80 days down, 285 to go!
(Okay, totally jumping the gun here, I still have hours to go BUT what the heck, if I can handle a physical ailment flair-up this week and still not yell (when I normally would have SCREAMED BLOODY MURDER 2-3x a day, on a good day), then I can go 60 more minutes of not yelling! P.S. Wrote this last night but it wouldn’t post. Let’s hope it goes up right now!)
Dear Orange Rhinos,
I wanted to share with you what I did last tonight, what took 90+ minutes to do but should have taken about 5. As a result I didn’t get to write the post I have wanted to write all week. I am *hoping* the tradeoff is worth it, for ALL of us. Everyone, please keep your fingers and toes and whatever else you can crossed.
One of our fellow Orange Rhinos shared an article with me titled “Discipline without Screaming” published in Parents Magazine last month. (I’ve scanned the article and shared it below).
As an article I enjoyed it. But it didn’t blow me away. Did it remind me of all the negative effects of yelling at my kids? Absolutely. Did it therefore remind me, and reinforce to me, why I started The Orange Rhino Challenge in the first place? Absolutely. Did it give me some new ideas to try to keep from yelling? Absolutely. Did it reaffirm my personal learning that I can’t just blame my kids, that I need to be in control “of my emotions in the moment”? Absolutely. Did it comfort me to read that 89% of Americans say they yell? HECK YEAH! So nice to know we are all truly not alone. Did it inspire me to keep going with The Orange Rhino Challenge even though I want to quit? Double Heck Yeah.
BUT, what would have really inspired me, or really helped me more, would be to read about what REAL MOMS are doing to discipline without screaming. It is great to read what the experts suggest, but do they have kids? Do they know it works? Who knows.
What I do know is that The Orange Rhino Community DOES KNOW what works.
And that is why I love OUR little community that is growing. We are real. We are honest. We are the ones in the trenches figuring it out together. We are willing to admit the good, the bad, and the really ugly. And by sharing it with each other, with STRANGERS, we are helping each other. We are collectively responsible for making lots of little kiddos lives better. Which is just plain awesome.
I like to think of us as the Erin Brokovich’s of Not Yelling. People liked her because she wasn’t an attorney, she wasn’t an expert. She was just someone who cared and wanted to make a difference. That is what we are. None of us (at least that I know of) are experts on this matter, this not yelling at our kids. We are experts, however, in being honest about wanting to change, wanting to be better mothers/fathers, wanting to make a difference in our children’s lives. What gives us the credibility to talk about not yelling? Because just like Erin not only are we genuine but also we CARE PASSIONATELY about our kiddos. And that is what matters.
So I think WE should be the ones writing the article. We should be the ones sharing the ideas on how to discipline without screaming. Because personally, I think collectively our stories are truly inspiring. Why? Because we aren’t just talking about changing, we are trying to change. We are saying to each other, okay, this is hard, but let’s try anyway, and let’s keep trying even if it is hard and we do slip. BECAUSE IT IS WORTH IT. Our kids deserve our best. Whether that means we don’t yell at all or whether it means we yell 3 times a day instead of 7.
Am I discounting the experts? No. There are some fantastic points in the article about why yelling doesn’t work, what negative impacts it has both on our kids and what we teach them. I am just saying that we are a kick ass community with some great ideas worth sharing.
So tonight I wrote Parents Magazine and told them just that.
And I am really, REALLY, hoping they didn’t just hear me “Toot OUR Rhino Horn” loud and clear, but that they also immediately realized and agreed that we would have something wonderful to share.
Here is the article, scanned old school! The last part in the car reminds me of this post I wrote: http://theorangerhino.com/watchout-shes-gonna-blow/. Curious to know, what do you think of the article?