Can you feel the love?

10 days down, 355 to go!

Dear Day 10,

Who-wah! I came, I saw, I kicked you’re a*s and it feels good! So unbelievably good. Not just because I am now in the double digits world of this Challenge but also because #1 and #2 worked phenomenally hard today to make me fail and I prevailed. I look forward to seeing you next time but preferably a little fatter, you know, with another 0 at the end.

See ya!

The Orange Rhino

*

(Warning:  Potentially cheesy  blog ahead. Or Inspiring. Your call.)

I did it! I made it 10 days without yelling! It feels so incredible to be in the double digits world of this challenge and to have surpassed my last record. I feel like maybe, just maybe, I actually have a chance of making it to triple digits. I know that is getting ahead of myself but I have to believe that I can do this. That is the secret. Believing in yourself. In myself.  Some of my friends have said that they could never be an “Orange Rhino” that they could never not yell. In those 9 days after I first failed, I just kept saying I can’t do this. And guess what, I sure as heck couldn’t.

But this go round, once I got day one, and then day two, and then day three under my belt, I knew I could do it because I kept  saying I could. Every day got easier and easier. Every day the insatiable desire to NOT YELL and to find my firm, patient voice grew stronger. Every day I found more peaceful and enjoyable than the last.

And as I look at the accomplishment of a mere 10 DAYS without yelling I can say with certainty the following:

  1. My kids are happier and more affectionate
  2. I am happier and more affectionate
  3. We are having more fun together
  4. They are listening to me more and better
  5. I am listening to them more and better
  6. I am laughing more, enjoying them more

And that is just after 10 days. Imagine what 100 might feel like???

I know. You don’t believe me. But it’s true. And I am fairly certain it is the lack of yelling. I mean we all know that yelling creates tense environments. But I didn’t think that not yelling would not only take away the negativity but also adds all the positives galore I listed above. I have no scientific proof that the not yelling is causing the changes in our house but I can say this. With everything that has happened in the last 10 days, this house should be absolutely bursting at the seams with stress. In the old world Pre-Challenge, I would be screaming everyday from the stress, at least once.  I am getting much much less sleep than before. The kids are sleeping like crap. Everyone has been sick and to boot #3 has been to two new doctors and they still have no clue what is wrong with him oh and #1, despite being more affectionate has equally been more difficult. BUT. But but but…….overall I have to report that this house feels different.

Can you feel the love tonight? (thanks Elton John, don’t know why that just popped into my head!)

I can. And it feels friggin’ great.

My husband just asked me how my day was. And for the FIRST time in AGES I actually answered “Awesome.”

Not good. Not bad. Awesome.

And it was. Why? Did the kids behave perfectly today? Hell no. In fact #1 and #2 were holy terrors. But I didn’t lose it so we got back on track much faster. The little outbursts stayed as little outbursts and we moved on. If I had yelled, the little outburst would have gone on and on and on.

It was simply awesome for so many reasons. Too many for me to write eloquently so bullet points it is!

1)      I didn’t yell and made it to double digits (can I get a double fist pump for support?!). I really am proud of myself because today was HARD. #1 woke up with an antagonistic attitude the size of Canada. Is that even big enough? #2 woke up with a burr in his a*s and was trying his darndest to piss everyone off. #3 woke up sick which means whining all day. And well #4 woke up happy –  1 out of 4 ain’t bad! But I only got 4 hours of sleep last night because my dear husband was coughing AL L. Night. Long. He is lucky he wasn’t  booted to the couch. All the cards were against me today. But I did it. Sorry to be so cocky, but I am so proud. This is huge for me. They say you have to do a new habit for 30 days to make a change. I’m 1/3 of the way there!

2)      When I wanted to throw the towel in at 8:51 when #2 had just purposely  tripped #1 (yes it was intentional, the sparkle in his eye said it all) I posted on FB that “Day 10 was looking to be a pipe dream” and I got support to keep going. And it helped. You ladies are awesome.

3)      When I was about to lose it with #1 for not wanting to zip his jacket (really? Really Orange Rhino that would have been a WASTE of 10 days!) he looked at me and said “ORANGE RHINO, mommy, ORANGE RHINO” and it worked. He was so right. I stopped. We laughed and then had a great family walk playing the Orange Rhino game (I pretend to yell, they yell Orange Rhino back. They love it!) Pre-Challenge, I would have kept fighting with him over the stupid zipper. This way was much better!

4)      When I was about to lose it with #1 again (sense the theme today?!) for biting his brother and throwing a drum stick at my head oh and then throwing a box of legos, I didn’t! I calmly walked him to his room and told him he needed to settle down.

5)      When #2 took a toy from #3 without asking and they both started fighting over it all while #1 was banging on his bedroom door and the baby was screaming for dinner, I didn’t Scream “everyone be quiet!” Yes, this is what I normally would have done. It was just so overwhelming  – all the noise and chaos.

6)      The most important perhaps. I actually REALLY enjoyed hanging with my kids today. I generally have such a hard time being a Stay at Home mom and “playing.” I can be so uptight and struggle to let go and have fun. (I bet all of you out there who know me are laughing your arses off at that line!) But, I actually smiled today…numerous times! Like when I was pretending to rock my 5 year old like a baby and burp him and #2 said, “Well now he has to poop on you because that is what babies do.”

Not yelling simply has me more relaxed. I am handling the hard moments better and they are ending shorter. And I am enjoying the good moments more and they are lasting longer.

This Challenge seems to be doing me some good.

I mean really, given the outcome thus far, what’s not to love?

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6 thoughts on “Can you feel the love?

  1. i am a non believer. well, not really. i am a believer, but i think you are too hard on yourself. HOWEVER, if you are going to have days like this one, i say, “RIGHT ON!” I take it back. awesome for you. smiling and letting loose and having a great day? it is DEF the not yelling.
    so keep it up. great job.

  2. I hear you..it is the energy u put out that determines ur day! I totally believe u don’t have to yell n when u do it really just makes it worse!! When I get to that boiling point I remind myself that in agreement years I will be wishing for these days!?

  3. I love the humor you bring into this challenge.  The Orange Rhino game is so cute, and I love that your kids are aware of and engaged in your goal.  I also appreciate your honesty and transparency.  You’re not just on here bragging about what an awesome mother you are for not yelling at your kids.  You’re letting us see that it’s HARD, but you’re doing it because it’s the best thing for you and your kids.  We all know it’s hard.  We’ve all been there.  But seeing someone struggle through the daily mire and still come out the other side is beautiful and encouraging.   Go get ’em!

  4. Thanks Five in Tow! I really appreciate the support. It’s funny, when I was reading your blog I was like wow…she and I think alike! I have so many half written blogs that I look forward to sharing that I think you will appreciate! Stay tuned and thanks again!

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