Day 1, Take 8…
Dear Pee, Toothpaste, and Legos,
You tried your hardest to make me kiss Day 1, Take 8 goodbye. It was an impressive performance and I certainly wanted to yell at you all for tempting me. But I somehow manage to beat you…only to lose it shortly thereafter. Sigh. I can’t even remember why I lost it. Double Sigh. So I am back to Day 1, AGAIN. Triple Sigh.
The Orange Rhino
*
It’s 6:30 in the morning and this is how my diaperless, not-potty-trained 2 ½ year old greets me:
“I peed”
“Um, where?”
“No idea.”
“Well where did you take your diaper off?”
“No idea”
“Can you help me find your pee?”
“Um, no thank you.”
Yes, starting my day on a pee scavenger hunt is JUST how I envisioned the start to my umpteenth attempt to go a day without yelling. If I were a two year where would I pee? In the corner of mommy’s closet where I go to poop in my diaper? Nope. Under daddy’s desk where I also hide to poop? Nope. Oh DUH, I would probably pee where my older brothers do – in the potty! So that’s where I went looking.
I didn’t have to look too hard – the pee was EVERYWHERE and was slowly seeping into every crack in the tile floor and making its way to my bare feet. In fact, the pee was everywhere except in the potty! And it was the first pee since bedtime so not only was there lots of it, but it also smelled righteous! But I was really impressed that #3 tried to go in the potty. Less impressed with the mess but what could I do? I couldn’t yell, so I just laughed. And then thought to myself “sh*t he is clearly getting ready for potty training. I however am so NOT ready for potty training….”
Then I looked up at the counter by the sink. Funny, I didn’t remember having a neon blue counter top. Turned out, my three year old thought it necessary to squeeze out an ENTIRE tube of toothpaste in attempt to get one drop on his toothbrush and then he tried to clean it up himself. Cleaning up being defined as smearing it all around. Again, not so impressed with the mess, but impressed with the attempt to do his morning chores by himself. Again, I couldn’t yell “what the h*ll were you thinking? Why didn’t you ask for help?!” Sh*t. This is HARD.
I made it out of the bathroom without stepping on pee or yelling. Onwards and upwards, into my 5 year old’s room. “OUCH! What the…?!”
“Sorry mom, watch out for the lego.”
The lego? Try LEGOS. They are everywhere; hundreds of little legos with sharp corners waiting to attack my feet.
“Sorry mom¸ I needed to find that one small piece and well….”
“What you needed to dump out all three bins to find it? It’s like…” My voice was starting to rise, my tone was starting to change…I was going to that not-so-happy-almost-screaming-place.
“Orange Rhino Mommy. Orange Rhino.”
Well, done my son. Well done. Thanks for the reminder.
And then we hugged and sang kumbaya and I parented perfectly the rest of the day and we all lived happily every after. The end.
AS IF.
Not 45 minutes later I found myself yelling at #1 and I can’t even tell you why. Um, maybe because he was being fresh? Or because he wouldn’t eat breakfast (again?). Or he wouldn’t get his shoes on? I can’t even remember. Do you know what that tells me? That not only did I enter the raging, irrational mode that I am so not proud of, but also that he clearly did nothing worthy of remembering. Which means one thing: he probably didn’t deserve to be yelled at. I’m sorry buddy. I do love you. And I know I hurt your feelings – you told me so. I’m sorry. Mommy was cranky and took it out on you. Bad mommy.
You know, ever since I started this little challenge, I’ve realized that more often than not, my kiddos never really deserve to be yelled at. I am disappointed in myself for losing it for apparently no good reason, but, and this is a big BUT, I am so relieved that at least I didn’t yell earlier in the day too; because those situations certainly weren’t worthy of yelling.
The pee on the floor? #3 was just trying to be a big boy like his brothers. Can’t fault that.
The toothpaste on the counter? #2 was just trying to please me – especially the cleaning up part. Can’t fault that.
The legos on the floor? #1 was just trying to build something really cool. Can’t fault him for not knowing I was coming into his room at that moment.
And BESIDES, pee, toothpaste, and Legos can ALL be cleaned up. Pee + Toothpaste + Legos = No big deal.
BUT yelling at those moments? That would have been a big deal. Massive crying would have ensued (which is ALWAYS a great way to start the day…) and I would have sent negative – and ridiculous – messages. Please don’t try to go pee in the potty. Please don’t brush your teeth and certainly please don’t try to clean up your mess. Please don’t be creative.
Yeah, those would have been some really stellar parenting lessons.
I am a work in progress. Tomorrow will be better. At least now I’ll know where to look for the pee.
www.facebook.com/TheOrangeRhino
www.TheOrangeRhino.com
