A moment of real honesty: I am not currently thriving. I am in survival mode. And I struggle with that some days. Carry shame around it even. There is so much unspoken pressure to thrive. To strive even. To not be in survival mode. I go on Instagram and these messages bombard me.
Are you in Survival Mode? Here’s how to get out!
Are you Thriving? Go you! Rock On!
Are you Striving towards your goals? Why not? Here’s How!
Listen, I am all for these three points. I think you know this about me;) I have nothing against these three points. I have books about all three topics. I love these topics!!!
This is not against them. I repeat. This post is greater than that. I love the feeling of thriving. Who doesn’t? I want us all to have that feeling of flourishing and feeling alive and fulfilled.
And I love me some goals and going after them. I mean, I wrote a book about learning to yell less and how I went a year without yelling 😉 I have been a Type A goal setter probably since I was able to set and go after goals.
And I do not love the feeling of being in survival mode. It’s exhausting, unfulfilling on most days, and makes my body just feel cruddy all over. Hello migraines, knots in my back, blurry vision, memory loss, decision making fatigue. I could go on and on and on. And at the same time, I’m not a fan of how these words are being presented to all of us. There needs to be an asterisk, a qualifier. A more realistic, honest statement after them.
Here’s my take. I accept that there is one common denominator in all three of these words: Thrive, Strive, Survive. The thread? the three letters I-V-E. Which are all part of the word LIVE. To me part of the definition of TO LIVE means to Thrive some days, To Strive towards goals most days and To simply Survive other days. All three modes are NORMAL and a part of LIFE.
There is no shame if I am in survival mode and there is no extra glory if I am in thriving and striving mode. I go in and out of all three modes constantly. While I love striving and thriving, I do not always need to, nor is it necessarily good for me. And while I accept being in survival mode at times, I know I can’t stay there because that too isn’t good for me.
This week has been a blending of Surviving and Striving to get out of survival mode. Hopefully next week will feel more like Thriving. Who knows. I just keep moving forward-ish.
What I do know is that this morning, I momentarily felt uninspiring because I have been “just” surviving* and then I remembered THAT IS OKAY. I am Surviving. I AM LIVING. I am showing up. I am still charging towards the life I want…which is one where I no longer let the obstacles overwhelm and overshadow my days so much that I miss out on the good that still shines bright.
So sure, I feel blech about life this week because I am “just surviving” but honestly, that in itself is inspiring. Life can be hard. Parenting is hard. Remaining determined, courageous, hopeful through it all? WHICH ALL OF YOU ARE…inspiring. Sending warmth and strength to you today – to live your day today without shame of where you are on your journey today. Surviving, Striving, Thriving…You are Showing up and Living and Moving Forward and that my Friend is Awesome.
*If you too are in survival mode, but it feels more heavy than just survival and just a phase, please reach out to an expert for support. Life is hard and complicated and all those who love you, need you.
xoxo, Sheila
🧡 The Orange Rhino
