I sat down at the kitchen table and mumbled, “Finally, sitting down for the first time today.”

And then I part laughed, part sighed to myself.
This wasn’t the first time I was sitting down.

I sat in the minivan driving for an hour.
I sat at the soccer game for an hour and a half minus a walk to the bathroom.
I sat in the minivan earlier, not just driving to the soccer game, but driving this kid here and that kid there.
I sat in the same spot writing the grocery list before that.
And before that I sat helping a kiddo with their homework.

In fact, I did a lot more sitting than I liked that day. A lot more. Why was I so excited to be sitting down…again? Didn’t all the sitting down earlier in the day count? Wasn’t it exciting?

I have this elusive belief that “finally sitting down” = rest.
But honestly, that is hardly what it means in my life.

Rarely does sitting down ever mean rest if I am in mom mode; or even if I am not in mom mode but my kids are awake and I am waiting to be in mom mode.

Sitting down at the dinner table?
My mind is still going and I am keeping the peace and working with my children how to resolve their conflicts on their own so we can have a civilized meal

Sitting down in the car?
I am asking for a little quiet so I can focus on the directions to the field in the middle of absolutely, positively nowhere.

Sitting down doing math homework?
I don’t think I need to explain that and I am a math dork and this stuff isn’t straightforward anymore.

Sitting down watching a tv show?
I am interrupted with dog barking, a sudden need from someone in my house, etc…Honestly I am making a shirt that says, “A mom at rest stays at rest, unless acted upon by a child.” Trademarking that now.

Sitting down by myself, kids all out and about?
The phone rings because someone needs to be picked up early.

This isn’t a bad thing. I love all of the times sitting in the car with my kids (okay, most all.) I love helping them and attempting to have family meals together. We will get there…. And also, it just isn’t exactly restful. It’s exhausting sometimes and it takes a lot of energy.

The only time my mind is at rest is when I am asleep and even that isn’t a guarantee. See Exhibit 4:58 am when I woke up before my alarm. And the only time my body is truly at rest when sitting? Is if I actively make it be and that, lol, takes work too…so then my mind isn’t at rest either.

Good news? I am aware of this predicament. I am actively working to be more restful when I can be during the say. See Exhibit photograph. I’m tired. My face isn’t healing well from skin cancer surgery. I’m getting irritable. I continue to put “intentional rest” on my priority list, or in Orange Rhino language, re-charging.

I am actively working on boundaries at home too – if I am sitting and resting – leave me be for a bit.  There’s another product. I’m going to make a hat and the back will say: “Re-charging. Do not Interrupt.” I will put it on, go to my kitchen table, sit down, put my head down, and let my message read loud and clearly.

Today, this is going to be hard. It’s go-go-go from 8:00am until 10:00pm (yeah, club volleyball is back!) So next small step? Look at my calendar and find just 5 minutes to take a break and re-charge. I can find five minutes. Or even five, one-minutes scattered throughout the day. What about you?

Sending warmth and strength today to you as always,

Love,
The Orange Rhino

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