Resources to Try Before The Challenge Starts

The Orange Rhino Coloring Sheet jpgThe Orange Rhino Coloring Page
Get your kids involved on your journey to “Yell Less, Love More!” Have your child color in The Orange Rhino (or several!) and tape them up around the house in high-yelling zones.

 

 

 

 

The Orange Rhino Sign to Cut Out jpg

The Orange Rhino Stop Sign Heavier the paper the better or print on regular paper and glue onto cardboard, say from a cereal box. Use popsicle sticks, fondue sticks, or chopsticks. Make one for each each child or place in high yelling areas where they can easily grab them, ie. bathroom, kitchen, back door! Tell your kids you are trying to yell less and have them hold this sign up when they sense you are getting cranky. Kids love it and it works!

 

 

Orange Rhino 4 Main Triggers copy

Tips to Manage 4 Main Triggers
These are just some of the “actions” I rely on to manage my main triggers. That said, I found that these are four very popular triggers in our community!

 

 

 

 

Orange Rhino Top 10 Revelations jpg

The Orange Rhino’s Top 10 Revelations About Yelling
I do my best to keep these Revelations top of mind as they keep me grounded and remembering my goal of Yelling Less and Loving More. For more detailed explanation of these revelations, read my most popular article, “10 Things I Learned When I Stopped Yelling at My Kids.” 

 

 

 

 

72 thoughts on “Resources to Try Before The Challenge Starts

  1. I have accepted this challenge and am fully on board! I had one of the worst, if not the worst, yelling episode ever the other night…over one of my kids dropping a container of cheese….CHEESE!!! It set off a massive reaction of yelling, crying, you name it! I made a promise to myself, and my family, that I will never let negative emotions control me in that manner again. The Orange Rhino is up!

    • Welcome Erin! I have yelled over spilled milk so you are not alone 🙂 in yelling over dairy! We have all been there and I look forward to being an Orange Rhino alongside you!

  2. I’m taking this challenge. By fluke I started yesterday without seeing this, I promised myself no more yelling and made it through one whole day! I’m glad I found this avenue of support, I know I’ll need it. I’m setting my goal at 30 days to start. My kids and I need a yell-free home. I’m sure my husband would be pleased as well. This is an awesome tool and I like the idea of the trigger tracking tool. Looking forward to this.

  3. HI!… stepped into this because i am a mom of three kids. one 10 yr old and 18 month twins ( girl boy)… definitely not having any patience and definitely regretting every time i yell… i practice meditation once a week but, something always seems to trigger!… i can’t stand having to say “no ” so many times.. and as if they did it on purpose !…. i can’t concentrate on anything and well .just frustrating… i love them all but i transform into this hysterical mom that just yells….. and if it wasn’t enough… they behave so well with other people.. its kinda expensive to put them in day care so i am home all day with them.. ALL DAY.. … i want to do the challenge!.. i find it such a great idea and im 100% sure that with your help i can stop yelling.. ( ill be posting a lot!)…. .- ttyl- from Chile south America

  4. I was doing great for about 2 weeks and then today…math homework, before school. Child with lazy tendencies who doesn’t push himself….I hate that. I hate yelling. Reading through your book, too. Thanks for doing this.

  5. Praying for great changes. I love yelling less. Looking forward to teaching my teens that there are other ways too. My goal is to eliminate yelling from our house.

  6. FINALLY figured out what to give up for Lent. I don’t yell much, but when I do I feel horrible. It seems that is the only time the kids figure out I am serious. Telling them to do something the first 5 times makes them think I am not serious, then I can blow at the end of the day. That’s when they take me seriously. And I hate it. I didn’t grow up in a house that yells. I don’t understand what I am doing wrong…ok, yes I see the obvious, it shouldn’t take me 5 times to tell them to do something. But, how do I get them to do something, like brush their teeth, the first time I tell them too?! I am glad I stumbled across this. Hoping you get the app in Android soon. Thank you for being courageous and putting this out there. You are helping more people than you know! Day 1 starts when my 9 yr old, 8 yr old ADHD, and 4 yr old wake up in the morning!

  7. This is such a great resource! I work in the field of behaviors and I can testify it is the hardest to change habits especially those that come out as reactions. I have found myself yelling when overwhelmed to the point that I am shamed by my behavior. I take this challenge and set a goal of improved self control and no yelling for 1 month. It is what I need and my children need even more!!

    Thanks!

  8. I’m so glad I have found this anti-yelling movement/online support. I feel so guilty after yelling at my beautiful, sweet, and highly energetic 2 and a half yr old. What drives me up a wall is her constant grabbing of things like soaps, lotions, and other harmful items in bathroom. I realize I need to continue my baby proofing efforts while not expecting my daughter to listen to me. She’s just a little kid! I have bi polar, sometimes prone to mood changes, etc but my temper is the real problem. Zero to ten in 10 seconds. I will take this challenge and set a goal of increased self regulation and patience and NO yelling for the rest of this week! I can do it. I’ve also made a list of things i can do when I get home to limit my baby’s access to drawers and sinks etc. peace and love to all!

  9. Starting today…I have 3 kids: 15, 7 and 5 years old (the first 2 male)…and a naughty dog hahaha…Full time mom from Nicaragua. Greetings and thank you for your support.

  10. I see all women on this blog and want to say, as a dad trying not to yell, this is great advice that everyone should share with their spouces and families. We can stop the cycle of yelling.

    • Yes we all can! I love that you are here and can offer a dad’s perspective! This isn’t just a mom challenge! Welcome!

  11. I love this form! It is like a functional behavioral chart (antecedent, behavior, consequence) used for creating a behavioral intervention plan in special education, but including the more acceptable behavior with it. I’m so glad I was introduced to this site! I would never had realized to do this myself. 🙂

  12. Thank you so much for putting this out there. I believe it takes a lot of courage to admit that you’ve not always behaved well as a parent. And you’ve helped give me the courage to do the same. I’m mum to two amazing boys, both of whom bore the brunt of my own tantrum three days ago. I watched my oldest crumple before me. Though I immediately apologized and took him into my arms, my heart has been heavy ever since. So much of what you write strikes a cord with me. Again, I think you are truly courageous to face this head on and to expose yourself to help others. I feel much more empowered knowing that there is a community of parents with similar struggles. Thank you. I’m starting with a 1-week challenge.

  13. I’m so glad I found your website. I have two boys, 5 and 2. My 2 year old has officially entered the terrible twos this month. Now every nap, every bedtime, every diaper change, and every car trip is a temper tantrum. Not only do I feel helpless, I also feel like a horrible mom by yelling and being aggressive with my son. AND I know after the fact, it has NEVER helped to yell. I have often said mean things to him and I justify it by thinking, he’s two, he doesn’t understand. To compound things, my husband travels a lot, leaving me with the boys alone 24/7. I love what I have read here and I will be starting the challenge tomorrow. I’m going to try for a week to start. Thank you!

  14. I’m like 20 days into the challenge and have been doing pretty great really. However, having said that, I went through my triggers today and the biggest common denominator to my yelling is my kids not listening to me. Now i’m definitely feeling the ‘its not them, its me’ in a lot of my yelling, and I’m able to breathe, count, do what it takes to curb the yelling in those situations, but when they don’t listen, what do I do?!?! That’s my struggle, and advice?!

  15. I am ready to do this challenge 🙂 my biggest trigger is my son not knowing how to treat our dog, I am constantly yelling at him because he squeezes, pinches, and teases the dog with human food which we do not feed him. most of the time they play just fine but when my son gets over excited he starts to not think about his actions, this is normal and at age 5 I know he needs to learn but I get frustrated. 🙁

  16. Thank you so much for this post. Just tonight I cried after yelling at my 3 (going on 15) year old. I am a preschool teacher and I find after a tough day with someone else’s children I take my frustration and exhaustion out on my own and that is never a good feeling. I will definitely take up this challenge and try to pinpoint my own triggers.

    again,
    thank you!

  17. I’m trying to print the tracking page but it’s not working. Not sure if it’s a hang up on my end or yours. Just wanted to let you know in case others are not able to print it either.

  18. Hi, I’m going to take this challenge – I have a 10 year old daughter who is just starting to change from my little girl to a young lady and a 6 year old son who can be sweetness personified but at other times morphs into a completely different child. My friend told me about this site last night after I had yet another evening of guilt following yelling at my son so I am going to start now and really try hard not to yell. It’ll be hard because school holidays start tomorrow so got 6 weeks of the 2 of them – wish me luck!!

  19. Hi there.. I have just found your blog… and I want to say thank you… 🙂 As much as I love my three kids.. I am finding myself yelling more and more… and I am not happy and finding myself feeling that pit in my stomach and feeling sick… 🙁
    So I am going to take up the challenge!! and love my kids more and be the mum I want to be.. 🙂
    thank you again… 🙂

  20. I’m glad I found this challenge. I have 2 autistic sons and boy oh boy do I need this challenge. Thank you for reminding me to yell less, have more compassion, don’t pass judgement so quickly, remember to laugh, enjoy my kids :), and to love with everything I have as life is far to short for regrets!

  21. I’m planning on starting the challenge this morning 🙂 I’m a single mother of two girls, one is six and the other is 9 months 🙂

  22. I really like this website although I don’t know how to get started. I yell a lot. My husband and I both do, and it affects our relationship with our kids and with each other. All of us deserve better. It’s taken me a lot to even notice and admit that yelling in our household is a huge problem, and the underlying reason is probably because of total disorganization combined with trying to do too many things that don’t focus on our family as a whole. Thank you for creating this website. I really appreciate it.

  23. I need this and my family needs this. I yell too much and its affecting my son. I need to be a better mom to him and his little sister. They deserve better. This motherhood thing is so much harder than I imagined! I am going to print your logos and take it one day at a time.
    Thanks

  24. I am taking this challenge because my family NEEDS it, but more so, I need it to keep my sanity this summer break and forward. I want to learn to listen more and to react less. I am ashamed when I talk at my children rather than talk to them. They have become the victim of my/our (husband & mine) stress and it is not fair to these sweet children. Tomorrow is a new day! Thank you to my MOPS sisters for sharing this blog/challenge. I thought I was the only one 🙂

  25. What constitutes yelling? what if i’m not actually yelling but using a really firm voice and perhaps it’s a choice of words? or is it just how you feel afterwards?

  26. Great sheets, a really useful tool!! Even before starting, I bet poor planning & trying to fit too much into a day will be one of my triggers!!!
    Thanks for doing this project!!!

  27. I am on Day 4 with my 4 year old twin boys – I couldn’t be happier!!
    I’m already seeing a difference in our house, everything is calmer, they are responding better to my requests, I really hope I can keep going!

  28. Hi Im a Mum of 4 boys also! I have been out of control with my yelling and am at my witts ends and really want to stop it! Ive just printed out the tracking sheet, plus the example and the Orange Rhino Stop Don’t Yell! I feel a bit overwhelmed but really really want to stop shouting at my boys and be a better mother. Am glad I came across your blog, Thankyou!

  29. I am ready to take this challenge. I am horrible at the yelling and seem to do it more often than I smile. I have noticed that my 2 children have decided that yelling at each other and back at me is a way to handle things and this is not what I want. I want to change and help them see that I can change. Thank you for starting this. This is amazing! :o)

  30. I’ve been wanting to conquer this “Goliath” in my life for a while. I’m taking the plunge and jumping in. Hope it’s not too late to reverse the negative side effects and prevent my children from becoming yellers. It runs in my family and I have vowed to break the cycle in my life time. Here I go, I am determined to do it this time!

  31. Today is day 1, last night I was so embarrassed and saddened by how I talk to my 7 year old son – ready to make a change. Thank you

  32. Dear Orange Rhino,

    About 2 months ago, I found your site. I resolved to make it my challenge too. However, I failed and failed and failed miserably. The longest streak I had was a 3-day streak and that was it. Yesterday, I was in yet another shouting spree.. and my 3-year-old shouted back, “STOP SHOUTING AT ME!” And my heart melted.

    If you think that was enough to stop me from shouting, well, I was in a shouting rampage again today. And I really really really hate myself for doing it. So now I am starting again. I am using your trigger tracking sheet tonight and I will resolve to do the best that I can to stop yelling (and cursing!!!) I really hate myself for doing it and I feel that I am the worst mother ever.

    Please continue what you are doing because you are inspiring a lot of mothers out there.

    andymom77

  33. Hi there!

    I love this idea, my husband and I started 3 days ago, and had a yell free house until nap time today, but that’s ok, we’ve started again 🙂 we can already see results with a calmer and more mindful environment for our 2 young sons.

    We’re also wondering how to keep track of what day we’re on. And would love something to track our progress like a calendar? Do you have any suggestions? Am thinking of making a big orange calendar of some sort to hang proudly on the fridge…

    Thanks for the inspiration 😀

  34. I am going to try this challenge. I recently stopped working to be a stay at home mom. I have worked since I was 15 and I’m now 37. So, this is quite a change for me personally. I have two little ones less than 3 years of age. I find that I am forgetting that my children are just that…. children and expect them to remember things from day to day or follow something I said the first couple of times. I am feeling overwhelmed with the reality of being a stay at home mom and I think that my frustrations with this new facet of my life are the main trigger for my yelling. I do apologize to my little ones and explain why I yelled, but they are so young that a hug and smile will make their day rather than a yell followed by my saying “I’m sorry.”

  35. I’m not a yeller so much but I can yell without the volume, if that makes sense…and I hate it….and I do it to my kids and my husband ALL. THE. TIME.

    Anyway, I’m in. I’m ready to stop the reactive madness.

  36. I have to admit, I’ve been yelling at my children. I have 2 boys, ages 3 & 6. My oldest has ADHD, and my youngest is about as laid back as they come. I’m at totally opposite ends of the spectrum. I never was one to yell. I’m now a working single mom, and I get to the point where I get to the very last strand of my rope and lose it. I’ve been evaluating my relationship with my children, and a friend showed me this website. I’m so very thankful and hopeful, since I know I’m not alone in this.

    • I understand. I have 2 boys, 8 and 11. Both are diagnosed with ADHD and the older one has aspergers like traits. I lose it regularly with them, and end up feeling guilty and miserable. I was a single mom for 6 years. ..i didnt know it, but i lived in survival mode for a long time. I have a 11 month old daughter who I absolutely adore. I feel guilty that I can show her love and affection, but with my boys I am exhausted and impatient. I love all my children. I am having a challenge with my boys though…it is worse during PMS :0 and i myself was abandoned by my birth mother and raised by an unloving step mother ( she is great now, just was not while raising me).
      You are not alone.

  37. Stumbled on this today, and it couldn’t have come at a better time…..My husband and I have gone through incredible stress the past 4 years, and unfortunately our kids have been victims of our stress. We have both talked about how we need to stop yelling at the kids, and would stop for maybe a day 😉 and then right back at it again. Thank you for posting this. The insight, the resources and tools are excellent!!!!

  38. Tonight I am not sure what happened, I just went off on my poor son who always seems to get the brunt of it out of my four. I felt so bad because he was like I can’t stop crying because my head hurts and I said it was fine a minute ago why does it hurt now. His response was that it always hurts when I yell at him. It feel like the worse mother out there. I was so thrilled to find this site to make a change. I come from a long line of Yellers so I kinda felt like I wasn’t even sure how to parent without yelling. I want the cycle to stop with me. I plan to print out the tracking sheets and try on Monday. I want to enjoy being a mom more and not feel like I am just trudging through. Thank you for all the support and being so brave and strong to start this. I pray that I can do half as good as you or maybe at least 30 days.

  39. Thank you for sharing boldly and honestly. This site has given me new hope. I have suffered the crushing shame of my yelling long enough and my sweet husband has comforted my tears for too long. I want better for my family, my children and myself. Today I found an orange hair tie I didn’t realize I had and feel empowered to do better with it around my wrist as a reminder. Thank you again for helping me (and other moms like me) to know I’m not alone!

  40. I’m going to take this challenge because my family deserves it. I want to learn how to stay calm and not over react in stressful situations. Thank you Lord for helping me achieve this goal!!!

  41. I found this page through a friends FB post and I LOVE it….I really want to start so I am preparing now, and sitting down with my spouse tonight to go over it. Tomorrow is a new day. And I will need ALL the help I can get. I am getting teary eyed just thinking about it!!

  42. I am going to start the challenge today and since it is my birthday in 2 days time will mark the 12 months from there. I hope I last the distance….wish me luck…..

  43. Great idea about the sign! My kids already kindof do this with me …when they see me getting cranky my son came up with saying “I love you mommy” and all (well most of my) crankiness usually goes away…he started doing this when he was 4 and I always wondered if he knew what he was doing and then just the other day -he’s 5 now, I heard him tell his 3 year sister that she should go tell me “I love you” after me and her got into a tiff. He said “she won’t be mad anymore” I thought it was funny and sad that they had to do these ‘tricks’ with me as they don’t do this with their father as he doesn’t yell.

  44. It’s just amazing what you do…
    I’m not a mother yet, but I do have a little sister (15 years of difference).
    I love her so much and I help my mom parenting her, since my sister is ONE personality!
    We yell a lot!!! And I want to change that now!
    I’m soon getting married and for nothing in the world I would like to repeat many of the things I went through with my sister.
    I learnt kids are challenging and loved your posts about hard days because I can realize I am not the only one facing this.
    I will definitely start my 365 day challenge! And I hope it stays for life!
    Thank you for being guide and inspiration!

  45. I know I yell a lot. I’m not proud of it. My family and my world feels like it’s falling apart when I yell and get angry about, well, about everything. I am going to take this challenge to heart. It isn’t always easy being a wife and mother, but my family is worth it. I am worth it.

  46. I think you are very brave to do this. I love this idea and am taking the challenge! Thank you for sharing, for being so real and for the resources. I look forward to more. 🙂

    Also, congratulations to you on your amazing accomplishments!

  47. I’m joining in!! And failed today already! Ok something has got to change in our house my preteen daughter is the best button pusher and I am the best over reactor!! Wish me luck! Thank you for starting this site it’s nice to know I am not the only mother loosing control sometimes.

  48. I’m taking the challenge and I’m on day 3. It’s been difficult because I’m also taking this opportunity to empower my children more also. My kiddos have a behavior calendar where they earn stickers daily – guess who else now has their own behavior calendar so I can publicly hold myself accountable to my amazing kiddos!?!? That’s right!! MEEEE!!! Thanks for the amazing idea and opportunity to be an ever BETTER MOMMY!!!

    Jen

  49. I wish I could print the tracking sheet but all I have is my kindle. Hmmm…so excited to see how well I do, what to improve , my triggers everything. And remember no question is stupid and everyone is different ,as humans and as mothers as well as discipline with our children. Let’s all be each other’s support and comment on blogs . Inspire me I’ll inspire you.

  50. A friend led me to your site and I’m excited to find someone who was able to beat the horrible cycle of yelling. I looked over your tracking sheet example and I could have written it myself!
    Thanks for making this page and for all the helpful tips.

  51. it’s on!

    it’s not like i yell a lot but i don’t like how i feel when i do and i definitely don’t like how it affects my kids.

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