Registration for our current The Orange Rhino Challenge® 30-Days to Start Yelling Less is currently closed. Don’t worry, though, you can still start your journey!
Step 1: Add your name to the list to be notified when the next 30-Day Challenge will begin. Subscribe below.
Step 2: Join Me and thousands of others on The Orange Rhino® Facebook page and no longer feel alone on the journey to yell less! Our supportive community is full of parents and caretakers with the same goal of becoming an Orange Rhino. Plus, read daily tips/insights/stories about my, and others, journeys to yell less.
Step 3: Get your friends involved. Learning to yell less can be hard, but it’s definitely possible and it’s even more possible with the support of friends! Invite your friends to join the challenge with you and to join The Orange Rhino® facebook page so you can chat about the insights and be inspired to share your stories together – on or offline. The best part about having friends involved? Well, there are a lot! (1) You have someone to call or text when you want to yell! (2) You no longer have to carry the shame of being the only one in your friend group who yells and (3) You can check in with each other and remind each other of your goal to yell less.
For even more information on getting started, read 12 Steps To Stop Yelling At Your Kids. In this post I summarize and organize everything that I did during my first year of not yelling.
I’m at my wits end! I ask kids to do something. 10x later still nothing. (7 & 4)Brides, Incentives nothing is working. So I snap in frustration. & yell and thankfully don’t hit but really want to! I need help! Hubbys out of town for 2 weeks:(. They fight like crazy too! I dont like being home theses days:(
My name is Mindy, I’m a 37 year old mom of 4. I’ve always been a yeller, I hate it. I swore I wouldn’t parent like my mom, but I’m just like her in so many ways. Our lives were completely flipped upside down last year, when, after a night of yelling at my teenage daughter about a mistake she made, I went to bed, and suffer a massive stroke in my sleep. When I awoke the next morning, I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance, I was already paralyzed on my left side, the swelling and blood clot on my brain were massive, the doctors announced to my husband and children that unless they did surgery right then I would die, and because of the damage it had already done, I only had a 50/50 shot of survival. 7 hours later they told them I made it but I was on life support in a coma so there I stayed for 19 days. My thoughts are what if I had died and the last thing I had said to my daughter was how she made a stupid mistake and yelling at her? This is worse now than it was then, because I am so angry. I’m paralyzed, and have a new complication almost daily from post stroke situations. Like today, I have horrifying headaches since my stroke and the 2brain surgeries I underwent. Instead of saying why don’t you guys come in my room and let’s lay down and watch some movies, I yelled at them, to find something to do quietly because I wasn’t in the mood for noise, which hurt my head and hurt their feelings. I’m taking the challenge, and I will be the mom I’ve always wanted to be! I’m literally crying because I don’t feel alone anymore. Thank you so much for sharing so we have hope.
Being a mom is a hard job , I find myself yelling at my son when I have told him several Times not to do or do something ! I find that as a working mom at the end of the day or early morning you just want to get things done ! My goal is for 365 because I don’t like the way I feel after I have yelled, I find myself apologizing to my son, it’s my job to teach him how to act. Wish me luck and best of luck to all of you !! ?
I am carrying a huge burden for this. I have 4 under age 9 and looking back when I had 2 this was not an issue for me, however it has become one these last 4 yrs and its,gotten where I see my children are closing off to me… my triggers are exhaustion, my hubbys,long hrs, bed time routines, and my middle child is,my most challenging. I need help and I know only the Lord can help me overcome this sin that has,weighed me down. I am excited to use these tools for guidance! Thank you!!
Feeling depressed and at a loss, I did a google search for the thought that was circling in my head, “I love my kids but I can’t stop yelling” and this is the page that came up. I started reading your blog and I got excited. I started implementing your tactics that you’ve learned and so far I am on day 2 of no yelling. Say what? Me?
I have accumalated 5 kids within three years between the ages of 11yrs to 2 months. The older 3 kids are an adopted sibling group and my younger two are my biological kids. It all happened really fast and I feel slammed. I work full-time and I also exclusively pump (I loved reading your comments about being stuck to the boob sucker….I know exactly what you mean). I get stressed because of time constraints and the fear of being late and getting fired from work. Morning are so stressful for me because I have a time deadline of when I have to be out of the house…and trying to get 5 kids ready and up in the morning by myself since my husband works nights and I am by myself. It is HARD and I blow because someone’s shoes aren’t on, someone’s jacket isn’t on, or someone is simply just not ready. These are the times I blow and then I feel bad all day. I also get stressed with my kids home work because of time constraints at night to get it done and get them in bed at a certain time. I have learned that it is the time constraints and my stress about it that makes me blow.
I have thought a lot about this and I am excited to be starting this challenge. Wish me luck!
I am starting today!! This morning was OK… I think my challenge will have to be for a month! Really need to change – for the well-bing of my children.
I know I’m not the only one yelling at my kid, I just think of all my friends I’m the worst of all of us. I am going to take the challenge, but I will start slow with 30 days. Then another 30 days and so forth. Hopefully, I will make it to 365 days. Today is a win so far!
I am a mother of 4. I am going to start this challenge starting today. I feel very motivated and so far feeling proud of myself. My normal day starting is yelling and rushing my children to school. Once school lets out at 3 I deal with them fighting and picking on each other. Now hearing them argue in the backseat makes my day even worse and I start to yell. But don’t get me wrong I do apologize to them once my guilt sinks in. Now my daughter is 8 my son is 7, also my other son is 5. They also have a little brother 6 months old. I deal with allot of stress at work sometimes I bring that stress home to my husband and children. I talked to my little ones today about this challenge and how does it make them feel when I yell. It hurt to know that as a mother you don’t want know one to hurt your children but not realizing that yelling hurts them. So they are helping me with this. Today from picking them up was PERFECT!!. So yes I am excited doing this challenge 🙂
This is incredible. I’ve been going through this for a long time and needed a push. Thanks to this blog I’ve been SHOVED! so excited to try this…I have 3 of my own and 3 from my husband. (We share 1) so 6 in total, 5 girls @ 8, 6, 6, 5 & 5 and 1 boy @ 2..the girls fight so much it makes me want to tear my hair out!!!! I can honestly say I hate this comment “she said she’s not my sister anymore” it’s hard merging families but I’m willing to do “whatever it takes” gonna try to get mornings down for 21 days, (they say it becomes habit after that many days… 🙂 I’ll go for 30. Then 60 …and I’ll add a month every success ,no room for failure. Somethings gotta change!
My 13 year old said “he feels like crap” when I yell at him and vowed never to yell at his kids. 🙂 I hope he succeeds, but in an effort to reconcile and make some positive changes around here, I’m vowing to 1 month of no yelling, with the intent of adding months from there! 🙂 Wish me luck! I have very challenging boys. 🙂 Oh, but I do love them!
This is very inspiring. I am the mother of two girls, 4 and 7 years old. Often thought I was the only one yelling at my children. I will take the challenge for one year. But with some less harsh set back rules. Back to 0 days if I hit level 7 and one month back for level 5 and 6. I started on the 20 th. of July. I find the 7 levels very helpful. I have become very aware of my oops.
I’m in!!! I wish I would have seen this 3 years ago – but I am so hopeful reading your posts and all the comments. I know I’m not alone, and I believe I can change – with practice!!
Hello, I am starting over with the challenge today. I posted many weeks ago, and kind of let it slide. I was doing much better with yelling, but today I rage-screamed at my 4 year old until he was sobbing. I am so horrified. I printed off all the materials and ordered the book, and I am feeling more serious this time around. My son starts preschool in a few months, and I would really like to have this yelling licked before then. I want our last summer before he is a school boy to be a fun one, not a grumpy mommy one.
So I am going to start the challenge today and very excited to do so. I am tired of constantly yelling to get my kids to listen and so let’s try this…wish me luck.
I started the challenge a week ago, and I wanted to share.
sorry but my english is not so good, I´m Monica a mexican separated mom of a seven year old boy. And I catch myself everyday doing what I said I would never do (my mom always hit and yelled at me, we were too many…10 brothers and sisters) my son has even commented in the past that he wished we had a day where I wouldnt be upset with him, actually I told him once I don´t know why he is the only one I yell at, even I hit him many times. I´m always furious, now I realized my anger is with his father for abandoning us. Things must change now! So here I go!!
I’m committing to the challenge. My kids are sick of hearing me yell and nag. My husband is sick of it. I’m sick of it. I want to change and my family needs me to change. I am putting up a sticker chart – for me, not for the kids – to make my committment public at home too. Thanks for the inspiration and the guidance. Wishing strength and the ability to change to myself and to all the other parents out there.
I am starting this challenge today, I wish I would have started five years ago–when I started yelling! Better late than never. I wasn’t yelled at by my mother and my two daughters deserve the same respect. Wish me luck and good luck to all of you!
I’m with ya’! I was searching through all of this and saw that a lot of the posts stopped in 2014. I was afraid the support network had fizzled. I’m glad there are still some other Mamas out there that love their littles enough to make this huge effort to stop yelling. I’ve recently become concerned with my 5 year old’s behavior and how my yelling and constant stern voice have effected him. He’s dealing with a lot of fears (dark and being alone in the house), night time bed wetting will never cease and even a few day time accidents lately. I MUST do something. I see such a difference in him when I have a good day of not yelling — My fear is that, on those days, I’m a push over. Like today – I bought him/us a tub of ice cream and let he and little brother get into a small candy stash this morning. I say no to SO much! I can hardly smile at him and be playful without him going nuts with joy that mommy is actually playing happily – however, he gets obnoxious instead of just a nice playfulness. It immediately shuts me down and I’m back to stern mommy mode. I want to be happy playful mommy so often that it’s not a novelty so he can learn better play interactions. I see his insecurities played out when he’s being babyish or just plain obnoxious. I realize he just wants to feel SAFE and LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY. I am committing to providing that for him! I need to change a lot of things/priorities that don’t seem that bad, but they ARE bad for my relationship with my 2 sons (5 and 2 1/2) and bad for how I’m mothering them. OH man… I did not mean to start a rant, but it feels great to get this out in a forum where other Moms really get it and won’t judge and might actually know what I’m talking about.
I know how that feels from my biggest girl when she was younger. That when I gave in I lost control and she in my opinion went over the top playing very silly . She is 7 now and very well behaved most of the time.
how can I start the challenge, do I have sign up for it. I read everything on how to take the challenger but I’m still confused. I like the Facebook page too, but can’t post anything. Help please I really want to star the challenge.
This website is a great resource, it is such a relief to see people talking so openly about an issue I feel such immense guilt over. I have a 3 year old son who can really push my buttons – he is a very strong-willed kid who is testing us all the time now. I screamed at him horribly today and feel terrible about it. I briefly saw a therapist because I felt like I was too grumpy with my kids, and it was not a good fit. I would like to try your challenge and see if I can get some better self-control with how I handle my son acting out. I am ashamed I am a yelling mom and need it to stop. Thank you!
And I intended to include, I will do a 30 day challenge to start.
I was yelling on the top of my lungs over clothes not put away because that led to a 5 year old looking for pants for school. Such a dumb thing to yell about. I can’t yell anymore because my heart just breaks picturing her burst in tears. I grew up in a household if you yelled, you were heard more. I don’t want to pass that on to the next generation. I will take the challenge and not yell for *deep breath* 365 days. Thanks for your inspiration.
I tried the challenge before but I kept messing up by day 2, so I got discouraged and quit. This morning I realized I was on a screaming match with my 5 year old. Things really got out of control, so I am starting the challenge again. I will get the book to help me, and I am reading all the tips on this site again. Hopefully I can get farther this time!
I have 4 kids, almost 10, almost 8, almost 4 and a 19 months old. I would like to take this challenge, and I will do for the 365 days.
Thanks for this inspiring challenge.
I’m glad I found this site. I’m the mother of 2 boys 9 and 15 and have been told many times “why are you yelling at me!” Today I just want to challenge myself to go one week without yelling. I need to learn to control my anger and feel closer to my boys:)
You are very inspirational. Glad I found you and other moms that struggle with this. Taking the challenge!!
Hi, I am a mother of 3 boys 3, 2 and 3mos, and a husband. As a former PK teacher I am aware of some ways to communicate, but it is harder with my own. I will begin with not yelling for 7 days, once that happens I will add a day each time.
Just found you. Nice to know I’m not the only one. Thank you.
So inspirational. It’s nice to see how many of us as parents struggle with this problem. I’m a mum of 2 boys ages 5 and 1. The eldest has ASD and is at an age where boundaries are being tested and the pushing limits has seriously begun. I’m not proud of it but I’ve lost my temper and packed him a few times. But as we all know it doesn’t work. After 5 years of being the mean mummy it’s about high time I became the nicer mum that relishes their attention and doesn’t waste their lives shouting at them. I’m determined a change is to be made. Thank you xx
I took this challenge a few years ago( maybe only a year ago) and I had to start back at day 1 a few times, but the best part is that you are aware of how you want to change! good luck!
I am feeling so fortunate to have happened upon this page! I have 2 beautiful boys who amaze me on a regular basis. However, I find myself getting easily agitated and my anger escalating from 0 to 10 in seconds. Usually it leads to sad faces, wet cheeks and emotional scars, and I know this. I know that yelling doesn’t help solve a situation or make it better but I can’t stop doing it. I don’t really have anyone to share my concerns with who won’t make me feel more ashamed and angry with myself then I already am. So I am so excited to have encountered the Orange Rhino! I’m starting now, I am going to take it day by day but I’m really hoping to make it 365 days!
I am a single mother of 2. My son is now 20 and my daughter is 11. I am a yeller and I hate it. As much as I try so hard not to it always gets the best of me. I know it does nothing but make things so worse. My daughter yells back and its just a yelling match. I yelled also when my son was younger. I really need to change it so I can have a better relationship with my daughter which is going south especially because of her age. I am going to give this a try.
I’ve been trying to type this for a week, but for some reason committing to the orange rhino challenge is making it hard for me to breathe. However my kids are worth it so here we go. I’m in and as my first goal I’m going to try and not yell for 10 days.
Hi. I am so doing this. I was raised in a “yelling” environment, as was my hubby and it is really eating me how much I yell at my two adorable daughters. I am ruining my relationship with them. I’ve never had a loving relationship with my parents because of this. This is a phenomenal concept. I will practise tonight and start tomorrow. I want to be the “bestest mommy” for my girls. Thank you.
I’m starting again today. My first “Day 1” was March 1, 2014. I’ve gone as long as a couple months. I think my error is I don’t have enough visual reminders. I need a calendar on the fridge where I can count up as I go. I need a stop sign. I need to wear my Orange Rhino bracelet more. And I need to ONLY dress all 3 of my kids in orange. Just kidding, but I am going to find a way to remind myself of my commitment more effectively. So when my internal temperature starts to rise, I’ll be able to take a step back, breathe, & hopefully catch myself before I explode. And I’m going to read your blog (old & new posts) more often, for tips, ideas, & encouragement. Thank you for your honesty!
I’m starting now. 10/8/14. I was yelled at growing up, now I do it all the time…. not ‘all’ the time, but usually I’ll be doing something and constantly interrupted, or constant all-day fighting, or I’ll be putting down the 4 month old and the 3 and 5 year old decide to fight after all day of no naps for anyone, and I lose it. Or bed time, and everyone’s down, and I’m doing master’s school work and interrupted for a live event or class chat.
Frustrating, though I am the common denominator. I will yell no more forever.
I am going to start my challenge today! I love seeing your tips in my Facebook newsfeed and being encouraged by your journey to yell less. About a year ago I started the challenge (but I guess not officially because I don’t think I commented??) but after about a week and my crazy pmdd kicked in, I was once again yelling at my kids and felt like a total failure. I guess I have been hesitant to officially start after that. But I know that’s not the right mind set! So I am trying again 🙂 I am a mother of 5 children ranging from 9-1. My dream was always to be a mother and it is my greatest joy; but it is also one tough job! I never would have imagined that Id be the type of mom that would yell at her kids…I try hard everyday to be a loving devoted mother to my children, but when I lose my temper nothing makes me feel more terrible. I want to stop the yelling cycle and be a mother who teaches with a soft but firm voice, not a crazy one 😉 thanks for this great resource! I’m going to go order your book!
HOLY BRILLIANCE BATMAN!!!! I have to say, this is sheer genius! I commit to quit yelling and have challenged my readers to do the same! Thanks for this Orange Rhino!
I tried this about a year ago and stopped. I didn’t make it public and I think that was my biggest mistake. I can’t do this to my children or my husband or myself any longer. I’m ready and willing to give it ALL I have.
I’m so in. I’m going to start with a month of no yelling and then work at making my goal a life time of no yelling. I feel terrible when I yell at my boys and I know I can stop this horrible habit and have a better life without yelling.
I was finally reading an old issue of a parenting magazine that mentioned your 365 day no yell challenge. It has me inspired! I am documenting through notes on my fb page!
I am taking the challenge. I will not yell at my girls any longer. I will take a minute calm down, set what is really causing everyone to upset, not listen etc and go from there. I feel horrible, something happens we all get upset and I yell. It does nothing but cause the most horrible look on their little faces and in their usually very bright eyes. I want to be the best parent I can be for them! I don’t feel so alone now!
This afternoon as i was scrolling through Pinterest and i noticed the Orange Rhino Challenge. I thought its probably one of those challenges that everyone does. As I read further I realized it was something I really needed to do since it had not been more than an hour I had just finished yelling at my 9 yr old for downloading something without my permission. I realize this will be tougher than i think as i grew up with a mother who constantly yelled and I always said i would not be like that with my children. At times am so disappointed in my behavior that it makes me sick to my stomach at how i continuously yell and nothing gets done. so i figured for my sanity and health and that of my family i will start this challenge tomorrow to say that am not nervous is an understatement buy i know i MUST do this by setting small goals for my self.
Welcome and congrats on getting here 🙂 You nailed the early key to success – small goals. You can do this! Sending you good vibes!
I have read your blog several times and honestly have never taken the time to give it a shot. I have 5 kids ages, 5,6,7,8,9 . And we, as most families go through good times and bad. But today we have had a seriously bad day. My husband is out of town and I had such fun things planned for me and the kids, but as we got up and everyone was screaming at each other, and hitting each other I had just had enough. I yelled, they yelled, I cancelled all plans and stayed home. But in reality that was way worse. As I listened to my small children, yell at each other, scream at each other for silly things I could see what I had done to them me and only me.. What a sad thing to realize and yet I just couldn’t stop. Their behavior was so mortifying that I was just overwhelmed. In there defense we have had an extremely busy few days and we are all just worn out. I have 2 kids with special needs (one with speech as your own) and they have a talent for pushing me as far as I can go, which sometimes just isn’t that far. Prayers for this mama tonight as I sit sobbing at the failing of the day and not really seeing tomorrow being any different. I want my kids to remember me for loving them, not screaming at them or humiliating them with my words. I want them to know how much I love them and not ever question that,
I am a mother of two .I am fed up of yelling at them..so i really want to take this challenge and win it too to win my kids.my fingers r crossed .will i b able to do it or not
I am taking the year long challenge. I’m a SAHM of twins. This challenge is more in regard to healthy ways to blow off steam. My twins are pretty high needs and hate their car seats and stroller. I rarely leave the house and get broken sleep at best. A few times I have snapped within range if their hearing but not directly at them. I want to remain calm any time they are within earshot. I want to find a friend to email frustrations to if the need arises:) I am starting today.
As I sat browsing through my facebook post I came across this and felt like I was slapped in the face. I so need this! My family needs this. I’m hoping that I can lead by example so that we all stop yelling. Day 1 here I come. <3
I’m starting the challenge today. I have been following on Facebook for a while now and didn’t have the confidence to start the challenge before. This seems like a great place to start and I love the community and positive feedback it offers. 🙂 My first step is admitting I have a problem, which seems like half the battle. My daughter is six years old and I feel like she gets the short end of the stick when it comes to my outside problems. I hope this journey ends successfully. I’m not sure what to expect I just know there needs to be a change.
Here it is 4am and I cannot sleep. I have been trying to get a handle on my yelling for a while now, been doing “OK” for a few months, but tonight I completely lost it. 2 hours of angry conversation and yelling. I am so mad at myself, my children deserve more! I hated being yelled at, completely shut down when it happen, now look I am repeating the same behavior. This has to stop, I owe my two children & adopted niece a peaceful home, trust, compassion and a life without treacherous screams of anger. I will start small and say no yelling for a month. If I make it, I will go two months and so on and so on, until this Nasty habitual reaction to life has been broken! thank you, for your blog, for the lack of judgement and for the understanding that is here in this community!!!
I have 3 lovely boys and I seem to be shouting more and more, I need to stop it. So day 1 and going to try for 30 days and take it from there!!
Today is the first day of me trying this (as well as swearing – usually out of impatience) I’m going to try for a month & if I can keep it going after a month, I’ll try for another.
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Today is 5/8/2014. I found this site this morning in a desperate attempt to stop yelling at my family. For their sanity as well as my own. I plan on having a family meeting tonight and talking about what I want to accomplish. I have tried before with no success. I gave up. I made a promise that I wouldn’t yell unless I had to ask the same thing for the 3rd time. Go figure…I had to ask 3 times that resulted in me yelling. I don’t like me when I become the raging mother which is everyday and I know my kids and husband don’t like me either. I hope and feel this challenge will me. But I know that I also need the support of my family to get through this and for it to work since they have to make changes as do I. Today will be practice as well as the Family meeting. Tomorrow will start as DAY 1. Its settling to know there are so many other parents who are this way and want to change.
Just found your blog yesterday after an awful bedtime where I yelled so much and so hard that I even scared myself! I spent the night feeling horrible till I found this site. I love the idea of this challenge and decided to do it last night. I am starting with a week, and will stretch it out from there. And today was DAY 1- a success! So, calm, no yelling… not even close. Just having this challenge in my consciousness made me take calmer approaches to everything. I know everyday won’t be calm, and I know my buttons will be pushed, especially when I’m solo parenting or overly sleep-deprived (on normal days I’m just plain ol’ sleep deprived), but taking this challenge is motivational and helps keep my reactions in check. Thanks so much for your bravery in doing this and sharing it! Knowing I’m not alone and reading about your inspiring journey gives me hope and courage.
Every year I give up something for Lent. This year I chose yelling. I have been yelling at my son forever, he is 16. I came across an article online that referenced Orange Rhino and felt this was exactly the support I need. It gives me hope that its never too late to change.
oh my goodness gracious! i knew i wasn’t alone but DAMN!! its KILLIN me to not take the time to read all of these above comments, but i am just TOO TIRED! ya know. when yur excited about something, but too tired to act on it? ya. that. so i’ll just say THANKYOU for writing this!! THANKYOU for putting it into words for all of us!! and THANKYOU for telling your story! (when i’m more alert…ya know 18yrs from now…welll less……..pausing to do math…..laughing at myself because i can’t…) ANYWAY!! so i’m 38. ugh. with a 9yr old boy. an ALL AMERICAN boy!! he’s all OVER THE PLACE!! can’t focus on SHIT! ugh. (he has trouble sleeping too, so we feed off each other! its AWESOME! not.) …..so yelling is an everyday thing in this household. mainly done by ME! (there i go again. YELLING.) my new year’s resolution for the past few year’s was LESS YELLING!! but damn do they make it hard!!……or do they? YA! your article. WAKE UP CALL!! ok. so gonna add you to my facebook friends as soon as i’m (yaaaawn) posting this….and then this momma is gonna try to stay up for another….oh god. 5hrs till bedtime!!….ugh. so my goal? ya. i’m a VETERAN at yelling!! i have like all my stripes!! (military) so to be fair….lets try 2days…WISH ME LUCK!! 😉
I am starting this first thing! 365 days of no yelling is exactly what I need, exactly what my family needs. It is going to be challenging but what part of parenthood isn’t? I feel like it will completely be worth it in the end (and along the way for that matter). I read all your posts on fb and on your blog and I feel inspired. Inspired to be a better me…a better mom. I have two kids, 8 years apart, and I find since having my second my patience with my first has been terrible. He helps out so much and yet I find that even the smallest, insignificant thing can cause me to loose my temper, things that would have never bothered me in the past. So, today I am taking the Rhino Challenge. I put little printouts of the orange Rhino around my house to constantly remind me of my new goal!!! I am so thankful for your blog and all of your advice.
I would like to start my challenge as of 3/9/14. I have 2 boys age 6 and 2.5. I love them but lately well I notice it getting bad to worse from the past two years on my yelling. i know that it is stress on being a mother of two, of moving to a new country and adjusting to everything and my own problems with so many small things. I am glad that I came across this website. I would not be able to do this on my own. Thank you Orange Rhino!
I have followed this site for awhile and every time I think I want to do it – I feel like there’s just no way with my brood of kids. I don’t want my kids to look at me with fear, or for them to get to a point where they know mommy is just ‘yelling again’, or where I say something truly hurtful out of anger. I regret yelling after I do it so why do I keep doing it – ya know. So today I am taking this challenge. And even as I write this – I fear that I am going to go home with a pile of kids ready to set me off. I am going to take the tips and tricks in this site and put it work. I am going to go home and announce to everyone my intention. One day at a time. But I also know that besides raising my voice, I need to be aware of the things I say even when not yelling. Id much rather yell something silly than say the meanest thing in a nice tone (which probably happens more often than yelling for me – I know, horrible). Ugh. So here it goes…
I’m starting this challenge tomorrow. I have two girls who are 13 months apart. (One will be 3 and the other will be 2). I yell on a daily basis. By doing and hopefully completing this challenge will help me learn to have more control with myself as well as learn to discipline the girls with more warmth and comfort. It’ll help me with Dh also. He’s always asking me why do I yell? And sadly I have no answer except that I need to learn to control my anger. I tend to yell at him too when I’m mad. I don’t mean to yell but it’s a bad habit. That’s why I thank you so much for your blog. I’m determined to see this all the way through.
I am taking up this challenge after a very stressful morning with my 6 yo. It gives me hope seeing so many others who behave the same way I do and have teh same guilt I do. I never want my daughter to feel unloved or to hurt her self esteem or self worth. I seem to have one trigger that sets me off to a 7 and then I find myself saying that she is lazy because she won’t walk across the room to get something or she is a quitter for not wanting to finish swimming lessons. Seeing the tears on her little face kills me in the deepest part of my soul and makes my heart hurt because those are words I can never take back and she is going to remember what I say to her, but I don’t know what else to do or how to react. Hoping this helps and will take it day by day!
I am incredibly grateful that I happened upon your blog, today, of all days. This morning was bad, I totally lost it this morning at my two daughters, ages 4 and 2. I’m tired of yelling, I want it to stop – today! Thank you for creating this forum where we can find support in each other.
Yes…I am guilty. I not only yell, I say nasty stuff too. I make promises to not yell every single night. I have 3 wonderful kids, 9,6 and 3yrs of age and I feel like a monster. My kids mirror me all the time. I have stopped blaming my parents for this as they used to scream all the time too. I have decided to take charge but it is not easy. My husband is calm all the time and that makes me feel like a looser. I am taking up the challenge to stop yelling and saying nasty things for 365 days. Starting tomorrow morning. Thank you for this site.
AK, Hi your not alone in this. I also have 9,6,3 year old and I feel like a monster s sometimes too. We should be each others support in the orange rhino challenge. Feel free to email me anytime mjw82977@Hotmail.com. Jan
Hi Jan! Glad to hear that. I feel motivated looking at all these posts by different moms (and dads). Don’t feel like an alien anymore. Anyway I managed to keep my cool for the past two days. Today I lost it when my 9 year old could not stop disturbing my 6 year old making her scream every 5 minutes. Knocking at the toilet door while I was trying to shower. So….I started shouting but only a little lesser than what I usually do. sigh…starting all over again.
I just found this site and I’m going to go for this challenge.
I try not to shout, but I find I’ve been doing it more recently. I grew up in a violent household and I don’t have the background in how to deal with family life. I think I’ve done ok, but now I’m determined to stop relying on shouting
Have been putting this off for many times now, but making an official start now, “NO MORE SHOUTING OR YELLING”, want to have a peaceful and happy household…Need all the help I can to get through this…
I’m a school teacher and I never ever raise my voice in my classroom! However lately our house has been a yelling zone! I have two kiddos and I find myself yelling over their yelling! Ugh! So, I felt like we needed to make a change and I found Orange Rhino. Our family made a chart together in the shape of a star! If any of us have a yell free day we get to add a sticker to the chart. We have the chance to add four stickers a day if we all have a yell free day. This way we are all working together! My kiddos are still pretty young so our first goal was 15 out of 20 stickers in a school week! If the chart got filled we did a fun family activity! First week went great! A few of us failed once or twice and we had a few great discussions about it! No big deal!! Our house tone has changed and it feels great to be working as a team. We forgive each other when we slip and even my kiddos have noticed triggers (usually each other;-)!! Thank you so much for making it okay to admit that yelling happens;-)!! We can’t change it until we take responsibility for it!!! You are awesome! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the alternatives to yelling! Each of my kiddos have their favorites!!
I read about the Orange Rhino challenge late one night this fall when I couldn’t fall back asleep after nursing my then 3 month old. I had been feeling such guilt and sadness since my BG was born because I was acting like a crazy, screaming lunatic towards her brother, my beautiful and super energetic 3.5 year old son. I was fried from a constant lack of sleep due to BG and any little thing my son did would just send me off the deep end and sadly half of our daily communications would be through yelling. I would wind up in tears at the end of many nights, exhausted & so sad that I was treating my son this way and also that he was learning from me this awful behavior. Reading The Orange Rhino, I was encouraged to change my ways…and for a little while I did do better, but now things seem to be sliding again, so now I have decided to “officially” do the challenge. I want to make a lasting change not only as a parent, but as a person.
I’m in! I find myself stressing about stupid things which in turns makes me yell at my kids about stupid things; ugh! I don’t want my kids to remember me always yelling as part of their childhood memories. Thank you for being so open and honest about it, its easy to fall into the trap of thinking your the only one and letting the guilt and embarrassment swallow you.
I have decided that this year 2014 I will NOT yell. I grew up in a family that yelled. My mom and dad were very controlling parents. I find myself using the same techniques as my parents, and I do not want to continue on this path. I have 2 girls ages 5 and 7. I get into a rage yell when my children don’t listen to me. I am ignored, and the more I don’t get an answer the more it makes my blood boil. I also have a type A personality. When I want something done, I want it done now. I want my children to respect me. I want them to listen without me yelling all the time. I want to learn to be a calm parent. I want my girls to remember a loving,calm,stressful enviroment. Not an enviroment where their mom yelled all day.(like my mom and dad)/
Today is day 2 for me already, the goal is not to yell at my two kids (Miss A 6yrs and Mr Z 3yrs ) for the next 365 days.
I read the blog after returning from a camping holiday where I realised that I yell at my kids every single days multiple times. I’m constantly yelling, No, no-no-no, stop that, what the heck are you… and so on. Its like they automatically expect me to yell now and I dont want to be that mommy.
So here goes.
I am setting a goal of 30 days straight and today is my DAY 2. So far, everything’s going smooth! 🙂
ok. it starts today.
I had decided, my New Year resolution was no more yelling. I started googling tips and came across your website, my New Year resolution then became to get through yesterday without Yelling. This was no mean feat, considering I wasn’t feeling my best after New Years Eve, I had two very cranky tired children and the weather was so bad, we lost half of our back garden fence. I DID IT, though.
Today I feel great and I feel better equipped to now get through today, I have looked at what helped me through yesterday,
1) having a conscious goal
2) concentrating on my children and making them feel good about themselves.
I haven’t got to looking after myself, however not screaming at them makes me feel better about myself, so I guess I am part way there.
I am not ready to tell people who know me yet, as that means admitting to them, that there was a problem in the first place. So I guess I am looking to you guys for support, please??
This leads me to a question, if I put posts on the Facebook page, does it come up on my friends news feed, that I posted a comment?
My goal is to show my children that a home can be a place where yelling doesn’t have to happen, something that I didn’t learn until I was an adult.
Today’s challenge is to go 6 more days without shouting.
I am so pleased I found your page and Thank you for being so honest, I was able to relate to so many of your experiences and I am hoping this will help me to help my children.
Thank you again
Starting today I am setting a goal of no yelling for 1 week. I am starting off small then building up! With 3 boys I feel this is going to be a challenge but I am more determined to give my kids a peaceful home!
I’m taking this challenge. I’m taking this challenge. That’s what I kept telling myself this last year (2013). It’s 2014…and I’m seriously taking this challenge.
I grew up in a family that yelled…not always in a mean way, but yelled non the less. I’m second oldest of 7 children and had the majority of the responsibility as a kid when my parents were working…which felt like it was all the time! I was born an adult…that’s what my siblings say. I’m bossy, picky, uptight and no fun. Really? Yeah okay…really. That has got to change…I want to be the mom that deserves the awesome kids God gave me.
I’m 31 now. My husband and I have 2 kids, 4.5 and 2. I love my kids. They are perfect. Perfectly hardheaded, selective listeners and drivers of parents crazy! And I yell. I hate that I yell. I hate that this habit has rubbed off on my laid back, even toned husband. Stress breeds stress. Yelling breeds yelling. I don’t want to raise my kids in the same stressful environment that I was raised in. Don’t get me wrong; I love my parents. And I wouldn’t be the (semi) successful adult I am today if it wasn’t for the responsibilities I had as a child. But if there is any chance to raise my children in a home where yelling wasn’t the only option to motivate my kids to be productive…I’m all for it.
When my husband and I first got married I swore to him that I would not live like my parents…broke. all. the. time. We’ve worked hard and sacrificed for what we have and what we have to give our children. Financial freedom is almost in sight! But at what cost? It’s come with a lot of stress and a LOT of yelling. Nope. I’m done…taking this challenge is NOT an option this year…it’s a MUST. So here goes.
I’m starting small…challenging myself to no yelling for the whole month of January 2014. OMgoodness…I’m pretty sure I’ll be starting at zero every day. But I’m going to try. I’m tracking my triggers…finding ways to let go of the stress and not worry about the little things. God never gives us more than what he molded us to handle. He’s our architect and knows the load bearing limit. It’s up to me to learn how to disperse and handle (with his help) what he does give me.
Here’s to a calm and (hopefully) less yelling and more loving January! Thank you for this challenge and thank you for being brave enough to put it out there!
I love how you put it and I whole heartedly agree with all you say. I’m there with you.
You can do it!
I am ready to start this challenge. I gave a very headstrong 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old, both of whom are beginning to yell at each other and anyone else when they get mad. Needless to say, having 2 children along with 2 headstrong parents makes for a lot of yelling. I don’t want to be “that family”. I won’t have much support from my family or husband, as we are all this way, so I’ll be relying on support from the Orange Rhino blog. I hope my husband will jump on board if he notices my change. I’m trying for 30 days at first. Wish me luck!
Thank you so much for this! I saw your blog a while back and attempted the challenge but was a bit lax in my effort. This time around its a no option, I’m going to do it not for me but for my children. I believe that who I am to them today and tomorrow will affect who they are as adults. I want them to know love every day of their life and I believe that I can give them love and teach them discipline while not yelling.
Here I go 365 days! I have posted on my blog, linked back to your site, put up your button now I just need a counter to put on my site!
Wow. I am so glad I found this blog. I am currently 16 weeks pregnant and have been experiencing some major pain with this pregnancy. I also have a 3.5 year old (almost four) who has to bear with me through it all, and a wonderful husband. Too often of late, I have found myself yelling at them both, and it is tearing me up. My husband and I were just talking about this last night, about the fact that with my son, I have never been so angry and yelled so much at him as I have in the last month of so, and how much I have been beating myself up over it. It’s hard, and I’m afraid that if I let myself fall into this rut for too long that it will become a part of my life for good, and that is not something I want.
I came from a family in which my dad yelled (although he would claim that he wasn’t yelling only “talking loudly” when we would yell at him to stop yelling at us). I don’t want my son to grow up like that. I promised myself before I even had children that their lives would not be spent being scared of my next outburst, like my childhood had been. Now, I see myself turning into that. While I would like to blame it all on the pregnancy, I know that’s not all it is. I have always been short tempered, I have just usually taken it out on my husband, and I have usually held it in for much longer before flipping out in fits of outrageous yelling. Now, I find myself taking it out on my son more and more often. Especially in the car on the ride home when he is yelling at me to “look what I can do” and no amount of me explaining that I am driving and can’t look right now gets him to stop yelling at me, and I respond my snapping and yelling at him. Only, the difference is that his yelling is the excited “I learned to do this all by myself” kind and mine is the “oh my god, just stop it right now” kind. And, of course this leads to him yelling or growling at me, which leads to more angry yelling on my part. By the time we complete the 15 minute drive home, we are both angry at each other and then we spend the rest of the night trading off yelling and ignoring each other.
HE’S ONLY THREE and I see the short temper, yelling, and anger starting in him all ready. I am bound and determined to break this cycle, and not going to continue letting it interfere with my life, my son’s life, or my pregnancy. So, to get this challenge off to a start for me, I am going to go for 30 days of The Orange Rhino Challenge, and I am including not yelling at my husband in my challenge as well as my son.
I read this blog a while ago and will admit I didn’t read much into what “The Orange Rhino” meant. I just knew you were working on being a better parent by challenging yourself to stop yelling. I thought it was a really “cool idea”. Now, I am finding myself drowning daily in guilt and tears as my 3 year old looks back at me through tears of her own because I yelled (more like screamed) at her for her behavior. When really I was the only one to blame for her erratic behavior; waking her up at 4 am to tag along for “must have” Black Friday sales and then waking her up early again the next day to hit the stores on Saturday (No, I didn’t have anyone to watch her. Please no judgement, I have learned my lesson).
I am currently pregnant with baby number 2 and I’m terrified I am actually turning into the monster my 3 year old sees when I become enraged with frustration and anger. Resulting in me lashing out at her and often sounding like a howler monkey.
So, with this all being gut wrenching but admitted I am agreeing to take this challenge. I hate putting “deadlines” (for lack of better terms,) on things like this because I find myself more often then not, not reaching my goal and feeling like a failure or giving up. So, I suppose I am going to participate in the full thing and set my eyes of re-evaluating myself in 365 days!! I have always been interested in blogging but never really knew what to blog about…all I know is being a housewife and a mom. So we’ll start there and use that outlet as a tool to hold myself accountable!
Thank you to THE original ORANGE RHINO! You’re inspirational and have put into words (virtually) what I have wanted to do. You have helped me realize I can actually be the mom I wanted to be. I have always used the motto, “I regular mom trying to earn her cape”, I feel like now, (thanks to you) more than ever that holds true. I am not perfect. I am a regular mom working through my issues. Looking forward to reading your posts daily for inspiration.
Lately, I have noticed that I have been yelling and getting angry more and more with my children and I feel horrible.
I have two little girls, ages 4 years old and 16 months.
My husband is a soldier and has been gone a lot lately with pre-deployment training, and with some stuff of my own going on. I have been very stressed lately, but that is no excuse.
When I was a child, anytime something happened, my parents, especially my mother, yelled and screamed. My husband says that it was the same way for him, ( though not his mom.) I don’t want that for our children, so as of today, I am taking the challenge.
Wish me luck! I plan to set small goals of a week, two weeks, a month, 2 months, 6 months and then, finally, one year. I will try to keep a calendar, maybe even a journal about it.
I’m taking the challenge, after following your facebook page for months. Right now, in this moment, my goal is to get through today. Most of my yelling is a 6 or 7 right now, and that scares and saddens me. It’s hard to admit that. Not the being sad and scared part, but how mean and angry my yelling and I am. All.the.time. My next goal is a week, a month and then a year. I will get there, because I promised my boys, my husband and myself. I’m hoping to blog about it, along with our everyday stuff, and think that will make it easier 🙂 Thank you for this!
I am totally going to give this a try. My entire family laughed at me during dinner when I said I wasn’t going to yell anymore. I was told that if I really wanted to stop yelling, focus on just one day of no yelling. Ouch. Guess that means I yell more often than I think, which means maybe this challenge will be harder than I think. But you made a really good point- kids are people too and people don’t like being yelled at. I’m going to remember that when I start to bubble and start talking to my kids like I talk to people. Whoda thunk.
I love this. I try hard to keep my calm and not yell and some days are good and others it happens just like you explained it. My blood pressure rises, my voice rises and instantly I’m not the mom I want to be. No more. So here it goes, Day 1 of 365. Thank you for starting this.
I’m going to do it. I came across your Huffington Post article and committed myself even before I knew about this whole website with resources to help me through it! I grew up with a mom who yelled a lot and I don’t want that for my kids – and its not too late I tell myself…they are ages 4, 7, 9. If I stop venting my frustrations, anger, emotions, PMS, etc. through yelling and healthier releases it will be amazing for me but soooooo much more meaningful to them. I would love to see them grow up to evolve a little (or even dare I hope, a lot) beyond cuss words and door slamming to make a point. Thank you, original Orange Rhino mother, for sharing your journey with all of us.
Thinking i need a little orange rhino tattoo to help me with the challenge to change my ways for good!
After another 2 days of yelling and feeling incredibly guilty, i realize I must break through this pattern and stop this very bad habit it has turned into. Reading the posts above from other parents, makes me already feel a little bit better, just to know that I am not the only one. I feel like such a bad, horrible mother sometimes – or lately, most of the time. I wonder what happened to the patient and sweet mother i was before. My goal is to start day by day. And then if I make it through 3 days without yelling, i will go for a month, then 6 months, a year, etc… Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this challenge and all the honest posts on here.
I’m up for the challenge. Going to set my first goal for 30 days. Now knowing I’m not alone and reading all the inspiring post makes me feel like I can do this.
Its great to know I’m not alone. I am a SAHM of 3. Ages 8,5,3 with a husband who works a tremendous amount of hours therefore I’m always alone . I am a yeller and it has to stop here. I love my kids with all my being and I can see where it is effecting them in the way they are behaving. I really come down on the middle child. I go to bed most every night with a heavy heart for not being the best mother I can be. I want their memories of me to be good ones not that she always yelled at us. I start my challenge today 30 Days no yelling.
I am a mother to six lovely children and I am a yeller. I love this challenge because the guilt has been weighing heavily on my heart and I know it has to stop. My goal to not yell for 2 weeks and once that goal is met, then I will make it more challenging. I know I can do this because I love my family much more than I need yelling. Thanks for the insight and support to make this change.
This is just what I needed! Starting tomorrow and I can not wait : ) cheree (new zealand)
I’m in too!!!! I was yelled at as a kid and don’t want to be that parent. I am going for it and shooting for 365 days. My boys deserve it. Thank you for creating this opportunity and the support. I will keep y’all posted. – Maureen
I have always wanted to work on my yelling issue I have with my kids because I don’t want them to grow up the same way I did . I always feel bad when I do yell at them because I don’t want them to be scared of me I want them to know that I do love very much. I used to be a single mom raising two boys on my own and it was very stressful because their father wouldn’t help me at all and it hurt me because I was doing everything . I really want to change because I want to be the best mommy I can.
I’m in! I have been working around children all my life and have always been awesome with them and everyone thinks I am an amazing Mom. However, I yell constantly. I hate it. I hate how I feel, I hate how my kids feel and I can’t stand the headaches I get from it. I know most of it started when I met my husband and had my first child. I think this happened because I not only had a baby on my hands but pardon me, a grown up child on my hands as well, he still is. I yell at my kids, I yell at my husband, I even yell at myself, why?! They tune me out so why wreck my throat. So, here goes nothing. I will be realistic and start with a week. If I can accomplish that I will try a 2 week mark and then up it to a month. I am wishing myself some luck and all of you some luck and hoping for the same in return. I know I am a great Mother, but now I need to prove it to myself and my kids because we both deserve better than a scream.
I’m in! I have to be in. I used to be great with kids, until I had my own and my husband and I started a children’s home in Honduras. Now the gift is gone and I’m drowning in guilt. So, the yelling stops here and now! I really want to do 365 days, but I want to be realistic for me, so I’m going to start with 10 days. Once I manage that, I will up my goal to 30 days, and then take the leap of 365 days. Here goes to being the mom I always thought I would be! Thank you so much for this challenge!!! 🙂
This is so awesome! Reading this has made me think about how I act towards my child, how I make her feel. If I feel guilty or unhappy about how mornings end or how bedtime ends even once, I need to make a change. My change starts now 11/12/13. 365 Days and my support is already in place! Thank you!!
A few months ago a friend of mine suggested that I check out the Orange Rhino challenge and read through the blog posts. So I am going to try, 365 days with no yelling, should be an interesting experiment. Confession time: I have a serious issue with yelling, I was raised by two parents who yelled and threatened constantly, but never really punished, and I have unfortunately followed in their footsteps. I know that I need to stop yelling, and for me yelling isn’t even the loud, raised voice, it is more of a demeaning tone, done quietly as to not attract the attention of others. I especially need to stop since my husband and I are now homeschooling our 2 children (ages 5 and 10). I always want to blame the stress of our crazy schedule (my husband works midnights, I’m a full time student in the last year of my undergrad degree and starting to apply for grad school, we are actively involved in our church, and we homeschool 2 kids in very different grades) but I know that there is no excuse. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with the damage done by my parents yelling, and I always swore that I would never resort to such tactics with my children, but here I am. I want so badly to be able to connect on a deeper level with my children, and I know that my anger and attitude is preventing that from happening. I really hope that my family will be on board with this, and that I can get my husband to take the challenge with me. We spend equal amounts of time with our kids, and split the homeschooling responsibilities 50/50, and even though he is not nearly as bad about yelling as I am, I think that this would benefit him as well!
I decided to take the challenge. I have joined the Facebook page. I even started a blog to track my progress. (I never did a blog before) Very excited to start a new chapter in my life.
I became a mom to a beautiful little girl at 16, met my husband who has 2 daughters when I was 20, we had a son last year, and we just got custody of his girls. So I went from a mom of 1, to a mom of 2, then straight full speed to a full time mom / step mom of 4. It has been a very stressful and overwhelming adventure so far. And my yelling recently has increased and I don’t like it but you’re right, yelling is easier. I came across this site and it inspired me to take the challenge and to make it fun for the kids. Thank you for sharing this with everyone! I’m hoping things go well. I am going to start off with a goal of 10 days. Wish me luck!
I took the challenge yesterday night after a terrible burst. I felt awful and I know I can do better, for my kids and for my self. I cannot ask from them to reasonable if I am the one yelling for every small incident.
I managed to arrive to school without having raised my voice.
Thanks for this
Feeling totally inspired, going to start right now! Slightly apprehensive! I’m a single mum of 6 and half year old twin boys.
Thank you for this brilliant website, truths and the repercussions of actions become so much more real when seen in black and white.
I’ll be watching this space!
I’ve never been great at long-term goals, so I am setting a small goal for myself to start off. I am challenging myself to go one month without yelling. When I accomplish this, I will aim for another month, and another, and so on. Baby steps right? My 4-year-old daughter and I have been at each other’s throats for a couple months now and I’m tired of fighting back the tears (hers and mine), so starting first thing tomorrow morning I begin my challenge!
So, I am taking the challenge. I will try for 180 days. I can’t count today because I already messed up big time : (
I’m in. I’m through with yelling. I’m through with a lot of those nasty habits that keep me from truly connecting with my boys. I’m challenging myself to a whole year with no yelling. 365 days. I’m an artist, and as a reminder to keep this up on a daily basis, I am making a special art piece to hang on my living room wall. I will see it everday and it will make me smile when times are tougher, I hope 🙂
Here’s goes, moment one of not yelling. My main concern is what Im going to end up doing so as not to yell, my son and I have an intense dynamic and I have a lot of stress in my life, but here goes…
I failed in my 7th day of chellenge because I yelled at another driver when I was raiding my kids to school. Not sure if that exactly is a cause to failure. Anyway I’m starting again. 2 days with no crying.
Nicole- we are here for you 🙂 It is so very hard. I am dealing with the same exact issue. I am doing great then I get stressed and yell at my 6 yr old. We neec to stay focused. Please hang in there. We will all be ok.
I have been working on not yelling and connecting more for a long time now. It is getting better and I get all excited, then I fall hard and start yelling again. Sometimes it takes me a while to notice how irritable I am again and snapping at my poor little boy over nothing instead of getting enough sleep when I know I should….
I really need to stay on track so I’m finally following your lead and announcing it publicly: I’m entering the challenge.
Thanks for this blog and your courage to lead the way.
As a mom with 4 young children, (one with special needs) I have been hoping for just one day with no yelling for a few years now. Sadly, I can’t remember the last one.
This stops now.
I WILL have one yell-free day. Then another, and another.
But just one will be a miracle.
Ready. Set. Go.
I’m starting, or re-starting tomorrow, rather. I found your blog a few months ago, and ever since then have been trying to yell less. I need to get serious about it though. I bought orange stickies to put on my calendar and every day I don’t yell a day gets covered up. I have a beautiful 4 year old and an 18 month old. My yelling is always directed at the 4 year old, but my 18 month old has started copying me and yelling at her and I both. The breaking point for me was when my 4 year old yelled at me the other day, and I told her she needs to stop because I don’t like getting yelled at. It was one of those “Whoa…” moments, and I realized that I’m making her feel so tiny and terrible when I yell at her. We are all very stressed out, mostly because my husband is deployed and will be gone for a total of 14 months (7 months down…). I think I’ve been using that as an excuse to let myself get away with it, but I know my daughter deserves better, and at the end of the day, the guilt I carry just adds more stress on me. So, I’ve decided I’m going for the whole 365 days! Wish me luck…
I’m going to do this! I grew up with a family who is VERY loud in general but also yelled a lot and sadly that has reflected on my parenting skills. I use a loud voice pretty much commanding and obviously get no where. I never thought of it as being wrong until someone said to me “do you realize how loud you are when you’re talking to your children?” I don’t speak to adults in a loud manner actually I’m fairly quiet around them, I suppose I always thought the stronger your voice the more they would listen and pay attention to what I’m trying to say? Either way I’m in! I don’t want to be that Mom and for sure don’t want my children thinking of me this way forever. I love them with all my heart and soul and wish somebody would have pointed these things out to me sooner.
I started your 365 day no yell challenge two weeks ago. I was awesome the first week! Then I found out I’m expecting baby #4, and it all seemed to unravel….I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the next 35 weeks, let alone year … Help! I wanna be a more patient loving mom 😉 mostly, I want my actions to show my children how I truly feel about them.
I’m in and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I am a yeller, I have been constantly feeling on the brink of screaming. I am streatched so thin that normal mundane things as well as things that usually bring me joy have begun to just make me angry. This anger has led to a few meltdowns here and there at the expense of my childrens feelings. My big question for you is children are still going to be children and I understand that this challenge will not change their behavior only mine so what do I do about bad behavior on my childrens part. My form of punishment has usually been yelling followed up with a time-out or a quick swat to the bottom, I’m not sure I know how to dicipline my children with out the yelling?! Sad but true, any sugesstions 🙂
I am starting this today, too. My kids are already asleep, but inevitably by 8 year old will wake me in the middle of the night, and that’s when my nastiest voice comes out–so sad, because he probably isn’t even fully awake. Also when we are trying to leave the house (for any reason) and when the kids start fighting. Deep breaths; I feel really ready. 30 days to start.
Stumbled on this on Pinterest and I’m so relieved I did. I have been feeling like the worst mother ever to my 6yo DD. I’m nagging, ordering, using a nasty tone of voice, being obviously frustrated, and yes YELLING. Tonight I yelled at bedtime and then 5 minutes later went in and apologized to her. I then went to my room and after I cried my eyes out I decided I had to change. It’s not just my daughter, my husband gets my annoyed voice a lot too. I hate hearing myself and I beat myself up for it. So I’m excited to change and excited to start a challenge. I’ll start with one day, then one week, and hopefully it goes on and on. Thank you.
Yesterday afternoon I yelled at the kids so much and so badly that it literally made my head hurt. There’s some quality parenting right there!! I find myself being angry all the time (which was modelled very nicely for me during my childhood) and we will go from having a nice, calm day to head-hurting yelling over issues that truly don’t warrant yelling. It is an expression of my frustration – but it is a bad bad way to do it – I can see the hurt in my 5y.o son’s eyes. What a wretched mother. I hate myself when I’m doing it and I hate myself for doing it (and I don’t imagine the kids enjoy it either). I found your blog last night and have resolved to stop yelling. I don’t know what goal I’m going to set for myself yet but we at least made it through the before-school routine without *any* yelling 🙂 [and I really like the idea of “at least…” – I tend towards cynicism/pessimism and the idea of “at least…” helps me focus on what *is* being achieved and not the shortcomings] Thank you for your candour and encouragement.
Thank you for this! I am starting today. My kids drive me crazy at bed time. They will not go to sleep for me and fight it for hours. Any suggestions? I have tried quiet time, routines, taking privileges away… I’m pretty frustrated and just want to go to bed.
I’m taking the challenge…I have noticed that I have been yelling more, most time simply from habit. My family is naturally loud (mo excuses they really are)…but now my Kiddies noticed. I want to change and I think this may help.
I stumbled upon this page on pinterest and I am so glad I did! I am a SAHM of a beautiful two year old girl. She is very strong willed (and she gets it from me) Terrible twos can be very stressful at times, but I have to keep telling myself “this too shall pass.!” She’s only two! That’s why my husband and I decided together to take the challenge now before she gets older and not yelling gets harder. We are on day 2 and already seeing improvement in our family. Thanks for your wonderful posts. I look forward to getting more involved in your fb group. God bless! : )
Hi there! I`ve been reading about this Orange Rhino for quite some time, but now I`m pretty sure I need to take this Challenge. I`m a proud Mom of a 3 yrs old boy, who i adore, but we`re having trouble setting the dynamics arround who`s in charge, and I end up being a YELLER (Shame!!!!) Then, I feel guilty, and sad, and some other things.
So I have set a goal for me to bring some peace in our house, (jajaja like that`s possible). I`m gonna start my Challenge, today. No more Yelling, for one week.
I know, I know, it`s not much, but trust me, it is!
Since my kid is still running arround the house at 10 pm, I guess I`m starting right now! Wish me luck!
Okay- I’m taking the plunge. I’m going for 1 month to start with- then 6 months- then forever!! 😉
Thanks for the support!!
I am taking on this challenge. I am a stepmom of 3 kids who lost their mom to an infection a few years ago—they are 10, 7, and 4. My husband and I have been married for almost two years and have a 10 week old baby boy together. My goal is to speak more kindly to the kids and think positive thoughts about all 3 as their behaviors and the things they say to me drive me crazy and are very hurtful! My husband and I have been trying to have more love and kindness in our home so our kids can feel safe and wanted and loved, so I want to do my part. I can’t quite take on 365 days as that seems too overwhelming, but my goal is from now until the 21st of August (when I leave to visit my parents) as a start. Thanks so much for this website!
I’m so happy to be here! Not because I’m a “yeller,” but because I’m not alone, and that there are others I can connect with for support. What a beautiful choice of the Orange Rhino. Thank you for sharing your experiences and for giving us a forum to share with others as well.
I am praying that today will be the last day we can remember as a family where I yelled at my children. I never considered myself a “yeller” growing up, but looking back, I can definitely see that aggressive spirit that would rear its ugly head at times. Now I am blessed to be the mother of twin girls who will be 7 in at the end of this month. I don’t want them to remember their childhood as one laced with uncertainty, tears and fear of a yelling parent. I want them to remember the beautiful moments, laughter, and how we worked through challenges together with love.
I am excited (although nervous) about starting this challenge, and pray that with the help of God, the support system here, and the lessons I learn from those around me and living life, I will be successful!
All right folks I’m going to take the challenge. No more YELLING. It’s going to be a long journey. I am going to set my first goal to one week. Then I’m going to aim for one month and then 6 and then a year! This challenge is a tough one but I’ve been inspired by reading this blog. My “I’ve gotta make a change” moment happened when I noticed my girls yelling at each other…so sad that I would then yell back don’t yell at each other. How are they supposed to learn?? I’ve got to set the example. So here it goes one week of not yelling. I can do this!
Tami D., Amy, Robin and Lisa,
Wishing you guys lots of luck with the challenge!
I started (and made it through) today! My first kiddo is on the way, but I have been a yeller my whole life. I can go from zero to beyond angry in 1.2 seconds. I am 22 weeks pregnant and was doing well until this week. My poor husband has taken the brunt of my hormones/emotions, and it’s been rough. Kinda hate myself at the end of the day. Want to break the cycle before baby girl gets here, not only so I will be calm and patient with her, but also to set a good example of what a loving wife and marriage should look like. It’s gonna be hard to break this 35-year habit, but I’m all in!!
I am going to begin the challenge today. I have 7 yr. old twin boys and a 4 yr. old daughter. I am tired of yelling!!
I am going to take the challenge myself to not yell for a week and see how that goes then make a longer goal for myself! wish me luck!
I am determined not only to start but to achieve my goal! I’m taking the challenge. This is a wonderful idea.
Hi Orange Rhino, I’m really so inspired right now to start on my challenge.
I can’t recall how I chanced upon your page, but I remembered it was actually quite a while ago. I’ve been following some of your updates, but procrastination prevented me from moving forward.
Today, I yelled BIG time at my boys… 🙁 Which wasn’t due to their fault actually 🙁 I was feeling flustered and not in control of my mood. I didn’t yell once, but a few times 🙁 When I yelled, I knew at the back of my mind, I wasn’t doing the right thing. But, I couldn’t help it. 🙁
At the last yell, my elder boy who is now 6 years old, gave me a pretty frightened look, and deep within me at that instant, told myself that’s it! I need to get started on my Orange Rhino Challenge!!!
My mind is set, I shall spend some time come Monday, to explore your site in more detail and how to go about the challenge.
Wish me luck! Thanks!!! 🙂
starting today the rhino challenge!!
Yesterday as my six year old yelled at me for not wanting to get into the bath and my three year old yelled about everything else, I realized that I am the reason they yell. They have learned that behavior from me and I am the one who has set the example. I’m ready for my whole family to change and I will be driving that change by being an example to them of how to act and how not to yell.
I am in the same boat with you. My Daughter is 6 and yells at me alot for trivial things. She has started to pinch and smack me. I don’t do anything but raise my voice. Sometimes I say things that are demeaning 🙁 Let’s do this challenge! We can do it!
I am thinking of taking this challenge- except, I am not the parent. My goal will be not to yell at my MOM. I am in my early twenties, and she is in her mid fifties. I moved back home with her a year ago. Despite the fact she is a parent, our relationship has always been a bit of a role reversal. Now that she is older, with a few extra disabilities, she is growing crankier and meaner, and while it is hurtful and I feel justified in my yelling, I hate yelling. I hate it. Sometimes I catch myself and realise I could have handled the situation better.
It builds up after awhile… anyways, gonna try this. Thanks for the idea.
After a very loud afternoon on the beach with my 7 year old son yesterday, today is the day! I heard yet again, the mother that I do not want to be. I’m so glad to have found your site not only to find a way to stop yelling, but that I’m not alone. My trigger yesterday was due to stresses in our lives (we are planning an international move back to the US). I’m going to set a goal to get through the summer without yelling at my 2 beautiful children. Day 1, here I go! :).
Starting this challenge today! I have a 5 yr old daughter and a 6 yr old son who I have yelled at way too much lately. Thanks for the site to help keep me motivated!
OK so I am going to try this! I am going to set a low goal cause I am very aware I scream way to much and way to often! I have a 7 yr old son and 2 yr old daughter! The other.day we were at my mom’s house and for some reason I don’t even remember why I’m sure it was over something small but I yelled at my son! My mom and dad said something and then my dad said I don’t understand why y’all think you always have to scream talking to me and my mom! Then my dad said to my mom she gets it from you cause you always scream at them growing up! So my mom turns to me and said you know what that’s right I was a screaming mom and my mom was the same raising me and my brothers and sisters and I didn’t break the pattern but maybe it’s your turn to try! So the other day I woke up and said OK it’s going to be a good scream and yell free day! well I made it to about supper time and was right back to yelling! So I looked up on Google (How to break the pattern of being a yelling parent and becoming a better mom).and I came across this site! So I am going to give my self to start with a 3 day goal! Wish me luck!!!! Ps: Sorry it was so long just felt like I really needed to get that all out!
I hope you’ve had some success! I loved your post and it helped me decide to take the challenge, too.
I am going to start the challenge tomorrow as the kids are already asleep for today. Although if I started today at least I would make it through one day! My first goal is to make it through 30 days without yelling at my kids. Our home is desperately in need of a more in control calmer Mom. Thank you for helping me get started.
I am ready to take the challenge! Today is my Day 1! I talked to my girls this morning and explained the challenge to them as we’ll-they were excited! Here we go……
starting my challenge now! So glad.i.found this page just when I really needed it!
Taking the challenge. Starting small with 10 days, but once I meet that goal, I’ll shoot for 365!
I SO need this. Feeling like the worst parent in the world and feel like I’m losing my bond with my 3 year old. Want to succeed with a 6 month no yell challenge. Want to set a good example for my 3 year old and 1 year old.
I’d also like to add, my challenge is yelling and being too physically rough with my son when he is pushing my buttons. Before I was a mother I was horrified by spanking. Now I’m horrified that I’ve become a spanker/hitter. And, I see physical responses just having a negative impact but I have trouble not spanking or hitting in the moment. So, my challenge is both yelling and hitting. Am I the only one here with that problem??? Or am I just the worst mother in the world? Feels very bad to admit but I know it must stop because I’m tired of feeling guilty and feeling like I’m teaching my sons poorly.
You are not the only one. I came from a family of yellers and spankers. I am in the same situation with my boys and the worst part is the spanking is not affective. I think we all feel like horrible mothers at one time or another. The fact you are concerned and trying to find a better way proves what a good mom you are. Good luck. Im just starting also 🙂
As a child who was raised in a family of yellers, I always said I wasn’t going to be like that. Well, guess what? I am. I have a six year old son and I feel so guilt ridden after I yell at him and he tells me that he doesn’t want to be around me because I am a mean mommy. I found this from a friend posting about it on Facebook and I thought, for the sake of my family, I HAVE to do this. I am also adding in not yelling at my husband, because, let’s be honest, he gets way more of it than my son does! I am going to do 365 days of no yelling at my son or husband! Thank you so much for the inspiration and support available here!
I pinned this a few months back and finally decided I really needed to get fully committed. I have a 3 year old girl and 18 month old little boy and am expecting another little boy in November. I am really struggling with yelling and want to be better and my husband is going to take the challenge with me. Thanks soooooo much for your inspiration and tips.
I am starting. Today. For the next 30 days. I’m doing it. I will stop yelling and love more. God has used this website in my journey to controlling my anger and I think Him for that and for you!
I just found this blog through Pinterest (of course)! I LOVE this idea! I read all the details to it & I wanna give it a shot! My husband & I have 5 kids all together! Yes, 5. Ages are 12 (girl), 11 (girl), 10 (girl), 7 (boy), & 5 (girl)! We have them full time & I think I may go insane at times! I have told myself a few times that me yelling at them isn’t doing any good, and after reading this, I realize that it really doesn’t! So why not take the challenge & try to make all of us a little happier! 🙂 So here we gooooo……..
I’m very excited to begin the 365 day challenge! As a mom of challenging twins in the terrible twos and a 6 year old, I yell a lot more than I’d like to admit! I will chronicle my journey on my blog and will upload your button to my website:) Thank you for being such an inspiration!!
Im definitely joining here. I need some help! hahahah really, I need a break sometimes. I’m a yeller before but trying not to now but at times I just can’t take it.
Found your blog through a friend and it is great timing! My hubby and I had a conversation about yelling at our kids just the other day.I can’t wait to share this with him! We love our 3 kiddos to pieces, but we get so easily frustrated with them! Not to mention we feel like we are teaching them that yelling is how to communicate with others. It seems that once I start telling my kids just start tuning me out. I know it doesn’t get me anywhere and then I’m left with the guilt. I am up for this challenge! Day one here, 364 to go! 🙂
I stumbled upon this and am very much a yeller. I try so hard not to, but my kids are age 10 and 7 and the bickering between them is endless.
My husband just sent me an article that brought me to this page. I am joining the challenge. I am hopeful that he will join with me. my 5.5 year old daughter is starting to go right to yelling when she talks and I know that it is because she has learned that from me. So I will be modeling better behavior and hers will follow.
thank you for your openness and honesty and starting this challenge.
I’ve read this over recently and felt too overwhelmed and depressed at the idea of tracking my faults (yelling!). Now I’m so tired of feeling like I fail every.single.day whether it’s because I yelled, scolded harshly, or told one of my kids to just be quiet 🙁 I hate the monster I’ve become. I know it’s mostly because of being overwhelmed and feeling like I don’t know how to give everyone the attention they need, plus the house and meals and be happy doing it all. Here’s to ONE day of not yelling OR being cold. That is what we need so desperately.
Yes! And I’m seeing a new struggle to deal with. My children don’t think I’m serious unless I yell.
I definitely need this challenge! I am a loud person naturally and with three kids & three dogs in one small house, I’ve noticed that my mood sets the tone for our day. My challenge is to make it the summer with no more yelling! I’m hoping those bracelets get in soon, I think I’m going to need it!!
I am a mother to 2 daughters ages 2 and 4. I am practically a single mother since my husband works 70 plus hours a week. I have no family near by and haven’t found a baby sitter in since moving a year ago. The only time I am away from my children is the one hour I am at the gym. I yell and scream every day. I feel horrible about it and cry regularly from the guilt. My 4yr old has told me she wished she had a mommy that didn’t yell. I am so glad I found this blog through the Parents magazine. I really need the support.
Kandice, I definitely understand your situation! My own kiddos often comment about “mommy’s crabby mood” when I go on a bout of yelling. Hang in there-we can do this! I’m starting today and things can only go up from here, right?!? 😉
Thank you for this blog!! Today was Day 1 for me and I raised my voice once. But was immediately aware of it. So I’m starting over again tomorrow. But I’m so glad for this forum!! I really want to do this! My kids and husband are worth it. Thanks again!!
Are you able to create a counter of some sort, so that when we sign up, we can visually see which day of our challenge we are on?
I am on Day #13 if the 365 Day challenge and can already feel the difference in my family. We all yell less and hug more. So thank you Orange Rhino. One question for you is – what constitutes a yell? 2 days ago I raised my voice when my 5 year old son kept playing his iPad rather than getting ready for school, despite my repeated reminders to change first. It wasn’t a yell. But was louder than my usual talking voice. Interestingly, after 11 days of not yelling as I usually do, this had a bigger impact on him than I would have expected. He went very quiet and I had to stop rushing and sit with him on my lap and just hold him till we both felt better.
I am IN! Coincidentally also started a one-month no soda challenge – not sure which is going to be more difficult! But seriously, every time I yell at my kids I feel so guilty and feel like I am killing their kind souls a little bit – death by a thousand cuts. I had the same moment – my son did something very typical for a 5-year-old and just looked at me frozen in terror waiting for me to explode. That’s when I knew. I always figured, “Hey I NEVER hit my kids, so that’s great” but I know deep down the yelling (and sometimes MEAN yelling) is much worse. I am too embarrassed to share on Facebook even though I know it holds me accountable, so I will rely on this site for support. Do you tell your kids about the challenge so they can hold you accountable? My daughter is 10 (tomorrow, hope I’m not too late) and will definitely hold me to it – that is the thing she always says, I yell at her all the time and always seem so stressed. And yet she always writes notes to me that I am the best mom in the whole world. Sigh – the guilt.
I know what you mean. My daughter is 3 and when she spilt her food, she looked terrified. And that’s when I knew I had to change. I want my kids to make mistakes without fear as that’s how they learn and grown. This site is wonderful and just knowing other parents are out there feeling the same, without judging is the best feeling. I am on Day #13 and can already see the difference in my 5 and 3 year olds. They are still not model children by any stretch, but laugh more, jump higher and hug more. And just yesterday when my daughter fell over and started crying, her brother ran over, and cuddled her and bought her her favourtie toy. Which melted my heart. So I don’t think it’s ever too late to try to change. All the best on your Orange Rhino Challenge.
I am a stay at home mom of 5. One year old, two year old, three year old, seven year old step son, and ten year old step daughter, and I’m 23. I always yelled in response because I was constantly frustrated at one kids or another. . I’m on day 2 of my challenge, because something HAD TO CHANGE. I was finding that yelling isn’t that effective except to scare my kids, and that’s the last thing I wanted. So glad I found your blog! I’ve also found that this sudden change had the kids slightly confused lol.
I accept the challenge because I love my kids, and I want to be remembered as “mom” and not the yelling monster <3
Read the important thing about yelling on MSN.com and I almost cried. I have a 4 year old boy and a 3 year old girl and I’m married but I always seem to be the only one that does anything. I’m over worked, stressed with Karate, ballet, bills, rehearsals…I’m exhausted! I yell cause I’m frustrated, I yell because I feel over stretched, I yell because my kids get more attention when they behave bad and they’ve realized that and screaming, running around the house and fighting is the only way to get my attention. I feel absolutely horrible as a mom cause I can help/save someone else as a friend but I can’t seem to get myself out of my own hole. I even snap at my husband cause he’s almost as worse as the kids sometimes. *sigh* I need to stop yelling for the kids, my own sanity and for my health. DAY 1 starts today. Wish me luck.
I’m up for it although I’m pretty good at speaking kindly to my kids, its always nice to have support! I go through periods where I’m the awesome mom I always knew I’d be, then fall out of the groove I’m in for a bit before I say, “screw this”! I want to be awesome more often;-)
I am a single mom with three kids. I yell way too much and my kids are now yelling at each other. I need to stop yelling forever (by taking it moment by moment of course) and regain control of my house as well as build my children back up as the yelling is destroying us!
I accept the challenge for 365 days. I should be “cured” after that! Yelling robs me of control and I want it back! Thank you for this opportunity to make a difference in the lives of my children.
I’m a yeller – yep, I’ve said it. I am a yeller. I don’t like it anymore than any of you. I’m not a bad Mom but I do feel guilty at time. My kids love me to death and I could be better (and quieter!) I guess this is my chance to change that. I am in! Starting small – one week. Working up from there. So glad I am not alone!
This is exactly what I need 🙂 I hear my self constantly yelling and I hate myself for it I have a 10 year old step daughter who love dearly and who lives with us full time who i have raised with a gorgeous husband since she was 6 months old, but feel that all my communication is via yelling…so I am going to so the 365 days, I would love to fall pregnant and have not since trying so think a calm house hold could only help 🙂 I get extremely angry during PMS so feel this would also help this… Thankyou so much for an amazing idea… I shall start along with my girl first thing in the morning because I want her to share this and grow from it also 🙂 Thankyou again.. I pledge I will not communicate via yelling from 9.44pm Weds 29th May 2013… I’m excited
I’m in! I know I yell way to much at my kids, and I hate it. Going to start small and go for a week. Lets see of I can do it!
I started yesterday. After an argument with my husband about disciplining the kids – I was for the firm voice and consequences; he didn’t see a problem with yelling. Now, I DO yell quite a bit…and the arguing is unhelpful, and because my kids are special needs, the stress is quite high. So, I’m doing something different. And hopefully by modeling this something different, hubby and kids will see the positive effects and take up a similar banner. Glad this came along when it did.
I already tried this idea for a whole month before and it worked. Then I lost my temper and started yelling again. I am glad one of my friends emailed me this website. I will try again and try to persevere longer than the first time. Thanks for the great idea!
I have 2 children – a son who is 5 and a daughter who is 3. This morning I was running late for work and my son was running slow. I know he needs more time to get up and get ready but today didn’t give him that time. Instead I rushed him, and called him a baby, hurt his feelings and in the end, made him cry. I am now at work feeling terrible. What a way for a 5 year old to start the day. With his mother – who should be his advocate and support – belittling him. I need to get my temper under control and model the behavior I want them to have as adults. I found your site completely by accident and your comments and challenge, resonated with me. So today I start my 365 day challenge of no yelling. I am determined to teach my kids patience, love, resilience and above all, the fact that whatever they do – I will be the adult and keep my temper under control. I also plan to join your FB site.
Okay I sm starting today becusecI have been struggling with this and being overwhelmed and stressed out and I se wht it is doing to my kids and our relationship. I ned o do this I ove my kids so much and they are worth it
I am so happy to have come across this and I am starting the challenge today!! Well tomorrow… And it is so nice to read about so many other parents that struggle with this – I am a stay at home mom of a 4 yr old girl , 2.5 and 15m old boys and my yelling is out of control and needs to stop – my 4 year old remarked when I asked why they weren’t listening when trying to leave the house that it was because in short terms because of the way I talked to them and that daddy doesn’t yell at them like me:( it was eye opening and heartbreaking at the same time to think about how they are seeing me because of how I deal with the stress etc I hope I can succeed in this!!!!
I am in! I have posted about it on my blog and I have shared the post on facebook. I have been following along for some time now and I feel ready to commit. Thank you. xx
my blog is http://mummyissues.com 🙂
I’m in. I wake up every morning and pray God will help me not to yell, to please fill me with peace and appreciation for my children, rather than annoyance at whatever it is I yell at them for. I’m SO tired of yelling! I’m so tired of hearing myself yell – I can only imagine what it must be like for my 12, 10 & 3 year old. To make matters worse, they also yell – BECAUSE OF ME! So, I’m totally in. I’m not on Facebook, so I won’t be able to document anything there, but I’m keep the journal of when I yell and at whom and why and how I feel about it. I’m hopeful my children and I will have a very lovely summer, yell free!!!! Thank you for this challenge! I’m starting NOW – May 24, 2013 at 2:55pm (Arizona time!).
I’m in! Unfortunately, I have to start tomorrow, since I already ruined today. :S Good thing I found your website! I sure need it!!
First day of summer seems like an appropriate day to start! I’m glad I came across this today. It is a goal I have been trying to set for a long time now. The “summer of no yelling” starts today!
What a wonderful site. Having grown up in a screaming household, screaming has always been a norm for me. I hate that I do it, and don’t want my son to grow up in that kind of environment. He is only 9mo old now so currently my husband is the only one who gets my wrath. 🙂 I will start my journey of no screaming today. My husband will be thrilled and hopefully learning these tools now will spare my son having a mom that screams. I’m embarrassed to say, I never thought a life without screaming was possible. I am inspired by your site to be a better wife, mom, and person. Thank you.
I rarely yell, but I do a lot of “I told you so” and “You always do this” sorts of comments that really are not helping. I need to do a lot less sighing and complaining at them if I want them to do the same. Starting today with day 1.
I am in for the challenge! I have 2 wonderful boys and I don’t want them to grow up thinking yellingis the best way to express their feelings when they are mad,sad or frustrated. I also need this for my husband and I when we are trying to get our point across. I am going to do the 365 days because my family is worth it! Thanks for doing this!
I needed this more than I thought. My seven year old told me that all I do is get on my computer and yell at her. It hurt. I mean it really hurt to hear those words. I didn’t get to have my mother in my life since the age of two and my grandma became my mom figure. She was kind and never yelled. I couldn’t figure out why I was yelling so much; then it hit me. I didn’t see my child truly as a blessing and I was disconnected from her. It wasn’t bothering me to yell at her, because in my eyes, she wasn’t doing what I thought she should be; and I didn’t value her as “my child”. She was just another “being” in the house. Ouch! That stings when you say those words out loud. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my daughter, but I let too many things get in-between her and I. I need to focus on her and not on myself and realize that yelling is not going to change an absolute thing; other than my child’s view and love of me. And, if I’m going to tell everyone I’m a Christian, than I better darn well act like it!
Recently I found God after 18 years of no church and because of that I’m realizing there are lots of things that I need to change and correct in my life. I am the mother of a wonderful five year old little girl named Trinity. I lose my patience with her more often than not and it is a very very bad example for me to be setting on her because of the yelling. My life has become a mess since I lost my job two and a half years ago. I lose my patience and I get angry a lot faster than I used to because I don’t get five minutes of peace and quiet anymore it’s a constant thing that I have a child with me. I don’t get help from my hubby and he gets yelled at too. I am going to embrace this challenge and conquer it with God’s help. I have to stop yelling for not only my family but myself.
I’m so glad I ran across your info on Facebook, I’m coming off 3 days of PMSing and yelling a lot at my 2 girls…age 7 and 10. I know this is a huge trigger for me and my husband can always tell when it’s coming because my fuse becomes very short. My impatience leads to so much guilt that I’m not a good mom yet I know deep down that if I had more patience, I could feel like a good mom. I’m going to start your challenge today and am excites to see the difference it makes in our family…thank you!!!!!
I need this. My mom was an extreme yeller and abusive. I’ve picked up the bad habit of yelling, I yell at my hubby and my dogs. Now I have a three month old and I do not want to yell at her when she grows older. I don’t want to yell at my hubby or my dogs anymore. I hope if I do this now I can break the cycle and be a better mom than my mom. Be the mom I wish I had when I was young. This is just a step in the right direction.
I am going to take up the 365 challenge. I homeschool our 7 children and yelling is a way of life in our house. Our parrot has even started to mimic our yelling. Not cool. I have felt the nagging guilt for some time to change the ways in our house. I know that I need to be the first to change and the rest will follow. This will be very hard. I yell a LOT. I also LOVE my kids and want to see a change. So here we go!
This is the push to motivate me. I don’t want my children to grow up afraid of me or treading on eggshells so I’m trying 10 days to start with then build to 28. If I can manage 28 then will take it to 365. Here’s hoping…
I came across your blog somewhere in the past month or so and keep saying “tomorrow”. Well, today I start! I have 4 little ones: 2,4,6,8 years old and I default to yelling way too often. I’m going to start with no yelling for 4weeks. One for each of them! And hopefully that will just be the start! Thank you for creating this community!
I never thought I would see the day when I became my father. I am a major yeller and i’m definitely not proud to say it. I find I yell a lot more on my bad days or when I am super busy and the kids just will not cooperate.
I have noticed that I am not a constant yeller, but a post-repeat yeller. I can say something about 3-4 times before I get mad and eventually yell. That gives me some hope that I can actually do this. Maybe not perfectly, because I know I will have a lot of slip ups. I’m starting off with 1 month as my goal because I know 365 days is not a reasonable goal right now. I want to build up to this and hopefully, month by month, I can get better at not yelling.
You’ve inspired me and I can’t wait to see where this new journey takes me.
My name is Danielle and I am a yeller! I feel better knowing I’m not the only one who yells, and then feels awful about it, but doesn’t know what to do to stop it. As a military wife, I take deployments 1 day at a time, and it gets me through with flying colors. So why wouldn’t it work for yelling too!?!
I’m so excited to start this Challenge. I’ve downloaded my chart and stop signs, I’ve got an orange rhino as my wall paper, and orange rhinos all over the house! I’m hoping tomorrow is a successful Day 1. Here’s to a happier and healthier family! THANK YOU!!!
I am so excited that I found your page. This challenge is definitely something my family and I need. I know it will new tough, but I look forward to stronger, healthier relationships. Thanks!!
I am ready to take this challenge on. My beginner goal is one week with no yelling. With four daughters in our house, the hormones are constantly flying. I need to get mine under control.
Ready. Set. Go!
I just want to say that I’m SO glad I stumbled upon your blog via Pinterest!! I am taking the Orange Rhino Challenge, starting today. I am going to start out with a 30 day challenge and go from there. I am 24 years old and have a four year old boy named Aiden- My snuggle bug <3. Thank you for all the you do its an inspiration.
I’m taking the challenge! No yelling at kids and even more – no fighting with DH in front of them! Yelling at dd was a rare occurrence until ds was born and having her be rough or shriek and startle the baby drives me CRAZY! And I just went back to work and DH drives me batty. I can do it!
I’m in far to often I find myself in screaming matches with my 3 yr old daughter. I can see that it is affecting her. My goal is 30 days.
I am going to try to go a week without yelling at my two daughters. Can’t wait to hand my girls the Stop! Don’t Yell We Love You! orange rhino picture.. they are going to love it.
i in to try, my goal is small but im gonna go with a week if no yelling, my poor 3yr looks so sad when i yell at her, gotta change it now for her and her baby sister
I hope it’s not to late… My husband and I have been chatting about we need to be a more loving family! Today we all hugged each other individually we are a family of five. Two boys and one baby girl.
I soooooo need this. I have a 4.5 year old that has found every bottom I have an pushes them ALL every day!!!! I’m in but I’m going to start a bit slower and work my way up to a year.
Thank you for this!
Am about to take on the challenge myself. I will be tracking my progress on my blog – tableof7.wordpress.com
Thanks for the support and the inspiration 🙂
This is exactly what I need! A couple nights ago I sat at the kitchen table with my husband and he expressed how concerned he was about my anger and frustration with our 2 kids. I have found myself yelling more and more, and saying really hurtful things that I immediately regret. And now I’m yelling at them to stop yelling hurtful things at eachother. It kills me because I know I have modeled this behavior; I have taught them to act this way! It has to change, and I am the only one who can change it. I see a lot more orange in our future, thanks for the motivation!!
This sounds almost like me last night. My older boys had made me really mad and I was again yelling at them then my husband started yelling at our 3 year old for reasons unknown. I finally started crying cause my poor 8 month old is having to listen to this constant yelling. So both my husband and I agreed we both need to work on not yelling. I think yelling is contagious and if one person does it another person will start too if they are around it all the time. I printed off calenders for us to mark with a heart if we have a good day, I printed off 2 one for me and one for my husband. Before this I wasn’t having much luck but I hope that now my husband is doing this with me we will be able to do it together. Kind of like having a workout partner. Good luck!!
Nicole, I love the calendar idea! Maybe I’ll make some for my kiddos too, and when we reach our goal, we’ll celebrate with frozen yogurt 🙂
Good luck to you too!
Ran across this, and as a mother of 4 yelling happeneds during the day lol but I have been wanting to stop yelling, it only helps for 5mins and they are back at it so I’m in! My goal sort term 3 months without yelling, long term stop for good! Here I go there’s nothing to loose and a ton to gain I can do this I can do this
I’m so glad I found this. Exactly what I needed; I’ve been on my last string of sanity for awhile now. I’m taking the challenge. I’ve liked your FB page, wrote a bit about my thoughts surrounding the challenge in my own blog, and put up a button to your blog. Thank you for this; community always helps!!
Ah, yes, blog link: http://www.hammeredandchained.wordpress.com
I am truly inspired. This is so needed in my life right now! I have 3 children, a 16 yr old (almost 17, but thinks he’s 25), an 11 yr old son and 6 yr old daughter. Oh, and the husband too! I yell too much, period. And honestly, it’s sucks, and I have had many nights where I have been sickened by my words or tears and always feel awful for yelling. I’m ready for this, thank you for being so honest with your journey!
I’m so happy I found this! I’ve been beating myself up lately for how much I’ve been yelling. I never used to be like that, but my 2 kids are getting older, their dad and I have been split up for about 9 months, and I have a lot going on in my life now. I’m general manager at my job now, so that’s very stressful, and am also working on cutting other things out of my life. I’ve definitely found that the more stressed I am, the more likely it is I will yell at my kids. I also yell more when I have committed to too much; there’s just too much on my plate. That’s my fault though, and something I want to work on. I’m gonna try this for 30 days first, and go from there. Thank you again, really looking forward to seeing if this works and what kind of effect it has on all of us.
Oops forgot to say what my goal is….I want to not yell in the mornings….such a hard time of the day but definitely realize already I yell more when I have not gotten enough sleep or have a lot on my mind!
I’m in! I found your blog today out of complete desperation!!!! I am so disgusted with myself and have definitely acknowledged that I need to make some changes….my kids are just being kids! I’ve told my kids about this challenge and my daughter already said that she is just going to say in a whisper voice, “whisper mommy”! We all deserve better than this, them and me! Thank you for your words of wisdom and for sharing, sharing your highs and lows and exposed it all! That’s not easy! Thanks again!
Like a lot of other parents on here I feel guiltier by the day for the way I yell at my son. I was talking with my friend this evening about changing our habits in order to get better behavior out of our kids. It was like a huge lighted sign straight to your site on Pinterest. I’m very thankful to have found you and your site. It gives me hope to know that this behavior is fixable!
My son (7) is starting to ask to live with his father more and more because of how I treat him. It is never easy to hear and it breaks my heart that we are not close at all.
I will be starting this challenge immediately and journaling about it. I need positive changes in my life quickly!
Here we go, I am in, my goal is to not yell starting at a month and then who knows we will see. I just want to be able to communicate better with my children.
I’ve always been a teller, it’s how I grew up. I am going to try for 30 days. I’m glad I read this.
I am in, I am hoping that if I stop yelling then maybe my daughter will too. Then the 3 of us (me, my son and daughter) can communicate with each other better. Then when Daddy gets home it will be easier on everyone.
I ran across this through Pinterest. I have a serious yelling problem and I have often wondered how other parents get through the day without yelling at their defiant toddlers. My husband and I are both going to try this. We will work through this together.
It’s high time for this momma to quit being a yeller! I have noticed that I’m yelling more and more frequently as I attempt to wrangle my 2.5 year old daughter and 1.5 year old son. After coming across this blog tonight I have decided that I’m ready for change. I’m ready to have a good, healthy, and safe relationship with my kids. They will never be this little again and I love them far too much to spend this precious time yelling. I’d love to never yell ever again, but right now I need progress. My goal is 7 days of no yelling! I will continue reading all of the inspiring posts on this blog as I face this next week. I am feeling truly blessed and thankful that God has led me to this community of people who can encourage me with this something that I so dearly need. Thank you, Orange Rhino
Today was day two of this challenge for me. I’m trying to figure out what my triggers are so I can try and be aware and hopefully learn to avoid the triggers before I yell. When there comes a time that my triggers are unavoidable I will try the various tips from this blog and The Orange Rhino Facebook page.
After being a single mom with my 7 year old girl for 5 years I am now remarried and 39 weeks pregnant with another little girl. I feel horrible that my older daughter has had to deal with me being a yeller for the first 7 years of her life, but am so thankful I found this blog and the Facebook page to help me move forward and check my yelling habit.
Good luck to all you amazing moms and here’s to day three!
OK. Can I say that you are amazing!! This is just what I need. I will be emailing you I am sure of it. I don’t have facebook, so I won’t see you there, but I have a blog and i think I will be announcing that I am taking this challenge this week. I will link your blog and hopefully others will follow along too.
My Blog- myyoungfamilylife.blogspot.com
Today is day 1 for me!! http://nannysarah.wordpress.com
I posted something on BabyCenter.com about how to teach myself patience because my yelling has gotten out of control as well….I HATE it…for me and my kids….someone suggested The Orange Rhino and here I am! My first goal will be 1week.
my children are now 30 and 26 ,but i now have beautiful grandchildren. I wish there had been as much surport then as ther is now. I dont yell or shout now but being apart of this will keep me on track.
I have two of my three grandchildren 3,4 days a week , and being 3yrs and a year and a half thay can chalange you .so here goes day 1
I am a single mom to a beautiful 3 year old girl, and I work 60 hours a week and take online classes after I put her to sleep. My mom was a yell-er to the point where it almost completely ruined our relationship. Family therapy didn’t help because she was unwilling to see my side of things (or my brother’s and even my dad’s at some points in the process), so I continued therapy alone and for myself to learn that my reaction to her yelling was the only thing I could control in the situation (among other things including an incredible amount about myself and the way I see the world vs. the way my mom sees it which was the root of our issues) and things got better. I swore up and down that I would never jeopardize my relationship with my kids because of something as easy to control as yelling. FAMOUS LAST WORDS!
Now that I am a mom I have fallen into the horrible habit of yelling at my daughter, and it is ALWAYS related to my mood. She is an amazingly good kid and incredibly smart, so she is the kind of kid that I can sit down with and have a conversation with to explain why she can’t or shouldn’t do something. She gets it, and very rarely needs a reminder to not repeat the action. Her doing something “wrong” isn’t what makes me yell though. My yelling starts in when she is being “annoying.” Rationally I know that the annoying behavior is her looking for a little extra love. Often the extra love is needed at an inconvenient time (hence the desire for the love in the first place), but sometimes you really just can’t drop everything you are doing. She is more persistent if I put it off which ends up setting me off. She didn’t do anything wrong, so why am I yelling at her when I really want to be yelling about whatever I have to be doing so that I can give her all the love and attention she deserves every moment of everyday?!?! You said it best when you said because its easy and familiar.
I found your blog through Pinterest, and I’m putting my foot down today. No yelling for 30 days. I’m not sure who I am going to enlist in my support group, but I’m sure I have a couple mama friends who will be willing to help or even do it with me.
Thanks for the inspiration!
I started the challenge on March 22nd with a 30 day goal and made it till March 25th, (at 8pm of all times, 15min. more patience and I would’ve been fine), I did slip up on the 2nd day, but my daughter went running into a parking lot, it was more of a panic yell than anything. I started again the next day and messed up again the morning after due to a bouncy ball in the toilet…2 days later a button pushed into my TV set made my lose my patience, followed by my son kicking the me next day when I asked him to stop grabbing himself, (the kicking is a result of a kid in his class, not liking this phase!), that brings us to today 3 days in and I lost all patience for no reason. My determination to not take medication for my depression issues, (they make me feel like a robot), makes it all so much harder, and I caught myself yelling already halfway into the sentence. For what? My son got from dinner to give me a hug, and since I was distracted by my schoolwork I just assumed he was messing around. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy for me, but I didn’t think Id be doing this badly. I’m starting again tomorrow with my original goal of 30 days. Any advice, support, friendly word would mean a great deal to me, as I’m starting to lose faith that I can become the Mom I want to be.
Excuse all the typos, it rejected my comment 3 times and I must have gotten impatient. =/
Hi I came across your blog on pinterest. I will admit I’m a yeller and I want to stop and I feel I might stand a chance with the support of this page. I have 4 boys ages 11,8,3 and 7 months (obviously I don’t yell at the baby) sometimes when I’m getting angry I try to look at the older boys baby pictures and remind myself I would never yell at a baby. I’m going to take this challenge one month at a time. I look forward to the alternatives to yelling and hopefully repairing any damage I may have caused.
Thank you for setting up this blog. You have done really well in the challenge, and also setting up this to help others as well. I think all mothers need support and it’s really good to have a community like this.
I am ready to take the challenge – 365 days no yell, no anger, no frustration.
I believe with the practice, I’ll eventually build this as a habit, and I’ll be a gentler and calmer mother.
p.s. It’s great to know I’m not alone! 🙂
This is wonderful. I’m going to take the challenge!
I am excited to begin this challenge today! I need my goals on the shorter side so I aim to not yell at my kids through the summer vacation. If i can modify my behavior for that long, I know I can do it through the year. I am a mom of 3, 2 boys ages 6 and 4 and a little girl who is 2. Usually, it is the boys I am yelling at as they constantly rough-house (which quickly leads to one of them crying) and play at a noise-level which drives me crazy. My oldest is particularly sensitive and my tone of voice is not the kindest. I love your definition of ‘yelling’ and hope to keep my voice both soft and kind…just as I ask my kids to do. Thank you so much for setting up this challenge and posting all this great info!
I am taking the challenge starting today – I don’t yell everyday, but with a young baby in our house once again, I am reflecting back on the days when I had my second baby & how I would go to bed crying most nights after yelling at my eldest (who was only 2) and she didn’t understand why I was being like that – I was horrible & hated myself for it (still do) – and I know it has changed who she is as a result. I don’t want to be that mum. I want to be approachable, nurturing and loving, while still maintaining authority by being firm and fair. I am a lot calmer with this baby than before, but I know I can do better & maybe even restore some of the damage I have done in the past. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I found your blog through a pinterest post. Im starting today, I hate when I yell and feel like I have no control. Thanks for all your suggestions and am starting with 30 days and hope I can extend my goal once I get the hang of it!
I am starting this challenge today..I really hope my husband is on board 🙂 wish me luck. Maybe the kids will stop yelling at each other.
My wife loves me so much she sent me a link to this site. My yelling is getting in the way of being a parent – being a dad – and I’m taking the challenge before its too late. I have three great kids – they are very smart, very different, and need something other than volume from me. My challenge starts today. Actually printing a rhino to put over the coffee pot and on the shower door so I start the day on the challenge.
I came across your blog through Facebook . What an eyeopener for me. I am a SAHM with to children 3.5 and 2. I find myself to be “that” parent that I can not stand. I am seeing my kids start to yell especially my 3.5 year old. I do not want him to continue with this behavior so it needs to change with me. I even find myself yelling at my husband!!! So today is day one of the challenge – 30 days of no yelling. ( baby steps I guess). So nice to not feel alone and to know there are other moms and dads out there who yell too a want to change it. What a great community of people. Good luck with your “boulder” . You seem like a very strong woman with a great family!!! Thoughts are with you!!! Can’t wait to read some more posts when you return from your staycation!!!
I just joined the challenge!. I really want to be a better mom and wife
The yelling has gotten out of control. Thank you for being an inspiration” I CAN DO THIS!
Starting today… And I have a group of friends doing it with me…
Raising my voice at my kids is my biggest weakness and the most important thing I want to change about my parenting. I have three boys ages 1,3 and 6. I’m mostly a stay at home mom but i work a few hours a week. It takes a lot of patience to make it through the day. My goal is to not yell for a week. I want to start there. And my biggest motivator is being a good example for my kids. My oldest gets angry easily and I want to show him healthy ways to let out our frustration. Here we go tomorrow will be my first day! Thank you for inspiring me
Made it five days! And starting over at day one today because I yelled at the youngest to stop screaming. I was pushed to my limit and now I’m starting I o Ed but I am determined to do it for my boys.
Okay, I am going to try!!! I think I can do it!! Great tips;) Wish me luck
I am in! Every time I yell at my girls I always end with I promise I not do that again. Every episode ends with someone crying. I truly felt hopeless until I found your blog. I think you have some great strategies and I can’t wait to start!!
I have three kids 2 boys 8 and almost 11 and my sweet 11 month old. I need to work on not crushing my kids spirit. I want my daughter to have a soft sweet spirit and yelling will not helpthat. I need tobehave like.the last I want my daughter to be like…and behave as a wide I would love my boys tohave…… IT’S ON. Thankyou
oops typos behave like the lady I want my daughter to be and like the wife id like my boys to have
I am so thankful that I stumbled across your blog on Pinterest! Although, I know I didn’t just stumble here. The older I get the more I realize that things don’t ‘just happen’. God orchestrates every second of every day…and he knew I needed to find my way here.
I am a yeller. The product of two yelling parents, who are the products of yelling parents. I never saw any other way to handle the stress of life and marriage and kids. It was always yelling and tempers that eventually ruined a marriage and after close to 30 years, ended it. I’m not placing blame, just stating the truth. I could have chosen a different way.
When my first son was born, I sat in the hospital bed and promised him better. With gut wrenching sobs I promised him that he would not grow up in a house like I did, hiding and scared and nervous, walking on egg shells trying not to make mom mad. And I did pretty good for a while. I don’t think I yelled for well over a year. I patted myself on the back and thought that I had broken the ugly cycle. But then he got bigger and started testing the limits and I started yelling. When his brother came along and he was just 24 months old (and very much into his terrible twos) I yelled more and louder. I even remember yelling at my newborn one night, when he woke to nurse in the middle of the night. It was one of my worst, ugliest moments. Three years later, it still makes me sick to my stomach to think that I could ever have yelled at my beautiful, perfect one month old. It makes me ashamed. It only happened the one time, but I’d give my life to have that night back.
Then there was the time, two years later when I had just arrived home from a long stressful day and my then 4 year old was whining and crying and refusing to take a nap and my two year old was having a tantrum because I wouldn’t give him a cookie and I just lost it. I screamed and yelled at them both. The two year old ran away and hid and cried more and the 4 year old had this look in his eyes…I’ll never forget it…he looked at me like I was a monster. Then he began scooting away from me and grabbed a blanket, curled up on the floor in the fetal position and threw it over himself. There was this undeniable fear in those big, beautiful blue eyes and well, I felt like a monster. I swore I’d never yell like that again, and I haven’t. Not to that extent. But I still yell. I still raise my voice. I’m still short tempered. And now I’m 33 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. I don’t want her coming into a house with a crazy, short tempered, yelling mom. And I don’t want my beautiful baby boys to have to listen to it one more day.
I’ve been telling myself lies. I’ve been pretending that this pregnancy, and the hormones, and the aches and pains, and the exhaustion that comes along with it, and trying to keep a clean house, and raise and home school two pre-schoolers is the reason why I yell, and that once she arrives and we get into a routine that I won’t feel as stressed and that I won’t yell anymore. Ha! Who am I kidding?! I’ll be twice as exhausted and twice as stress with a newborn in the mix! And I know that if I don’t take the necessary steps to fix this, right here, right now today, I’ll just keep on yelling. And my kids will live their entire lives in a home just like I did. With a yelling, stressed out, mom. And the cycle will continue and they’ll yell at their kids who will yell at their kids. Their only saving grace is their amazing father, who never yells. I thank God every day for that precious man, with his calm, caring nature. In almost 9 years of marriage, I have not once even heard him raise his voice…at me, or our children. What a blessing he is!
So thank you for your transparency and honesty. Thank you for making public your commitment to give your children a happy, healthy, peaceful home in which they can grow. And thank you for asking us to take this challenge along with you. I’m in! I’ve already told my boys about using “Orange Rhino” as our code words to use if Mommy starts raising her voice or yelling and at 5 and 3, they thought that was just the funniest thing ever! lol. I love their silly sense of humor. 🙂 So, starting tomorrow, March 29, 2013, I will be keeping count of yell-less, calm days with you…because I’ve already blown it this morning. I’m so thrilled to be starting this journey!
I hope its going well for you! I feel the same way, there’s so may times that Ive felt so awful about snapping off at my kids, almost 6 and almost 5, that Ive went to bed crying about what a bad Mom I am. So far I failed 5 times, which makes me so sad to admit, but being mildly bi-polar makes it so much more of a challenge, (I’m sure with you being pregnant you can relate!). I hope your having an easier time of it, and it you need someone as support or to vent to let me know, (I know I could use it!), and we could exchange emails. Its such a great step to take for our kids, and no matter how many times I fail I’m determined to keep at it!
Wow…I feel so happy that I came across this. My name is Becky and I have one 3-year-old daughter. While I feel pretty good about my interactions with her on a regular basis, there are definitely times that I walk away feeling like the mean mommy. I’m going to start with a goal of 1 month of no yelling in the morning. My daughter is not a morning person and getting her up and out the door to childcare while trying to get myself ready for work as well is a HUGE trigger. I feel like, right now, if I can have some success during the first two hours of my day it will make me a better and calmer mom over all.
Imma do it too! I yell too much and it makes me stressed out, grouchy and leaves me feeling guilty. My kids deserve better!
I just found you on Pinterest! I am ready to take the challenge! I can’t go another day with the yelling and not do anything to change my behavior. My family means too much to me! Thank you for sharing your journey.
This challenge is exactly what I need. I don’t want my kids to look back and think of me as the mom that yelled all the time. I’m in!
So, I somehow stumbled upon this “orange rhino challenge” while looking around on-line, & it couldn’t have come at a better time. I have a 2 kids, both girls…2 yrs old and 2 months old. I also am in a loving marriage, that just hasn’t seen much “love” lately…between the stress of a very busy and SASSY toddler, a newborn who seems to cry ALL OF THE TIME, no sleep for me…EVER, the fact that I am VERY UNHAPPY with my new body & no time to actually work on improving said body….and that my husband and I have no time for each other lately…I have felt like I have been yelling at everyone, for what seems to be everything…A LOT! This will most definitely be a challenge for me and I hope that I can get through it, without self-imploding! Anyway, I’m going to try and shoot for 1 month of no yelling and see how this goes…Wish me luck!
This could be the tool I’ve needed to conquer my yelling and short fuse. Mother of four: almost 8 year old boy and three girls, 6, almost 4, and 2. Currently babysit two boys so the house always has four kids in it. Most waking hours I’m on my own, my hubby has a rotating shift so he’s either sleeping during the day (try keeping 4 kids quiet when they can’t go outside) or at work. First goal is to not yell for a week, once I’ve done that I’ll increase it.
I have started my challenge today… I’m blogging about it too… thanks for the inspiration.
I have 4 sons – I yell every day – except today because of you… what an amazing thing.
Just the push I needed today to start making a change. My twin 2 year old boys and their 5 yr old big sister deserve it. Thanks!
I am ready to take this challenge. I yell at my kids and sometimes yell for no reason. It breaks my heart to see how this has affected my kids especially my 3 year old. Its time to break the cycle with myself.
I am going to try this challenge. I have a two year old and a five year old. I find myself being the bad guy a lot as far as yelling goes. I feel like I miss out on a lot with my kids because of this. We will see how it goes. I have to start with short term goals or they get overwhelming so I am going to do my 365 one week at a time!!
I stopped yelling (again) last Friday, and started yelling (again) yesterday. Today, my patient husband gently sent me here and gave me hope that I can end this. Because so many others are striving to ending it, too. I feel like I’ve just stumbled upon my long-lost tribe! I’ve struggled to stop yelling ever since I started when pregnant with my second. This shrieking madwoman still shocks me every time she appears, but is all-too-familiar to my children. I now have sweet, amazing kids ages 5, 3, and almost 1 who’ve heard far too much shouting and rage from me, despite promising many times that this yell will be my last, despite *knowing* that yelling. does. not. work. Somehow, the older ones still forgive me every time. But they shouldn’t have to. I’m with you, parents making this change.
So I am a mother of 3 very busy boys. Ages 10, 4 and 1. My 10yr old was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 3yrs old. His “hyper-ness” and attention span of a Nat have always been a challenge for me. After asking my 10yr old to do his chores, or even 1 simple chore 5-6 times, I find myself yelling and then afterwards I feel like I was being abusive towards him. 🙁
I was brought up in a house full of yelling and screaming, and they say that you are a product of your environment. Well, I have taken on that environment and do not like the out come. I here by start the Rhino Challenge and bring in a new environment for my family to live in, full of love and support.
I am a yeller, have always been a yeller, and no longer want to be a yeller. I am going to try the 365 Day challenge and have my 10yr old help me by keeping track on the calendar. For everyday that I do not yell, he will put a check mark on the calendar. Best of luck to everyone that is either doing this challenge, has already done this challenge, or is just starting out like myself. We Can Do It!
I am happy to be joining you today thanks to my husband sending me a link to your post “10 things I learned”. I had a major blow up this morning at my 4 year old for the dumbest little thing and realized I could benefit from your wisdom (even if it did piss me off that my husband had to point it out to me). Looking forward to being a rhino.
I started 8 days ago and the 2 major things I have learned are 1. The things I seem to yell about are so dumb and meaningless in the long run. 2. Nothing has escalated between me and my kids since I stopped yelling. Sure, they still get mad and sometimes stomp off but NOTHING has turned into a screaming battle! Good luck with the challenge. I know you can do it!! Welcome to the party 🙂
I am so glad I found your blog. I am taking the Orange Rhino Challenge for 30 days. You have inspired me … Thank you so much tonight I will be making print outs and picking up some orange stuff 🙂
I am doing this for my children and myself . I grew up in a house where yelling was second nature and I hated it and in the last few years I noticed it has become part of our home and I always swore it wouldn’t. So thank you 🙂
The part that I forgot to emphasize (where the yelling comes in) is that they are kids, and they are BOYS. Which means chores don’t always get done the first… (or the fifth) time I “ask” they rarely get done right(meaning my way) or in a timely fashion (meaning as fast as “I” could have done it) They don’t always work up to their potenial (the way “I” see it).
I wanted to put this out there because these are the things specifically that came to mind during my prayer time that showed me the problem was more me (do you see all the “I’s” I listed. They are great kids, but they are kids and I have to be mindful of this. I am also very thankful that my Lord is much more patient with me, and I would like to show that kind of love and guidance to my boys.
I am starting this right now. Thank you for this great challenge and bringing it out into the open. I am embarressed to say how much I struggle with yelling, all the time. The more I yell, the more I yell. You know what I mean, once I yell about one thing, my adrenaline is already on overload and I yell about the next thing:( I recently have been praying about my parenting, and my boys behavior and God pointed out to me that much of their behavior was a reaction to how I deal with them. ***smack*** wow, that was a hard reality check. I have a supper smart, God loving people loving 12y/o son, and an equally smart God loving/people loving 8 y/o with aspergars. Today I am begining a thirty day challenge, taking it hour by hour, day by day to get there.
Stumbled upon your page and it could not have come at a better time for me. I see myself lately as “that mom” I never wanted to be and am going to change starting now…I will do whatever it takes. I have noticed triggers lately of why I yell and am realizing its more me than the kids (who are 7 and 4). Stress, no time for myself, messes, having to repeat myself, the list goes on! But you have inspired me to get past this so we can enjoy and cherish the good times because they are growing up way. too. fast.
What a great idea! I’m starting in the morning and am taking the 365 challenge! My babies are almost 3 and 6 and my job is to train their hearts not break their spirits. The way the behave is a direct reflection of how I parent them, so why would I yell at them for something they either haven’t learned yet or that I haven’t trained them in well enough?! I am determined for them to have memories of how much I loved them unconditionally, not how mean and out of control I was. I think I’ll include not yelling at my husband either…he probably deserves some good memories too!! 🙂
Day 1, complete. So glad it was an easy one. So glad I started tMy husband is on board too. With 5 kids and homeschooling, yelling seems to be too common. Here’s hoping that the yellig has ended!
I SO need this! I’ve been working on combating some of my triggers already (without even knowing that was what I was doing), but need to go whole hog. Thanks for making it look like it might be possible to cut out the yelling.
I started on Friday and was doing awesome! I did yell at my daughter once, but she went to run out into a parking lot, and to me that’s more of a I don’t want my daughter hurt type thing rather than actually yelling at her, so I let it go. Tonight however, not so great, after having to bring my daughter with me to a meeting at work, my son deciding it would be fun to ignore everything I said and trying to make a deadline for school, I lost my temper =( Only 1/2 an hour till bedtime too. Starting over tomorrow, 1 month.
Stay at home mom of two under three here, taking the challenge! Just writing that makes me sad. Why an I yelling at me three year old?? Ugh. I can do this! I can change it!
I sooo needed this! I had my worst melt down today with my oldest. I was getting her ready for daycare and she was not listening. It led to me yelling and her getting so upset that the words “I dont like you mommy” came out of her. It broke my heart! that was my sign from God that what I’m doing needs to stop! have been asking God for help with my patience for the past few weeks now and now I’m also guided to this website from a friends FB page. I’m so grateful to know that others are in my same boat and there is a support system. Today was my awaking and I already vowed not to loose it anymore with my girls. I never want to hear those words out of my daughters mouth again. So here is to 365 days without yelling and 365 days filled with Gods love as I can do this with his guidance.
Thank you for your honesty and creating this site so we can all gain strength from one another.
I’m jumping in! I’m ready for a change. I’m a pretty calm easygoing mom most of the time but I could improve. I’ve found myself yelling more, and like you said, it usually isn’t really about this kids. It’s me…I’m frustrated, at the end of my rope, or whatever. My kids deserve to be treated the way I want to be treated, they deserve to be treated like “people” and not “just kids”
Glad I found support, I’ve been searching for something!
Oh, I’m doing a lifelong challenge, but will start with 30 days so I can track my progress!
I have two kids under 3, I am a full time student, stay at home mom, and I’m in a strained, at best marriage and I yell everyday, at everyone. I’m a woman on the edge and I can’t live like this. So I’m gonna start slow, try a week, after 21 days things become a habit so after week one I will do week two then week three and then it will be a habit. Hopefully I can do this. My kids my marriage and ALL of my sanity need this,
I am taking this challenge!!!!! I have been struggling with this for a while and felt helpless. This is truly an answer to prayer. I know it will be hard, oh so hard, but I am ready; my kids are ready. I am starting with a friend and so excited about it. Thank you!
I am so down for this challenge! I do not like yelling at my kids. As a teacher, I don’t yell at other people’s kids so why should I yell at my own?
I’m also going to try to do myself one better, I’m going to challenge myself to not yell at their dad either. That’s a tough one as we are divorced and we rarely agree about anything and usually end up fighting. But I don’t want to fight anymore.
And I don’t want to yell either.
I AM going to take this challenge on!! I am tired of yelling and wanting to cry at the same time. I have a 16 yr old, 7 yr old, and a 6 yr old. I am in school full time and I am almost done so it is getting very stressful around my house. I need to do this for my self and my family
Thank you for this! I spent the morning yelling at my 2 boys (6 & 7). Reading the blog & comments helps me to feel less crazed. Moms do struggle & resort to yelling, I’m not the only one. You’re inspiring & I to want a home without yelling. I’m going to committ to one week at a time (baby steps), beginning right now. I look forward to you’re posts. Thanks again!
You’ve inspired me! I have 4 children and one on the way… And I never wanted to be a ‘yeller-mom,’ but sadly, I have become one. I want to have a peaceful home where my children feel safe and loved. I am starting today! Marking it on my calendar right now! We’ll see how it goes… I’m not giving up!
Allison – Day 1, Take 2.
Ok – I am SO DOING THIS!!! This came at the exact right time for me. I am blogging about it as well. And I joined your FB group. Thank you SO much for doing this. I too have 4 kids as well as homeschool.
I’m starting first thing in the morning! Wish me luck!! My goal is 30 days without yelling!!!
This is a sign. Had a horrible horrible yelling day yesterday and today I saw this posted on FB on a friends page. Printed out the rhino..and setting an incremental goal of 1 week at a time. I’ll be checking in to rant and for support. thanks so much..
Hello all, I am starting the challenge today, which is made considerably easier by my 5 year old son going to his father’s for the weekend! I found myself getting cross at him when we were getting ready to leave, as my newborn baby was crying and my 5 year old was delaying over putting on his shoes and wanting to take lots of his belongings with him to his father’s. I had to refuse as I knew that they would not return with him and then he would be upset. I managed to keep a lid on it but he knew that my temper was fraying. Now that I have read the list of alternatives I feel better equipped for dealing with those situations and I will start using them on Sunday when he returns. Thank you so much for being here and doing this, there are few places where I can admit to yelling and the guilt associated with it. Generally I am told that the yelling is fine, not to worry, we all do it, we are only human. I want to be supported to say no, it’s not fine and I don’t want to do it anymore.
Today is day 5!!! I am so glad I found you!!
WOO HOO! Keep it up!
Day 8!! What a difference! Not going to bed sad and guilty, and they seem calmer. I am so thankful I found you!!
Today was a rough day, came very close. Didn’t yell but said some not so nice things. Day 16…still in it
Hi I’m Ashleigh and I have a son that is going to be 6 next month and a daughter that will be 5 in June. Ive always been the quiet girl, the one that most people don’t even notice, and still I never yell at all, except with my kids, with is a hard thing to admit because that makes me feel even worse about it. Between being mildly bi-polar, constantly tired and stressed, and growing up in a house with people that always yelled, its easy to make excuses. I want the yelling to stop, Ive went to bed so many nights crying over what a horrible parent I feel like, and I want my kids to have better! I have no support system, the couple friends I have are a main reason why I started down this path, as kids see what goes on and chose to push to buttons like they see their friends do. I’m trying for a month starting tomorrow, just so I have a goal I can obtain easier, and the then set another one. I do need help though, and I’m hoping to find that support here.
Amazing timing – I lost it big time this evening, and I need to stop. I would love the support of this community. Thanks, this is brilliant! I am going to try for the full 365! x
Awesome! God sent me this just in the nick of time. I have 5 boys under the age of 11 and we home school. So I find myself yelling and crushing spirits All the time. God will give me the strength to become yell free And loving, just like He plans for me to be. Thanks so much for this encoragment! I am so excited to put to use this simple method and watch God be glorified in my sons’ lives because of the orange rhino!
I am a fellow homeschoole and I love how you put it! I only have one boy age 9 but I find life’s pressures make me impatient and am hopeful this challenge will get me focused on prayer vs. yelling.Let’s do this!
I started today! Half a day down, 364.5 more to go. Woohoo! I have three kids under 5 and I have recently seen them yelling at one another to get their point across. I know they’ve learned it from me and I hate it. I’m making the change so my kids will learn a better way. They deserve mommies best! Thank you for the inspiration. I’m going to take this one day at a time.
I’m in! My husband and I have been talking about the yelling and mean talking lately and we knew we needed a change. Yesterday he sent your link (with a nice comment like “I’m not saying you’re not trying but here is something that could help us all”). Last night we talked to our 3 girls (4, 9, 10.5 yrs) about taking the challenge and we all agreed to start together. This morning was a challenge with piano practice and showering and clothes, hair… But I DID IT!! I made it through the first hard part of my day. Yay- toot toot! A million thanks to you. I have several friends that are all starting the challenge together. We and our families will be ever thankful for the Orange Rhino! ❤
I can do this! I’ll be writing about my journey – http://www.fromdatestodiapers.com thank you for the inspiration!!
Hi! Yes you can do this and by the way…great blog! I can’t wait to dig more into dates to diapers 🙂 But I might not get past your landing page…great picture. I love your positive attitude with that you totally can do this!
I came across this on Pinterest I’m so glad I did I have been praying to try and find a way to stop yelling and being a better mother and this is is where I believe God lead me so I’m starting the challenge tomorrow I’m very excited to do it I’m going to do it month to month to see how I do.
Welcome! I am glad that you found this page – it landed in your lap at the right time! Month by month, moment by moment is a great way to go. Good luck!
I’m taking the challenge!! I’m totally motivated, tons of ideas for getting the kids on board too. I didn’t use to be a yeller, but as my boys got older and the # of boys I had the more I yelled. I’m a single mom of 3 boys (6, 9, 12) one that has ADD and another with ADHD and my autistic nephew (5) whose lived with for the past 6 months. I didn’t realise I yelled so much until I heard the boys yelling at each other and sounding just like me. Baby steps to start with, we’re taking this one day at a time. I have faith that all 5 of us will have 365 under our belts in just over a year(ish).
Love your attitude and that you took your nephew in. Baby steps is a great way to start…one moment at a time. One moment leads to good feelings which leads to confidence and leads to more good moments! You can do this!!!
Hi. I’m starting the challenge. I’m nervous about failing repeatedly because I am a yeller. But I often go to bed at night with that pit you described and I hate it. So, I’m starting my journey of not yelling. For now, my goal is a month. I want it to be a challenge, but not feel impossible. Month by month, hopefully, I will become a non-yeller. Thanks for this blog!
Thanks for reading! Great attitude about month by month, or even moment by moment for that matter! You can do this!!
I’m doing it!
Woo hoo! Good for you!!!
I so need this, I hate that I yell “at” my kids and hurt them! I am taking the challenge 100 days of no yelling! Thank you for this inspiration
Awesome! You can do this! It won’t always be easy but it will always be worth it. Good Luck!
I’m so glad I came across this website! Who knew that other moms struggle with this as well! The yelling causes so much guilt at the end of the day. My mom was a “yeller” and I hated it so I definitely don’t want my daughter to remember me as one. In your testimonial, where you said you would’ve missed out on special moments if you would’ve yelled, that really made me think. My daughter comes downstairs all the time and my response is the same. I can’t imagine how many of those awesome moments I’ve missed out on. 🙁 I’m tired of feeling the guilt all of the time. I’m starting my challenge today!!! Thank you for the inspiration and allowing me to feel like I’m not alone. 🙂
My husband grew up in a yelling home. I did not. Somehow, the yellers seem to overpower the non-yellers, and non-yellers adapt. :/ I don’t WANT to be a yeller. I don’t LIKE being a yeller. It is painful to me when I’m done. I hate every minute of it, but I do it anyway. I started the challenge yesterday. I almost yelled. I held out. I started today with new resolve. I CAN do this! (I’m hoping it’ll help hubby too…even though I haven’t said a word to him about it!) I have a 7-year-old yeller. Wonder where she learned that? I’m hoping if mommy brings a bit of calm, it’ll help calm her. It’s awful. I can’t tell you the last time she didn’t scream that she wants a different family…that she hates me…that she hates our house…but maybe, just maybe, if I bring the level of yelling down, she’ll follow. (I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old as well. The 5 year old is quiet…I’m afraid the 3 year old is learning the ways of the rest of us, though…)
You are right…you CAN do this! Good luck! And just keep telling yourself that you can do this!
I am very hopeful that I can do this. I’m very proud of everyone taking this challenge to stop, lessen, and learn more about ourselves to become better people, moms, wives etc.. I have a 19 month old girl love her with all my heart I just get irritated very easily after asking her 500 times to not get in the refrigerator just to take everything out. Ughh. Anyways how do I posts on the blog page? Today is day one for me marking my tally marks on how many times I get mad and yell. Here we go… good luck to all and thank you for letting me be apart of this amazing challenge!!! 🙂
I agree. I want different for my kiddos. I need this intervention; for the last few weeks, I have been yelling more and more:( And as a result, we all have been unhappy for the last few weeks:( Yuck!
I have a 2 yr old son who’s father still thinks he can do no wrong, I find this to be untrue and in turn feel as though I have to be the enforcer only it comes out as yelling and it’s not too effective, and I always feel horrible after. So I’m starting the challange today In hopes that it turns into a habit. Here we go!
I’m starting today. I grew up in a yelling home and I want differently for my children.
I’m a few days late, but I’m starting your 30-day Challenge today.
I’m starting tonight! Trying to get the kids to stay in their beds is a hard one for me. Hopefully I’ll make it!
I started 3 weeks ago. Shouted at my son today tho 🙁 He ws driving me insane!
I grabbed your Orange Rhino button– do you have one that’s a counter for the days gone without yelling? I think that would be really helpful for me. My non-yelling days started on Valentine’s Day (quite fitting, I think). 🙂
There has been a really lovely change in our home. I’m doing better at trying to understand my son, and I have felt less angry just knowing that I won’t let myself yell (like, I already know I won’t go there, so I don’t get worked up to it).
I’m doing it! Thanks for the motivation to make an actual trackable goal, instead of my “quit yelling” goal from before! The Stop Sign and tracking chart are genius. Printing now! Great for this Type-A mama!
Wish I would have found this along time ago…I have a 12 and 16 year old! I am starting today. I think I am going all in – day 1 of 365 here we go….
Hello! Yay! I’m in. Did this (privately) last year for a month. It felt great and I think it was sustained at least in part for a while. But old habits… so I am back. I am aiming for a month, but if I can make it to two I’ll be (quite publicly) chuffed! Have announced it to all of my loved ones, they are watching with great interest. My beautiful boys (three under five) deserve it. After just one day we are all feeling so good. Thankyou xo
We’re officially calling a restart following a major relapse last week. Wish us luck! xo
Obviously this does not apply to parents with teenage boys who just wont listen and do what they what to do. Any suggestions?
Hi:) I guess I am late in the game, but I just stumbled onto your blog and found myself nodding and nodding and nodding at your descriptions of when and why you yell. Just reading that made me feel better after a really hard day today:) It is nice knowing I am not the only one who yells and yells in my own house, but use my polite, sweet voice when out in public. We just had our 3rd and my husband has been traveling an awful lot and I just went back to work…sigh! I know I am more stressed and tired, thus I lose my patience much quicker:( But, I have seen a change in my two older children…less patience with each other, quicker to frustration point, and not listening to directions. So, yes I NEED to take this challenge for my 3 babies! Thank you:)
I’m starting today! I am a SAHM to a 4 yr old and a 7 yr old, and I’m starting to see signs that my yelling is effecting who they are. I
One of the members of my local moms group posted a link on Facebook mentioning your methods and the no yelling challenge. I think it’s wonderful and something I am going to try to implement with my “strong willed” 3 year old daughter. 😉 Thanks so much for the inspiration and motivation I need to get started and hopefully stay on track!
Love this blog, the idea isn’t new to me but publicly announcing my goal and having support is, I want to go 365 days without yelling at my 3 boys 6 and under because I want to have a great relationship with my boys and respect the awesome little people they are! I will track my yelling for the next few days and work on being mindful about my thoughts and emotions when I am getting close to snapping 🙂
Orange Rhino, you are an inspiration! I’ve always wanted to learn how to become a no-yell mom, and I am taking your challenge!
If you don’t mind, please check out my blog, I just started, and my very first post is about becoming a no-yell mom
Please let me know what you think!
Welcome! And good for you for starting a blog and starting this challenge! I will be doing another 30 day project where I walk everyone through the steps. If you are interested, email me at email@example.com and I will add you. I look forward to reading your blog post!
It’s feb 1st and I am beginning today.
Welcome and good for you! I wish you much luck but then again, but then again you don’t need it 🙂
I am starting this tonight. Thank you!
OK, I love this idea. I wish I’d found you before you were so close to your goal. Are you going to keep blogging/supporting? Like I said, I love the idea, but terrified to try. I’m tired of ending every weekend with a sore throat.
Hello! I am glad you found this blog! I am most definitely going to keep blogging and supporting; I just need to figure out in what manner! I am sending you an email now.
I truly love this idea and that so many people are at least trying to do it. But yeah, I’ve got a very hyper, spirited, intelligent 4-year-old and one really trying to prove the legend of “the terrible twos”, so this will be especially challenging for me. I’m also a single mother with A LOT going on. Pray for me.
Welcome! The good ole “terrible twos” and the joy of a highly spirited 4 year old! Isn’t parenting great 🙂 It does sound like you have your hands full and I will think of you a lot. I think the best thing you can do is to go moment by moment and to forgive yourself for any moment you do yell and to pick up and keep on trying! Any moment you don’t yell is a win. Good luck!
Hello everyone!! I am a mother of 3! #1 is 9, #2 is 5 and #3 is 3. I am a SAHM, and my hubby is a manager at a huge retail change. He works lots of hours so I am alone a lot, but when he is at home he takes over. When things get tough, I yell. It’s like an automatic reaction. I am so thankful for this challenge!! I am so ready to be a better wife and mother! I am starting out with writing everything down. I have an orange notepad, and I am writing down all my emotions as they come!! Looking forward to all the posts and advice!! We can all do this together!! Good luck!!
Sheena, I ran across this blog last night and was in tears. You and I have a very similar story. I am also a SAHM of 3. Ages 8,5,2.My husband also work a tremendous amount of hours therefore I always alone with the kids. I yell all the time and I have to stop. I can see the impression I’m leaving on my kids. I am starting today with a 30 day challenge!! I want so much to change. I hope you have had a life change experience so far. Like you said we can do this together!! Please pray for me!!
Sheena, I ran across this blog last night and was in tears. You and I have a very similar story. I am also a SAHM of 3. Ages 8,5,2.My husband also work a tremendous amount of hours therefore Im always alone with the kids. I yell all the time and I have to stop. I can see the impression I’m leaving on my kids. I am starting today with a 30 day challenge!! I want so much to change. I hope you have had a life change experience so far. Like you said we can do this together!!
I started the challenge today. Instead of yelling all day I just yelled once. I definitely wanted to yell more. I’m glad to be working towards controlling my emotions because that’s something I should be modeling for my two boys who are 1 1/2 and 3 1/2. Thanks for starting this challenge!
That’s great Elise!!!! Keep it up – I know your boys will appreciate it. I wish I had started sooner…
I’m in! My youngest son knows how to push my buttons and has a very bad temper. I find myself now losing my temper all the time when he is losing his temper. I have not found a good way to deal with him when he is losing his temper…he is just so unreasonable and now I am becoming unreasonable too. I want it to stop so I am going to try to do this for a month and then go from there. Thanks for this! I am so glad I found it because after Friday I definitely don’t want to spend what time I have with my children yelling at them!!!.
Hi Angela – you can do this! And I get what you are experiencing, same here! The minute I realized that yelling only made things worse, it helped me immensely to stop. When I tracked my triggers (check out the resources page) I became aware that a lot of my yelling was that I was in a bad mood – this helped keep things in perspective and keep me calm when my son was screaming at me. Have fun with it, get creative! I found the more fun I had trying not to yell the easier it was. Let me know if there is anything specifically I can do to help you!
I’m in! Great idea!!! I think I am going to have my girls take a similar pledge and see how far it gets us. Yelling just escalates everything and the original point is lost…Thank you for the push!
Welcome! I am so glad you found the page. I LOVE the idea of having your girls take a pledge with you. Having my kids involved has been a huge help – we keep each other honest. Yes you are right, yelling gets everything escalated and does no good. It took me a about 10 days and 3 tries to get the swing of this no yelling thing but it IS DOABLE! You can do it! Read my posts for ideas and hopefully inspiration too (the benefits, triggers (even the really taboo ones!) and come to the FB page for support. Good luck!
This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of. There is a time for raised voices and when you have 3 small children it is sometimes necessary. This is just further evidence that today’s youth are spoiled and coddled.
Thank you for sharing your opinion. I respect that we all have different values and approaches. I wish you the best of luck on your parenting journey.
Very diplomatic response… I would’ve “yelled” at her!! haha… I’m starting my challenge today! Love your work 🙂
Modelling self control and good behaviour towards someone you love is in no way coddling or spoiling. Using a firm tone and expecting good behavior is not the same as screaming and yelling all day. Improving on your parenting skills and trying to help others do the same is never a “stupid” idea.
Well said! I’m starting today. Officially. 🙂 thanks for this site. – chelsea
I do not think that *not* yelling at your kids is spoiling or coddling them. What a ridiculous statement! There IS a time for raised voices – like when your 3 year old reaches for a hot pan on the stove. But raising your voice is not yelling. I am a yeller, and there is a difference. My kids, as a result, yell – at anything, everything and anyone. I only see changing this aspect of me as teaching my kids that there are other ways to handle their feelings. This is my two-cents of course. Cheers! =)
Raising a voice to be heard and yelling are very different. It’s about the language used and the intent. Raising your voice so kids hear you before they get hurt is very different from screaming shock value words towards your children in an attempt to discipline them.
But can we please consider a baby/toddler orange rhino challenge because I don’t have the urge to yell at my kids but I do wish they would stop screaming. It drives me nuts, I can’t think and I get a headache, how can they hear me asking them to please stop screaming? And how can I help them feel better if they won’t stop to take a breath? I feel like I very patient with them but of course I’m far from perfect and sometimes I reach the point where I almost give up and want to join the scream fest
I so need this challenge! Four boys and too much yelling all the way around:(
Welcome then! I am so glad that you found it. Please email me if you have questions or want support! You can do this – my mantra is all about yelling less and loving more one moment at a time. Any moment you actively don’t yell when you wanted to is a win!Good luck!
I’ve needed this friendly push for a long time to stop my yelling. I don’t like being a yeller. I doubt I will make it 365 days, but any amount of days is an improvement and a positive step towards being the type of parent I want to be.
Right on – any amount of days or MOMENTS is an improvement and positive step. This is one of my favorite blog posts about it not reall being about 365 but moments, just as you said…https://theorangerhino.com/forget-365-days/ Thanks for reading and I am glad you found this page! If you have any questions, want advice, or want support email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll reply as fast as I can. Good luck!
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I’m starting today. I started yesterday, i have to start over today. : )
You can do it! Welcome! It took me several start overs to get the groove but it is possible! I am rooting for you!
I am starting today! I ran across your page on FB yesterday. I am a single mom of a seven year old. And I catch myself everyday doing what I said I would never do (my mom always yelled at me) my son has even commented in the past that he wished we had a day where I wouldnt be upset with him. 🙁 Things must change! So here I go!!
Welcome and good luck to you! I am glad you found us. Here is a post I wrote about some easy ways to start the challenge. I hope it helps! I found the best thing was telling friends so I had someone to keep me on track AND posting on the Orange Rhino Page when I wanted to yell. it helped me a lot. The first days were hard but it got easier!!
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Ok I’m gonna give it a shot…365 days… *deep breath* I haven’t been yelling very long so hopefully I can kick the habit (why do I feel daunted like I’m giving up chocolate or quitting drugs?)
You feel daunted because it is daunting. And it is kind of like giving up chocolate or quitting drugs (I’m guessing). Because at least for me, it was an addiction. It was easy to do and it made me feel better. At the moment. But not yelling feels even better. Good luck and welcome!
Welcome Michele! Good luck. In my book, just admitting you want to Take the Orange Rhino Challenge is awesome irregardless of how many days you do or don’t make it.
I’m in. We’ll see how long I make it…you’ve inspired me! 🙂
I figured out I’m on day 2. Again! But that’s okay because I’m not aiming for a whole year of not yelling – I’m just trying to police it!!
You can do it!!!!! Love this blog!
I want to take the challenge! My name is Rachel, I am a single mom with two kids. But I want to take the challenge and be a better mom!
Hi Rachel, I just bought the book. I started today, and I already failed. But I will do this, I know you can too. I figured if we recognized the problem and want to change we are in the right path!
It means we love our kids that much to want to change for them!
I NEED to do something about my yelling. My 5 year old has always pushed my buttons. I hate to admit it, but she is by and large the one I yell at the most. Now she has a 6 month old brother, and the middle child just turned 4. My triggers include feeling like a failure at housework, feeling like I have no control over my life, being tired a lot, not seeing my husband very much, not having enough time alone with him, my allergies, my family’s health problems, and the biggest one of all… FINANCES. I am going to start this out with tomorrow, and my goal is just one whole day. I need to feel some success. We’ll go from there.
How has it gone? I feel your pain & your triggers!!! I have a 5 year old boy & 4 year old daughter. My son tends to push my buttons too much by not following directions & by talking back. I work full time & Dad works nights so I spend the most time with our kids. Morning rush is a trigger, being tired & finances & toys not being picked up & rooms getting trashed too!!
I am mother of one. He is 3.5 and so mean. I have huge issues with yelling as that’s how I was raised. I want to work on it in parenting and my day to day life!
I am going to take the challenge. I have a 3 , two 6 yrs, &15 year old. All are spd. One triggers off another. Its just absolutely crazy here. So we will try a day at a time. And go from there.