About Me

So who is this Orange Rhino chick anyway? Does she have a name? Is she real? While I do have a fake name, I am real, I promise! Here is a post about why I am anonymous, and here are some real details about my life!

I am a stay at home mom to four BOYS now ages 6 ½, 5, 3 ½ and 21 months. Yes, we’ve been busy, yes they were all planned, and no I don’t know why I have all boys when I have a low threshold for noise, chaos, and physical behavior! Before I became a SAHM I worked on developing really cool consumer brands like “M&M’s.” Whenever I miss working, I just tell myself that I am responsible for launching 4 totally new brands! I am not a writer and I don’t pretend to be. I am, however, an “emoter”; I would tell my feelings to a wall. You will find here that I write about all my feelings: the good, the beautiful, the bad, and the ugly. I don’t hold back! I hope that in sharing, I will not only feel better, but might also help someone else feel better too! I describe myself as a sarcastic, honest, overwhelmed, over-achieving (but in a good way), down-to-earth person. I am very hard on myself but only because I want to do better for myself and those I love, like my family and my friends. Oh, and sometimes I am funny. Sometimes.

I love to eat nachos, ice cream sundaes, and sushi. I met my husband on a blind date and told my mom after our first real date that I was going to marry him. I was right! It didn’t take long for us to decide we wanted a large family and we feel fortunate to have 4 healthy boys.

Moving forward, I will refer to my sons as #1, #2, #3, and #4 to help protect their privacy. That and well, quite frankly, that is how I have started calling them at home because it is WAY easier….Our days are filled with pre-school, occupational and speech therapy lessons, extra-curricular lessons, lego building, Candy Land playing, fist fights, verbal fights, I’m not going to listen to you fights, tears and more. The more being love and laughter of course.

Now here’s a little bit about each boy…why I love ‘em and why they drive me to yell! (I figured a little insight into their distinct personalities would give you numerous insights into why I yell so much!)

#1 (6 ½ years old): He is amazing: intellectually curious, empathetic, charismatic and more. He is a very aware little boy which makes him very sweet but also very emotional and sensitive to noise, chaos, and change. As such, he is easily set off and quick to yell, but then hard to settle down when he is upset and in the obstinate zone. He requires a lot of love, understanding, 1 on 1 attention and patience. (Don’t we all?!) I have the love and understanding (personality wise he is my long lost twin!), it’s the attention and patience that I am lacking!

#2 (5 years old): He too is amazing, aren’t all kids all the time? He has a love for life that I dream of having. Absolutely nothing fazes him; he is completely carefree and walks around smiling and telling phenomenal stories with great gusto. But, in being so carefree, he takes his precious time to do everything and he could give a sh*t about what I have to say or his brothers think. He intentionally does things to incite a war with his brothers and does so with a twinkle in his eyes. Oh, and his everyday voice is normally as loud as a yell.

#3 (3 ½ years old): Ah, sweet, hysterical #3. He is an absolute ham, always making us laugh. His grandparents call him little-John Belushi which fits him to a tee. But our little Belushi is struggling with a speech delay, is starting in with the same sensitivities as his older brother, and has a mystery physical ailment that makes him cantankerous as h*ll for 7-10 days a month. During this time he alternates between whining and tantruming (is that a word?) All. Day. Long. It’s beyond intolerable but he’s beyond adorable.

#4 (21 months old): At only such a young age, he too is amazing. He is a perfect combination of his older brothers, loving, easy-going, full of laughter and full of rambunctious! As the youngest of four boys he has already mastered how to climb on top of the boys when they are rough housing and has no fear whatsoever. Our fear is he recurrent seizures. He has had four since September BUT none since February 6, 2013 which is a really good sign. Fingers crossed we stay seizure free!

So there you have it. A view into my life as a Stay at Home Mom to 4 boys under 6 ½. I love my 5 boys (husband included!) immensely, challenges and all. I love them so much that I am willing to undertake this crazy challenge!

 

41 thoughts on “About Me

  1. Love it! Absolutely love your challenge! I am a Mama to 2 amazing boys now 11 and 8. I love being their Mama and the joys and laughter they bring me brighten my days more than I could have imagined…but they also drive me to insanity at times…too many times lately. I say to my husband that I so miss the days when they were really little…I was patient then. More understanding. More tolerant. Those were my easy parenting years. My girlfriends would always comment on what a relaxed and patient creative Mom I was. But now I feel like I am faced daily with the challenge of keeping my cool. Things are different. More triggers that I have to be aware of in order to stay calm. I could write for ever here…feeling motivated and inspired by your story. I really took to heart all the advice you gave on how to stick to this challenge…I am up for it…thank you for sharing.
    Because I have not yelled yet today…my challenge begins…
    Monique

    • Hi Monique! I am glad you found this page and are inspired. Go you! From what you write I can tell that you will get back to the mom you said you used to be. Why? Because you know what patient looks like and feels like. You are also clearly aware of triggers and you are clearly driven to change. I believe in you. You should too! Keep me posted on your progress because you will progress :) Cheers, The Orange Rhino

  2. This blog is a godsend. I am a SAHM of 3 (5,4,2). I am not the mother I want to be and nowhere near the mother my children deserve. Why? Because I yell. I get stressed out and the house gets messy and we have somewhere to be and can’t get out the door and I yell. And I say things no child should ever hear from their mother, and if anyone else ever treated them the way I do at times. I would take them down. Then my children are unhappy and I hate myself for being hurtful and I hate myself every time I see one of them act just the way I do. It is the skeleton in my closet, and it is well past time for me to clean it out. I have been at a loss as to how until a friend shared your 30 day challenge on FB. Now I feel like there is hope. THANK YOU for your honesty and courage. My name is Sarah, I am a yeller, I have been non-yelling mamma for 1 day…and counting. :)

    • No thank you for your honesty, I have stumbled across this website as I just googled yelling at kids -I will start my challenge tomorrow as I spent all afternoon yelling at my kids – for being kids!! And yelling at then when they yell at each other, guess what they are just mirroring me.
      Good luck to all!!

  3. I just found your blog and totally relate to the Rhino bit and the not yelling bit. I too am a mother to 4 kids, 5 and under (now 7-2), but a mix of genders, and I was a SAHM till I became a single mum 2 years ago…so those are my challenges but I definitely to yell less and …I’m going to read your blog to see how you do it!

  4. it looks like it has been over a year since your challenge but this is truly inspiring! I am a HORRIBLE yeller and I instantly feel guilty afterward and almost go into anxiety panic attack mode! I have two boys and a girl and they are wild to say the least! I think I would like to try the ‘orange rhino challenge’ I’m so glad I found your blog and I’m thankful you had the time and patience to put this together for the sake of us other ‘yellers’ that need to change our bad habits :)

  5. I stumbled upon your FB page with a comment on a friend’s post from her friend about the Orange Rhino Challenge. I was intrigued by the name itself, but even moreso when I read what the challenge was all about. I have ALWAYS had a bad temper….from as long as I can remember. I also was blessed with being a patient person either, so now being a single (divorced) mom to two girls, 17 & 11, you can only imagine my stress levels! ;) I’ve dedicated 2013 as the start of a “new” me…I’ve began eating better, exercising, accomplishing goals I have set for myself, and just trying to “transform” to being a better, happier person all the way around! I’ve always wanted to control my temper. I’ve been happier, since I began eating better and exercising, but there are still times when I lose control and become angry. I purchased a punching bag/mixed martial arts bag for this purpose, and it has helped! :) Now, to change my inner self with your Orange Rhino Challenge, is what I’m looking forward to. I’m starting out small….30 days…..let’s see how it goes! Thank you!

  6. I am inspired. RE-inspired. I have gone through long, intentional phases of not yelling and I’ve given myself the excuse that my stubborn 3 year old son (affectionately nicknamed, “Destructo-boy”) is the reason that I’ve returned to being psycho yelling mom.

    But I’m done. Again. Seeing your boys’ ages makes me twitch a little, knowing how, um, busy my 8 and 3 year old sons are. If I didn’t have my mellow 6 year old daughter to neutralize things…I might be in a looney bin.

    So I’m doing it. Starting tomorrow. Thank you for sharing your journey – I look forward to catching up on past posts!

    • Found this on offshoot web trail begun at power of moms site and I embrace this challenge as my summer focus. Also have 3 boys (8, 13, and nearly 20) Stress and frustration and now I am a teller too. Guilty and angry at self… ugh. But trying to be intentional and inspired by my belated discovery of your site. Pending medical issues and recovery will provide time to catch up on blog and opportunities to practice my new challenge!

  7. This is the first time I have ever commented on, or even really read, a blog. I really really appreciate your honesty and your advice, not to mention your amazing drive and determination. I have two children ages 5 & 3, and I’m currently newly pregnant with my third. My yelling moments are almost always “transition” times – leaving the house, coming home, etc – and they have recently gotten worse. Eight days ago after a particularly rough day I went to bed thinking, “I never ever want to yell again. It doesn’t work with two, it certainly won’t work with three… And I HATE myself when I do it. Yelling is a lose/lose situation.”
    After searching around a bit for mothers in a similar situation, I found this blog. Wow! Thank you SO much for the energy and time you put into it. Your boys are lucky guys. I will be reading this throughout my pregnancy (and beyond!) for pointers and inspiration. Thanks – rachel

  8. My sister read me parts of your blog over the phone last week which inspired and motivated me to stop yelling. I gave it a try starting that day and what an improvement to the household atmosphere! Today was the first day I was able to get online to actually look up your Orange Rhino blog since we had my husband’s family from out of state over Easter weekend (there were 12 of them!). I, too, have four very young children–2 boys, ages 3.5 and 2.5; and 2 girls, ages 15 months and 1 month–and I need to improve my reaction to life before I leave too big of an impression. My 3 year old is also prone to yelling so Mommy needs to set an example of how to go through life calmly. I am planning on looking more deeply into the Orange Rhino Challenge so I can accomplish my goal more thoroughly and create a loving home for my family. I really hate yelling and need to learn to control myself so I can teach self-control to my children. Thank you so much for being an inspiration to all parents who want to change!

  9. I absolutely love your story/background. I came across the Orange Rhino Challenge via Facebook through another friend that was trying it. I will admit in my house I have to give myself some leeway. Let me explain why. My son, who is now 5 years old, was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD and has a few quirks that could put him into the Asperger’s category, but not enough to give him a “label”. If you aren’t sure what ODD is, it is Oppositional Defiant Disorder. My son is the sweetest child that could be. Loving beyond belief, intelligent and witty, but boy did I pass on my stubbornness and personality. Before questions start flying let me clear up my personality. Loyal to the end with friends, family and loved ones. Trust is something earned with me and not given away freely. I love deeply but if you cross me you are on my s**t list! I will do most anything (within reason) for someone even if it means going out of my way or putting out money. When I argue….don’t expect to win unless you can prove me wrong (see the stubbornness). Of all things I passed on to my son there are days I wish my personality was not one of them. As he has gotten older, and more vocal, the arguments have gotten worse. I have to constantly remind myself that he has the ODD working against him, and I should be the bigger person and the one who is his rock but often I crumble. Upon reading your story I have a renewed faith in what I can do for my son. While I don’t believe everyday will be a walk in the park I am going to try my hardest to keep my cool and not yell so that I can help him overcome his “disorder”. I don’t want him labeled “disabled”. I want my son to be able to do anything he sets his mind to and for that he needs a Mom backing him and in his corner and not one that is yelling. So, thank you for bringing this challenge and helping to make my home a better one!

  10. Hi there,
    I just stumbled upon your blog… I too, am a recovering screamaholic. I’ve challenged myself to stop yelling, and made it to about 20 days before. I’ve just read your blog and I’m inspired to start again. It’s so tough; but our kids are worth it! Thank you for your tips & insights :)

  11. I am a mother of 2 boys 4 and 2 and a little girl on the way. I work at a daycare in a toddler room and you would think that I would have an abundance of patience, which is true at work but when it comes to my crazy boys I have a really hard time not yelling! My oldest is very much a boys boy. He yells instead of talks, he has always been an aggressive kid whether for the good or bad, but he also has a huge heart and is my snuggler. My youngest is SO funny, he’s fairly easy going until something doesn’t go his way then his temper takes over. I never realized how much I yell until recently when the weather became nice and I’ve had the windows open and am more aware of my neighbors and I have to say I was totally disgusted with myself. I went onto the Internet and typed in technics on not yelling at your kids and your website popped up and I am INLOVE! I’ve now gone 2 days with no yelling which has NOT been easy but Iam So happy with myself. So thank you

  12. OMG!!! I just now found your blog, and I’m so glad I did!
    I have 3 boys, the ages of your first 3 (+ a baby princess ^_^), and lately I get to understand why people think so-and-so about a houseful of boys. I don’t know what got into them lately, but you know how it goes- forget the spilling and messing- I get to yell lately too often that this or that is SO DANGEROUS. But even so, I just want to stop yelling. 2 of them are always in about-to-scream mode, as is, and lately the baby started imitating that >_< They think it's funny when she yells… Anyway, even though most of the yelling is about something dangerous, I really want to stop yelling- it's enough noise in the house as is. I'm still not sure how I'll react to or prevent dangerous acts, but thank you so much for showing the way!
    And since you also have boys, young and close in age, I can really believe that your way could work!
    Thank you so much and God bless! ^_^

  13. Love your descriptions of your boys, they sound so much like my 4 boys, aside from my 2 month old that I don’t know all that well yet. Tomorrow will be my Day 1 of no yelling, if you can do it with 4 boys, so can I. Thank you for sharing your story!!

  14. Hello :) this is the first time I have commented since coming across your site when a friend shared it on FB a few days ago. I absolutely love reading everything you write bc I can really relate to all of it! I have been a SAHM for 6 1/2 yrs now. I am a mother to 4 amazing children that absolutely push me to my limits at times. My only boy is 6 1/2, next my girls are 5 1/2, 4, and my baby, she is 2 1/2. The past few years have been really really rough for a ton of reasons, but our family has overcome most of it by the grace of God. I love your site bc I too am a horrible yeller. I absolutely hate it, but honestly don’t know how to stop it, but now I see I’m not alone. So I am going to try my hardest to stop the yelling and love more. That’s all I have wanted the past few years is to stop being the way I am and just have a very loving heart. I read a post above from a girl and I can totally relate to her as well. Sometimes I get so upset over little things and say horrible things that I wouldn’t want anyone else saying to my babies but here I am saying it to them, and I see how it is affecting them and I can’t stand myself bc of it. Sometimes I get so irritable and moody I can’t stand myself! I know they are just kids, and I love them more than anything in this world! I hope I can achieve my goal of no yelling for 30 days and then maybe a longer goal. I hate yelling. I am so stressed and overwhelmed most of the time but it makes me feel better knowing I am not alone in this!! Thank you for sharing your stories!! :)

  15. So happy to have found your blog! I am also a SAHM to four boys, aged 9, 8, 6, and 5… And yes, I yell…….. a lot. Really, half the time it’s just to be heard above the noise of boys, but the rest of the time it’s basically a result of me being frustrated with myself and taking it out on my children (and poor husband)!

    Here’s to cutting back and eventually cutting OUT the yelling!!

    ~Jaime

  16. Wow I just signed up for your challenge…and came here to find out about YOU and wow you live in my home area!! My mom grew up in Stirling and I spent my young years in New Providence! My grandma lives in Berkeley Heights!

    What you did amazes me! I am mom to 3 boys (10 soon to be 1, 9 and 5) and 1 girl (9 twin) don;t think I can do this…My 9yr old boy is out of control…he steals, lies etc..I am so afraid I can’t get my yelling under control!

  17. Reading these comments is so comforting because I so often feel like other moms don’t flip out like I do at times or just lose it and seeing all these honest comments is so refreshing. We are not in this alone and I just love the whole concept of this! I have two boys , 6 and 3 1/2 and the fighting , tattling and whining -drive me batty sometimes and so often I feel such sadness that I’m not the mom I thought I would be- ie eternally patient and my older son can have a bad temper at times and I always feel like well if I was a better example he wouldn’t be like this. Which yes is true so I am going to lead by example and get my hubby on board , too. Didn’t yell today so we’re off!! Blessings to all you mamas!!

  18. I found you through a friend from AUS. I am in the US. Years ago, 2 of us moms were chatting and she said she did not understand how moms could yelled at their kids so much. I didn’t say much becasue I was pretty sure I fell into that catagory as far as she was concerned. And I actually did not come even close to some moms who made my ears hurt and my heart sad. That was over 20 years ago. I know the struggle to speak wisely and well. My first 3 are adults and I don’t yell at them except to come to help or eat. However, those adorable 2 teen girls do get me going. Even when I am so quiet it is YELLING in their minds. I am positive they are louder than me! Okay, maybe not, however, we all have grown in this and still growing. Love the name of theblogby the way! http://omega57.wordpress.com

  19. Hi! Ironically, I feel I am in the exact same boat as you and it must have been divinely providential that I found your site! I, too, have 4 boys: 6 1/2, 5, 3 1/2, 16 months! I find myself yelling, then feeling crappy and wanting to cry about it later…all while their little eyes look at me like I’m crazy. I so badly want their love and admiration but fear I can never acquire it if I continue on my path if yelling and losing my Irish temper. Your stories have given me hope and encouragement and I am going to take a leap and go for the challenge! I think it will be a refreshing change for not only me and my boys but my husband as well. Thank you!!!

  20. Thank you for your honesty…I wish I had that in me. To be forthright, and to ask for help when I need it. Dealing with a child with newly diagnosed intellectual/neurological issues is making me feel worn, tired, and hopeless. My talk is cheap; one minute telling my children how much I love them, and the next berating, belittling and being spiteful. They don’t deserve it, and I’m working on fixing myself, not them. Clearly, the way I deal with stress is the problem and I am vowing that today, I start to repair the damage I have done. I believe I came across your site for a reason, and I am thankful you are here (virtually, anyway ;) )

  21. This comment doesn’t have to stay on your blog but I am curious if your boy(s) have an autism spectrum disorder. My oldest daughter (7) does and is also epileptic. I think special needs bring an extra need for lots of mommy tools for coping with behavior. I appreciate your blog.

  22. Hi dear Orange Rhino Mom! :)
    Just read your description of your four boys … i had to smile, my two oldest are boys (5 &3) and match your description of sensitive and yelling and hard to settle plus one whose voice is always loud! ;)
    Have you ever heard of Elaine Aron? She has written an amazing book which i have in German but i think the English title is “the highly sensitive child” … It has helped me understand my oldest a great deal … i just wish i could incorporate the knowledge more into my day to day battles with his sensitive and yet explosive nature.
    Greetings from afar :)

  23. Came across this on Pinterest about the Orange Rhino and not yelling and as I delved into your site, I found more and more in common with you! I also have 4 boys all stair steps, though mine are slightly older now… at 10, 8, 7 and 5. And, as I read your brief description of yourself, it sounds so much like my own personality. It was comical. I, too, am a SAHM and I have a for yelling at my boys. Summers are difficult as they get very taxing, but I am determined to try very hard at the not yelling! I will stay tuned to your site and your reminders! Thank you!

  24. I am glad I found your blog. Mama to 4 boys here, 10, 7, 4, and (almost) 2. Homeschooling mama who hates the unexpected and loves order.. Yeah. So. I got boys to correct me of all that. hahaha Anywho, my number 1 has always been sensitive to sounds! And foods. And… everything. He is… well, he would probably be labeled on the autism scale if I let them. Crazy smart though. #2 is my goofball and he can push buttons like crazy…., #3 has a speech delay. He drops every ending sound. And is missing a bunch of others. He.is.hard. HARD. But oh my word what an awesome smile and laugh. And the way he stops to say I love you… melts the heart. #4 saved me when I thought I had nothing left for boys. He is a joy.

    Thanks for writing. I am working on that anger/yelling thing…. Summer is easier. I am trying to carry it through crazy busy school years.

  25. Wow, I can’t believe I am just finding you now…and by now I mean this late in your journey, but also now as in 2:29am Eastern Standard Time…think I’m a little freaked out about marriage and parenting ruts?? Hopefully I can finish reading your blogs before everyone gets up in 4 hours :) I too am a SAHM to 4 boys and a convicted yeller and it needs to stop….plan on signing up for your challenge by 3am :)

  26. I’m so glad I found your blog. I have two kiddos. A five year old boy and a 3 year old girl, and my husband and I really want to start trying for a 3rd baby soon. I want to get my act together first though. Yelling and giving my kids attitude are definitely on my list of things to work on. My son is very sensitive, and I really have trouble reacting to his meltdowns. My daughter has started giving back the attitude, and it kills me to hear such a mean tone of voice come out of her little mouth. I’m starting a 30 day challenge today! I can’t wait to see the results.

  27. Yay!!!!!!!! I love to follow bloggers who seem to live the same life as me. I too am a SAHM of 4 boys. They are 7, 5, 2, 7 months! Life is busy but I love it! So happy to read about the orange rhino challenge. I definitely need to try it! Enjoyed what I have read so far, makes me feel normal : )

    Julie

  28. I discovered your website by pure accident late last night and was so comforted to note that there are other moms out there who struggle with not yelling at their beloved children. I have twin sons aged 13 1/2. They are smart, loving and so physically talented in sports yet I scream horrible things at them when I lose my temper. I had tons of patience when they were younger, but in the last few years I have become a YELLER and I do not like that trait in me. I too have been inspired by your challenge, courage and honesty. Count me in!!!

  29. I just came across this today and I love this idea! I too have 4 boys their ages are 5 (6 next month), 4 1/2, almost 3, and 19 months. Like you, all planned! Currently pregnant with baby #5 (gender unknown). I am going to start with baby steps but will be trying! Thanks!

  30. I am so glad that I found your website through a friend. I am a SAHM of 3 boys – 6, 4, 19 mos. My mom was a serious yeller and I find that I am seeing some shades of her in me. I don’t do it often, but it’s becoming more often as the two older ones are constantly needing everything to be fair and vying for attention. I hate myself after yelling. Tonight was it – I am going to challenge myself. I hope it works! Thanks so much for writing this – I look forward to reading everything!

  31. Love this….totally and am emensly in love with this idea of no yelling more loving!!! I am a SAHM of 3 boys (4 if you count my husband) who drive me nuts but nonetheless I love them with all my being. I have come to realize that with a lot on my plate…..getting a house ready for sale, renovating another home in another town 30 mins away, oldest enrolled in new school district so I’m driving 600+ miles weekly to take to & from school, sports & activities, temper tantrums, potty training, homework, smart mouth remarks…..yup I’m sure you get the picture I am a yeller and I take it t on my boys and I can’t stand it.
    I try hard not to yell but it happens and its way too often….ugh can’t believe I am saying that out loud. I grew up in a house with a father who did nothing but yell and I do not want my children to have the memory that “mom yelled all the time”. It’s the one trait of mine that I literally can not stand. I am so grateful to have found your site and I am preparing myself to start this journey to become a non-yeller, a more loving and appreciative person and I truly believe that I came across this for a reason. Thank you for giving me hope ;)

  32. I am so glad I took the time to read your “about me” page. I have known about your blog for a few months and have been meaning to hunker down and start reading, but… I’ve been too busy yelling!
    I’m a SAHM of 4, too. I have 3 boys and a girl, they are ages 8, 6, 2 and 2. My middle son has high functioning autism and, to be honest, I never really thought the whole “yell free” thing was even a possibility in my life because my middle guy is constantly yelling at me (and driving me to the brink!!) That’s why I’m glad you described some of the challenges you face in your journey because it makes me think that I can do it, too!
    I just wanted to reach out and say thanks. I can’t stay too long; I have a lot of reading to do…

  33. Wow I’m glad I read your about me. I, too have four boys (7,5,4,2)! And they have driven my patience level way down and it has yet to rebound. With that said I have found myself yelling to just yell. I get louder and louder thinking for some stupid reason that might help. I have never gotten to a lose it point of making my boys break down and cry nor have I yelled mean things. It is just yelling and I honestly don’t like it. Thank you for your honesty and transparency about you journey. I think it is time to start one of my own.
    MamaK

  34. i am a mom of 3 boys under age of 4…this post i found of yours was a God send. so thankful for your words of wisdom and insight. a great challenge for me. thank you.

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