Tonight I Toot My Rhino Horn

This is not an ordinary blog post, but here goes anyways!

I need to “Toot My Rhino Horn” tonight big time. I was going to write about it as a comment on our Facebook Community tonight when I called for others to “Toot His/Her Rhino Horn” but then I quickly realized it wouldn’t be a comment, but more like a long story so hey, why not just blog.

So here I am. Blogging and Tooting at the same time. This is a complete, top of my mind, no editing, no thinking post. So please prepare yourself for totally nonsensical (is that a word?) thoughts and writing!

As you all know, last week I posted about leading another “30 Days to Yelling Less Project” starting tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow. I was so proud of myself for figuring out an easy way to get people to sign up. The last two rounds I manually entered about 800 names into my gmail contacts. I kid you not. I am not what you say technologically gifted! I really wanted to run another 30 day Challenge but with the current set-up in my life, manually entering names just wasn’t an option. I hemmed and hawed about not running another Challenge but finally decided I would just take a leap of faith and use the email service many of my blogging friends used.

So I figured out how to set up a form to get subscribers. Score.

And then I figured out how to embed said form into a blog post. Double Score.

And then I shared it with all of you and got 6,000 people. Holy Smokes! Triple Score and then some.

Last night I decided to log in and do a practice for today. Um, negative one thousand score.

In all my research, I didn’t confirm what would happen if I had more than 2,000 people sign up. I mean, I had NO idea this idea would get such a response! I am floored and excited and scared and nervous all at the same time! Any who, so it turns out that because I am over 2,000 people, my account needs super duper verification in order to be used.

I learned this last night.

At 8:00 p.m.

I wanted to send out an email tonight. At 8:00 p.m.

But I can’t. Because my account is on hold.

The customer service reps are “barely” on during the weekends. So I am stuck patiently waiting until Monday at 9:00am to resolve this issue. I am stuck with the thought that I will let 6,000 people down by not being able to send an email tomorrow morning.

Now let me tell you a little something about myself. I don’t like letting 1 person down, let alone 100, let alone 600 or 6,000! Pre-Orange Rhino Challenge days, if this exact last 24 hours went down I would have been all worked up, in a hissy and probably snapped and yelled at my kids unnecessarily. Yes, I would have taken my frustration out on them.

But guess what? The thought never crossed my mind today! Why? I have learned in the last year plus that some things you can’t control and when that is the case, I need to let go or let out a yell. Letting go is a harder choice, but is always better. So today, I let go of the frustration. I let go of the disappointment in myself that I didn’t plan better. I let go of the high expectations of myself and I said, “It will be what it will be, do not let it ruin your day and especially don’t let it eat you alive.”

Because honestly, before this Challenge, it truly, madly, deeply would have. I would have dwelled and dwelled and been cranky all day. I wouldn’t have enjoyed a great workout. I wouldn’t have enjoyed building a pool out of Legos with my son. I wouldn’t have enjoyed actually going to a pool with my sons. I wouldn’t have laughed as much as I did at my life tonight when the house felt like a circus and my husband and I were the spectators, not the ringmasters!

Oh my gosh, not dwelling was SO FREEING and I truly believe I have made a lot of progress on “this skill” because of learning to not yell; because of forcing myself to realize what triggers me and to fix it. It feels so good to let go of frustration and not unleash it on my kiddos! Is a little bit of me still annoyed and disappointed and worried y’all will be mad? Of course. Because I care, immensely. Please don’t take my excitement that I let go the wrong way J and please know that I am sending an email every few hours to get things working. Oh, and please know that I will figure this all out and we will get rocking on our journey to yell less and love more.

But until then, I toot my Rhino horn for letting go! TOOT!

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40 thoughts on “Tonight I Toot My Rhino Horn

  1. You are only human, and yes, things happen that we cannot control. You are amazing at everything you do, and I am so thankful I found you. This will be my second times doing this challenge, but I need it more than ever!!! Thank you for everything you do. You are greatly appreciated!! :)

  2. Thank you so much for your blog! You couldn’t have encouraged me more on this journey if you had tried!! I am looking forward to your email – whenever it may come & I know it will so don’t worry!! – and I’m excited for you as well. Thanks for willing to be so vulnerable.

  3. You are letting nobody down. You have not only inspired 6,000 people to be better people and parents, but are actively holding our hands while we do it. This challenge has not officially begun, but it has already changed me for the better. Just knowing I have you out there to lean on has made me a better person. And for that I am grateful. And I am grateful that you and your children had to spend those few years in a yelling home. Because without that trouble, you would not be in a position to help all if us. So tell your children that I am thankful for every time you screamed and yelled and the sacrifice that your family had to make to make me a better person. And you know what? What a great way to kick off this challenge than with you keeping it together and leading by example.

  4. Good for you, please don’t worry! I am excited, but totally understand and will be ready when you get it all working:)

  5. You know what – you started this for you – you wanted to share this blessing as a gift to others – so not letting it eat you alive is the least you can do for yourself. When you are trying to do something good for someone, and it is backfiring – it’s funny how easy it is to beat yourself up over it – when the person (people) you are trying to bestow the gift upon either have no idea and/or are just grateful for what you are doing for them to begin with. Yet because you have such good intentions, you want to give them all you have to give. That’s the mark of a truly good soul – but you know what – you also have to remind yourself that most people are MORE than happy with anything you have to offer to begin with. Anything more than that is gravy – nothing more. God Bless You. :-)

  6. Woo hoo!! That’s fantastic! I am still at the stage where I would have gone crazy and definitely taken it out on my daughter, but I am getting better at calming down and letting things go. We’ve had a stressful week and I totally kept it together, even though every room I cleaned was almost instantly inundated with toys or craft things (think tiny little pieces of paper and glitter all over the living room floor that I had vacuumed 20 minutes before!!)
    I didn’t yell, I kept my cool, and I felt so much more relaxed!

    Also.. WOW! 6,000 people!! That’s awesome!

  7. Congrats….what a huge accomplishment! I hope to be as strong as you by “letting go” when I should be!

  8. way to go!
    I made it through my first day. (2 hours left technically..)
    Looking forward to tomorrow.

    Congrats to both of us, and everyone else who stayed yell-free

  9. Well Done 6,000 People! was there ever any doubt!! you are revolutionary and without realizing it your post was enough to start this challenge on the right foot. This challenge that i have “practiced for” for over a month now but fell off the wagon big time recently. i think what struck me most about your writing tonight was that things will happen and we have to keep on moving along and especially not let it eat us alive(i really like that part! I’m so soaked in guilt sometimes my fingers are all pruney!)
    So thank you for the perspective. much appreciated. I’m sending lots of IT vibes to get this system up and running! till then -rookie mom

  10. Yay!! So amazing when you can see your own progress. Can’t wait to be there. Personally, i won’t be disappointed b/c I know you are working on it.

  11. No one is mad, everyone loves you and your idea and your honesty and the honesty that you evoke and encourage in other women. I feel supported and validated, because of you. Thank you. Today was my first day not yelling and it went amazingly. I am so surprised. It takes so much less energy out of me. At one point, when my son tried to bring the outdoor umbrella from the picnic table into the house, open, i almost lost it, bit i raised my voice and caught myself, i said, “no don’t do that….. , honey!” I thought the additionof the word honey eased the raised voice so i gave myself a pass for that one. I am cracking up. I know I’m going to be a better mom just from knowing you.

  12. I Am excited. What are the basics we should know going in? I didn’t know my husband would be out of town for the next 10 days when I took this challenge, so this might just be perfect timing. :) Thank Goodness for you and your efforts.

  13. I’m impressed! Your blog post confirms that your “30 Days to Yelling Less Project” is worth the effort, and the wait if that becomes necessary. My daughter interrupted me while I was deciding if I wanted to comment. She came to tell me that she smeared whiteout on our brown microfiber couch. I didn’t yell. Largely because your thoughts about not yelling were fresh in my mind. Thanks for helping me out with your blog post! How could I be upset or disappointed about that?

  14. Good for you! I had a really really horrible day as a mom today, but am trying to let it go and tell myself that starting this challenge tomorrow is exactly what I need to do for my family. I will get better at this. I will not snap over the toddler pushing the baby down onto the floor for the 5th time in the past hour… Thank you so much for sharing and encouraging me that this can be done!

  15. I’m excited for this challenge!!! I’m a BIG believer that IF work hard on an area in your life it will surely bless by transferring over to another area.
    I also believe that something that seems to be a ‘curse’ in your family, IF work hard on that so called ‘curse’, then you can be the person who STOPS it in it’s tracks for the generations to follow.
    The posibilities are endless!

  16. Wow thats amazing that you have so many people eager to change their lives and their family’s lives in such a positive way learning not to yell!! Im so glad Ive found you and this wonderful group of people! TootToot for letting go!!

  17. Just reading this post has really inspired me and I am so excited that I will get there some day too!! I just found Orange Rhino on Friday, I don’t remember how even, but I signed up on Saturday!! I’ve been reading and printing and posting orange and getting all set up with accountability people and everything. I need this soooo bad! I have tried to stop yelling on my own so many times and failed so many times. Thank you so much for doing all this. Not getting the email till 9am tomorrow was not even a blip on my radar. I’m glad you were able to let it go.

  18. Wow. You have started something great. Relax, and pat yourself on the back. You have 6000 people committed to not yelling. I am sure that there are lot of spouses and children out there that would thank you too if they could. Thank you.

  19. I found your blog yesterday through a friend, and I immediately signed up for the challenge. I can’t even tell you how much I needed to find it. My problem with yelling at everyone and everything, especially my kids is breaking my heart and eating me alive. I was so encouraged reading your blog that I started my challenge a little early, and I am proud to say I didn’t yell at my kids once today. There was one moment where I sternly addressed my five year old, not in a raised voice, but with condemnation in my tone. The look on her face made me realize I have so much to change. I made baby steps today. I am hopeful, thanks to you. I eagerly await your emails, I just want you to know, you are already a great inspiration. Thank you!

  20. Your example of not dwelling on it hit home with me. I have a LOT of trouble letting go of things, whether big or small. As a matter of fact, before I saw this post, I wondered why I hadn’t gotten any messages yet, and I began to wonder…did I make a mistake and not go through all the steps to sign up? *gasp* Did I miss the boat? OH NO!!! How could I be so stupid!? I NEED THIS, and now I’ve somehow SCREWED UP!!! I had visions of begging you to somehow include me on the list. Then I came across this post and realized you were having some technical difficulties, and I breathed a tentative sigh of relief. I won’t feel completely better until I get a message, but then, the anxiety isn’t your fault, it’s MINE! I get so worked up and in a panic before I have good reason to. Sheesh! Do I need this or WHAT!? Thanks for doing this, and no worries on the delay. It’s good for me, and exposes what I really need to work on.

  21. We’re not mad, not at all! Just waiting patiently and happily for your guidance :-) hey, it can be a 29 day challenge 😉

  22. Yoo Hoo! You go girl! It’s fantastic to see so much progress.
    I remember the time when I came home and my daughter told me there had been a little fire in the kitchen. I asked her how it had happened and then said “Well that’s something you’ve learned isn’t it?”
    She was amazed. She had been scared to tell me because she knew I’d be mad. But it hadn’t occurred to me to get upset. We both marvelled at how far I had come.

  23. I hear ya, on the technical issues. I’m still learning plenty of technical stuff online. I am eager to see what you bring us. You aren’t disappointing us.

  24. I am so excited to be starting this journey and this post solidifies it is the right move for me! I, like you, also HATE to disappoint ANYONE…and have been so frustrated that I have become an impatient yeller, being most disappointed with myself that I could keep composure at most anything that came up in working life/public life yet let the loves of my life take the brunt of my erupting volcano! Crazy guilt every night over it.

    I knew I needed to do something when I found myself trying to convince my girls that they should be more patient with each other, asking “would you talk to/treat your best friend that way? Then why treat your family that way?” WOW, wakeup moment when my 4 year old said “then why do you yell at us mommy? Do you love us as much as your best friends that you don’t yell at?”

    Then I saw Orange Rhino post via a friends facebook page and VOILA – I am here, and I am ready to DO THIS!!!! Yahoo!! Thanks, I already feel like a million bucks and asked my girls to give me a “mom…orange rhino” if they see me escalating :)

    THANK YOU THANK YOU

  25. I love this! Not that you had to deal with the email frustration but that you aren’t some techie, savvy, perfect, super blogger mom. Just makes you all the more human and relatable for those of us starting this challenge. And I love the lesson you learned about not dwelling on the frustration. So thank you for sharing. And no worries!

  26. I am so excited about this! Today I’m travelling for work so should be an easy one but I need this so badly and hoping that like you, the 30 day will turn into a 60 day, to a 365 day and then just change who I am. I’m also hoping that by doing this, I can reverse the damage the past years of yelling have done!

  27. Thank you for being so honest! You have one person here that didn’t mind this at all. I am just so excited you’re leading us through this … so I am going with the flow!!

  28. You are awesome. You have inspired me in so many ways and I went to the store and bought an orange journal, nail polish, post-its! I’m very excited and motivated for this challenge. I appreciate all of the hard work, thoughtfulness and consideration you give to those of us that are trying to change. You just wanted to give people ample time to sign-up and couldn’t have predicted the amazing response so THANK YOU for the stress and headache you put into all this. It’s making a difference for so many and their children!

  29. So I’m just trying to get this straight, I can yell to let it out but I just can’t yell at my kids? Can I yell about my kids just not at them? Counting doesn’t seem to help me calm down because I can’t really get away from the situation (kids not going to bed and listening to me at 9pm which is way past their bedtime). And when I count it seems to really stew inside of me even more.

    • I can’t stand counting either :) My goal is to not yell at my kids – but I still need to let frustration out sometimes. I think it is okay to let out an ARGH into the air, the closet or anywhere not at the kids. That is how I started. Soon thereafter though I didn’t even feel that urge….

  30. Nice job letting go of what you can’t control. I am working on that too. My dad always said don’t worry about what you can’t control, focus your energy on what you CAN.

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