Finally, Free From the Mucky Muck!

I have had a mantra in my head for a while now: 2013, Take a Hike, 2014, Bring It!

I know. It’s March 18th, 2014 and not 11:59 on New Year’s Eve 2013. So what the heck is up with just sharing this mantra? Am I late to the game in sharing New Year’s Resolutions? Nope. I already did that here where I wrote about re-focusing on Yelling Less and Loving More again, because really, it is a journey and not a destination! Am I late to the game in reflecting on 2013 and my feelings for it? Nope. I have done that for most of 2013! So why the sudden reference to it then?

Well, because until today, I haven’t had the positive energy to officially tell 2013 to take a hike and 2014 to bring it (even though everyone in close proximity to me knows I have wanted to!) I just haven’t believed that 2014 would be a better year! You see, while 2013 brought lots of wonderful, wonderful things my way, it also brought a lot of strife my way every time I turned around (or so it felt.) There was this post about my son’s seizures, this post about marriage, and this post about depression. And I am yet to write about the real negative impact my broken foot had on me this fall or about the day my son fell, hit his head and was rushed to the Head Trauma center.

I no longer wanted my cast to push me to snap from frustration. So I wrote myself a BIG reminder to keep it together. After this, my boys colored all around it. My beautiful cast ever!

I no longer wanted my cast to push me to snap from frustration. So I wrote myself a BIG reminder to keep it together. After this, my boys colored all around it. My most beautiful cast ever!

Yes, 2013 was filled with a lot of yuck. I have never been so thrilled to kiss a year goodbye, as I was this past New Year’s Eve! And I have never been so excited to start a new year, to start fresh; to create new, more positive memories that don’t necessarily erase the past ones, but definitely help the yucky ones not be so dominant and present in my mind.

These last few months I have really tried to focus on being positive, on being grateful. And not just because I know those two mentalities help me to not yell per my “New Year’s Resolution,” but because that is the place I want to be! I have tried to pull out of the muck from 2013 that held me down, that held me back from laughing and living as fully as I wanted, but as life goes sometimes, despite my best efforts, 2014 pretty much started off a lot like 2013, making it hard, not impossible, to choose to be in a good place more often than not! Booo!

And then, today happened. Today I felt that positivity and gratefulness at such an immense level that well, quite frankly, I had the best day of 2014 yet!

Today, and last night, you all bestowed such love, enthusiasm and support upon me around the announcement of my book that for the first time in a while, I could feel my feet lifting from the mucky muck. Today I finally felt that  2014 was bringing it – just as I hoped and so very much craved! Today, my heart yelled a lot less and loved a lot more. A lot, lot more. Because of you. And I am crying as I write this because I am just not sure you understand the depths of my appreciation and sincere, utter gratitude to you for taking to time to write such kind words to me about the upcoming release of my book.

I have written before that The Orange Rhino Community is an amazing place and that my folks, is an understatement! It is so rare to find a place free of judgment and full of such love and support for strangers. It is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I love being an Orange Rhino and being part of this amazing movement of parents and I truly hope that the rest of 2014 gives me ample opportunities to meet all of you so that I can say thank you in person for helping to make this Community what it is; for helping to make me who I am; for helping to make me believe that 2014 will bring good things!!

And on that note, I am going to sign off and absorb all the gratitude and love I feel so that if 2014 dares to act like 2013, I have a positive memory to recall quick and easily before any mucky muck tries to pull me down! (Sorry for the “Bob the Builder” television show reference there, when you have watched it for 6 years straight, it is on your mind all the time, even more so than negative memories. Ha! Bob the Builder, can we fix it. Bob the Builder yes we can. You all are totally helping me to fix the path of my 2014 – thank you, again!)

All my best,
The Orange Rhino

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2 thoughts on “Finally, Free From the Mucky Muck!

  1. I know what you mean. I wish we were neighbors. I had struggled with yelling and negative talk for so long. Thanks to your blog and this community, I am now doing so much better. I don’t think I’ve gone a whole day without yelling or complaining or criticizing but things are going so much better. I still yell at least once a day but it’s short and easily redirected. I have gotten to enjoy my children so much more. I loved your idea of catching the kids doing something good. It has created such a positive atmosphere in our home. I am battling depression so life is still hard but I have hope and we are loving each other more. You are making a difference in so many people’s lives! You’ve said several times that it’s not about perfection or being the best mom. It’s about loving more. This has definitely been true for me. I realize I need to stop criticizing myself. Many of my triggers come down to very low self esteem and a negative spirit. Most of us moms are just way too hard on ourselves. We need to love ourselves more :) Anyway, I’m rambling happily. What I mean is thank you!!! Thank you for being honest and vulnerable, for being intentional about creating this community, thank you for sincerely caring about all of us even though you have never met us. THANK YOU!

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