I’ve been getting flustered lately. Like…surprisingly easily flustered. I know, I know. Hormones. Perimenopause. What if I told you I’m tired of blaming perimenopause for everything? (lol, not just, I’m tired, that’s a given!) Hear me out.
When I was in elementary school, I had a saying. I have absolutely, positively no idea where it came from. It wasn’t my parents or a teacher. Not even a coach. I just said it one day and it stuck. “I don’t mind complaining, as long as you’re gonna do something about it. Complain to me all you want, but then you gotta act.” Apparently ten-year-old me was onto something.
Because I gotta be honest. When I keep blaming perimenopause — and then don’t actually change anything — I don’t feel better. I still feel frustrated with myself, my mood, and everything within a two foot radius. Make that one foot. And before everyone says to give myself grace (and you all know I’m all for giving myself and others grace)… I gotta be even more honest. There comes a point where giving myself grace becomes a crutch, an excuse.
I know. A little rhino tough. Hear me out again. There’s a difference between grace and avoidance. So, back to where this whole post started. Lately, I’ve been flipping out faster than I’d like. Overwhelmed in a light-switch kind of way. Fine one minute. Not fine the next. Are hormones part of it? Probably. Yes.
But I also know this: My nervous system is fried. I’m not prioritizing feeling at ease the way I could be. The caffeine isn’t helping (although my Costa Rica coffee really is excellent and is there anything better than a perfect Diet Coke, mini sized of course.) And yes, I need to make the appointment to at least explore HRT, even if the answer ends up being no for me. Hormones may be part of the story.
But they’re not the whole story. And I don’t want to shrug and just say, “oh well, there’s nothing I can do until my hormones are under control.” I don’t want to give myself a pass when I know I could be doing things to help myself. I know this is a wee bit more direct and blunt than I normally write. I’m writing them to myself with love actually — and from a place of strength. Along with these sudden mini-sized-panic attacks becoming a thing, Sheila getting her groove back is most definitely a thing.
And my spine;) When I started writing in 2012 about learning to yell less, I wrote without much fear. It was freeing. Then somewhere along the way, I shrank. Truly. I’ve been crawling out since 2018 ish. Last month was Fearless February. I’m going to carry that feeling all of 2026. I think you’re going to find that I’m writing a little more bluntly from here on out. It’s just so much more freeing to be less concerned with what people think 😉 and more concerned with attracting the right kind of people to this community.
I mentioned yesterday that I’ve got things in the works. I do. Like, I want 20-year-old energy Sheila who didn’t need sleep so I can easily raise my kiddos and launch my secret projects. I am *that* excited. Since that’s not happening lol, I’m gonna need a crash (a group of rhinos) behind me to make everything happen when I’m ready.
So yes, I want this place to grow. I used to be afraid to admit that. Afraid to admit that I want to take up space. Not anymore. It’s a new month, by the way. New month, new word. No fancy word this month. March speaks for itself. I’m MARCHing forward, one step at a time.
Sending my warmth to you today and always,
xoxo, Sheila
🧡 The Orange Rhino
