F.A.Qs for T.O.R.

Last updated Monday, May 13th, 2013

When did the The Orange Rhino Challenge™ start?
Sunday, January 22nd, 2012. The previous Friday my handyman busted me screaming at my boys who then were 5ish, 3.5 ish, 2 ish and 6 months. I realized that weekend that I spent 9 months of having construction workers in my house not yelling because I feared what they would think of me. Yet the minute they left, I yelled freely. That was when I had my first Orange Rhino epiphany: I should care what my boys think of me more than anyone else. They are my most important audience. If I CAN not yell in front of strangers, I can certainly not yell in front of my kids. It’s a choice. I promised that weekend to go 365 days straight without yelling.

When does The Orange Rhino Challenge™ end?
The last day of The Orange Rhino Challenge year one was Wednesday, February 6, 2013. Woo hoo! I had to re-set my counter three or four times since my January 22nd start date hence the February 6th end date. That said, in my mind, The Orange Rhino Challenge™ will never officially end as it is a lifestyle change. Every day I choose to stay focused on being as calm and yell free mom as I can be! Here are two posts about my next steps post year one: “What’s Next Orange Rhino?” and “The Orange Rhino Re-Start”

How do I become a part of The Orange Rhino™ Community?
It’s simple! If you like the Facebook page www.facebook.com/TheOrangeRhino you are in! Everyone is welcome. Moms, dads, grandparents, newlyweds, caregivers, whomever! I use the Facebook page to share my alternatives to yelling, funny moments from my day, successful yell free moments from my days, help-I-need-support-from-you-all-to-stay-yell-free moments from my day as well as updates on new blog posts. I encourage everyone to post on the Facebook page when seeking support, advice, or a listening ear. Again, everyone is welcome in The Orange Rhino community so long as everyone plays nice! Our community is judgement free. All of us come from different backgrounds and different parenting styles and yet we share the same goal of learning to yell less and love more™; let’s stay focused on our common goal, not our differences.

I love the non-judgmental and supportive Orange Rhino™ community and I really want to continue supporting all the parents out there who want to yell less and love more™. As parents we have so much to worry about and feel guilty about; yelling too much doesn’t need to be added to the list. Let’s keep our community full of love so I can keep it going!

What is the 30 Days to Yelling Less Challenge I have heard about?
Deciding to yell less or not at all can be massively overwhelming. I inadvertently followed about 12 steps to get where I am today and the 30 Day Challenge is my attempt to walk people through those steps so the journey is not so overwhelming. The first go around started January 16th ish and ended on Valentine’s Day. We spent the first half of this time preparing and practicing for the challenge and then on February 1st everyone started working towards his or her own goal. I send out daily emails with thoughts and actions for the day.

Will there be another 30 Day Challenge and how do I join? Due to popular demand, yes I will lead another one! I am going to take some time after the first one stops to figure out how to improve it. I want everyone to be as successful as can be…again, as parents we have so much to think about and often feel bad about! I don’t want this to be more stress! You can join by simply emailing me at theorangerhinochallenge@gmail.com and I will add you to the list for the next one.

What is one way you would suggest I start learning to yell less?
As I look back at my first week of the challenge, I did a lot of yelling into the cupboards, closets, freezer and toilet. Yes, you read that right! I taught myself first to yell AWAY from the kids and just scream an “ahhhhh!!!!” instead of screaming nasty words at them. Pretty soon I felt silly and realized wait, I do have the self-control to not yell at them. This gave me the confidence to stop all together.

What does “It’s Time to Toot Your Rhino Horn” mean?
When I started the challenge I checked in every night on Facebook and shared my progress. I quickly started calling it “Tooting your Rhino Horn.” I found that checking in kept me accountable to my promise and kept me motivated. The one week I didn’t check in at all because I was on vacation, was my hardest week ever on The Challenge. I encourage everyone to chime in and share their progress when I post about tooting your rhino horn…even if you had what you think was not a great day. First, just showing up and trying to yell less and trying to be a parent parent is tootable. It is hard to do all that, be proud of it! And sharing that you had a hard day might not only feel good but will probably get you support from other parents in the same position.

 

10 thoughts on “F.A.Qs for T.O.R.

  1. Again…and again I find myself thanking you. your attention to details in your blogs are so helpful. I hope you feel better and get the rest you need. i knew i needed a change and not live this way anymore but had no idea how to start. your page came up at the time i needed it most.

  2. I am going to officially start on the next challenge later this month but was inspired to get a head start and announced to my kids on Feb 1 as you suggested so that i cld check in with them to see how i was doing and so that they would know i was trying and to let me know when i was slipping. Its only been a few days and i almost fell off the wagon last night when i was stressed out about something else but instead i angrilly said what was on my mind out of earshot. And then i was able to come back and be ok in Just a few minutes…typically an angry statement would morph into yelling then feeling badly and yelling more cuz i felt bad and an hour later id hate everyone and everything around me…that didnt happen last night and i was able to give my babies what they needed…a peaceful tear free bedtime!

  3. My friends and I are in awe of what you have done. We are now setting up own little support page and following your ideas and suggestions. We are great parents we just want to be better! I look forward to what this challenge brings. We are excited to be part of the Orange Rhino Challenge.

  4. Hello. I have signed up, and have been reading the blog for a few days. But have been beleaguered with thoughts for months that I yell too much. Other people tell me all the time how well-behaved my 2 boys (5 and 3) are. And I just always think, about how it is behind closed doors. And I feel like I am the only mom who yells (except for the “mean” lady in the library parking lot…’member her?). So I was thrilled to find this and am trying to work hard at it. Praying I don’t have to do re-starts. I don’t want to yell. Who does?
    I don’t do facebook though. is this a problem?

  5. I just found your site. I would like to participate in the challenge. Please sign me up for the next one, if I am too late for this one.

    Thanks!

  6. I printed off the things to do instead of yelling and I’m going to work this week on learning my triggers. Then work on the not yelling starting with the vaby steps. Again I thank you for posting this.

  7. I am relieved to know that it’s not just me. I work fulltime and am a single mom to 6 yr old twin boys and I feel like I am screaming and yelling at them all the time. Because they did something. Or didn’t do something. Or because I am in a bad mood. Whatever the reason, I don’t want to be this way anymore. I came across your tips while surfing the web tonight after the kids were in bed (I was in tears again after an earlier outburst) and I so appreciate your honesty and willingness to share your experiences this way.

    I am officially starting the Orange Rhino Challenge in the morning. Thanks again for sharing. You’ve got a new fan here.

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