When Thanksgiving Makes You Want to Yell

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate!

Such a perfect day to once again say thank you to all of you –
thank you for staying with me all these years,
thank you for the warm welcome back,
thank for you all the supportive and loving and encouraging comments,
thank you for sharing what I write,
thank you for buying my book,
thanks you for inspiring me with your stories and insights,
thank you for giving me a space where I know I can put what I write and not be judged or made fun off or any of that stuff.

Grateful really isn’t enough. It hardly even cuts it.

Oh, speaking of which – NO JOKE – does anyone have a good video on how to carve a turkey. I suck at it. Also not a joke. Seven years in and yet to find a good video. You would think with all my sons’ YouTube Expertise lol they could but you know, that’s a lot to ask of them lol.
Carving a turkey is one of the many things that will annoy me today 🙂  So will all the stress right as the dishes all come out of the oven at once. So will the fighting of my sons for no reason at all except that it is Thanksgiving. So will probably just about anything because I am exhausted today – I stayed up late brining the Turkey (which I have never done) and making M&M ice cream (which turned orange by the way so that will be a super awesome reminder at the end of the day when I am so done.) And I am exhausted mentally because it has been a lot week and well, it’s the Holidays.
Holidays are meant to be joyful and warm and cuddly and loving and full of laughter and memories and connecting.

But lets face it – it isn’t that easy. Holidays are complicated and stressful for so many reasons creating moments that are anything but a Hallmark movie.

Yes, there are moments that are wonderful – like last night when I started gobbling like a turkey for no reason (and yes, sober) and it was the funniest thing ever. That will go down as a highlight of this Thanksgiving. Gobble, gobble.

Or yesterday when my 16 year old volunteered to help me put up the holiday lights (it was unseasonably warm and had to take advantage of the weather!) and I showed him how I have done it the past years (alone.) But this time, I did it with someone. We did it together. It was absolutely amazing as I used to do it with my dad. Passing on traditions. It was a beautiful moment. And tears…

But tears aren’t always happy ones on the holidays (ehem, yesterdays post.) There are so many…

Extra expectations.
Extra people.
Extra noise.
Extra chaos.
Extra emotions from past memories.
Extra tension with family members.
Extra opinions.
Extra pushing of boundaries.
Extra rushing here and there.
Extra tired and overstimulated kids.
Extra, extra, extra!

Yes, there are equally as many extra loving moments, but can we just say it is okay if there are extra not so loving moments today? That it is okay if today you don’t feel all warm and fuzzy all day? That is okay if you have a moment or two where you just don’t feel like how you are “supposed” to feel today? That it is okay if your child also doesn’t feel that way today?

That it is understood if you snap or yell today?

Give yourself grace when you do – if you do. Holidays can be tough. We all can make them easier by loving ourselves more through them – and loving our kids more through them too.Even though holidays can be exciting for our kids – they can tough as heck too. So offer them grace too when they meltdown today. I am mean, power to them – our kids comfortably meltdown and say without saying, “I am having a hard time and I need a break,” but it is harder for us adults to.

So let’s take their lead – when they meltdown, lets join them in getting to a better place. You might not be having a meltdown at the same time as them, but I guarantee that the environment of the day is slowly getting on your nervous system and prepping you to feel overwhelmed. Taking a break will not only help your child, it will help you too, preemptively.
It will literally help you AND it will change the way you look at your child’s meltdown which will make you feel less annoyed and more patient and less inclined to yell. New perspective: “Wait, my child’s meltdown is a chance for us both to do something good for our bodies. Thank you child for the meltdown and showing me how you feel and how I might be feeling too!”

So when your child is melting down today, or when you are, or when you feel you are getting close to yelling, do something, but not just anything, do something together!

Take a nap together.
Go for a walk outside together.
Get some silence in a quiet room together.
Drinking cold water together.
Knead dough together.
Watch the fire together and listen to the flickering.
Talk together about the day.
Do a puzzle or color together.
Run around and take silly pictures with the self timer (super fun game and way to get good pictures btw.)

You will both be better for it and hey, bonus…you will connect and create a wonderful moment at the same time, so win, win.

Here’s to feeling grateful for any wonderful moments today, whether a lot or a little. (And if they are legit none, here’s to feeling grateful that it is one day, perhaps one meal, and knowing that we can get through it.)

Thinking of you all today. Feeling grateful for so much this year, but mostly for all the wonderful moments you have created for me.
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