided that the post needed a picture. And then well, filling the basket – which yes does exist as a “Mom’s Lost and Found Basket” was super easy to fill. It contains a hat, an iPad, a t-shirt, some socks. Actually, lots of socks. And no, no missing water bottles. Or spoons. Or chargers.)

Good morning everyone,

Nothing like starting the day, hopping online to write an important post that kept you up all night because you were so fired up, only to go online and see a message that reads “Your page has been temporarily disabled.” I hadn’t had coffee yet so it took me a bit to realize it was a scam but it was enough to scare me into finally doing something I have been putting off – collecting emails in case I ever do lose my Facebook page to a hacker.

I saw this recently happen to someone. I want to say their site had several hundred thousand followers? A Community that she had built over years gone over night. Poof! I should have acted then but, well, welcome to my mind, I don’t always get things done when I should.

But I am doing it now. You all mean so very much to me. I can’t imagine waking up and not having The Orange Rhino® Community! So please, I hate asking, but would you join my in case of emergency email list? Which is interesting because in school papers, and medical ones, the in case of emergency people are those we trust. Those we are close to. Those in our community who are there for us – you are all in many ways my ICE people already! you have been there for me this year as I have returned!

I promise this list is just in case I lose the site. I will create a separate opt in for weekly emails or newsletter or whatever it is I decided to create in the near future which is coming because Facebook (1) this morning wakeup call not cool and (2) your algorithms are also incredibly not cool.

Thank you for being here with me – for supporting me, believing in me, laughing with me, and living along life with me!

xoxo
The Orange Rhino

REGISTRATION is currently closed for the January 2023, 30-Day Challenge.
But you can subscribe to be notified when the next one will start.

*

Not yelling can be really hard! Not stating anything new, am I? But, it is also really possible and I know this because I have done it (and re-done it)! I went 520 days without yelling at my four boys who were all under the age of 6 at the time. And then I yelled because well, I am human and yells happen! Life happens! It doesn’t make me a bad parent, it just means I had a tough moment and I yelled. The good news is that because of the tools, tips and insights I learned from my year of not yelling, I was able to start yelling less again.

I will share these same tips, tools and insights with you during The Orange Rhino Challenge® 30-Days to Start Yelling Less

Wait, why Start? Why Yell Less – not Stop Yelling? Well…here’s the thing. I too am a parent. We are all under a lot of stress already and I will not add to it but overpromising. You will also quickly find that I am, to a fault, honest so I will only write and share my honest experiences.

So…why Start? Learning to stop yelling is a never-ending, always learning journey. Everyday you start the journey. Everyday you challenge yourself. There is no true beginning or end. Why? Because kids change. We change. Life changes. Our environment changes. With all the changes – the tools and responses we learn, need to change too. The core remains the same, but they get tweaked. Your triggers change as time passes. Your kids’ triggers change (um, hello teenagers!!) So no, I am sorry but this is not a 30-days and you will be no longer yelling program or a 30-days and the yelling-cycle will be gone forever. I can not promise you that.

And yelling less, not stop yelling all together, like I did for a year? Again, this is a journey. You very well might stop yelling all together during the 30-days. For real. It is possible! And…you might not. BOTH are okay. Neither path makes you a better or worse parent. In fact, both our good days and our not-so-good moments matter!! We can learn from both – and teach our kids from both. So celebrate the moments you don’t yell and embrace the moments you do. At the end of the day, what matters most is that you do your best at any given moment. Eventually, all those moments do add up to more “yelling less moments” and all those moments do eventually add up to hours without yelling, then days, then maybe weeks or months. You might have a day where you stop and think, “WHOA! I have stopped yelling!” And then you might yell again – wait, you will, again, you are still human! – but because it is so much less, it won’t phase you as much. You will identify as a parent that doesn’t yell at this point. Trust me. You will then take the tools, tips and insights you know, apologize to your child for yelling, offer yourself grace, and start the journey to yell less again.

If this all sounds good to you – sign up below! More details will follow!

* Owning the book “Yell Less, Love More: How The Orange Rhino Stopped Yelling at Her Kids – And How You Can Too!” is not a requirement, but helpful! It is available hard copy at amazon or
PRE-ORDER the audiobook!