Does your child have ADHD? You’re a good parent and they’re awesome, like you.
Last night, as I stood in the waiting room with my son, I realized I had this most ridiculously HUGE goofy smile on my face. Like, gargantuan sized. I probably looked like a fool. A happy one, but a fool nonetheless. I felt the smile, my joy, all throughout my body. It was so intense that I took a selfie to capture the moment. This probably made me look more goofy but whatever. And yes, my teenage son LOVED that I did this.
Again, whatever. I was shocked that I was actually smiling, not crying.
I was smiling because I was reading a book that understood me.
I was smiling because I was reading a book that saw the good in me.
I was smiling because I was reading a book that inspired me to not quit on myself.
I was smiling because I was reading…a book.
I know, obvious statement but actually not a given one! You see, I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who leaves the house and brings a book to read while she waits.
I love learning and reflecting and always talk about wishing I had more time to do so. I’m in waiting rooms a lot. It’s the perfect time to read. And yet…and yet…I never remember a book. Hello ADHD. Lots of big plans and no action. ARGH (another name for ADHD lol.)
Anywho, so instead of bringing a book, I always end up on my phone. And while I love catching up on emails/texts, playing Tetris and other logic type games, and shopping on Wayfair for items to make my house feel new, I always feel like I could have been more intentional with my time. (Yes I know, books on phone. I can’t read that way. It’s a visual thing.)
But last night, last night y’all I brought a book! A real, book! I just couldn’t help it. I was SO excited to dive into this book, to learn more about what I already knew, that “ADHD is Awesome.” Written by Penn and Kim Holderness (The Holderness Family) it’s just the book I’ve been waiting for. Simple. No expert speak. Approachable. Understandable. Easy to read. (Written kinda in my style, conversation-like, not formal. Just my speed!) It’s full of love. Free of shame. And most importantly, it starts to break down the stigma that comes with ADHD. Of which there is a lot. A LOT. Too much. Way too much.
And this is where the one challenge with the book comes in. And also, the irony. I smiled as I read the book because I felt seen, really seen. But the good parts, the awesome parts. My creativity. My problem solving. My ability to notice things before others. I found myself a little surprised that I wasn’t crying because that’s often what happens with self-growth books when I have big connections or aha’s!
But this book, in the way it’s written, as my traumas or weaknesses weren’t coming to mind, my aha’s were all joyous! I felt excited and hopeful for my future! “ADHD is Awesome” focuses on helping the ADHDer see/work with their highlights and helping those in relationship with ADHDers embrace said highlights while acknowledging the hard. It’s a beautiful approach. A much needed one.
This is all good stuff, right? Well yes. Except…I felt jealous. Sad at times. It was fleeting, but still. The thing is, I have DREAMED of starting something, anything, to tackle the stigma that comes with ADHD. And because of my lovely ADHD…I haven’t. Oh my mind comes up with so, so many ideas. So many dreams. And then I don’t act. I hate it. It leaves me feeling let down, like a failure, and more. Especially as I see other people bring those dreams to life.
But again, this is why I am excited for this book. I’m excited for the tools to help me finally act on my ideas AND…I’m excited for the stigma around ADHD to start being chipped away at, slowly but surely. Some of my kids have ADHD. Our family has felt the impacts of society’s opinion of ADHD. It hasn’t been kind. It’s been lonely as all lonely can be. Hurtful beyond measure. Challenging. Exhausting. Depressing even.
I haven’t been able to really write about it because, well, stigma. This book is a great first step. So yes, there are the tears. Thank you Penn and Kim for furthering this conversation. People don’t fully understand ADHD, especially in kids. The assumptions made about the kids – and their parents aren’t cool. And they are flat out wrong.
My children ARE awesome. I’m a good mom. We don’t need your snide remarks, side glances, or turned backs. We’ve learned to rise above. We are stronger from it, but we wish it were different. We would love a little understanding, a little kindness. We would love an invitation somewhere where we knew it would be judgement free. ADHD is real. People with ADHD have real feelings. And real strengths.
Because “ADHD is Awesome.” I brought a book to an appointment last night. For the first time in forever. Barely fifty pages in and this book is changing me.
So grateful. Thank you Penn and Kim. Maybe someday my dream of working with you to create a marketing campaign to end the stigma around ADHD can come to life…you know, now that I’m learning how to manage my ADHD and might actually get stuff done. We’ll see. I have hope. You’ve given me hope. And again, tears.
Sending my warmth to go with your strength, today and always, The Orange Rhino * another unedited stream of consciousness post P.S. Penn and Kim didn’t ask me to review the book or any of that. I’m just sharing because we all know that sharing is caring 😉 AND I want this book to get out everywhere and for the stigma to start going buh-bye!
xoxo, Sheila
🧡 The Orange Rhino
